-- Oh, daylight savings. How you completely eff me up. No kidding, I have gone to sleep at 9 or 10 twice this week. Me, the nightowl, who will happily work until 2am. Something about it getting dark so early just makes me want to eat dinner and sleep.

-- As far as Nox goes, with the appetite stimulant, he has been eating, but will only touch dry food. This is fine for now, but in the long run, I want to get him back on wet food. Boy cats and a diet of only dry don't mesh very well. Two vets have given us the diagnosis of "huh" as far as he is concerned, after 2 blood tests, 2 ultrasounds, and an x-ray. So it's treating the symptoms and seeing how he does there. My main goal is getting him in the habit of eating again, re-training his brain to see food as good stuff.

-- Olive hates that Nox has been getting so much attention and has been extra bossy and extra clingy. We bought some Feliway to help him relax, and it had the complete opposite reaction on her for a few days. She became a surly, hissing demon at everyone in the household. I am reminded of what the Pax did to a small portion of the population...

-- To console me on a particularly rough night, tamnonlinear brought over a terribad 1960's filmed version of the Ballad of Tam Lin, starring Ava Gardner and Ian McShane (as a young stud who had not yet grown into his teeth). It was... innnnnnnnnnnteresting. Better with herbal enhancement.

-- Anxiety sucks. There's just no other way to put it. This time of year is hard for me without any kind of triggers, but add in a major illness for one of my furkids, and it meant periodic crying jags to the point where I actually ran out of tears and started dry-crying. It's exhausting. Hence the herbal enhancement.

-- Work is... okay, I suppose. I delivered a 72 pc wholesale order to a well-known resort this week, and the gift shop manager is thrilled. I'm hoping that maybe that opens some doors. Wholesale may not be quite as lucrative as retail, but it's guaranteed money, which is excellent in the slow months. I'm also keeping my eye on a few vending days for the holiday season. Which-- I'm already way, way late getting started on holiday things. But I'm just not feeling it this year. Maybe it's the Christmas creep that started in fucking September, but I have very little inspiration. I'll be repeating some of my traditional pieces and bestsellers, but for other things, my motivation's a little shot. The remainder of this week is about finishing custom work up, and then I want to scrabble a small holiday update together by the first week of December. Which is late, but, I can't help it. I had an incredibly busy Autumn season, both professionally and personally. Maybe I just need to experiment.

-- I really have to do a Disney post.

-- My sister had her baby shower. And her husband got out of prison just in time to come, isn't that nice? God bless my family. We all smiled tightly and got through it with lots of raised eyebrows and euphemisms.

-- I did host my other, youngest sister for a sleepover last week. She's doing great. Doing college, about to start the process to become an EMT. So it balances, I guess.

-- This icon, by the by, is from a picture twelvepetals shot for her portfolio a few weekends back. I'll be posting some full-sizes soonish. In the meanwhile, you can go like Vasilion Photography on Facebook.

-- I'm volunteering at FaerieCon this weekend. Vending fees were stupidly high, so I opted out, but I still wanted to be involved. I'll be manning the merch table on Friday for a shift, and then helping artists execute their Faerie Academy workshops all afternoon on Saturday. Probably doing the Bad Faeries Ball.

-- My self-care time has been consumed with reading. I read Seanan McGuire-as-Mira Grant's Feed, which I wholeheartedly recommend for those who like thrillers. I am not as happy about the second book in the trilogy, Deadline. ( SPOILERS!Collapse ) Anyway, I'll finish up with Blackout for the sake of completeness. I'll leave you with a final word of advice: don't read the alternative ending to Feed unless you want to depress yourself into a black hole. Plus, it's just not as good as the published one.

So. I have been trying to get through Sunshine by Robin McKinley for what seems like millenia. It is a book that for all intents and purposes, I should like. It's got a sort of AU-world, it's got vampires and supernatural creatures, and it's got a protagonist that I started off really liking. More than one review has favorably compared it to Buffy.

