Yes, I’m telling on myself for this one. It happened about 12 years ago when I was working at Hellmart. I was working in the automotive department at the time, when a lady came up to me with a question about something in the hardware department. Since there was nobody in the hardware department, I had to help her myself.

I walked with her over to the aisle where we had the nails. She was looking for a particular type of nail that we carried, we just happened to be out of them. I left her for a minute so I could get the hand-held scanner. When I came back she had a pissy look on her face. I ignored the look and scanned the bar code. On the screen it would tell me if the product was “On Order” (we’d get some in sometime between 2-14 days) or “In Transit” (on that night’s truck). There was a zero in both columns.

I told her that we didn’t have any right now and that, at the moment, none were ordered. After that, I told her to call the store the next morning and talk to the department manager because he would be able to order them for her. She got really pissy with me when I told her that. Even after I told her that there was no way for me to be able to look up when those nails were going to be coming back in, she kept asking me over and over again. Each time she asked me, her voice got more and more angry and I was becoming more and more annoyed.

Finally, she rolled her eyes and asked, “Isn’t there anybody else here? You know, somebody that knows how to answer a @#$%ing question.”

I’d had enough. I looked her right in the eyes and said, “Blow me.” I walked away.

The rest of the night I was waiting to hear, “Revis, come back to the manager’s office,” over the intercom. The call never came. I guess the bitch never told on me, because I never heard anything about it after that. I got lucky.