sharon_hate

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-Ben Harmon, World's Worst Psychiatrist
-I THINK YOU'RE WEAK
-a creepy boy who looks like he belongs in a Gus Van Sant movie
-GHOSTS RAEPING ERR'BODY
-quickly built gazebos
-burn-victims asking for cash to get some new headshots
-The Secret Life of Dentists
-Down Syndrome
-my main man zq (Zachary Quinto, thespian) making designer jack o lanterns n shit
-some other weird shit
-I think someone pops Kata Mara in the face.
-Connie Britton's lustrous lustrous hair
-chooching, the act of cryterbating
-pope box
-umm
-ghost christmas


AMERICAN HORROR STORY SEASON 1
NOW OUT ON DVD & BLU RAY

The Winchester Gospels (A SPN Famix)

TRACKLISTING
01. Exogenesis Symphony Part Two (Cross Pollination)//Muse
02. No, I Don't Remember//Anna Ternheim
03. Revenge//Danger Mouse & Sparkle Horse
04. Don't Get Lost In Heaven//Gorillaz
05. Demon Days//Gorillaz
06. Televators//The Mars Volta
07. We Are The Dead//David Bowie
08. Dull Life//Yeah Yeah Yeahs

OK HAHAHA.
I made this fanmix forever ago. Like before S5 ended, forever. Anyway-- click the link, you can listen to the whole album on 8 Tracks. You probably don't want to download it anyway because why would you? So six months from now, you can wonder why the hell there is a single Bon Iver track in your iTunes library? Exactly.

At work today, I came to the conclusion that "Misfits" really only works as a show, if you understand that it's a deconstruction of the superhero genre. Otherwise, it's just some dumb friggin show where Kelly fucks a gorilla.

Is that a spoiler?

More on this at a later date.

OK, SO--
Sookie can read minds. Human minds usually, and shifters sort of, too. But not vampires. They're dead, their brains are switched off (???), the end. Except that Sookie totally can hear vampire thoughts sometimes. AND IT'S A BIG ENOUGH DEAL THAT CHARLAINE (THE AUTHOR) FEELS THE NEED TO MENTION THIS AT THE BEGINNING OF EVERY BOOK.

I've been waiting for this gem~*~ to turn up on the show, and it hasn't so far. This leads me to believe it has been axed for being (what literary scholars refer to as) "totally fucking stupid."

This is a victory for coherent, definitively-not-stupid storylines everywhere! Hurrah!

Because aside from when it is offhandedly mentioned ("And oh yeah, I can hear vampires sometimes~"), it has never ever come up as an actual salient plot point. To me, this is like Charlaine randomly gifting Sookie the ability to breathe fire and then not bothering to work that into the story.

You see, Charlaine Harris does not plan ahead. The Sookie Stackhouse Mysteries started off as pulp novels pretty much, so I don't really fault her for not caring. I just find it incredibly offensive that, at this stage in the game, when it comes time to release a new book, she just plops her ass down and starts tap-tap-tapping away at the keyboard until she has enough pages to send to her editor. (A quick run through Spell Check, and then it's off to get published!)

(That is how it works for her, I am not kidding. This lady sits down, writes one draft, and sends that shit to get published. W. T. F.)

MY POINT IS THIS:
WILL THIS EVER ACTUALLY BE A PART OF THE STORY?? OR IS IT JUST SOME CRAZY THING CHARLAINE PULLED OUT OF HER ASS AND FORGOT ABOUT?

Watched "Generation Kill" for the second time yesterday. It was a much more leisurely affair than my first viewing. This is almost certainly attributed to the fact that I have Marine lingo down pat now, whereas before I had to shamefully download some guide to explain what "AO" meant. (Area of operations!)

I was also not as insanely tense. Maybe because I know what happens? I was able to appreciation the nuance~*~. Specifically, all the faces James Ransone makes. He is at least 35% of why this show is so great.

And okay, while I am now cool with coming across the occasional picture of Brad Actual or Nate Actual, I am still completely unable to watch any interviews. And it's unfortunate, because I'd really like to hear the actors talk about the characters and their experiences filming. I don't want to have to constantly be on the lookout for SURPRISE IT'S BRAD. Anywayyy-- done being a huge wuss for now.

AWESOME STUFF FOR YOU
-Brad, on the Walmart Wall of Heroes: "If my mother ever distributed my likeness without written authorization, I would disown her." I think I agree with one of the comments. They definitely cut out the best part, which was Trombley's clueless query, "Your dad was a truck driver?"

-When Ray catches Reporter staring at the luminescent Rudy, he proffers some advice. "You know, it doesn't make you gay if you think Rudy's hot. We all think he's hot," he explains. Ray turns and watches Rudy for a moment, and then declares, "Jesus, you're beautiful."

-FYI, running all zigzaggy is not a legitimate evasive tactic.

( AND HERE ARE SOME BEAUTIFUL GIFS FOR YOU. (AHAHA, ONLY LIKE 4 OF THEM BUT WHATEVS, IT WONT MESS UP YOUR BROWSER.)Collapse )


I think I will conclude my post with this; Hitman Two-One's inspiring rendition of "Teenage Dirtbag."

