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due to some minor concerns, this journal is going to be mostly friends only for a while. i love love love new friends, so, please, just comment here or on any of my posts, and i'll add you back. sorry, guys!

first of all, thank you so much! you are AMAZING, and i can't wait to read what you have in store for me. (also, uh, sorry that all of my requests are kind of obscure/difficult to write for/crazy. THE HEART WANTS WHAT IT WANTS. and i'm really sorry.)

but this is my first yuletide, and i'm really excited for it, and i'm sure that whatever you write me, i will ADORE it.

anyway, a bit about me: hi! i'm emmy. uh, i'm possibly going to be unlocking things in this lj, so if that is your chosen method of procrastination, go right ahead! but that is long and involves lots of babbling. so, i'll try and do me in a nutshell.

i love:

-banter
-people being best friends
-happy endings
-fixing mistakes
-shenanigans
-people just being people
-people being in a relationship/in love without realizing it
-snapshots of a life -- i love adventure stories, but i also love stories where people sit around and talk and love each other

i'm less hot on:

-character death
-sad endings (though, of course, sometimes they are really really good)
-first person (it's a personal thing, but if you really think it's the only way the story will work, that's fine)
-utterly plot driven stories, with very little character interaction/focus

i am fine with anything from a g -- nc-17 rating, though i would only really want real porn/pwp for romeo/mercutio. everything else is just a little too childhood destroying.

( ovarattachment to children's books? you must be thinking of someone else.Collapse )

 guys, i have realized that there is a significant portion of my flist that does NOT know the wonders of leverage. and that, my friends, is a tragedy.

you know how sometimes, you watch white collar, and you're like, god, this is the BEST THREESOME IN THE WORLD, if only the writers put more than three seconds of thought into the plots? (not that i don't love white collar! i love it a LOT. i just, you know, wish that the writers would THINK about appropriate behavior for fbi agents/admisable evidence/having people actually think things through/etc. THE PRETTY DOES NOT TOTALLY BLIND US, GUYS. just mostly.) well, leverage ALSO has the best threesome in the world (and lots of other pairings. lots of them. my rule of thumb with shipping people on leverage: if they have appeared on screen together and talked, i ship them), AND the plots, while not always making lots of SENSE, are very clever and well thought out and generally awesome!

basic description: hardison, eliot, sophie, and parker are thieves. nate is a mastermind. they "pick up where the law leaves off," by taking technically legal situations (mostly) that are screwing people over, and fix them. they hurt the bad guys, give the money to the good guys, and are adorable and awesome while doing it. there is a LOT of competence porn and banter. IT'S AWESOME. basically, if you added ocean's and white collar and the ridiculousness of psych, with a little more awesome girls, you would have leverage.

but i'm getting ahead of myself. let's start with the pretty, because i know you guys. and there will also be character descriptions!



( a very long, very picture-y pimp. probably not dial up friendly!Collapse )

  so, glass_icarus  posted a link to people doing a HOT AND AWESOME WOMEN meme, and i was like, whoa, cool! that sounds fun! i'll do it! it'll be easy.

...there are fifty people in it. and over two hundred and fifty pictures. I AM NOT SURE HOW THAT HAPPENED, BUT IT DID.

anyway, here are hot girls! (there are a lot of them.)


( SERIOUSLY, MORE THAN 250 PICTURES. THIS IS NOT A POST FOR DIAL UP. AT ALL.Collapse )

sort of.

HALFWAY THROUGH NANO, AND I HIT 25K TODAY. NOT SURE HOW THIS HAPPENED. AM VERY EXCITED. IT IS PRETTY COOL. (although my nano has LITERALLY NO PLOT and is about NINETY PERCENT BANTER. also, yesterday, i got really bored with what i was writing, said, "FUCK IT," and wrote an explicit threesome.

. . . go self? IT WAS SPECIAL. also, my characters are vaguely based off my best friends, so the explicit sex is KIND OF DISTURBING. except for jay. jay is pretty much fandom's draco malfoy. I AM NOT SURE IF THIS MAKES IT BETTER OR WORSE.)

if my rate of writing keeps up, my entire nano will literally span a week. I AM ON DAY THREE RIGHT NOW. (though i did write a prologue. and a deleted scene, killed because it had - gasp - ACTUAL PLOT IN IT. and, oh yeah, an explicit threesome.)

