sixthwinemaiden

Tonight is a rather idle Friday night. It's a holiday in this part of the world, and most of my plans to go out are set for tomorrow. You know how it is when you find yourself incredibly bored -- you tend to think about things. 

For my part, I remember the things that I'd do before whenever I'm bored. A few years back, I'd always turn here in this very place, and I would write anything. As time passes, I'd continuously write about something, until that something became Prince of Tennis. Those times will always be one of the best. A little while ago, I took a peek at my archives and had to laugh at myself. But still, I feel that I deserve to pat myself on the back if I can (without looking silly, that is xD). This little corner of my world displays my strongest point, my growth, and the friends who define me. Suffice to say that this account, along with everything associated with this, is closely related to only a portion of myself after all. 

Which is why I believe that this should be updated accordingly. A formal closure is necessary.

I've thought long and hard about this. I really do want to return here on LJ, I want to be able to read what my friends write -- the works. However, I feel that reviving this account won't work anymore. A lot of memories are associated here, to be honest. Not just the wonderful memories of being a part of such a fun fandom such as PoT, but also memories of the friends that I've met through... crack xD. Some stayed even with me not talking about gay tennis boys anymore, some did not. Nonetheless, I am thankful for both.

I appreciate the things that defined who I am today through this journal. But this is not the way for me to return. It's time to move on, and perhaps, to create something that would show more about myself and the things that I currently love. I hope I don't have to abandon another part of my life again.

Dear f-list, if you're able to read this, I'd like to extend my deepest thanks to all of you... for defining happiness to me, though we have not really met in person. I still stop and think about you, the comments and snail mail that we've exchanged over the years, and all that. I am moving on now; I am starting anew. I'd like to hear from you guys again, but I leave the decision to you~ I won't be able to talk about PoT as often as I used to, but if you still want to have me in your f-list, feel free to leave a comment as I'll add you using a new account.

To wrap this up, I use my most favorite Inui/Kaidou icon. God speed, everyone~

My second semester will start on Tuesday. Uhh, woohoo? :|

Looking back at three weeks of sheer bumming around, I guess I didn't accomplish much for myself. Where did all the plans for writing and catching up go?! Maybe I left it back at school or something... (x_x) Or maybe my vacation is still not enough to compensate for all that stress last semester! orz

Well, on a happier note, I learned to sleep like a normal person -- like, wake up at 8:00 a.m. and sleep at around 1:00 a.m. Hey, that's still normal compared to my previous sleep pattern. Haku-chii (hakutenshi ) knows how insane my sleeping pattern was before this sem break XD But in case someone out there is wondering why I'm still here at 3:26 in the morning, let's just say that my body clock has detected the impending doom of school. I honestly can't sleep yet I can't do anything productive GRAH *pulls hair* >_<

Oh, and I heard that there's an Inui/Kaidou fic exchange. LOL KK-chan (shikanashi_kk ) was being as sweet as always by informing me on Facebook ♥ Also, PIKL Day is on the 22nd -- it's fast approaching! Therefore, a healthy number of friends are asking, "So, you're going to participate, right? 8D" Allow me to let it all out and say that I DO WANT TO JOIN. I want to join so bad that my body's going numb every time I *think* of joining. Every time I see the amount of people already signed up for the exchange, I recede from typing...

I want to join, but right now, I can't bring myself to write.

The ideas are there, but my body freezes once I attempt to write it out. Re-reading fics doesn't help, too. Even my previous fics are incapacitating me right now. Forgive me if I'm being all whiny these days, but it feels like I'm back to square one all of a sudden. Whenever I read my old fics, I feel that I've unconsciously reached new heights -- and because I unconsciously reached something, I may not be able to relive the ways that brought me to that height.

Heh, this reminds me of a line from MASA's Half-Moon photobook: Dance is my career. Dance makes life worth living... Dance is sadness... Dance is joy... Dance is a language. Dance is... life itself. OH, MASA, PLEASE TEACH ME THE WAYS OF... MASA *BRICKED BY A LOT* LOL I am tempted to strike out dance and insert "writing" there just so I'd feel better XD

I swear I have a lot of eemo planned for this rant post, but I think I'll stop. My chronic optimism has awakened and is challenging me to cut the whining and DO SOMETHING. (^-^)♥

Tadaima~ ♥

I really wasn't expecting anyone to react instantly to my last post, but thanks for the comments, sweethearts. I feel like I'm back from a long, tiring trip now. If you let me, I would like to spend the remaining two months of this year with you guys... o(^-^)o Oh, and I'll reply properly to those comments tomorrow. You can bet on that! \(><, ;;)

I'm feeling a bit sleepy now, but here's a little something before I go to bed:





Despite his short screen time and random appearances, I-I-I think h-h-h-he's really, REALLY awesome, a-a-a-aand he does OEKAKI asjkdal;skdfas;sdfk; *SPAAAAZZ* ♥!! I like him.

