All Kill Their Inspiration and Sing About Their Grief

Choose Your Own Introduction

If you seek Optimism, you so have been misdirected to this blog.

If you seek Anonymous, refer to Introduction One.

If you seek Crotchety, refer to Introduction Two.

If you seek Insanity, refer to Introduction Three.

If you seek Pessimism, refer to Introduction Four.

If you seek Psychopathy, refer to Introduction Five.

If you seek Sagacity, refer to Introduction Six.

If you seek Friend Status, you establish me on your list and I bestow the courtesy upon you as are we not all mutual Friend-mongers?

If you seek Icons, I have few scruples about others borrowing mine though do credit the creator, eh?

If you seek Fanfiction, I dare you to enter the Fanfiction Index.

If you seek Pretties of the Peloton, read my manic cycling drivel at Woman Man Fish Bicycle.

Introduction One - My name is Miss Sansenmage, and I'm a Blog-a-holic ya'll.

Introduction Two - Hey, when I was your age, I couldn't sleep in. I had to wake up at four-thirty to get my cold ass shower before my seven younger siblings woke up to hog the bathroom. Then, I had to eat a cold breakfast of gruel that only kids in Oliver Twist could love. And if you think that's cruel, I had to drive over thirty miles to work and school in a 1985 Monte Carlo--Miami Vice aqua! And if the ride wasn't uphill both ways, it was road construction, dang nabit!

Introduction Three - Oh, my freakin' gosh! I got a blog. A blog ya'll! This is like so cool. I thought webpages were so cool, but they're like so 1990s. And the HTML? So boring to type! You wanna know something about me? I'm such a fangirl. Really, I am, and require regular fangirl rabies shots like all of the time for Anglophilia. Dude, I love all 'em British actors too, all those handsome, angsty-wangsty ones like Ewan and Sean and Ioan, and--well, except Hugh Grant. His teeth are too big. Oh, I wanna give a shout out to my friends at the Mall. Hey, look at me ya'll! I'm on the Internet! Now where's the slash?

Introduction Four - Shall I worship my ego in this space by constructing the ideal
biography myself? No, I will avoid this hypocrisy; I would slander myself by not admitting that
my angst and my malaise have molded my present self. With all this melancholy it is inevitable that I have artistic pretensions, though that begs the question as to whether I possess any genius or any imagination. Whatever conclusions you choose, I cannot condemn you--but I can judge you too; so there Mary Sue!

Introduction Five - Viva fashionistas! I am the Walrus, and you are not. So, uh, there!

Introduction Six - Life's a banquet, and must suckers are starving. So you want to live, live, live; but don't supersize it or make it carbolicious, okay?