As I write, my mother is in the other room on a Zoom call with a group of longtime friends in Ontario. They know each other from a Burlington YMCA morning fitness class; when the pandemic hit, they moved the class to Zoom, and when Mom moved east to PEI, they just kept on going. They still work out together on Zoom, all these years later, but they spend just as much time chatting. Three mornings a week, it’s 40 minutes of social connection that Mom’s been able to maintain.

When, three months after Catherine died, in January of 2020, COVID hit, regular in-person grief support groups had no way of meeting. Fortunately, the need outweighed any resistance to embracing moving online, and I was able to join the monthly grief support group hosted by the Palliative Care Centre and Hospice PEI.

Through the same period, with my immediate family bunkered down at homes in California, Ontario, and Quebec, we instituted Friday Family Zoom: every Friday night we’d all gather on Zoom and play charades or pictionary, or make a craft together, or do a scavanger hunt. During the darkest loniliness it was a powerful weekly antidote.

Throughout all of this, I was continuing to work remotely with Yankee Publishing in New Hampshire every day, and Zoom was our way of collaborating at a distance. We had a Friday afternoon scrum every week, and, on top of any work utility, that too was an important social anchor for me.

A year later, when I was starting to feel like I needed help at the intersection of grief and loneliness, I got a reference from a social worker to Your Life Design, a PEI-based, online-only counselling service. I found myself a counsellor, and our work together, on Zoom, was transformative.

A few months after that, when Olivia came out, I needed support, and found my way to Transforming Family, an LA-based family support group. After an intake call with a fellow parent of a trans child, I started attending Zoom meetings—TF, like Mom’s fitness class, had also pivoted to Zoom—and, some months later, I became the facilitator of a monthly support group for the parents of neurodiverse trans children, a group I host still.

This past Saturday, Lisa and I joined 400-odd other people from around the world for a Zoom art class with Danny Gregory. In recent years I’ve attended several similar Zoom classes, on topics like letterpress printing in the round.

I’ve attended Zoom folk music concerts, co-hosted a Zoom unconference, set up Zoom fountain pen meetings, given  a Zoom lecture at UPEI, and attended a Zoom Publications Committee meeting while walking around the Experimental Farm.

Somewhere in there, we all got “Zoom fatigue,” to the point where, for many, the very hint that something would happen “on Zoom” was anathema. For L., and my distance niblings, “Zoom School” was an unmitigated disaster, and that only served to strengthen the general resistance.

But Zoom changed the world. As a low-barrier-to-entry, cross-platform, free (for 40 minutes) videoconferencing app that, almost all the time, just works, Zoom was one of the (few) lasting gifts that COVID gave us. 

Let’s not forget that.

Wes Anderson in conversation with The New Yorker’s Susan Morrison, in An Editor’s Burial:

WES: Well, I’ve had an apartment in Paris for I don’t know how many years. I’ve reverse emigrated. And in Paris, any time I walk down a street I don’t know well, it’s like going to the movies. It’s just entertaining. There’s also a sort of isolation living abroad, which can be good or it can be bad. It can be lonely, certainly. But you’re also always on a kind of adventure, which can be inspiring.

SUSAN: Harold Ross, The New Yorker’s founding editor, was famous for saying that the history of New York is always written by out-of-towners. When you’re out of your element, or in another country, you have a different perspective. It’s as if a pilot light is always on.

WES: Yes! The pilot light is always on.

SUSAN: In a foreign country, even just going into a hardware store can be like going to a museum.

WES: Buying a light bulb.

Jane Siberry is such an interesting singer-songwriter. I’ve been a fan for more than 40 years, writing about her here for more than 25, and during that time she’s released albums in myriad genres, with myriad collaborators, changed her name to Issa (and back), reinvented her website myriad times, reinvented the way she distributes her music myriad times.

It seems naive to write that she’s “back,” as she never left. But she does have a new album in the offing, In the Thicket of our Own Unconsciousness, with two tracks available for free advance download, Bountiful Beautiful and Bailout. 

if one of us is in darkness less bright our light shall be — if one of us is suffering then none of us are free…

The music is interesting in a whole new way, but it also includes longtime collaborators David Ramsden and Rebecca Jenkins, and Rebecca Campbell, whose voices dovetail so beautifully with hers.

In a specific way, it was the Isle of Skye that led me to Whidbey island.

So begins Islands, from Peter Miller, a poingant story that dovetails nicely with Kevin Kelly’s How Will the Miracle Happen Today?

There has been an outcropping of the Shetland Islands in my life of late: Lisa’s midway through reading Storm Pegs, and I fell down a NorthLink Ferries rabbit hole, including learning about the Islander Card, which residents can use to secure a ferry discount.