-Thank you, Ray.
-Thank you, Sergeant.

While the "Sookie Stackhouse" novels are incontrovertibly awful, some time around the latter half of Book 4 ("Dead To The World"), I gave up any of my previous attempts to stop reading. Is what I'm experiencing Literary Stockholm Syndrome? In order to survive, I needed to love my captor? I strongly suspect so.

Whatever the case may be, I'm currently finishing up Book 8 ("From Dead To Worse" -- Yes, all the books have titles like that.) and while overall, the series is starting to resemble a long-running HP chapter fic that's so far into its own universe it's hardly considered fanfiction anymore, the writing is not as egregiously bad as it once was. Dare I say it? It's something bordering on "bearable."

I would even go as far as to say I've found the greatest paragraph in the entire series.

I pinched my lips together, and I made myself nod. Calvin gave me a bracing look and took his place by the table. He put his hand on the concrete blocks. With no further ado, Maryelizabeth handed me the brick. The rest of the panthers waited patiently for me to perform the punishment. The vampires would have dressed this all up with a special wardrobe and probably an extraspecial fancy brick from an old temple or something, but not the panthers. It was just a damn brick. I held it with both hands gripping one long side.

Jesus Christ, Charlaine, for the first time in eight friggin books you actually managed to set a scene! I was actually in shock. I pushed myself away from my desk and staggered across the room like I had been shot in the gut.


HERE IS HOW I WOULD HAVE WRITTEN IT, THO~

STANDING AT THE HEAD OF THE CROWD, SOOKIE CAN'T HELP BUT STARE BACK INTO THEIR GNARLED COUNTRY FACES. IN THE BACKWOODS HAMLET THAT IS 'HOTSHOT', THERE IS NO GRASS -- ONLY DIRT, CHEAP PLASTIC LAWN FURNITURE AND THE DILAPIDATED HOVELS THESE UGLY HILLBILLIES CALL HOMES. SHE IS ABOUT TO SMASH A MAN'S HAND BECAUSE THAT'S HOW JUSTICE IS SERVED IN THIS MOTLEY COMMUNITY OF BELLIGERENT INBREDS. SHE FEELS LIKE VOMITING ONTO HER CHEAP PAYLESS SHOES.

So I should email that to her, right? I'm starting to think these are like RL Stine books, and her name is just stamped on the cover. I think I have a good shot, you guys! How much do ghost writers get paid?

So I've recently read the first three novels in the Sookie Stackhouse series, and holy shit. I think I am beginning to appreciate how hard the "True Blood" writing staff works.

It's like this: half their day is spent wading through the half-assed shit Charlaine Harris scratched onto the back of a Taco Bell bag, and the other half is spent figuring out a way to make it tolerable. Ex: Fellowship Of The Sun/Godric.

It was not a complete waste of time, however, as I have gained a deeper understanding of why shit on the show is happening the way it is. Lorena, for instance. I also now know why Tara's whole plotline is a mess, and that's because she's not supposed to be there. In the books, Sookie can run off and do whatever and no one worries because she doesn't have any friends. (Is that why Tara needs to be constantly occupied with something? Because if she wasn't, she'd tell Sookie to stop being a dumbass and not to hang out with vampires anymore, and she'd listen, end of series?)

Right now I'm trying to read the fourth book. And while its quality has improved slightly since the last, somehow the overall story has devolved. Amnesia! Witches! God speed, Alan Ball.

As you probably know, I am a huge fan of television. I don't watch television passively, and am quite serious about the entire medium as a whole. And so for the past few years, at any given time, I am working my way through a new series. This past week, I've been watching "Oz", the HBO prison-drama that ran from 1997-2003.

My consensus: it was OK.

Some good eps, some bad ones. A lot of really weird, random subplots that definitely could've been dropped. (See: the experimental drug trials, Cyril's puppet-induced schizophrenia, Rebadow winning the lottery, crazy nurse!, and way more that I can't think of right now.) I'm not a fan of including shit that has no effect on moving the A-plot forward or doesn't develop characters in any way. Overall, though, a good television-viewing experience. It's obvious how Tom Fontana and the crew paved the way for how legit hour-long dramas are done.

One big complaint: the series finale was pretty weak, though that's probably because it was not intended as a series finale, but just a season's end. A lot of new plots were started, some weird crap happened, and the audience was left to query, "So is he going to fuck that scary cross-dresser with the glass eye? I need to know!"

The most surprising thing about this whole "Oz"-experience, however, is which characters and plot lines I began looking forward to. Was it the gay prison romance? Was it the charming sociopath? No! It was Miguel Alvarez, the totally straight Latino thug!

I am off now, to download the film "Ken Park." There is an auto-erotic asphyxiation scene apparently.

I was just looking up military ranks on Wiki (because I know fuck-all about them), when I get to Gunnery Sergeant and right at the bottom it says, "Notable Gunnery Sergeants: blah blah blah Brad Colbert". BLERGHHHH~

RL, what are you doing here! Just get away from me, OK? This is no place for you.

I truly fear I'll never be able to fully embrace GK as a fandom. The tact and prudence I'd have to maintain is too much, I think. Is it possible for one to be a fan without being super creepy? I do not know.