( But it's starting to annoy the hell out of me. Not really spoilery, but...Collapse )

Also, in a quick googlesearch, I found that McKinley is one of those authors who gets upset about fanfic, mostly because she thinks it's lazy (HAHAHAHA) to use someone else's world beyond a private workshop exercise. LADY, LOOK. You have several books based on myth and legend and fairytales that someone else wrote. In particular, 'Beauty and the Beast' can be traced back to its formative versions. PLEASE do put a lid on your hypocrisy. I don't know why opposition to fanfic is something that just IRKS me about particular writers-- I have written some, and enjoy reading it from time to time, but I agree that it should always be a labor-of-love, not-for-profit thing. But when an author-- particularly one who has basically written fanfic retellings herself and published it for profit (see also: Rice, Anne and her bible fanfic) starts getting all "NOT MY WORLD, NOSIREE," it's just stupid and sad.

I'm going to finish this book because I am one of those people that compulsively feels the need to finish books if I've passed the halfway point. I just needed to vent my spleen a little before I could pick up that damn book again, as if talking about my irritation will somehow lessen it. (I'll get back to you on that.)

Work: I estimate that the next update will be sometime around the end of next week. January was custom orders galore, lots of repair orders (for local people; I've been getting a lot of referrals through Terra Firma & Pikesville Jewelers for tricky repairs on vintage jewelry. Some true head-scratchers in the bunch, but I think of it like a puzzle), and then sporadically fighting insane burnout and fatigue in order to work on my own collection. While shoe-horning trunk show prep in there in my spare time. So while you might assume I was taking a break because there was no January update, I have actually been quite busy. I have done 30 wings in the last 2 days!



Dancing: Verve will be performing at the Serenity Speakeasy event in DC on Feb 24th. Very exciting. While the theme is a bit challenging to translate into our flavor of bellydance (even for a Browncoat like me!), Flissy & I are working on something fun and elegant. We plan to make Inara proud. Transcendence is getting together our performance for Art of the Belly in March, and then we launch into Spoutwood Faerie Fest prep. After a very warm reception last year, we will be reprising "The Fairy Ring Dance Collective" and doing two stage shows and one 'wandering' show. It sounds very much like the Spoutwood folk are very happy to have us back. Makes me all glowy inside.

Makeup: I went ahead and picked up the Stila Convertible Color in Gerbera after my last post. It's love! It's the perfect sheer coral for my cheeks, sans sparkle or glimmer. It gives a nice, buildable flush without looking too 'done.' I also shelled out for NARS Tzigane & Christina lipsticks, but they have not yet arrived. The Transcendence ladies have also been raving about Lipstick Queen, so 2012 may in fact be the year in which I embrace lipstick for occurrences other than photoshoots.

Books & Reading: I have been trying to eke out a little time for reading lately. Mostly silly, light reading because right now does not seem to be the right time for me to take on heavy, complicated things. My two most recent were The White Cat by Holly Black, & Nine Rules To Break When Romancing A Rake by Sarah McLean.

The White Cat was interesting as far as world-building goes-- loved the sort of alternate-history that the story springs from. In the novel, Curse Workers are basically people with psychic gifts who can work magic. Society knows about them and has banned them-- everyone wears gloves to prevent being worked-- but a black market of Curse Working still thrives. Black's definition of "heebiejeebies" is nothing short of brilliant. I was less than enthralled with the story itself, though. I guessed the 'twist' about two chapters in, so it felt like a chore to wait for all the rest of the characters to get with it. That and... well, I didn't really like any of the characters all that much. Cassel is clever, and that is fun to read, but while no character is a stock character, few others sparked any interest in me. And the ending was way overcomplicated and lacked a real emotional connection to the rest of the story, IMO. Am contemplating reading the other two books in the trilogy for the worldbuilding stuff, but haven't felt terribly compelled.

