Well, hello all. It's me again. I decided i might write i little bit in here seeing as i am a slacker and hardly ever update my journal. So.. what's going on in my life.... well i'll tell you. Just recently found out that i lost the HOPE scholarship. Sucks. i haven't even hit 30 hours yet! What happened was, no one told me about this passing 66% of all hours (even attempted) or you lose the ability to have financial aid... of ANY kind. Well, that first semester has come back to bite me in the ass. However, since i haven't hit 30 hours yet, i can get it back for Spring Semester IF i can get my GPA up to a 3.0. Everyone keep your fingers crossed... PLEASE!!!! Last Monday, after work, i left Lovejoy to go to Savannah, Ga. FUN TIMES!! I got to stay with William. He had classes all week, but that's ok because while i was there i got to find out about that whole HOPE thing AND i got to sign the lease for my apartment in Statesboro. Woo Hoo! I have an apartment..i have an apartment. OK, sorry, i'm a bit excited, the only downside is... i have to work my ass off to 1. PAY for the apartment, 2. to PAY for tuition for FALL semester and 3. to get my GPA up so i can STAY at school. I also get to transfer to the Savannah Kroger in August (when school starts) so unfortunately, i probably wont be coming home as often as i did last semester, which wasn't very often in the first place. Sorry! Anyway, i got to see my Will, which is always a good thing. I miss him so much. And it SUCKS that he doesn't have a phone or a computer. I have to wait until he goes to the library to just get an email from him. He went home this weekend to pick up his car, and he was supposed to call me... but he didn't. sad. Oh well, hopefully i'll get an email from him tonight or the next day. I'm sooo tired lately. I have no time... for anything. You guys are lucky i even have time to do this! I've been working everyday trying to save up some cash. Which reminds me i have to go to the bank.. i need to do that... tomorrow i guess. work, work, work... that's all i do.. then i get home and sleep. and it's getting real hard for me to sleep lately. I don't get to go out with friends as much as i'd like to because i either have to be at work at 8 in the morning.. OR i have to work until 12 at night. GRRR!!! I hate being stressed out about stupid shit.... SIGH... i'm hungry.. i haven't eaten all day.. think i'm gonna go make some food now.. hopefully this entry will satisfy some of you enough until i get time to update again. I love you all.
~KIM

Hokay, so... Where to begin... Welp, i'm home for the summer. I did well this second semester.. All A's and one B. Not so bad huh? I'm still working at Kroger, trying to save up to afford to live in Campus Club Apartments next year. Me and Will are still ... whatever you want to call it. He just started Summer Semester at Armstrong Atlantic in Savannah. I miss him a bunch. Today was my 8th day straight working without a day off. Tomorrow will be number nine i think. But THANK YOU GOD i have Thursday off. Because of work i haven't had much time to hang out with anyone lately. I didn't even get to say good bye to Holly for the summer before she left to go to FL for that whole church camp thing. But ya know, the phone works both ways so... whatever.. i'll see her again. Last night Blizzard called me so i went and picked him up around 6pm and we drove around fayetteville for a little bit, passed Anthony on his way to tinseltown with his date, and eventually ended up at Waffle House. Stephen and I sat and talked for quite a while. I called Danny and Stephen got to talk to Dan and Brian for a few. Danny ended up coming up to Waffle House to hang out with Stephen. We stayed up there talking for hours on end. It was getting close to 10pm and we had moved to the parking lot outside of WaHo to check out Danny's new truck and continue talking. Anthony called afterwhile and brought his date, Amy (whom i graduated with..she's super nice and really cute.. keep your fingers crossed kids!!!), up to waffle house to say Hello. They left after about 15 minutes or so to go do whatever.. because they WERE on a date folks! Stephen had gotten a phone call.. it was his girl calling and he walked off into the night to talk to her for what seemed like a good part of an hour. So i was left with Danny. Man i miss that boy. I forgot how funny he is and how much i liked hanging out with him. Of course i used his talents to my advantage and got some serious back massages out of him... i'm so mean! But no, i seriously was excited to hang out with him. We SORTA have plans to watch Dave Chapelle together one night this week or the next.. whenever i have a day/night off!! I miss talkin to the boy... it really was nice to see him again. When me and Stephen were waiting for Danny to show up he mentioned that i have dated like all of his friends... and it's kinda true! Casey, Eddie, Danny, kissed a couple others.. i just made a little circle.. i'm such a whore. Oh well, that's over and done with. But all in all, last night was pretty fun. I'm glad i went out. It was nice to have a good time. I've been so sad lately. Will is in SAV. now and i have no way of communicating with him. He has no phone and no internet service. He told me he was going to email me his class schedule today, but so far... no email. Not only was i looking forward to his email just because i miss him, but i need that email so i can request off the days for next week or so when i can come visit him. Grr.. i guess it's just frustrating and i'm already a bit stressed out about it and just grr. Well, it's getting kinda late and this is getting kinda long so i think i'm just going to end it......here--->X haha. Have a nice day! Much love kids!!