...then I thought, "He reminds me of MASA asdhskajkl;s;k" *FLAILS EVEN MORE* I like love him nao 8D

B-b-b-buuuut WHY DID HE TURN OUT TO BE SOMEONE FAMILIAR?! AS IN *SHUN OGURI* FAMILIAR?! ( ;A; )/

Obviously, confusion and hallucination is playing tag in my head right now. Or perhaps it only means that I see MASA everywhere :|



Oh, well. Go for the INUI, Mana~ ;"3

KYAAA~ ♥

Aaand this post has made me smile so much XD

On the 30th day of April 2006, I declared to the whole wide cyberworld that I am deeply in love.

Most of the time, I find it funny whenever I say that I am in love. When majority of people that I encounter say that, they say it to people -- living, sensient creatures who have the free will to reciprocate or reject those feelings. It would be very nice if something like that happened to me as well. But as far as I am concerned, the only declaration of love that I did is a bit farfetched from saying those words to someone special.

But all that didn't matter to me. I was in love, even if I was only in love with the mere idea that every fangirl fabricated in their respective minds. It all came down to one point: I wanted to make my ideas - even the most surreal down to the super idiotic ones - come to life. I wanted my love to breathe and pulsate, metaphorically. And to do that, I had to express those ideas with whatever ability I have.

That was the start of sixthwinemaiden. She who discovered that perhaps the world is not yet about to come crashing down on her. Tomorrow, maybe, but not on that day. She who found that every bit of thought - may it be random or not - sustained her, and unconsciously molded her into the person that she is now.

That was the day when writing became my breathing and my pulsation.

As I tread further down my imaginary slopes and flats, I realize that this basic history of mine repeats itself. Whether it may involve my emotionally-driven relationship with Inui Sadaharu and Kaidou Kaoru, or my hopeless obsession with a certain Nakagauchi Masataka, or my undying adoration for Sato Yuichi - the cycle goes on. I fall for them, find myself getting sucked in a wormhole back to reality, and find myself back in their sweet clutches.

People sneer at this kind of fanatical thought. I don't need to be paranoid-delusional to feel how they feel -- all of my fantasizing and obviously shallow thoughts won't do me any good. That sooner or later, I would have to grow out of this before I end up acting like a kid in the midst of all the adult angst. Yes, they have a point. They occupy the classic grey side of black and white, so to speak. But, I don't know. I can't find the slightest willpower to agree on that. I feel that I owe every bit of who I am now to these influences.

I guess the old cheesy saying bites hard. No matter what you do, you will always find yourself going back to that someone whom you love the most. Of course, there's a slight variation.

I just can't let go of this world, just as how this deserves my most beloved icon of all.

It's been two weeks already since the release of Cheers!!, and I still haven't seen Masa ranking in the Oricon Top 50 albums. :( Therefore, a thorough search has been initiated!

( Masa updates his history for two daysCollapse )

*gathers the last bit of coherency left* COOKIES AND LOTS OF AWESOME LOVE TO YOU IF YOU ACTUALLY READ ALL OF THAT. XD My head hurts.. info overload... TOO. MANY. JAPANESE TEXT. x__x

So much for finishing new layout. ><; *will now retire* Good night, loves~ ♥♥♥

Um. HAI GAIZ. XDD No, I'm not about to start another caps-spazzy post today. :DD♥;; Wasn't able to join Y!M spazz last night, though. I went home late because I TREKKED THROUGH TWO CITIES JUST TO GET MASA ALBUM FROM purple_umeko, and with me I lugged an annoying obstetrician's bag from the health center. XDDD YES, I AM WILLING TO DO ANYTHING FOR MASA \:D/

I shall restrain myself from talking about the album for now :| But Cheers!! is awesome, just saying~ :D Good lord, I was super late for my non-compulsory class earlier because I listened and watched the whole thing! BIG MISTAKE? NEVER.

And here's my little contribution for Masa Day. I'm pretty used to being late, go away. XDDDDDD I think this cracks part of my writer's block.... And it's FRIENDSHIP FIC. BELIEVE ME.

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( And then I lost my voice...Collapse )

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That was longer than I'd expected. o__O ANYWAY, MASA, WE LOVE YOU! ♥♥♥;;

I HAVE A HUEG DEMONSTRATION ON SUNDAY. I'LL PROBABLY NOT STUDY, HAHA. >D I SHALL STUDY FOR MASA! I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE, HAHA. XDDD We'll see~

</lj>

I was wondering when I'd try one of these. XDDD

Honestly, I don't want to go back to high school. It's fun, yes, and I've had the most awesome friends. But I don't want to find myself doing artfolio and all those stuff like random singing and dancing. ^^;; Make me do college paperwork anytime, just don't make me compile art or whatever. |D;;

Fictionally speaking, though--I won't mind going back if I can attend Rikkaidai Fuzoku. XDDDD Seishun Gakuen's cool, too, but I like Rikkai as an academic institution by a level up. ;DD

*goes back to work*

HAPPY NEW YEAR, LOVES~! <3

LOL the people here are already using up their fireworks. XDDD Let's welcome the new year with awesome stuff, ayee? ♥♥♥ *HUGS HUGS* ;DD

*goes to dork off somewhere, because I ish fail |Dv*