Because it's just hockey-related pornography. Warning, there's a lot of blockquoting under the cut!

( Tumblr sucks for commentfic.Collapse )

(NB: Warning for some character assassination of the Bruins, which I hope to rectify if I ever edit this. I had a flashback to my Bert-McCracken-related rage when I reread it.)

Crossposted to DW!

I'm overdue to post here, but I figured this was worth a hasty update: if you have a Delicious account (the bookmarking platform, formerly del.icio.us), they may have your full name listed on your profile. I'm not sure how they got at that information -- it might have been required for sign-up, I can't remember -- but mine was listed. You can change it in "Settings," I did it on my phone in a few clicks.

As iphignia939 put it, "zillahseye is facing a shitty living situation at the moment, and is looking for someone - or multiple someones - to help by (temporarily) taking in her cats for the time being." If you live in the Wisconsin area or know someone in the Wisconsin area, and would be willing to take in a cat, please email iphignia939 at iphignia939 [at] yahoo [dot] com, or let me know so that I can contact one or both of them. Comments are screened if you want to leave your email.

People Against Us
Hockey RPF, Sidney Crosby/Jack Johnson
Mature rating, warning for underage.

"It made it fun to to know there were 20,000 people against us." - Jack Johnson.

There's Sid, there's Jack, and there's the rest of the world.

Notes: Written for the Stickhandling zine project. This project produced a bunch of excellent fic, which you can read or find links for on svmadelyn's website.

Thanks to wearemany, who actually got me to write in this fandom, and to algernon_mouse, who gave the story an amazing, swift post-posting beta.

The underage tag is for sex between a 17 year old and an 18 year old. Message me or comment if you'd like any additional information before reading. Criticism welcome.

I finally wrote something! And then do it again, Teen Wolf, Derek/Kate, Derek/Stiles. For a prompt by andthedamned on Tumblr, "Derek/Stiles, dark!fic." I am dreadful at dark writing, so it's just sort of vaguely sad and melodramatic (in a Derek sort of way).

There are three comments on it; I have no idea how to respond to one of them. It begins, "So....this was a Sterek fic.....but NOT a Sterek fic?" Which-- yes? I suppose? That's why Kate/Derek wasn't listed as a background pairing? I suspect I should have been a bit more direct in what I was getting at.

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I also wrote something off-the-cuff on Tumblr, which was mostly just an excuse to write Derek desiring cuddles. Warning for something like slavery (werewolves kept as pets) in the context of an alternate universe (Stiles has been captured by a djinn and made to think he lives in that world). I am planning on expanding it at some point.

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At present, I am writing a Teen Wolf bigbang. The rough draft is due today. I have roughly 15K, which is the word requirement, with about 5K more to write. Luckily we're allowed to submit unfinished drafts, as long as they're over 10K or 80%. I'm worried about sending it in, since a) it's a hot mess, b) I am losing faith in the whole damned thing since there's an OFC and it's all paced weirdly and goddamn it, and c) it's unfinished. But oh well! Oh well, I say! Hopefully the artist who picks it up will be a forgiving sort.

I'm also writing a short story about Sidney Crosby's draft day (with bonus blowjob, heyo). It's going all right, although I'm lost in a morass of articles and primers, trying to get the feel of it and the relationship between the two primary characters right. I really like the other guy, Jack Johnson-- he's a big earnest galoot, and it's fun to try to write someone like that. (He gets compared to and compares himself to Captain America, and it's not far off. Big earnest galoot! "Proud to be an American" autoplays on his blog! I really wish I were kidding!)

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Why is my hobby writing when both of my day jobs are writing? WHO MADE THIS DECISION?

Does anyone know the 80s TV show The Young Ones, and would be willing to read through a story? I have a friend who's writing a story for that fandom for Yuletide, and she'd like someone to do a quick read who is familiar with the canon. Comments are screened so you can leave your email.

There is an intern at my part time job. He has been assigned to the cubicle next to mine. He belches quietly but with great vibrato approximately every fifteen minutes. He slurps his tea (probably the source of the belching! quit aspirating your liquids!). He occasionally breaks into reedy-voiced singing. Also he has a lot of loud telephone conversations about how he doesn't have access to his data. I daydreamed today about throttling him. Just a little bit! A touch of throttling! I wouldn't even bruise him. It's just, I have this itch, you see, and the only cure would be his neck. Surely if it's for medical reasons, I could be forgiven?

