Heavy

One of my friends went back to visit China after being gone for 10 years. She was able to see her grandmother who was 95 years old. Just today, my friend's grandmother passed away. A few weeks ago, she was sending me pictures of them together, smiling and walking around. I didn't know the grandmother, but I could tell my friend's love for her was strong. To know that my friend and her family had to go through this so suddenly, it's heartbreaking. Death feels too heavy and sobering. All these daily concerns feel so trivial in the face of such a boundless force.  I knew there were no words that could help. But I still said them hoping it could ease some of the pain. "I'm here if you need me."

No response since from her since then. I didn't expect one. I'm sure the family is busy now preparing for the funeral. 

And now I'm up at 3 AM, really feeling the heaviness of life, stunned by the contemporary nature of it all. 

I have to wake up in 4 hours, go to the office, and write up a report which I don't really feel like doing. But maybe there's a blessing in that sort of monotony. Someday, my life may be completely different. I may not always have my family or friends in my life. I should try to enjoy these moments when I can.