BUT DUDE I AM ON TRACK. I HAVE NO IDEA HOW, BUT THIS IS REALLY FUCKING COOL.

also today it was too gorgeous to be november and i saw my best friends (one of them for the first time in an entire month, which was kind of a record for us) and ate a slice of pizza and ice cream and an egg bagel of deliciousness and most of an eclair and some of a cinnamon bun and more ice cream and it was DELICIOUS. it was officially declared food day, which was a v good idea, i feel.

also i am SO UNBELIEVABLY SORRY THAT I HAVE BEEN SO ABSENT FROM LJ-LAND. I AM THE WORST, I KNOW. i humbly plead that no one defriends me because i am dead right now because i will return on december first and have NO FRIENDS and cry forever and write in my diary about how NOBODY LOVES ME. so, yeah. i promise that in fifteen days, i will totally go back to being a creepy stalker for all of you.

also, somehow, oprah has become a LEGIT CHARACTER in my nano. i feel like this says a lot about my nano! mostly how it is CRACK, but whatever. crack is totally underrated.

anyway i am not checking my flist because it takes a v long time and my internet right now is quite iffy, but i check my email about A THOUSAND TIMES A DAY hoping for an excuse to not write. so, please! leave snippets of your nano/other writing/tell me how much cooler your life is than mine (trust me, it is. living under a rock would be an EXCITING CHANGE OF PACE for me right now) and watch me BURN WITH ENVY. it will be super fun! and you can make fun of me, which always wins.

anyway this post was MY REWARD FOR NOT FAILING THE FIRST HALF OF NANO, so do not expect to see me around for another fifteen days. I HOPE YOU ARE ALL HAVING LIVES/WRITING THAT ARE COOLER THAN MINE ARE.

(if you see me around before december first, please be CRACKING A WHIP at me. I NEED IT.)

also, because i am nothing if not dedicated to sharing my sketchy with y'all, here is the porn. note: IT IS FOURTEEN HUNDRED WORDS AND, LIKE, 150 OF THEM ARE ACTUAL SEX. THE REST ARE BANTER. I AM THE COOLEST.

eta: i had this whole long cut text, but lj somehow killed it so all i saw was the word "hard." I PROBABLY SHOULD NOT HAVE LAUGHED AS HARD AS I DID AT THAT.

( hardCollapse )

. . . WTF IS WRONG WITH ME?

 guess what day it is, my loves?

not halloween. (well, yes, halloween, but that is not the point. though i am being a sexy hooker spy, and i look AWESOME. and am going to the halloween parade. woohoo!)

but more importantly, ONE DAY BEFORE NANO STARTS. OH GOD.

i am TERRIFIED, because last year i didn't finish (though i did manage to bang out 14k in one weekend, it was pretty fucking ninja), and this year i am DETERMINED to.

my plot involves fake virginity, being accidentally famous, the last name "clitgarden," making really, really inadvisable jokes to people magazine, feeling kinship with robin shabertasky, and the awesomesauce that is new york. mostly because i don't know any other place nearly well enough to write about it.

in the words of the very mean one, "it would make an awesome ellen page movie." i don't mind telling you that that compliment MADE MY LIFE, because i think that would be pretty obvious.

but more importantly, WHICH OF MY LOVELY LADIES ARE JOINING THIS INSANITY WITH ME? i may put you guys on a filter, so my wordcount whinings go only to people who ~understand, or i may just cry and scream at you guys a lot. COME ON BBS, I NEED A SUPPORT GROUP HERE. OTHERWISE THE DANGER OF ME KILLING MYSELF WITH A SPOON IS PRETTY FUCKING HIGH.

and i promise to cheerlead AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE, for anyone who wants it. i am on gchat and aim and msm pretty much 24 hours a day, so i rok at cheerleading :). you may even get a poem!

( SPOILERS FOR THE (HOMG) MERLIN PREVIEW.Collapse )

answer: reel_merlin is AWESOME.

Title: Dynamite With A Laser Beam
Author: sequinedfairy
Film prompt: Ocean's 11
Pairings: Arthur/Merlin, Gwen/Morgana
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 2,600 (totally nothing for this challenge, but the longest thing I've ever written!)
Spoilers: pretty much none. maybe a little for the movie, but nothing all that serious.
Notes: The lovely syllic actually submitted this, so big thanks to her. Title from "Killer Queen" by Queen, which totally should be this fic's (and Ocean's) theme song. Also, I missed posting this the first time (because I am the worst), and krazykipper was unbelievably gracious about it, and managed to give me another chance.
Warnings: . . . I realized, after I had written that, that I had basically just written Saul/Linus. Which is disturbing, to say the least. But Saul is Morgana is this fic, so, not an old man! (Which might not make it better.)
Summary: Merlin and Arthur plan, argue about Swiss girls, laugh, have designs on major landmarks, make out, miss each other, and steal a whole lot of money from an evil casino. Also, Gwen and Morgana and Gaius laugh at them a lot.