In the lovely essay How Will the Miracle Happen Today?, Kevin Kelly writes:

But the strangeness of “kindees” is harder to explain. A kindee is what you turn into when you are kinded. Curiously, being a kindee is an unpracticed virtue. Hardly anyone hitchhikes any more, which is a shame because it encourages the habit of generosity from drivers, and it nurtures the grace of gratitude and patience of being kinded from hikers. But the stance of receiving a gift – of being kinded — is important for everyone, not just travelers. Many people resist being kinded unless they are in dire life-threatening need. But a kindee needs to accept gifts more easily. Since I have had so much practice as a kindee, I have some pointers on how it is unleashed.

This resonates with me on many levels. 

I was a regular hitchhiker, for a time, in my mid-twenties. It was often frustrating, sometimes meant being cold and wet for an awfully long time. But I loved it. I loved being the “kindee,” the feeling of mutual trust. And, more than once, I vowed that I would always pick up hitchhikers when the opportunity presented (a vow I have not universally lived up to, but have lived up to more than most).

More generally, Kelly is right that we are not practiced nor particulary good, as a rule, at being kindees. 

“Not being a burden” is held as a high virtue. 

“I don’t want to put you out,” is a frequent response to an offer of help.

We can get better at this, and, when we get better, it improves the lot of both the giver and the receiver (and the lot of the world in general).

Kelly finishes his essay with:

Although we don’t deserve it, and have done nothing to merit it, we have been offered a glorious ride on this planet, if only we accept it. To receive the gift requires the same humble position a hitchhiker gets into when he stands shivering on the side of the empty highway, cardboard sign flapping in the cold wind, and says, “How will the miracle happen today?”

Here here.

I’ve written about publishing a list of all the blog I read regularly via my RSS reader before (2003, 2005, 2018, 2019, 2020, 2025). I’d left that publishing fallow for awhile, and my public list had grown out of date.

I have fired up the process I developed in 2019 to export my list as an OPML file, and added some automation to make it all happen automatically, removing the need for me to remember to do it manually.

Heretofore you can find my blogroll at ruk.ca/opml. It’s readable by both humans and machines, so even if you’re not RSS-literate, feel free to browse.

For those who might want to emulate my process, the FreshRSS-related key is this command:

./cli/export-opml-for-user.php --user [username]

I take the resulting exported OPML, do a little cleanup via a PHP script, and move the file into place. It happens once a day, so the file stays fresh.

Lisa describes the process of learning to “get loose” in her art, inspired by an online course we took together yesterday, Pen & Paint - Paint & Pen, from Danny Gregory.

Longtime readers may recall that I first encountered Gregory nine years ago, courtesy of an advertorial reference from the great Dan Misener.

Few ads have enhanced my life more than that one.

For comparison, here are the fish I sketched yesterday:

From top to bottom: monk fish, orange roughy, big mouth bass, perch. 

My favourite was the big mouth bass: it got me to try a new “wet on wet” approach to watercolour, and I was intrigued by the unexpected result.

Seven years ago I wired up my RSS reader, FreshRSS, so that every time I “favourites” a post, it would create a record of that here on this blog.

I took a detour from FreshRSS for several years, but I’m back using it again, and I’ve updated the code that wires this all up to work with Drupal 10. As a result, you can now visit:

• Favourites (a regular old web page, updated every time I favourite something).
• Favourites RSS (an RSS feed of my favourites).

The key to all of this is low friction: to favourite something I just click on the ★ icon in Reeder, my desktop and mobile RSS reader, and everything else happens automatically.

In June of 1972, my paternal grandmother, Nettie, travelled to Europe with her friend Anka. I recently came across her travel diary from that trip, and had it transcribed.

It’s very much the Nana I remember, and it’s written in a style, and with a degree of detail, that I recognize from both my father’s journals and my own.

I remember frequent mentions of Anka during my childhood; I think she was a not-directly-related Rukavina, but I know nothing of her otherwise.

I am in awe of my grandmother’s sense of adventure, and her resourcefulness (to say nothing of her whisky smuggling). 

This was, as far as I know, her first trip to Europe, and only her second journey by air. She made the entire 31 day trip for $500. 

She was 57 years old, three years younger than I am now.

June 13, 1972

By bus to Anka to Hamilton on July 13. Stayed overnite

June 14, 1972

Helen (Joe’s wife) drove to aeroport. Very hot & humid in Toronto. Left Malton 5:45 p.m. Beautiful plane, free drinks (2 rounds slivovica, vino, milk, juice or pop). Delicious hot meal at 8, again wine & coffee. Free drinks at bar all the time. Good trip. 

