So, I've been thinking about conversations about social justice. Meta-commentary about them, actually. Having a conversation about the conversation.
Because let me tell you what I have noticed when there is a conversation about social justice going on: 9 times out of 10, the bulk of the comments on any given post are people dealing with someone who is derailing.
You know the type.
( Let the derailing begin!Collapse )
( And then the conversation stops.Collapse )
So, new policy.
In this journal:
-If your comments are turning a significant part of the conversation away from the topic at hand and onto you and your (usually privileged) feelings and opinions,
-If you just can't help yourself from pulling out that "Devil's Advocate" bullshit,
-If you insinuate the conversation is not worth having, or
-If you routinely use the tactic of mischaracterizing the things being said to you...
...it will be pointed out to you. Don't go into defensive mode and start 'splainin. Take a chill pill, read some links about this kind of behavior. Get past the knee-jerk butthurt and think about what someone is telling you about what you just said. Think about whether or not you are denying someone else's lived life experience with what you just said. Realize that that's a sucky thing to do and don't do it again. You failed. You'll probably fail again sometime. But at least you'll fail better next time. It's a process.
If the derailing persists, you'll be put in time out. You know, like a toddler.
I'm sorry, but I am no longer willing to have important conversations suffer and go off the rails because there's always one person who has a chronic case of "ME! ME! ME! This conversation should be about ME!" Again, you know... like a toddler.
Bottom line: if you're going to enter a conversation wherein you are the privileged party (and sometimes even when you're not), you are going to be challenged. You've been marinating in that privilege your whole life, which is not your fault, but which has definitely shaped your worldview. Challenging that worldview hurts and is difficult and yes, you will put your foot in your mouth and unintentionally say -ist stuff. You might even get yelled at by a bunch of people you've hurt.
But if you can't deal with that and move on-- don't enter the conversation. If you want to change the topic of conversation to how Your Privileged Feelings are being "silenced" and your subsequent moral outrage?-- don't enter the conversation. There are plenty of other places to discuss Your Privileged Feelings. Go there. Shout it from the hilltops and no one can stop you. But your "freedom of speech" does not extend to derailing important conversations in this journal.
Discussions here require Big Kid Pants.
Think you can manage? We'd love to hear from you.
Because let me tell you what I have noticed when there is a conversation about social justice going on: 9 times out of 10, the bulk of the comments on any given post are people dealing with someone who is derailing.
You know the type.
( Let the derailing begin!Collapse )
( And then the conversation stops.Collapse )
So, new policy.
In this journal:
-If your comments are turning a significant part of the conversation away from the topic at hand and onto you and your (usually privileged) feelings and opinions,
-If you just can't help yourself from pulling out that "Devil's Advocate" bullshit,
-If you insinuate the conversation is not worth having, or
-If you routinely use the tactic of mischaracterizing the things being said to you...
...it will be pointed out to you. Don't go into defensive mode and start 'splainin. Take a chill pill, read some links about this kind of behavior. Get past the knee-jerk butthurt and think about what someone is telling you about what you just said. Think about whether or not you are denying someone else's lived life experience with what you just said. Realize that that's a sucky thing to do and don't do it again. You failed. You'll probably fail again sometime. But at least you'll fail better next time. It's a process.
If the derailing persists, you'll be put in time out. You know, like a toddler.
I'm sorry, but I am no longer willing to have important conversations suffer and go off the rails because there's always one person who has a chronic case of "ME! ME! ME! This conversation should be about ME!" Again, you know... like a toddler.
Bottom line: if you're going to enter a conversation wherein you are the privileged party (and sometimes even when you're not), you are going to be challenged. You've been marinating in that privilege your whole life, which is not your fault, but which has definitely shaped your worldview. Challenging that worldview hurts and is difficult and yes, you will put your foot in your mouth and unintentionally say -ist stuff. You might even get yelled at by a bunch of people you've hurt.
But if you can't deal with that and move on-- don't enter the conversation. If you want to change the topic of conversation to how Your Privileged Feelings are being "silenced" and your subsequent moral outrage?-- don't enter the conversation. There are plenty of other places to discuss Your Privileged Feelings. Go there. Shout it from the hilltops and no one can stop you. But your "freedom of speech" does not extend to derailing important conversations in this journal.
Discussions here require Big Kid Pants.
Think you can manage? We'd love to hear from you.
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