shakeys

January - i fracture my ankle. spending the first 6 weeks on bed, crying and a lot of painkiller.
April - Spending haru's birthday in kinokuniya, buying one new book (because i'm broke with all the food delivery), and end the day with watching the sunset.
May - Start working again, but still remotely because actually i'm still on MC. the fracture still still huge so doctor advise to not move a lot
June - Took prolia injection since the fracture is stagnant and my bones are weaker due to not walking
July - Spending haru's anni in tsutaya. it was okay, but i love kinokuniya more. bought one book and matcha lemonade.
September - start walking without the boot. it is kind of scary at first but get use to it in few weeks
October- finally free from doctor's appointment. spending my actual birthday by going to huckleberry to buy kouign amman and  sleeping most of the evening. the celebration day, i wear heels after 10 months.

and today, 29/10, i am not a covid virgin anymore. tested positive after few days feeling unwell
Wed- start having sore throat,
Thurs - worst day ever. gastric+headache+chills anddddd need to finished my work task. HELL I TELL YOU, HELLL!
Fri - feeling a bit better, but start working after lunch. night still feel a bit chill, but sore throat is gone. cough is still there
Sat- like a good citizen, i to covid self test and bammm! positive not even 3 minutes. CONGRATULATION!


i really hope i'm the only one who is positive covid and my mom and sister are okay.
Please pray for them!

Recently, i start take interest on Matsushita Kouhei.
First saw him in Saiai, and immediately put him in list of actor to watch.
didn't even realize that he is in shitteru wife and survival wedding though..
So, i was looking foward for yangotonaki ichizoku, (come on, tsuchiya tao and watanabe keisuke!)

and boy..
i fell hard. especially when watching him singing with wacci.
and that start of me searching for kouhei in variety.
sadly, i can't find any with subtitle.
thankfully, i started to understand more nihongo now so i understand 40 per cent of the conversation ( which is better than didn't understand at all, right?)

it makes me want to study nihongo more, so i can subs myself his clips.
one can dream high right?

i have a lot of things to say, but i know nobody will listen to it.
Everyone has their own life, their own little family now. I understand that.

I'm feeling very depressed these days (note that i'm always super happy, even at littlest things).
Ever since the news about Haruma, my life changes. It's not normal for most people, and sometimes I think that is not normal too.
I mean, I never met him, I know him only by his works and variety. but it is 13 years. 2/3 of my whole life.

In October, nearing my birthday, i keep seeing people RT his picture, and his past movies and deep down i still feel sad.
I still can't watch his works. I know i will burst out. even short clip of his variety still making me tear up.

I was happy, you know it's my birthday! i even start wearing colors (not the usual black jeans/black shirt). i thought i am okay.
but my immune system says otherwise. On my birthday i start feeling itcy around my waist and thought it just normal allergic reaction. Its getting worse and two days later i went to clinic.

Turns out i got shingles.

The doctor ask are you under a lot of stress? because your immune system failed you. basically i feel fine, not overwhelmed happy, but okay, content. didn't expected that my immune system says otherwise. Never thought that the affect of keep remembering Haruma did this.

Yeah i'ts kinda weird and impossible right? i know.

Last week is exactly 13 years since i saw Koizora. Every year i will watch it just to remember the one who introduce me to pursue learning japanase but since last year, i stop watching it.

I just stare at the sunset and hoping i will be happy again. maybe not today, or next month.

But someday.

Maybe in future, I will reread this entry again and smile.

As for now, i think i just need to embrace this sadness and try to let go slowly.

What are the odds, that two people born on the same day, same year in two different country?
Both are humble, kind, always deep in thought, and passion about their work.


What are the odds, that i fall for the other one once the first one left this world?
I keep thinking about it these few months, ever since i saw KJH’s work. He really passion with his acting, almost similar to Haruma’s.

Too bad they didn’t have chance to meet each other, since KJH debut in 2016.

Haruma,

The one who makes me want to learn Japanese seriously.
The one who makes me start bouldering.
The one who makes me interest in theater play.
The one who always work hard
The one who makes me wonder, how that smile always makes me calm.

who are the one who introduced me to a lot of things, the one who makes me who i am right now,
will always in my heart.

Kim Jung Hyun,
who sweep me off with Cheoljong, and makes me want to be better everyday, thank you for existing.

Happy birthday, both of you. Both has a place in my heart.

Before i forgot, there are few actors that currently eyeing..

• Fukushi Sota.

Saw him first in My Tomorrow your yesterday in flight to Amsterdam. watch the movie twice, because i fall asleep halfway haha.
Anyway totally fall in love with him later in Aishitatte, Himitsu wa Aru and realize that he is the same person before! (Also love Komatsu Nana since that movie!). Love watching him again because in that movie, he resemble a lot to that japanese guy that i was talking to.

• Suda Masaki

Saw him in Kiseki, Nanimono, but never realize until Todome no Kiss. and he can sing! and he can play any character! totally in my list.

• Dean Fujioka

First saw him in Monte Cristo and really fall in love with his acting. and found out he married to an Indonesian! and can speak Indonesian! and already have 3 kids!! super cool papa!!

• Yoshizawa Ryo

This guy is kinda random. never watch him as the lead so never realize him. even in Gintama he has kinda big role but still didn't realize. only know him from my twitter mutual. and he is a dork! (he also Miura's junior so whattttt??)

• Yokohama Ryusei

I always confused this guy with Yoshizawa Ryo. when i want to watch Yoshizawa Ryo, i always ended up watching drama by Ryusei and vise versa. but totally fall in love with him in Watashitachi Douka shiteru (Hamabe Minami is sooooo prettyyyyyy). well i do watch him in Panda drama and love it, but head over heels when he plays Tsubaki. Oh god did you see his smile? SO SO SO SO CUTEEEEE

• Itagaki Mizuki

Will edit this later!

OMG!
my last post is on 2014? 3 years ago?
i guess reality really keeps me busy, ne.
Here is some update from last entry that i did;
- Graduated from university.
- Got my dream job ( and can't think of any job that is more awesome than this).
- Start to learn japanese again with very kakkoi sensei (ehem, S no professor oak)
- Finally move on with my first love.
- Develop a new crush on someone is quite famous in social media.
- in a content state.

Oh also, during the three years, i also found love in Kanjani 8.
I'm not promise that i post another entry after this, since i use this blog to find japanese show, but yeah, this blog surprisingly still alive.

jaa, mata ne~!

this blog is dying.
i haven't post anything for past few years and always tend to ignore it.
the only thing i keep this blog alive is join a community so that i could watch my favourite japanese show. (yeah, i'm that sucks.)
been thinking to close it, but i can't .
so to my stalker out there that 'accidentally' come to this blog of mine,
sorry to say that it is sucks.
maybe i will post some entry in this blog (personal one) because i already have my novel blog in blogspot.
if you really want to stalk me, then do come to my twitter account (or instagram account).
i will not give out the link because if you are a true stalker, you will find it.
wish you all the best  !

p.s: some update in my life so far.

• fell in love again (not with same person)


• realise who my true friend are


• just finished my second year in university


• still the old farah

 i've been crazy about this camera for almost 2 years, but recently, after i just got a job and just finished high school.
i'm started to crazy about it again.

its true :)