There has been something in the media that has been bothering me.
This whole "real woman" thing.
First off I do not think the whole starvation chic look is cute and it is incredibly damaging. I know that saying that "real women are curvy" and "do not look like that" is a backlash against the disgusting notion that to look beautiful you have to do heroin and starve yourself.

My entire life I have been told I am blessed for being thin while being told an equal amount of times that women look better with a bit of meat on their bones. During all of this I felt ill nearly every time I ate due to an undiagnosed  autoimmune disorder that caused mouth ulcers, a whole lot of TMI stomach problems, tingly in my hands, growth delay, an appetite that fluctuated between eating everything in sight or feeling dreadfully sick after two bites, fainting, and being accused of eating disorders

And like every other person I wished I could look like someone else. Like Christina Hendricks or Kate Winslet, the so called “real women”. Even wished I was not a girl at all when I was younger.
 However I have come to accept that due to genetics, a fast metabolism, undetected celiac disease and intense love of black coffee, that I will probably always teeter on the rather slender side. I however do have chest and rather round bottom, adding a little bit of curves to a bony frame. It is the body I have and the body I try to feed good things too. (And by good I mean lots of black coffee, because coffee is the best thing to do for your body…right?)

Some women are really rail thin. Some women aren’t.
I think this “real women have curves” bullshit is just telling us that our bodies define our womanhood. And that telling us that men like women with a little more weight… is just telling us to tie up our self-worth on what a man thinks. Which is complete bollocks, not to mention offensive and maybe even a bit sexist. We don’t exist for men (or anyone) to ogle at.

A woman is not a sum of her genitalia, body parts and fat.
We are women because of a whole lot of reasons.
Some women go to work and weld. Some women are nurses and some are doctors. Some are biochemists, some are engineers. Some are maids. Some are soldiers. Some are moms.  Some are servers, bartenders are retail clerks. Some are teachers. Some, like me devote their lives to caring for children. Some are and do more than all of these things.
Some are transgendered.  Some don’t want to identify as women. Some wear skirts. Some wear trousers. Some fall in love with women and some fall in love with men. Some don’t see gender at all. Some are asexual.
Some will die young because of choices they have made, or because of cancer or a car accident. Some will live to a very old age. Some are quite geeky. Some are crazy clumsy. Some are graceful. Some will have to try just a little bit harder and be a little bit stronger because life hasn’t been kind. Some will smile their way through the pain.

But every single one is a real woman. Because being real is not defined by what number appears when you step on a scale, but from a strength and knowledge that is held inside.