Updating, updating, updating, updating....sorry... i'm too bored to actually update something right now, but just to let you know.. i'm thinkin about it!! :) Gotta go write a paper in a couple of hours. After i go bowling...that's my other homework... i'm not even kidding. I have a bowling class and my homework is to...go bowling over the weekends and during the weeknights... it's GREAT!! Anyway... you should have seen what me and my friend Shannon just did. We are in the computer lab in our dorm and i was bored so i stretched out over three of the computer chairs... well shannon gets the great idea to push me in my centipede-like state down the dorm hallways laughing as hard as she can. It catches much attention and i almost was tossed from the chair as we roll down the hall toward our RA's room. Krystal (our RA) is on the phone with her mommy. Krystal's mom said hello and told us to be careful as i now push Shannon down the hall back towards the computer lab. Upon entering the computer lab, Shannon's un-coordinating skills are shown as she very ungracefully falls from the three chairs and lands right on her ass. Ahhh....a wonderful night in Veazey Hall!! Fun times be had by all!

Alright, so i would like to thank the FEW people that called me or IMed me about my wreck, especially CASeY who called me quite a few times and IMed me like every night to ask if i was ok and just to talk in general. Thanks babe, you rock! Kyle IMed me and my friend Genna called me and even Chris D. IMed me. Zech called me too, but that was not the greatest phone call really. I think i am falling out of touch with him. The last 2 phone calls i've had from him just really upset me and pissed me off. I don't know what's wrong. We used to be best friends, thick as thieves we were. Nothing could tear us apart. Then he moved and things changed. I didn't get to see him everyday and i missed him terribly. We've always been to where we could not talk for months and pick up right where we left off...not skipping a beat. We had a wavelengh, we were soulmates. But it's gone now, or it's quickly fading away. I can't really talk with him the way i used to. Maybe it was because before all this, we still loved each other. Don't get me wrong i still love the boy, but everything is different now. I'm not blaming anyone, but his relationship with Hannah has changed our relationship. I never really liked Hannah...when i first met her i did, but then something happened, i don't remember what and we never really became friends or anything. Hannah is a good girl, i really have nothing against her. I'm sure relationship wise she has helped Zech and opened his eyes to new things and that is ALWAYS a plus. But after they met, he's not been the same towards me. We hung out for maybe an hour over the break, it was akward for me. Something was missing, maybe it was mutual adoration that we have lost or ... i just don't know, but i feel i've lost my best friend. He makes comments towards me now out of the blue that just annoy me. They are somewhat rude, though i don't think they are meant to be, they are just phrased incorrectly. It upsets me and i don't like it. I want my best friend. The one i could talk to about everything. The one who could sit in the Target parking lot and talk with me while i painted his nails. The one who would charge me in the school parking lot like a bull just to give me our daily hug. The one that would drive around with me all night listening to Bittersweet Symphony. The one that would take me to Homecomming because my boyfriend didn't want to. The one who told me i was beautiful when i felt like crap. The Zech White i used to know and love is gone. And possibly never returning. I have lost my bestfriend.....and maybe for good.

As you all know...or MIGHT know... i am not too fond of my college roommate Carlin Nicole Tennent. She is the complete opposite of me and i hate it! She's tall, completely tan, skinny, concieted, a real BITCH ya know? Anyway, last night she's bitching on the phone to her boyfriend like she does all day and all night every freaking day! I just couldn't take it so i decide to go take a LONG, HOT shower because i'm still sore and it would feel SOO good. As i am walking out the door i turn around and tell carly...DON'T lock me out, i'll be right back. You are going to be in here right? She said yea. I get out of the shower, back to my room, to find the door, LOCKED. I'm standing in the hallway of my coed dorm in nohing but a bathrobe. Thank god i took my cell phone with me...i was waiting for a call. Anyway, i call her and she's like...Oh well i went to go get some food, i'll be right back ok? I'm like..NO!! it's NOT ok! I mean damn! Have i not had a stressful enough weekend? I lose my car, i lose my job, My head hurts, my legs hurt, my arms are sore, i have no money, I'll prolly be getting a ticket for the accident, Will is and hour away and i can't even go see him, he's working 12 some odd hours a day and can't call me but for maybe 5 minutes before he crashes out for the night, if even THAT. I miss him and there's nothing i can do. I can't go drive ANYWHERE. I can't afford a new car. The people i'm trying to sell my car to won't return my calls and i can't even call them right now cause i can't get into my fucking room... yea, that's right. She did it again! I went to the computer lab to sign off the computer...3 minutes maybe right. I said, i'm going down the hall, don't lock me out. I get back to my room and the BITCH has done it again. I have no shoes on and no homework. She is making me miss my 330 class because she decides she will go to her class...what? 30 minutes early?
What the FUCK is her problem? I mean damnit all to fucking hell!! I am so INCREDIBLY pissed off right now i don't know what to do. I'm shaking i'm so mad... OH!! man i'm so gonna punch her in her fucking face...break that HUGE nose of hers!! OMD!!! i'm gonna kill her... smother her in her sleep or something..DAMNIT!! i think i'll lock her out next time she goes to take a shower. not answer the phone, leave her there...naked in the hallway. That might work. but i still wanna punch her. Just hurt her real good. Damn.. i'm mean. *SIGH* i need to go now.... go do....SOMETHING....ANYTHING.... haha.. i can't even go outside... my KEYS are in the fucking room....Got DAMNIT!!