Nine Rules... is a fairly well-written romance novel set in Jane Austenland. The characters are funny and well-realized for romance novel characters, the history is pretty decent despite a few anachronisms, and overall the book doesn't take itself seriously, but it also cares about being a good read. It centers on Callie Hartwell, a spinster at 28, who decides one day that having a spotless reputation isn't really all that it's cracked up to be, so she writes a bucket list of naughty things Regency ladies should not do, and decides to have some fun for a change. Naturally, after trying one item on the list (drinking scotch), she ends up on the doorstep of the dude she's been crushing on for ten years. Zaniness ensues. I have a couple of chapters left-- towards the middle of the book, it becomes increasingly clear that many of the items on the list just serve to bring the two main characters together for sexytimes, but considering it's hitting a lot of my ravishment fantasy buttons, I'm not complaining. Terrible euphemisms score: 5/10. Super cheesy nickname alert. Also, there's a lot of "her sex" instead of more explicit terms for genitalia, and I actually laughed aloud at "sweet rain," but overall, it could be so, so much worse. There are two more books in this series and unless there's a big downshift in the writing, I'll probably read them. I have a tendency to consume words wantonly.

Movies: So I saw the Guillermo Del Toro written & produced movie, Don't Be Afraid of the Dark last night. GENUINELY CREEPY, OMG. I can't believe it got such low ratings. The sets are full of little easter-eggs-- "Be Afraid" written over creepy grates in runic code, tons of Pan's Labyrinth artistic touches. It's Del Toro's dark fairytale aesthetic, through and through. As you might expect, all quickly turns to horror. It's not nearly as disturbing as Pan's Labyrinth (Thank god! That movie scared the bejeesus outta me!), but was very effective nonetheless.

Stuff & Things: It has been a tough week. In the last month, most of my posts have been either under lock or filter. Things have been heavy with regards to birthfamily goings-on. I'm okay and things are going to be okay, but it's been a lot of anxiety and processing nonetheless. Thank you, f-list/filter people for your comments on my most recent locked entries. I know I've been bad about commenting back, but I have a finite & limited amount of emotional energy right now. I just wanted to say thank you, very, very much for listening.

Feeling strangely unfocused today, despite a lot of work laid out ahead of me. I have to get it together. Focus.

NYE was a quiet one. We did shrimp, fancy cheeses, and miracle fruit tablets (which made me want to sample everything in my fridge). We watched Inception for the first time, which I liked and was just drunk enough so that it made perfect sense. Saw the wrong side of noon the day after, thankfully sans hangover, then worked. We also saw The Expendables, which is a movie about where old action heroes go to die... and when did Sylvester Stallone morph into a caricature of a bulldog and a mentally-deficient cat? Anyhow. There was Jason Statham, at least. Saving grace. Well, I wouldn't say 'saving.' There were two female characters in the entire shebang, and they existed solely to get smacked around by the Bad Guys. Groundbreaking.

In keeping with my resolution to read more, I have been reading. But shocking to me: I've been reading fanfic. I haven't read much fic at all since my BTVS fandom days around the beginning of this journal. But seriously, the end of Mockingjay had me searching out The Hunger Games fanfic in the worst way. Anything to wash the taste of that book out of my mouth and flesh out all the promising characters who were deeply disserviced.

Here are my Hunger Games recs thus far:

( Hunger Games Fic Recs.Collapse )

1. Dearest mother, calling me at 6:40am to wish me a happy birthday is nuts. I had no idea what day it was when I groggily answered the phone, because I figured if you were calling me so early, something must be wrong. Also, you woke up my cats.

2. The Fantasy Bath fall scents are up! I am buying the 2lb bulk size of Cinderella, and Belladonna looks delish.

3. Jason gave me a big squishy bathrobe for my birthday. It's a light green color that makes me crave mint chocolate chip ice cream. I feel sort of like a fashionable abominable snowman. But I'm squishy like a marshmallow!