June 15, 1972

Arrived Zagreb 6:30 Yugoslav time, 11:30 our time. Long wait to retrieve luggage. Peter’s dinars paid Anka & my way on bus to Zagreb. Registered at Bristol, went to market, bought cherries & ate at park. Confused about 1000s of dinars. Have too much luggage.

Had bath, went to bed early lovely room for 4.75 but the noise outside kept us awake all night (singing etc.). 

June 16, 1972

Went to Kasumovich during day, met George stayed, left most baggage. 

Left at 8 for Munich. Had a room & sleeper. Couldn’t sleep. Drank vino at 2 a.m. out of plastic top from hair spray. 

June 17, 1972

Arrived Munich 7 a.m. Waited around 2 hours to get reservation for train back. Met Anka’s relatives. Took taxi, found cousin at home. Nice reunion—make us feel at home. Lots to drink & eat. Rained all day—sat & talked.

Beautiful weather. Josip drove us around Munich to summer Olympic village climbed hill—rode to top of Olympic Tower—had coffee in restaurant—saw King Ludwig’s palace ducks, geese in large pond—race track where races will be held during Olympics.

June 18, 1972

Beautiful day. Went uptown, looked thru stores—sat in City Hall square at 11 o’clock a.m. & watched King & Queen & warriors ride around the town to entertain them.

June 19, 1972

Hot chicken & chips at chicken palace. Anka took sick—had to stay another day. Shopped with Marica—saw beautiful furniture. With Vlado—saw cowboy movie & “Get Smart” with German transl. (funny).

June 20, 1972

Took train at 8 a.m. for Zagreb with us a Hungarian fur buyer (well travelled) explained & pointed out interesting sights—beautiful thru Bavaria & Austria—saw snow on the Alps. Beautiful villages, many flowers everywhere (many tunnels/geraniums) next homes nicely painted. Nice trip. Travelled thru Slovenia, Ljubljana etc. Arrived Zagreb around 6 p.m. Not a room to be had in Bristol or elsewhere (some film thing or other). Went to Kasumovich (where else?) Matt away, couldn’t sleep for the traffic.

June 21, 1972

Visited Zagreb cemetery (huge stony images/flowers) Manlas grave (Cathedral of Zagreb) made bus reservation for Postojna & train reservation for Sibenik.

June 22, 1972

Up early, packed lunch (salami sandwiches & blueberry strudel) and by bus to Postojna—rode all sunny & warm—went thru Ljubljana—stopped for 15 m. sent out cards. Arrived Postojna 10 o’clock—Had a beer—walked to the caves—something worthwhile to see—a train ride first—then walked thru caves. Yugoslav guide explained—Sophia Loren’s bust—concert hall—cave used for gas storage by Germans during war—partisans blew it up. Saw fish—can live on sea or water. Had a snack—bus to Ljubljana—another bus to Zagreb. Incident 3 Brazilians with reserved seats. Had to stand all the way. 3 Jugs [Yugoslavs] refused to get up—bus driver wouldn’t interfere.

June 23, 1972

Sat up at 4:30 (colder in Zagreb) a.m. to get to train for Sibenik—was to leave at 6:06 was over 1 hour late—It went thru Bosnia—mountain, valleys—lakes, rivers—saw women in native costumes like Turks—passed thru many tunnels. Now in Dalmatia—grape vineyards, very rocky countryside—arrived Sibenik 2:30 p.m. Missed train to Perivoc—left on siding for 2 hours till engine came for a 20 minute ride to Perivoc—took bus then short ride to Martin’s place where we lugged baggage for nearly 1/2 mile up & down stairs & over stone roads to reach cottage—colder here than Zagreb. 

Too cold to go in the water. What kind of dwellings—just like out of Early Egyptian times. Narrow streets, plaster & old brick falling apart—women dressed in black—heard donkey bray—used as carriers—saw a real live donkey for first time in my life—ate fresh figs (don’t like/dry better)—saw almond tree & a green almond.

June 24, 1972

Best sleep since left home. Up at 6—cold wind from Sibenik sea—Anka to mass—I stayed to write about travels. Plan to leave tomorrow for Split—from there by bus to Anka’s relatives by the sea.

June 26, 1972

Up at 7—breakfast—picked cherries in priest’s yard & plums—ate fresh “Smokvi” [figs] & white mauve—lunch—bus to Split—by way of Sibenik. Bus driver advised to get off at Solin—another bus to Kastel—easy to Anka’s cousin—huge waves, beach dirty. Beautiful oleanders, palms also fresh figs. Home a lot bath (1st in tub since arrived Yugoslavia (Hotel in Zagreb only but hot shower).