On a more positive note: ( Stories I want to read.Collapse )

Today, while at work, I planned my trip to Washington D.C. I also researched jello wrestling opportunities. There's lesbian jello wrestling in D.C., but it's not while I'm there -- I may have to make a second trip.

I really should start a jello wrestling tournament, that's what I'm thinking. It'd be like a poetry reading series, but with bikinis and jello. I almost said, "and no poetry," but two people grappling in gelatin is pure poetry, please don't front like it isn't.

(Oh man, wait, no, I'm going to have a really stoned guy stand ringside and read Wallace Stevens over a megaphone. Now that is pure poetry.)

Speaking of pure poetry, I'm beginning to be fully and completely irritated by the lack of bedazzled light-up Converse shoes for adults. Today I started mocking up plans for making my own. I will also be making lace-on wings for said shoes, if it comes to that. Like this, but for an adult-sized pair of shoes. (Also I would make them in orange.)

Which is to say, any help to be offered on how to make light-up shoes and/or lace-on wings will be gladly accepted. I already know how to wield a bedazzler, so no help needed there. I was in NSync fandom, son.

Today I have also read all about the Oilers draft situation, because it brings untold hilarity. I'm kind of hoping they take Yakupov, mostly because I think he would fit in on the failboat. The other prospects don't horrify me, though. Of course, it's entirely possible that they're going to pick a violently drunk guy in a chicken suit, though, because Oilers management is the weirdest bucket of doofuses you'll ever meet.

The Edmonton Journal has a nice rundown of the Murray vs. Yakupov draft debate here, if you're interested, which you're not. (It's either Ryan Murray or Nail Yakupov, it seems. Yakupov gives the fewest fucks of anyone ever, though, which is why I like him best.)

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I also typed up the following! It is (quasi) serious, but brief. Mostly I am getting this out of my system, because yesterday I found myself ranting about it while cutting up vegetables, and my veggies don't need to hear that. ( About fanfiction, and warnings.Collapse )

Things that I have not yet done at work: any work. Whoops! I should go attempt that, maybe. Or should I buy a bowtie? DECISIONS.

That is a Jordan Eberle, a hockey player for the Edmonton Oilers. Apparently he is practicing moves from Cirque de Soleil. ALSO HE IS WEARING A SPANDEX ONESIE.

Thank you to slashpile for the link. Nuge is also in a onesie at that link. There is also a video, if you would like to choke on your own spittle. More pictures here, too.

I won't lie, I had to go sit in the bathroom and breathe quietly for a minute after I saw that.

I've been thinking about a dream I had a few days ago. Here is what the text below the cut contains: references to pornography, relatively-bloodless but still-disturbing mutilation of a corpse, grossness.

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To reassure you:
Last night I dreamed about Care Bears that were punching things and then the things turned purple and then I had a raygun and then I made out with someone who looked weirdly like Lady Gaga but was not.

Unrelated hockey fandom stuff:
spinfrog has been posting links to hockey videos and stuff lately, which makes me wriggle with joy. Here is a video where Kaner scores a goal and then jumps into Duncan Keith's Patrick Sharp's arms. [Edit: Also you have probably seen this already, but Patrick Burke and some other hockey dudes are not down with homophobia and it's adorable.]

I'm at a writing retreat for my dissertation this week. I have been pretty good thus far, but later I am probably going to keep working on Sid/Geno bruiseplay fic like a creeper. It's supposed to be commentfic, but it's already a thousand words and it's mostly just Sidney being asexual and then having issues. I don't know why I'm telling you this, I just really like thinking about Sidney Crosby being all conflicted about his not-quite-asexuality.

Also seriously someone write me a long story about Hall and Eberle and RNH playing gay chicken until it's just a sexpile. Or I'll cry. Thank you. [Edit: I keep seeing this when I read my friendslist -- because none of you are posting because you hate me -- and each time I think "NO SERIOUSLY SOMEONE OUGHTA WRITE THAT." God, it would be amazing. Just the thought of the awkwardness makes me laugh like a drain.]

Recommended:
pearl_o linked to this amazing X-Men: First Class kink prompt fill, where Charles and Erik jerk off next to each other and then have feelings and also underage (age sixteen) sex. Highly recommended, if you're into that sort of thing.