4. ( Spoilery review of The Forest of Hands and TeethCollapse )

5. No word on Mim's family. We're quasi attached now but will still let her go to the right family. She is freakin' DARLING, though. The three kitties are all getting along well and snugglecuddling in harmony. Also, look at how she sleeps:



6. Sylvan leaves in another Etsy treasury! ETA: Here's another!( Screencaps!Collapse )

7. BPAL reviews:

Pomona:: Started out with a very punchy sweetened nuts note, like hazelnut. Of which I'm not so much of a fan. Luckily, that died off really quickly and gave way to a warm, delicious scent of apples and pomegranate with some spicy mulberry in the background. Delicious. Moderate throw. However, it only lasted about 2 hrs.

Mircalla:: Mostly red musk and clove. After wearing it for about an hour, there's not a whole lot of vanilla or patchouli in there. It's dryer than I expected it to be after first sniff. I don't like it as much as Mme. Moriarity or Snake Oil for his reason and will probably swap it.

It's that curious time of year right between Beltane and Litha where it's bright and sunny and green and the entire Northern hemisphere is awake and active and, uh, horny. I miss my little stream in Pikesville where I'd wander into the woods and soak my feet and just relax. There's very little water to speak of here, and we plan to hike tomorrow either in the Sandias or up by Santa Fe-- there might be a waterfall involved? Anyway, at the end of June, I'll be in North Carolina and there will be an ocean and a big beach, and maybe even bonfires. I am really, really looking forward to that.

GRAH. I thought I'd be home for MD Faerie Fest (which is this weekend), but apparently not. I cannot wait for Faire season, y'all. I am seriously already having dreams about it. Tuesday, I dreamt that it was opening weekend and the Baebes were playing and I showed up and they'd completely moved the festival. It was in fact being held in Latrobe Park in South Baltimore, and when I finally got there I missed the music because I wasn't in garb yet. It was very sad.

I'd really like to just pay the faire the $100 and get married at the chapel there. My mom offered me a $1,500 bribe for not coming out to see me as planned, under the auspices of "going towards the wedding," and that'd cover a Faire wedding with a tidy chunk towards a honeymoon to boot. I could wear fancy BD clothes, he could wear his kilt, I wouldn't really have to worry about a guest list or a sit down dinner or formalities... Alas, Jason wants a tux or some such nonsense. Can I just say how much I don't want to do the whole white wedding thing? I mean, we talked it over and that seems pretty unlikely, but I want a big fun outdoor shindig thing with whacky hijinks that's only very marginally a wedding in that there are vows and rings. Plus cake. And garb makes me feel pretty. Ah well, we shall see. We're still talking timeframe, too. I'd like October 'cause a) I've always wanted an autumn wedding and b) our birthdays are in September. But with this job in NM being hella stressful, we've barely been able to talk planning. The only thing we've decided is that we'll likely use a UU officiant or ordained Pagan friend to have vague, nondenominational references made to a Creator of some sort. In any case, if we do pick a weekend in October, Aster and I have vowed to talk first so we don't do something stupid like get married on the same weekend.

Also, I'm starting to look for books to read on the way home... I read Palimpsest on the way here, and that worked because it was thoroughly engrossing, but I think I want some lighter reading on the way home. I've had twinges to pick my YA novel back up recently, and so I'm thinking a metaphysical YA series. LJS fen: before you suggest: no, I have not read Nightfall nor do I have any plans to do so in the immediate future. I'm holding on to those cherished characters from my childhood for just a little bit longer before they get total lobotomies. I was thinking maybe Cate Tiernan's Sweep series... I read a few in college and they weren't bad. Sort of a fictionalized version of Wicca. Opinions on how the story turns out (non-spoilery, of course), or her other series, Balefire? Or other suggestions in general?

Palimpsest, by Catherynne M. Valente

The book says:

Between life and death, dreaming and waking, at the train stop beyond the end of the world is the city of Palimpsest. To get there is a miracle, a mystery, a gift, and a curse—a voyage permitted only to those who’ve always believed there’s another world than the one that meets the eye. Those fated to make the passage are marked forever by a map of that wondrous city tattooed on their flesh after a single orgasmic night. To this kingdom of ghost trains, lion-priests, living kanji, and cream-filled canals come four travelers: Oleg, a New York locksmith; the beekeeper November; Ludovico, a binder of rare books; and a young Japanese woman named Sei. They’ve each lost something important—a wife, a lover, a sister, a direction in life—and what they will find in Palimpsest is more than they could ever imagine.