Well, well, well...let me tell you MY day has been interesting! So I'm leaving my bestest friend Jessica Lea Nance's apartment EARLY this morning right? We had a long wonderful night of watching Lord Of The Rings I, II, and III!!! It was wonderfultastic! So, i'm like freaking tired and i start to go back to the dorm... Well, for some ODD reason i take a right out of Jessie's apartment complex instead of a LEFT. Not noticing what i am doing... By the time i realize it I figure i can just take the connector at the next light and get on 301 bypass and head straight for the dorm. Well...this is really a long about way to get there and i kinda nod off once or twice... i crack the windows and blare the music thinking that will help keep me awake for another 5-10 minutes right? Apparently NOT. The next thing i know i look up to see myself headed straight for the back of a blue little church-like van. I scream some profanities and jerk my steering wheel to the left and hit the breaks attempting to avoid this van. Didn't work. I slam right into the back left corner of the van and completely maim my car. It all happened so fast. I look in the rear view mirror to see blue lights flashing...well, at least i didn't have to call the cops...they were already there. My head is hurting pretty bad and so is my left knee. I look down in the floor between my feet to see that damn rear view mirror. When i hit the van the mirror flew off and hit me in the head causing a very sore bump. I get out of the car and talk to the cop a bit. Asked if everyone else was ok. He called a paramedic and made me get checked out. I was the only one that was really hurt. I walk off to the side of the road and call my good pal Jessie. It was an interesting conversation. She had already fallen asleep. She sounded somewhat irate as she answered the phone. Nonchalantly i asked if she could come pick me up because i just got into a wreck and totaled my car. She freaked for a second and then said she was on her way. I didn't even see her get there. The next thing i knew she was behind me. The whole time it was only me and 2 cops standing outside...in the cold...while the cops tried to get my car out from underneath the van. As the wrecker showed up the people in the van began to get out. I swear to goodness, that little 10 person van at the MOST was full of at LEAST 20 mexicans. They didn't even speak english!! Grrr! So, the cop told me and Jessie that there was nothing else they needed me for and that we could leave. He told us where my car was being towed and told me who to call and when, for insurance purposes and whatnot. He didn't even give me a ticket! I was and still am a bit confused about that one..but HEY, don't question it! So me and Jess went back to her apartment and i called my mom and dad...again i was so nonchalant about it. My mom answered the phone..I was like HEY!! Whatcha doin? She proceeded to tell me about breakfast foods and whatnot. I replied with.. oh, well that sounds like fun...at least more than i had this morning...i was just calling to let you know that i got into a wreck and i totaled my car. A few "Oh MY GOD's!!" and ARE YOU OK's???? later and they had decided they were coming to Statesboro!! So me and Jess went and cleaned out my car and went back to her apartment and ordered Pizza. I fell asleep. I thought i was only out for like 5 or so minutes, but the next thing i know the pizza was already there. So, i munched on some pizza and went back to sleep until my mom called and we went to meet the rents at my dorm. I took Mom and Dad to see my car. It's so bad! It's completely NOT drivable. The hood is crumpled up like a paper fan, the whole right front end looks like i ran into a pole or something cause it's got a HUGE dent like hole thing in it...it makes me sad. I had JUST gotten a new windshield and it is no longer new and perfect and pretty. It has a hole in the right bottom corner and it's completely spider-webbed. My radiator was pushed up into my front end causing a bunch of damage. The "mullet mobile" is no more. It is a sad, sad day for the 1984 Camero. Sad indeed. My baby is broken forever. Now my entire body aches all over. Muscles i didn't even know i had hurt. After writing this and reliving it in my head.. i am now ready for a LONG night of rest. Good night to all. I love you, everyone. Thank you Jessie for taking care of me and being there for me! You rock my world!! I would type more because so much more happened today but my arms hurt from typing so i am stopping..i'll type more tomorrow.....maybe.
~KIM

