I used to do a series of posts on this blog called Versus, where I would post who I think would win in a fight between two fictional characters. This week’s question is one that could be a Versus post.
Who would win in a fight, Number 5 from Short Circuit or the T-800 (Arnold Schwarzenegger) Terminator?
On the surface, this seems like an easy one. A killing machine from the future versus the best robotics technology the 1980s has to offer? Doesn’t feel like a fair fight when it’s put that way, does it? If you look at a few things more closely, though, it may not be as clear-cut as that.
First, the Terminator has trouble killing an untrained human. Sure, she had Michael Biehn protecting her, but they’re still human.
Second, if you’ll notice, I said “Number 5” and not “Johnny 5”. After the electrical discharge that scrambled his circuits and turned Number 5 into Johnny 5, the robot was more of a pacifist, preferring nonlethal solutions. Nonlethal probably wouldn’t work well against a Terminator, so I’m going with the original version. The original Number 5 was designed for war. Plus, its shoulder mounted laser cannon was shown destroying Jeeps and troop transport trucks in one shot. If it can do that to a vehicle, it can do that to a Terminator.
Which do I think would win in a fight? I think it would depend on which weapons the Terminator is using. If it’s using the real world guns and ammo it used trying to kill Sarah Conner in 1984, I think Number 5 would probably win 6 out of every 10 fights. If the Terminator was using the laser guns we see it using in the future, I think those numbers would be reversed and it would be the Terminator winning 6 out of 10.
I really haven’t posted on this blog very much recently. That’s something I’d like to change. I’m not saying I’m going to post every day or anything, but at least once a week would be good enough for me.
So, to get me back into the swing of things, I looked back through some of my old posts. While doing so, I also went over my category list and saw a series of posts that I used to do. When I looked at the last post in that series, I saw that it’s been over four years since I’ve done one of them.
Versus.
For those who don’t know, or don’t remember, Versus was a series of posts that I did that pitted two or more fictional characters against each other and I would pick the winner. I also did a few that the winner was decided by a poll result.
I don’t have any particular matches in mind at the moment, but maybe you all can help me out. Is there a fictional throwdown that you want to see me do? It doesn’t have to be two specific characters. If you have a specific type of character, I can do that too. Want to see me put two TV detectives against each other? Perhaps two movie soldiers from the modern era? Drop me a comment and I’ll see what I can come up with.
It’s been a little bit since I last posted here. Between work, my family, and my other projects, I just haven’t had the time. I have a few minutes of freedom right now, so I figured I’d throw one up really quick. But, since I’m still under some time constraints, I’m going with a post that doesn’t require a whole lot of thought on my part.
A while back, I asked for everyone to leave a comment on a post telling me who they think Fiction’s Greatest Assassin was. There were numerous replies and I put those into a poll and had the reading audience decide who they agreed with. The people voted and the winner was chosen. I’d like to do that again, but with a different focus.
This time I want you to leave a comment with the name of who you think is Fiction’s Greatest Wizard. You can pick any fictional wizard, mage, sorcerer, or magician and give us at least a sentence or two on why you think your choice is the correct choice.
One week from today is when I’ll be gathering the names and putting them into a poll for everyone to vote. Like last time, to ensure fairness, I won’t be making my selection until after everyone else has picked.
So, let us know, people! Who do you think is Fiction’s Greatest Wizard and why?
With 46.6% of the vote, the Merc With the Mouth has won the title of Fiction’s Greatest Assassin in this episode of Versus.
Tied for second, with 13.3 % of the vote were Fitz and Lord Vetinari.
The rest all tied for third with 6.6% of the vote.
I want to take the time to thank all of the wonderful people who submitted answers for this poll. I’d also like to take the time to thank everyone who voted in the poll. I hope everyone thought this experiment was a fun one.
If you have an idea for a Versus question I should submit for answers, feel free to leave it in the comments.
I know I said that I’d put the results of the previous matchup on Versus into the next matchup post, but I’m feeling lazy tonight. I don’t feel like doing a new matchup, so I’m just going to inform you all of the results of the matchup between Matticus‘ Jason Nesmith (Galaxy Quest) and my Portia Lin (Dark Matter).
Receiving 70% of the votes, the winner is…..
Portia Lin!
I want to thank all of you who took the time to cast your votes. Stay tuned for the next episode of Versus. Have a good night, everybody.