June 28, 1972

Anka & I lay on the beach—tanned. Watched fishermen leave with nets but no fish to be caught these few days. Saw beautiful homes being built—lots of grape vines, peach trees, plums & fresh vegetables. Saw funeral procession of young boy of 22 (killed in a car) carried by a close friend. First the marker for grave (then by 2s) boy and girl carried wreaths. Childhood boys and girls walked, then mother & family. A young girl (in 20) all in white as a bride, veil, feathers & carried a white pillow & alongside her 3 bridesmaids in long coloured dresses (beautiful). Then family & a brass band played all the way from deceased home. No church funeral because he was born there the procession followed thru main streets of village. In the evening watched a war picture from Sarajevo & to bed at 11.

June 29, 1972

Beautiful sunny day very hot—out to the beach at 9 a.m.—getting quite brown. Walked to the ballet school—orchestra played—watched a comedy on t-v & then to bed. Awakened by nice singing after midnight—angry to be awakened but enjoyed the wedding singing.

June 30, 1972

Awakened at 6 a.m. Caught fish for fish breakfast—a bus trip to Split—thru Diocletian’s palace. Had čevapčiči (for the first time) and beer—very hot—shopped at market for tomatoes, cabbage & peppers.

July 1, 1972

Sunny, hot. Fresh fried fish for breakfast again. Hours of sun. Have a little burn on the shoulders. Have had a container of good sour cream milk nearly every day. Laundry dried in afternoon—rain & thunder and lightning. First real day of tourist season—last night Split and surrounding beach areas all lit up with coloured lights—a beautiful sight.

July 2, 1972

After a good night’s sleep (no serenade) market as usual—stores open till noon. Got a good burn—after lunch afternoon nap. Anka’s 2nd cousin (Marica’s daughter) drove us to Trogir—came & we are to visit her on Sat & Sunday. Stormy evening.

July 3, 1972

Up at 5 a.m.—planned to go to Dubrovnik but sea stormy—will go tomorrow. Couldn’t sleep for burn in legs & back. Walked around afternoon—found cemetery—after dinner at 3 went to bed & stayed there till 6. Cooler now.

July 4, 1972

Left by 6:30 a.m. bus to Split, waited for boat (cost 3.50) named Osijek—sea calm. Beer 5 dinars—Hungarian deck chairs not asked for tickets. Hot sun—burned nose—stopped at Hvar and Korčula. People from Isle of Wight—4 Canadians—hit one minute—then real cool had to put suit coat on—arrived Dubrovnik 4 p.m. Driven to private home—black coffee—lovely room in new home—after ride (bus to Pile gate) walked thru old city. Saw hotel where you stayed—market place—fountain—supper at Dubravka rest.—cabbage rolls & boiled potatoes with sauce—good but cold—cost 18 d. 1 cup of tea 5 dinars & bread 3 dinar—26 in all. Bought cards & mailed & then to bed.

July 5, 1972

Up at 6 (sunny day) coffee & bread & marmalade 10 dinar. 30 d. for room—checked out—ride on bus to Lapad—back thru store—bought small brandy & gum—at market peaches & doughnuts—ate at park under gate—paid 5 d. to go up wall—went to the highest point—thru 3 churches—good ice cream bar—took bus to railroad tracks—3 dirty restaurant filthy tablecloths—bus to boat dock ate good rice soup boiled potatoes & fat boiled beef—took bus at Split 2.50 arrived Split 8:10 everything closed.

July 6, 1972

Sunny day—up at 6—damned church bells & farmers at market. Freshly caught fish for breakfast—tea, bread. Bathing suits on & to the beach at 9:15—stayed there till 1:30 p.m.—after 1 hour rest supper at 4—good home-made bean & barley soup—pork & slaw (delicious). While at beach thought popcorn was sponges (calling peanuts KIKIRIKI). Took Anka & Ivica to Ballet rest.—had beer listened to good band—then to other rest. for “ćevapčići” & onions & Pepsi. Lots of laughs re beans as walked around beach at 11 p.m.—Ivica blamed for tra-la-la.

July 7, 1972

Beautiful day—fresh fried fish for breakfast—went to Kastelas for a per cost.

July 8, 1972

Arrived Zagreb 6 a.m.—weather cool but nice—went to Anna (not back yet) took 1:30 o’clock bus to Popovac (bought meat, lettuce & goodies & ate at Matt’s)—took 1 hour—met Anka’s aunt—Angeline (lovely person) husband & son—Josip from Munich talked, ate & drank (fresh water from well) beautiful home—large garden—nice bed to sleep in—awoke early by rooster crowing.

