Back in 2014, OkCupid released this blog post about a data study they did that found Asian men and Black women were the least preferred in the dating app pool. It was painful to read, but it echoed my own experience with dating apps. It would be weeks, and I'd get maybe 4 likes, 3 of them from bots, and one from another country.  And I thought to myself... "Is something wrong with me?" I did everything that was suggested. Put smiling pictures, put yourself in with a group of people, show yourself doing something adventurous. I started reading what other girls preferred, and it dawned on me how superficial the whole thing was. "Must be at least 5'10, must have a 6 figure job, must have a dog."  After giving it a chance for a few months, I got fed up, stuck my middle finger at the whole scene, and walked away without looking back. 

I soured over the whole finding romance thing. I focused on finding friends instead, and I was much happier that way. With friends, there weren't any major check boxes I had to fit into. It was just "Yo, are you hungry? There's free food at this event." 

But beneath it all, I still think about that OkCupid study. Asian men are the least preferred in dating apps in comparison to males of other races. It still hurts that this is the truth. 

I think about it now because it's one of the first times I felt betrayed by society because of my race. I wonder, would I have been happier if I had not read about that study?