( My review-- general spoilers, but nothing too specific.Collapse )

Anyway, I heartily recommend this book. The problems I had with it were vastly outnumbered by the times I sighed, "that is lovely." It's stayed in my belly, in my mouth like rich chocolate. There is much room here for a fandom, too-- she's created a gorgeous world for others to expand upon in their own daydreams. I would love to read Palimpsest fanfic, or another volume about the city.

I was also inspired to do some jewelry-- I'd like to start with the central Quarto. I've definite ideas for Oleg and November. It'll be awhile until I have all the right components assembled. We'll see.

Linked by wickercabra: pats_quinade describes the dangers of reading Laurell K. Hamilton.

Considering I just finished reading A Caress of Twilight, which, as far as I am concerned, should be shelved as "comedy/humor", I laughed out loud. reedrover, I am officially ready to switch to the third book. :)

In other news, Flissy and I got through the hafla, and everybody seemed pleased with our performance. I'm coming down off the adrenaline high with tea and candy-cane Trader Joe's Oreos. Mmmmm.

Virgo:: It's time to take down the "Under Construction" signs and clean up the messes from your works in progress. At least for now, your heart has lost its drive for further renovation and rehabilitation. Whether you think you're ready or not, then, it's time for a grand re-opening. I suggest you offer free toasters or other incentives to pull in new clients, as well as to coax disaffected old ones into returning. It may also help to put up an "Under New Management" sign.

Well, I agree and I disagree. I still do have a drive for further renovation and rehabilitation in general-- simply no longer in a specific arena. I have told Skyler that I do not desire to have a friendship with him for the time being. I need to take time to work on myself in a way that does not include him, both because our behavior of late has been inconsistent, imbalanced, and hurtful, and because I need to break the habit of looking to him for sensitivity and support until my feelings for him have changed. The conversation went well-- it was friendly and respectful, and left the door open for building a friendship in the future after we have both worked on things in ourselves that cause pain to one another.

So, in that case, my heart very much is under new management, and I will continue to renovate myself so that I can be the best that I can be-- it's not the easy route, but it will hopefully attract wonderful potential partners who can appreciate me as I deserve to be appreciated, and who will work as hard as I am willing to in order to have a fulfilling relationship. I'm working on getting my priorities straight about things I want in a partner so that when the time comes, I'll know what I'm looking for. I mean, I'm not worried. In the scheme of things, I've been single for... something like two months in the last five years. I'm not exactly worried that I'll die old, alone, and eaten by cats (though if that's your thing, more power to ya). But I am very clear that I'm not going to punk out and use someone else as a band-aid for things that I know I need to work on, and after all, I can only change myself.

In other news, I tried Vosges' Cocoa Bianca, and it is absolutely to die for.

Lemon myrtle, indigenous to the Aboriginal people of Australia, is a refreshing flavor hinting at lemongrass and Kaffir lime leaves. Lavender flowers bring a bouquet of floral fragrance reminiscent of the fields in Provence, France. Madagascar vanilla bean from the African coast is an alluring herb with a hypnotic aroma. Try it before bedtime; white chocolate is free of caffeine.

I was worried about the white chocolate being too sweet for me, but the lemon myrtle is really great. It did have an overall comforting and restorative property to it, and I think it was well worth the price for a luxury treat.

Also, I took a nice currant-scented bath last night and began 'The Lost Domain' section in Saffron and Brimstone by Elizabeth Hand. Perhaps it's where I find myself at this point in my life, but "Calypso in Berlin" is some of the finest writing I've ever read by her. It resonated very deeply and featured some of the most stirring imagery I've seen in some time. I'm going to continue with 'Echo,' but I may read it again first to truly savor the prose.

Overall-- things in my world are challenging at present. But I've got good friends, and I've got strength. I'm getting back on my feet, and soon, I'll be better than ever.