July 9, 1972

Beautiful day, (hot) dressed for cool. After breakfast (had barbecued a young pig on Sat. had hoped we would be there in time to see it but we arrived too late) of pork—good coffee (best yet since we arrived here) sat around all day—bum sore—early to bed—Peter had eye trouble—complained—but villagers building new homes & have good cars.

July 10, 1972

Hot, hot, after breakfast sat around then took 12:00 clock bus back to Zagreb. Arrived 10 o’clock. Had good hot meal at our favourite restaurant—slowly walked to Maksimirska—stopped to go thru stores on the way—arrived Anka’s around 5—had coffee then alone took 2 hour walk to market—bought 1st grapes of the season—30 d lb—supper of smoked ham (wished I had my own teeth to be able to chew it). Packed few things Matt took us to Anna’s (thought I was halfway home to Canada) where we are to sleep (Anna raised by Matt & Anna) beautiful apt. bought nice room to ourselves but oh as far to the center of the city. Sat up till 12: then to bed. Good night’s sleep (didn’t hear pouring rain or thunder).

July 11, 1972

Raining, cloud, windy & cold. No coat no sweater here—lucky I had suit with me (only because I was going to wear it). Went out (long walk to street car) walked around stores till 1. Hot meal (12 dinars) at favourite restaurant—rain started—stopped for coffee & tea at Geshone (lights flickered & went out, then came on again) kept on raining—took street car rides to end of line of different routes to kill time—started to pour—went to fish restaurant for freshly fried sardines (had heads & tails on them) 3 1/2 dinars a meal including bread)—ran in rain to catch street car (no 9) & rain slowed down before we got to Selska Ulica—had gone to see the big store gate near the market—shopped at market bought trinkets then records in Nama. Early to bed 9:30 still raining—good night’s sleep.

July 12, 1972

Damp and cold no rain yet—shopped at corner store for food—had good breakfast of salami, baloney, lettuce, cheese & coffee—polished white shoes—did some laundry—still cloudy & cold at 10 a.m.—but 11 to street car 9, off at Trga Republike—thru Nama & jewellers—rain—st. car to Anna—walk to market & other Nama—bought essence—bars, slivovica, tablecloth—back to Anna’s in pouring rain—supper—trifle for dessert—loaned umbrella. Left for Anna’s at 7 p.m.—still pouring—good supper breaded pork chops (delicious) french fries, cokes at 9:30—to bed.

July 13, 1972

Last day in Jugoslav—up at 6, pouring rain (same last 4 days) coffee—Anka went to hairdresser—all packed here at Selska Ulica ready to go to Matt’s to pack—buy last few things—a few more small whiskies—rain all day pouring—all packed, weighed in. Invited to George’s met wife & relative who was there when Dan was there—Mandica & her daughter Marijana (Martin Kasumovich junior’s wife) & children—met Martin Sr. & Anna & husband Joe—Matt helped with suitcases to station. Arrived at bus terminal 9:35 p.m. (bus was to leave at 9:50—plane at 11:50 p.m.) changed to bus to leave— else at terminal.

July 14, 1972

[Left Zagreb at] 3:30 a.m. at 1 & plane at 3. No more dinars—just enough to buy coffee & pay bus fare to airfield. Arrived airport 1:30, got weighed out—had to pay 2.10 each for departure tax—fit to be tied—checked baggage & left Zagreb (not raining now) at 3:30 a.m. After had hot meal of beef & rice tomatoes & cuke & cake & orange juice—after flight of 2 hours 40 m. arrived in Shannon (sun shining) Ireland for 40 m. stop—stayed 1 1/2 hours—left Shannon at 7:40 should arrive Toronto 10 a.m. Tired no sleep since 6 a.m. Thurs. no drinks or alcoholic beverages on return flight—no reserved seats. Had to sit near aisle—over landing wheel—felt the bump when it landed & when took off I on outside not bumpy otherwise. Had 2 mouthfuls of open faced sand[wich] salami, ham & cheese & coke for breakfast. Whisky lurking in purse. Some sewed up in “othki” pockets.

Arrived Home safe & sound. Wonderful. A full 31 days for only $500.00.

We are experiencing peak demand for electricity here on Prince Edward Island this January, with peak load exceeding 380 MW at the supper hour for each of the last three days. And it’s not even that cold yet.

A reminder that you can use the pei.consuming.ca site to get real time electricity load and generation data, updated every 15 minutes.