It’s the Versus that you’ve all been waiting for! It’s the long anticipated rematch between Matticus and I!
Well, I’m sure at least one of you were anxiously awaiting it anyway.
The first order of business, however, is declaring the winner of the previous Versus post. In Episode 3, I asked you to vote for which of the three Summers brothers was the most badass. Once again, the results didn’t go for who I voted for. You said that Gabriel, or Vulcan as he’s more widely known, was that answer. It’s hard to argue that. After all, he did conquer the Shi’ar Empire. In defense of Alex (Havok), who I voted for, in the War of the Kings storyline, Havok was able to absorb the energy of an entire star and use it to hurt Vulcan pretty badly. Just as Havok was about to put him down for good, he got interrupted and Vulcan managed to escape. Of course, once he had recovered, Vulcan went back to kicking everyone’s ass. There was that one moment though….
The question posed to Matticus and me for this matchup was, “Who is the best starship captain?” Naturally, we both had the same answer at first. The only possible answer to that question is Captain Terry Dadam of The Erratic Sun. Nobody else is even close. Again, we may be biased. So, the question had to be changed to, “Besides him, who is the best starship captain?”
Here is his answer:
Captain Jason Nesmith — Galaxy Quest (1999)
I will admit that Captain Jason Nesmith is an odd choice for best space captain. In the movie Galaxy Quest, Jason Nesmith is an actor who portrays a captain on a TV show, long cancelled, that lives on only through the legions of fans who demand their presence at annual conventions. He isn’t a talented actor. He isn’t a good leader. He isn’t particularly smart. He isn’t even all that likeable. However, it is for precisely these reasons that he becomes the greatest space captain, defying all odds to lead his crew of actors on a successful mission to defeat the evil General Sarris.
His only training was eighteen years prior to taking the helm for real, and that training was only simulation. He wasn’t groomed for the captaincy. He didn’t attend pilot school. He didn’t even know space flight was a real thing until he was called upon to perform at the highest level. And perform he did. First as the actor he had been and then rising to the occasion to be the true captain that was needed.
He had never been in combat before, let alone space combat. The only notion he had was his tagline from his TV show, Never give up. Never surrender. This approach caused him to make some giant mistakes after becoming a Captain for real. However, he learned from those mistakes and quickly adapted to his new role to devise a plan that worked.
He learns to respect his crew and ends up earning their respect as well. He learns to ask for help in situations where he is out of his depth. He learns what it means to rise up from a defeat. He learns what it means to act selflessly. It is this massive combined turn-around in his character that lifts him not just into the highest echelons of space captains but to the pinnacle of that group.
Who else could achieve so much with so little natural talent, so little professional training and experience, and surrounded by a crew who are equally lacking?
Best space captain? There is only one answer: Captain Jason Nesmith.
Now, here is my answer:
PORTIA LIN (DARK MATTER, SYFY)
Kirk, Picard, Solo, Reynolds. There were many of them out there with a higher name recognition factor that I could’ve chosen as my pick for the best starship captain. If you’ve ever watched Dark Matter (New episodes coming to SYFY soon, first two seasons on Netflix), you’ll know that none of them can match the sheer badassery of Portia Lin, leader of the Raza.
The Raza is a spaceship crewed by the scariest group of fighters in the galaxy. They were so good at what they did that rumors began spreading that the Raza is an alien race that kills everything in their path. In command of them is a woman named Portia Lin, the best of them all. Not only is she a skilled hand-to-hand fighter, she’s also very adept at pretty much any weapon she picks up. She’s kicked the ass of pretty much everyone she’s fought.
She can take it just as much as she can dish it out. Her body has been infused with nanites that will either let her avoid injury altogether, or let her recover quicker than should be possible. These nanites allowed her to cure herself of a virus that is usually 100% fatal to those who catch it. They even protected her and allowed her to survive in the vacuum of space.
Sure, you might be thinking to yourself, she’s a badass, but is she really a great captain? Of course she is.
The series starts with the crew of the Raza having their memories erased. Even with none of them remembering anything about their lives before waking up, they all still deferred to her leadership. She led them while they were trying to piece their pasts together. She led them while they were trying to stay one step ahead of the people behind them, even though they didn’t remember who they were running from. She held them together, even though the crew didn’t really trust each other, until they were betrayed by a crew member who had more information about their pasts than the rest.
