It's almost summer!!!!! Just a week I'll be in montauk with my lover and my bestfriends having a glorious time. This weekend Michelle came and visited and we went shopping in soho and got some stuff and saw the movie gatsby, ahh leo is still very handsome even though he's getting older. It was alright the movie. I was home for Mother's Day where I didn't really hangout with my mom that much cause she is with he new boyfriend cary. I mean I'm actually very happy that my mom is happy, my brother on the hand wants nothing to do with my mom and dating. He doesn't want to hear it, see it or accept it. He's very jealous, it's hard for him. He's gotta get used to it though I mean my mom doesn't want to end up alone and I don't blame her. We will see how things go though. I literally think something's wrong with my brother though he's so negative about everything and just kept fighting with me when I was trying to have a normal conversation with him. It kinda hurts when your own brother doesn't really care about you. I mean me and my brother were close I mean not very close but sometimes I feel like he's far away floating. Idk my family is so strange sometimes I really wish I was apart of a family like mat is with his. But no ones family is perfect. He'll especially not mine. Anyway I just have to finish this week and I'm home free! Summmmmmmmerrrr!!! I'm kinda falling into that laziness and still need to get shit done so I hope everything goes well.
Current Location:US, New York, New Hyde Park, Nassau, S 12th St, 143
So lets see I got all A's and two B's for my first grades of college which averaged out to a 3.6 I believe ;) yay meee! <33333 and I got a promotion at work I will now be a shift supervisor manager of starbucks YAYYYY!!! :) So im finaly home now from school, im relaxing, sleeping working, chilling, being with mat and stuff. I loved school and i cna't wait to go back. I love home to the only downfall right now is my mom strictness, I mean I'm 18 years old and I am still only allowed out till 11. like what is this? ugh whatever. Sometimes I feel like my mom doesnt care or isnt that proud of me of everything I have accomplished in the past year. I have accomplished more then I could have imagined, I have an awesome portfolio, I graduated, I started college, I got awesome grades while going to work and school, been saving money,got a raise, and getting a promotion at work. But I don't feel appreciated. My mom doesnt realize all the hard work and stress I put into this year to make this all happen for me. I feel like my roomate is the only one who understands I guess because she saw me slave away at work, and doing homework till 3 am. I think shes more proud of me then my mom is. which is sad :/. I'm very proud of myself, and I think im moving in the right direction in life. I feel very mature, and I think I have always been this way. I was born this way to be a grown up cause there was no else in the house to be it since my mom was at work and I had a brother to take care of. I think mat thinks im throwing my life away with careing so much about work and never having time to go on vacation and such. But the thing is its more of his wants then mine.I mean he's leaving me this summer for about 2 months or so I won't see him. and this next semester with his school scedhule and maybe work sschedule who knows if I'll be lucky to even see him on sunday :/. But im happy with my life, I think sometimes I have to remind myself that I am a teenager and I can go out and have fun. I guess i just dont have that opportunity alot any more since when I was in school, it was either work, homework, class or eating. plus with my mom being as strict as she is who knows if she would let me go. and mat gets all frustrated when I tell him this but he doesnt seem to udnerstand i guess my point of view of it all. I mean he's setting aside his vacation and is leaving me, im not gonna see him at all which idk if i can handle that for so long. :/ I can se an entry popping up wtih depression blahh. but I respect his wishes I just wish I could go too, ad he wants me to go with him but i can't this summer cause im working and i'll prob be working next summer too. plus hes more overly prepared for this and im just not. thats the one trait of his we clash on which is his adventure side, when im more of a stay at home kind of girl i guess, i mean I like to adventure too but it just doesnt fit into my schedule. idk :/ i mean it just doesnt feel as important as everything else I have going on. I feel like one day I will be young and successful and then I'll be able to do whatever I want but he doesnt see it that way. idk I guess we will just see how things play out. my new years was boring, I was home, then i went ot julies, and hungout and then went home lol. I miss mat :/ and I miss my friends :/ I would like to hangout with everyone again befor we are all gon our seperate ways for the next semester hopefully. I mean im working but i have days off. like I have thursday and friday off this week and who knows what im gonna do. and i feel sexually frustrated cause i havent had any intimatcy with mat latly either cause his family has been around and then i got my period and blahhhhhhh. anyway I know that in this life that I live in I'm destined for great things to happen and I'm very ambitious and want to try everything i can. I just hope one day I can look back and say i did the right things.
Welll, what did I discover in these past few days well, my check motor light went on just the other day, which is GREAT! so i went to jiffy lube in riverhead to get all my fluids changed, so i can just start over with it and treat the car better then the person before me treated it and it was funny because I found out my friend codi actually works there, so he gave me a good deal and helped me out right away. Then they checked out why the heck that light went on and scanned my car for the problem, it seems my cadillic converter is clogged which isnt good, I don't really know exactly what it is, it controls somethign with the fumes in the motor, but it can eventually cause my car to stall which isnt safe for me driving, so I have to get that fixxed asap. So my mom called the place where I had bought my car and of course this probelm isnt under my warrenty so they said they would fix it but my mom has pay but hopefully at a cheaper price then she would at a mechanic shop. So I have to drop my car off on saturday :( which I don' want to drop it off because then I can't drive to school on monday and possibly tuesday and I was soooo looking forward to finally being able to drive to school blah of course I have to wait ;/ but hopefully I am able to pick it up on monday so tuesday I can drive ;) hehe. I also this week drove to tanger with julie my neighbor to look for jobs. I applied at aerie, coach and starbucks but they arent looking for people till like apirl so i have to wait and I asked alot of other places to but they either werent accpeting stuff until apirl or just werent looking at the momment for people soo hopefully if i wait it out a month someone is bound to call me. but im gonna keep looking in meantime. I also drove bill to work and back one day, and to the bank. I got around a bit which was nice and dropped my brother at his friends house. I love my car actually, i fund out its got remote start to it and custom speakers. it drives nice and idk, im just actually really happy with it. I'm just hoping its gonna last me, and the way things are going it doesnt seem like it so much so far. and I also havent driven at night yet, i really have tooo soon, cause its not good that i havent done that yet. anyway nothing much really has been going on besides that, me and mat are just getting better and better with each day, and im so glad and thankful to have him in my life because idk what i would be doing without him. prom is coming soon, sort of haha, well people have already been getting there dresses and stuff I have to do that!
^^^ that was from a few days ago i never posted aha
