My parents are dumb, Part 1.

I came home this weekend, and as I peeked my head in my mother's room to tell her that I was home, she cheerfully told me she'd fed my fish while I was gone. Uh, okay. They didn't need to be fed, but she'd fed them before, so I figured that was fine.

I woke up the next morning and peeked in on my two remaining boys, Sasha and Sashimi. They both looked pregnant. Their bellies were full to the point where it looked like they were gonna burst. And poor Sasha was having the damnedest time getting to the surface for air. Little pellets were scattered all over the bottom.

After I spent fifteen minutes sucking them up with a turkey baster and putting Sasha in a hanging compartment so he was only 4" from the top, I asked my mother just how much she'd fed them.

"Oh, I just sprinkled the pellets across the top."

"Mom. You've fed them a million times. They only get three or four pellets a day. Their stomachs are the size of their eyes!"

"Oh, well I didn't know that."

*facepalm*

My parents are dumb, Part 2.

I share a bathroom with my brother. My brother is a pig. I only use the bathroom for quick showers and, uh, the obvious things. Adrian, my stepfather, is OCD, and he decided he was going to clean yesterday.

Now, I keep all of my stuff in a hanging bath caddy. Two shampoos, two conditioners, one soap, one exfoliating soap, a few shower gels, my razor. I went to take a shower last night. I reached for my shampoo. No shampoo.

I looked around. Both of my shampoos were missing. My tub of LUSH's BIG was gone. Ocean Salt, too. My brand new exfoliating soap from feMaledictions was gone. I went downstairs and ask why my stuff had vanished.

"It was covered in mold," he said. I blinked.

"Um. No. Those were herbs and sea salt."

So. I guess I need to order more shampoo. I think I'll wait until after I move. I swear, I can't have nice things. If my sister doesn't steal them, Adrian throws them away.

*facepalm*



Two more weeks until I move out. Two more weeks until I move out. Two more weeks...

I pet you. I give you my money. I adore you dearly.

Now, for the love of Frank, send me my comment notifications so I don't get 62 of them all at once on March 24, 2007.

Love,
Christina

Virgo:: In the coming week, don't eat in restaurants that serve food you hate, and don't try to operate heavy machinery while you're reading a book. Sleep on a nice, soft mattress, not on a piece of plywood covered with nails. Praise and listen to the people you care about, and resist any urge you might have to call them stupid and ugly. Spend money on experiences that make you feel good, not on absurd games that would exhaust you even if you won. It may sound like I'm telling you what you already know, Virgo, but I'm doing that because the astrological omens suggest you may be tempted to violate or override your own common sense in the coming week. I'm just giving you practice in remembering all the basics.

Common sense, as in buying Christmas gifts instead of BPAL? Hmm? Because there was an update this morning to the Black Phoenix Trading Post this morning. Aside from the Skeletal Librarian tee which will be mine after Christmas, check out the Naughty or Nice Tees. I plead my case for naughty, in the hopes of getting Snowblind, since the prototype is already legendary. Gotta say, though, that I'm going to have to hunt down some Fée, because I love every single note in that blend.

( Thoughts on the six new LEs.Collapse )

Love to Beth and the labbies, 'cuz this is the coolest thing ever.

Also:: If you're doing the LJ Secret Santa Meme, don't forget to drop me a line. I'm placing holiday orders in the next two weeks, so I need to know who's playing so I can grant a few wishes.