After the betrayal, Portia and the crew found themselves thrown into the most secure prison in the galaxy. She was able to fight off repeated attempts on their lives, not only from fellow prisoners, but also from the warden. Portia rallied her crew, plus a few other prisoners, and mounted an escape from a place described as “impossible to break out of”
When one of her crew members asked her if they could break out of the impossible prison, she replied, “We‘re the crew of the Raza. You’re damn right we’re doing it.”
That is a Captain.
What do you think, folks? Which of those two contenders do you think better fits the bill of the best starship captain. Let us know with your votes.
I think I finally have this poll thing worked out. If you look at my last Versus post, you’ll notice that the poll is actually closed. It turns out that you have to close them manually. What I thought was the length of time that the poll ran was actually the amount of time that could pass between the same person (IP address) being able to vote. I guess I need to pay more attention to what it says above the dropdown options instead of what’s inside of them.
Now that I’ve got this sorted, I’m going to be doing them for all future Versus posts. Matticus and I will be doing a rematch sometime to make up for the fiasco that was our first attempt (although we haven’t decided yet what the matchup will be). I’m also willing to go toe to toe with anyone else that wants to jump into the proverbial arena with me. If you’d like to challenge me in Versus, fill out the form below.
Also, I will be giving the results of the previous matchup in the new posts, if you don’t feel like going back to the old posts to look it up. In Episode 2, I asked who you all thought was the more annoying video game party member, Carth (Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic), Sera (Dragon Age: Inquisition), or Louis (Left 4 Dead). The results are in and, despite the fact that I voted for Sera, the winner of this matchup was……. Carth! The people have spoken, Carth, and they said that you annoy the crap out of them.
This Episode’s Matchup:
MOST BADASS SUMMERS BROTHER: SCOTT (CYCLOPS) VS. ALEX (HAVOK) VS. GABRIEL (VULCAN)
I’m going to get lazy with this one. Instead of trying to describe them all to you, I’m just going to “borrow” what’s already written about them at ComicVine.
Scott: Cyclops possesses the mutant ability to project powerful beams of heatless force from his eyes, which act as extra-dimensional apertures to a source of pure energy. Cyclops constantly absorbs ambient sunlight into his body’s cells, metabolizing the energy in order to open the apertures. The maximum force of Cyclops’ blasts is unknown, but a commonly given description is that they can “punch holes through mountains”, and he has been shown rupturing steel plates and pulverizing solid rock. It has been stated that Cyclops uses only a fraction of his vast potential energy output. His more powerful optic blasts can demolish fully-armored tanks, severely damage Sentinels, and obliterate entire icebergs. Cyclops’ mutation has been altered after his prolonged exposure to the Phoenix Force, resulting in a much greater power output.
Alex: Havok is a extremely powerful mutant possessing the power to absorb ambient cosmic energy, process it and emanate it from his body as waves of energy that heat the air in the path, turning it into plasma in the form of a blast or discharge, with a tell-tale concentric circle pattern. These waves will emanate from his body in all directions unless he purposefully tries to channel them in a single direction, usually along the length of his arms. This results in control over an extremely powerful sort of destructive force. He is immune to the adverse effects of most forms of radiation and heat. In the past, he was not entirely able to control this ability, which made him a danger to those around him unless he wore a special containment suit equipped with special sensors for measuring and controlling his power output. Havok is immune to his own powers and to those of his brother Scott. He is resistant but not immune to Vulcan’s powers.
Gabriel: Vulcan is an omega level mutant. He can manipulate all forms of energy. Charles Xavier commented that he is the most powerful energy manipulator he has ever come across. His psionic powers even allow him to control the psionic powers of others as he was able to control Rachel Summers’ telepathy and prevent her from actually accessing her telekinesis or telepathy without his consent (though she later learned to prevent him from inhibiting her). He can also control more esoteric energies like Cyclops’ optic force blasts and Adam Warlock’s spells. Vulcan also appears able to absorb energies from almost any source. Vulcan has similar powers to that of his brothers, as they are each able to absorb certain kinds of energies and rechannel that energy from their bodies. Though his brothers, Cyclops and Havok, are known to be immune to each others powers, they are apparently not immune to Vulcan’s (he manages to hurt Cyclops with no apparent trouble). This may be due to Vulcan’s extremely high power level or his ability to control energies.
So, dear readers, which mutant Summers brother do you think is the most badass? Vote now!
33 Grams of Blog 