Well, New Years was fun... Went over to Anthony's. Got drunk. Had some good conversations... yes CASeY, i do remember. Tried to help people who were sad... It's really weird to go to a party and see two ex-boyfriends... who are actually friends with each other and talk with them like nothing was ever serious like that between you...difficult to explain.. i'm sure someone understands what i mean. Anyway! I'm sorry to everyone at the party that had to take care of me. Thank you all, i appreciate it greatly. So, i'm back at school now. My grades SUCKED last semester and i have to get my GPA up to a 3.0 by the end of this semester otherwise my Mom will be making me go to Clayton State or something close to home... sucks. So i guess i'll see you all a LOT more next year... there's no way i'll be able to pull off a 3.0 by next the end of this semester. Will isn't at school this semseter...it sucks. I miss seeing him everyday. However, maybe i'll be a bit more motivated to go to class because i won't be distracted by him, not that it wasn't a GOOD distraction...but yea. But I don't have anyone to hang out with now. My nights used to be spent with him...every once in a while i was with Jessie or Shannon or Colleen. So, i've been hanging out with Mike a bunch lately (Nick's roommate). Mikey is SOOO super sweet and so much fun to hang out with. I think i piss him off when i talk about Will around him. We've been talking a lot though. We like the same music and stuff. We have a lot in common. I think Will gets a little jealous that i'm hanging out with other guys too. It's like..well damn it!! I just can't win. But i like Mikey so ... screw it! I mean.. he shared his weed with me! Hells yea!! I feel bad for him... his girlfriend, well, EX-girlfriend, Laura, she was such a BITCH to him. He didn't deserve the hand he was dealt with that one. Mike has such a low self-esteem. I blame Laura and stupid elementary kids. He puts himself down all the time. I don't understand why. I see nothing wrong with the boy. He thinks he's fat or something. That's never really been a issue to me.. i mean yea, there are some people who are just like...WHOA you are unhealthy fat. But Mike's not like that. He's just built like a football player. He reminds me a bit of Robert just a LOT taller... no offense Bob!! Anyway, we are working on building some confidence... tryin to get him out there and dating again!!! I will succeed...hopefully. Mike's GREAT, he's just shy and not outspoken enough. But yea, he rocks. Moving on... I'm staying with Jessie!! WOOHOO FUN TIMES TO BE HAD!!! She rocks my world!! Just ask "Steve," her Canadian friend...haha!! Anyway, i miss Will. He said he'd call me tonight and he didn't. :( oh well. I'll talk to him tomorrow...prolly. I love him. He's so great now. Once he was like... Wow... Kim is GREAT! I shouldn't make her sad. He changed his attitude towards me...in a good way. And i love his Family... they are super sweet too. He said he might be moving out. He should live in the dorm with ME! It would be funny. Well, i think so. Well kids, it's getting a bit late and i'm just rambling on now. Guess i'll talk to Jessie or something. Much Love Everyone!!

This is how I know... The way you look at me, when you look me right in the eye and you don't say a word, but I know what you are thinking. You look me in the eye and at that moment I feel like i should laugh, smile, cry, and scream out loud all at the same time. That look you give me tells me how you feel and the way I feel when you give me that look tells me how I feel. THAT is how i know. Answer your question?

Hey every one!! Well, Christmas Break is upon us and I only have one thing to say... Lord Of The Rings, Tonight, 6:30, Be there or...DIE!! *Evil Glare* OK, now that that's out of the way.. how about an update!!?? School sucked, grades sucked, Boys rock!!, friends...haven't seen very many of them yet..but tonight is the nite!!, family...lets just not go there... Ok...so that was a quick recap of my life so far. Everyone keeping up? How is everyone else? Seeing as i really only have like... 3 or 4 people read my journal i don't think it's too much for you few people to resond and tell how your life is going so far... sooo.... drop me a line and say WHAT'S UP?! Talk to you kids later...or see some of you tonite!! Much love!

Why do i pick the ones i do? Why do i pick the ones that want to make me cry? Why can't i cry? Where have my tears gone? Am I so emotionally distraught and stressed out that i can no longer formulate tears? Why must he do this to me? Why must i do this to him? Why must the world be full of such turmoil? Why must hearts be broken? Why is jealousy an emotion that i feel and hate and loath the very feelings of it? Why are there emotions that make you hurt? Who would do this to the human race? God, that's who...he must know what he's doing, but i can tell you one thing..i hate feeling all of these things and i hate going though all this emotional stress. I wish it would all go away. I wish he would come talk to me. I wish things made sense in my life. I wish my parents would leave me alone sometimes. I wish i could say everything was going to be ok. But i can't. I can't get rid of how i feel and i can't make myself stop feeling this way and i can't make all the pain i feel go away. Only he can. and i doubt he will. Don't ya just hate that?