So often lately have I heard of an event the school holds called Prom. It is apparently a type of ceremony where the students dress nicely and dance. Entry to this event is costly and it all seems very frivolous. I am not an acquaintance to many of the students in my class, however this topic seems to bridge the gap between strangers. Lately I have been asked again and again about what I am wearing and with whom I am going with to this event. The fuss seems quite unnecessary and irrelevant to the purpose of the school. It is rather tiresome having to tell these girls, and the endless boys who I do not know who ask me to go with them, that I have no interest in going. It could hardly compare to a Trojan party of old.

I only wish to be left alone.[deleted;]

I had meant for this entry to be used in asking my fellow classmates for the notes of the days I had missed while I was traveling with my brother, but it seems there are more pressing matters at hand.

Last night I retired to my room alone, as we had only arrived just arrived back to New York. This morning I awoke in the arms of a man whom I have never seen before in my life. He says his name is Jackson and he claims to be my husband of fifteen years. He refuses to leave me alone. The doors to the complex are locked and I've little choice but to find solitude in my closet.

Whatever gods remain, give me strength as I am only mortal and I am not strong.[deleted;]

( Private entry beneath cutCollapse )

[Public Video]

[She had meant to end the entry at her own reverie, but accidentally turned on the video function.

The view makes it apparent that the computer is farther away from Polyxena as you can see her full body. She is on the roof of the building, seemingly unphased by the cold. She's wearing a peacoat, dress, tight and boots. She's sitting on the ledge, her legs swinging off the edge of the building.

Looking out at the cityscape she seems very deep in thought, she's still as a statue minus the wind blowing her hair around. After a while she looks back and realizes the computer is still on. She reaches forward and slams the laptop shut and the feed cuts off. Replies will be made at a later time.]

Brother. Can we please talk?

Eighteen.

I know little of how our calendar translates to the modern one, but whatever the case, I never thought I should see myself at this age.


[ooc: Let's pretend this was posted at a more decent hour in the morning. 8 or 9? My late-night habits shouldn't be put on Polyxena.]

There are so very many celebrations and holidays going on in such a short period of time, yet they are all but one day long. It is a strange contrast to festivals that would last a week or more at home, though, that was long ago and my childish view of them is not a proper medium through which to reflect.

It is stranger still that, though, there should be so many of these holidays when the weather is so inclement. What is there to celebrate when we all seem to be so miserable?

[Filter: Helenus]

I apologize for such a belated acknowledgment, I have not moved much from the refuge of my bed these last days, but I thank you for the shopping trip we made on Monday and the clothing. I am much warmer for it.

I will make it up to you however I can, I promise. No protestations will be heard to this, Helenus.

[Filter: Private]

I was so close, but death himself did not desire my return. I cannot question death, I want only to embrace it, but even then I do not see the logic behind it all, I belong in the Underworld. But do I... do I have the courage to kill myself?

No.

How could I do that to my family here? Even if I can see that they are both so foolishly friendly to the man who killed our father, our brothers, me. The former offenses are unforgivable, the latter inconsequential, but those with the gift of foresight should see better than all that he is not to be trusted and treated so. Why are they so blind?

[Filter: Public]

It is very cold here, my lips and fingers are beginning to crack from the dryness of the air. I can barely stand to go outside, but I had to venture out the other day with the administration of the school they expect me to attend. I suppose there is some merit in educating oneself, but I am only to be there a few months and there is no monetary profit to support myself in doing this. I believe I could find employment to fill the rest of the hours of my day, but I am unsure what I would best suit. In any case, I think it is less trouble to comply, and I shall.

It was strange, the woman that I met with was quite kind until she learned of my address. She asked me if I was going to cause trouble as the other students living in this complex do. She gave names, but I was unfamiliar with them all-- I suppose they were the aliases we have been given. I told her I had no intentions of misbehaving, I was not raised to act in such a manner, but she still treated me as coldly as the weather outside. It was all very strange and almost infuriating to be treated so.

[Filter: Private]

I feel it all. Every tiny pricking sensation, every chill, every bit of sadness, every spec of guilt, every little, stinging pain. I feel it all. As if it was all just minutes, not centuries, ago.

If I am here, do I dare ask who else has been taken from their place of rest? I cannot face any of them in this state after what I have done. I cannot face him after what I have done. Gods give me strength.

[Filter: Public]

I am not supposed to be here. A reversal of death itself is unnatural. Is nothing sacred anymore?