I'm not back. Not really. I just wanted to take some time to talk to myself.

My self-esteem issues have to be dealt with, and soon. I need to stop holding myself to others' standards, wether those standards are merely perceived or blatantly stated.

( Read more...Collapse )

So. What to do? First and foremost, I'm going to start picking myself up. It's going to be hard, but it needs to happen. I'm going to write out my own standards for myself, because those are the standards that matter. I'm going to rely on my remaining supports until my head is clear. If, by October 11th, when my driver's ed classes end, I don't feel significantly better, I'm going to start seeing a therapist. I just can't keep going on in this weakened state, not when I know that it's not who I really am. It's a hurdle, an obstacle, and I will overcome it. It will just take time and dedication.

Dear self: To quote Cordelia Chase, "whatever is causing the Joan Collins 'tude, deal with it. Embrace the pain, spank your inner moppet, whatever, but get over it."

You're the girl in the short skirt and the long jacket, damn it. You need to remember that. Slayer, comma the.