( Merlin was calmly figuring out what he would most regret if he suffocated to death in a tiny box (number one on the list was suffocating to death in a tiny box; number two was never seeing Morgana and Gwen have hot lesbian sex) when, by some miracle of God, Arthur burst into the room and opened the top.Collapse )

two days ago, i spent $25 on LEVERAGE DVDS. why? because i wanted them really really badly. and watched about four episodes in one night.

yesterday, i slept over at a friend's house by accident, making that my fourth sleepover in six days. i a) flirted terribly with my ex-boyfriend, who is now both hotter and has a million times better personality than when i dumped him. after he left, i complained for about half an hour about how he got hot and awesome AFTER i dumped him, while my friends laugh at me. then i b) flirted with her little brother TERRIBLY while her boyfriend was in the room. and had lots of fun. AND THEN. i c) had orgies with another friend and a stuffed dinosaur (while little brother was in room).

in addition to all of those things, i also saw a flock of geese and decided that i wanted to write a leverage geese au. i am not sure why, but my brain says it would work.

and then today, i had this conversation:

me: I AM CONFUSED AS WHAT I DID FOR THE LAST HOUR
IT'S ALL SO CONFUSING
the very mean one: ...?
me: um
i wasted an hour
doing SOMETHING
and then i clicked on something
and it's like with a kay
but NOT
i am so confused
the very mean one: ...
are you high?
please explain this to mee
me: no that is the most frightening part
and i am reading weird not realyl fic
the very mean one: wait
waitwaitwait
me: about characters i don't know
the very mean one: are you okay?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
me: in an universe that involves camp but i am SO CONFUSED BY IT
also
I HAVE NO IDEA
the very mean one: ...
me: IT HURTS ME
the very mean one: SERIOUSLY WAIT EXPLAIN THIS TO ME
were you asleep or something?
me: no
i was just bored
so i clicked on something
and was like HUH I WONDER WHAT THIS IS
so i clicked on more things
AND IT WAS AN HOUR
):
the very mean one: ...but what WAS it?
me: um

what, exactly, has gone wrong with my life? PLEASE ILLUMINATE ME.

ETA: today, i woke up in little brother's bed (he was not there) with no pants on. when i fell asleep, i was neither in his bed or in my underwear. it's things like this that concern me.

i KNEW i had no time at the end of july when i signed up, but this did not stop me from signing up for TWO. oh my GOD, what is wrong with me?

anyway, i have given up the first one, zoolander, for dead, though that makes me very sad, but i am DETERMINED to finish my ocean's eleven one.

I STARTED IT THIS MORNING. FML.

basically, my mind is just like, "come on, it only has to be 1000 words! you can finish that in like an HOUR, don't be a wimp. you can procrastinate!" while conviniently forgetting that ocean's is an ENTIRE MOVIE where A LOT OF SHIT HAPPENS that will take MORE THAN A THOUSAND WORDS TO WRITE. i have my first thousand, and it has BARELY STARTED. what is even wrong with me?

on the bright side, i am SO EXCITED to read everyone else's, which will be obviously a thousand times better than mine. if you're doing it, please tell me what you're doing, so i can be jealous and console myself with the fact that i get to read whatever you've written!

also, i have an orientation wednsday, and school starts on thursday. this makes me SO SAD. i love summer, why has it ENDED? that is extremely rude of it. soon it'll be COLD and HORRIBLE and oh god i hate winter.

happy thoughts though: MERLIN IS IN LIKE TWO WEEKS. OHMYGOD. I CANNOT WAIT. i read spoily reviews of the episode (i'm such a spoiler whore) and i AM SO FREAKING EXCITED IT SOUNDS AMAZING. IT NEEDS TO BE ONLINE LIKE NOW, REALLY. I MISSSSSSSS IT.

(also, anyone who saw it, want to comfort me with amazing slashy moments? I DON'T CARE ABOUT SPOILERS I JUST NEED TO KNOW. please?)

anyway, i have angsty supernatural (I DON'T KNOW WHY. IT CONCERNS ME) to post in a few days, and hopefully a merlin and will texting fic too. at some point. i swear.

i hope you all are being more sensible than me, and doing your writing in a timely manner!

ps - if anyone wants to offer an emergency beta, probably for tomorrow, i would definitely not say no. i can probably make the evil one edit it, but it would be v nce if someone had free time. (no pressure though, really. i can totally make evil one edit it if i have to. knowing the movie is not neccesary, but it might help.)