Its here, 2014 is here.
I dont know if I should rise my hopes high or just letting the wind lead the way. 2013 had been fucked up in an on and off way, Im glad its over for the most part. I've achived one of my goals unexpectedly in the last minutes last year. But its not like mind blowing or wow or holy shit ! moment it just it is.
I finally got to see Fall Out Boy after becoming a fan for almost 9 years not including the fucking hiatus that drove me insane. So I went to Jakarta on October 17th ditching my job for 3 days and got to see them live in front of me for real for the first fucking time.
Maybe I expected too much ? Because you see, it was just an okay gig not great or wow just okay. Not to mention the numbers of kids coming there. I mean kids for real 14, 15 I guess. Wow I feel so old. And they dressed up in flowers dress and high heels for a rock concert ? Fucking dumbass. I wonder where were all the fans from Take This to Your Grave era went. Anyway Ive seen them live, big deal. One point for me.
But months away before that happened there was this stupid announcement from this stupid band that change my life for the last 9 years straight. Oh what an irony ! You got to see your number two favorite band and lost the chance to see your number one forbloodyhellever. They broke up man, My Chemical Romance broke up. Kids in the future will only remember One Direction or Bieber. You're missing the point of your life here. March 22nd 2013 will forever be marked as a satan day on my calender. FUCK YOU MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE !
But I guess 2013 was a good year again for our lovely Toma. Yay ! Tons of movies, dramas and a song ! Way to go sunshine !
To be honest I kind of afraid of what the future will hold me but also excited really. I dont know, I feel like this year is going to be huge for me but hey I said that too last year you know so..
Anyway this year lets have a less over analyze shits too much yeah ? Its getting hard to live in your mind when it starts to eat you alive with shits you dont even know exist. My mind is like playing tricks on me, its like it lives on its own and made up its own story. Its fucking scary believe me. I begin to question my sanity few times a day for the last couple months. I think about therapy though. Lets not went back to that.
I still have to working on my self esteem, self hatred, depression, anxiety and other serious shits because its getting old and I yet not get over it. I dont know if I want to get over it actually because sometimes I feel like they've become permanent part of me ? I dont know what Ive become without them and I never imagined my self that way. Im weird.
So looks like 2014 will be another long way to go with surprising up and down hills, confusing left or rights turn and thick times to stop at the gas station to fill the gas.
Its the same game that seek for sense of belonging that have been longing for the past few years. Who am I ? What Im gonna do ? What do I want ? How to make myself useful ? Its about survive loneliness, be more wise at decisions, work harder, more money, set the priority. Family comes first.
This year tho I wish to get band members tweet me back. Just please acknowledge my existence.
A Ryden wont hurt because wow it's been 4 years since I ship them and I stil do. I thought it was a phase it's hurt much. And RYAN ROSS GO RELEASE SOME FUCKING REAL ALBUM OKAY. Oh I wish to go see some shows again this year. I dont know who maybe new bands with new stuffs or old band with new rad songs.
A little more Tomapi please.
But the top list of course about going home this year to see the family and hope for a change.
My Chemical Romance Best Hits on January 21st. The last album the band will ever be released. Prepare some tissue.
2014 will be rad.
I dont know if I should rise my hopes high or just letting the wind lead the way. 2013 had been fucked up in an on and off way, Im glad its over for the most part. I've achived one of my goals unexpectedly in the last minutes last year. But its not like mind blowing or wow or holy shit ! moment it just it is.
I finally got to see Fall Out Boy after becoming a fan for almost 9 years not including the fucking hiatus that drove me insane. So I went to Jakarta on October 17th ditching my job for 3 days and got to see them live in front of me for real for the first fucking time.
Maybe I expected too much ? Because you see, it was just an okay gig not great or wow just okay. Not to mention the numbers of kids coming there. I mean kids for real 14, 15 I guess. Wow I feel so old. And they dressed up in flowers dress and high heels for a rock concert ? Fucking dumbass. I wonder where were all the fans from Take This to Your Grave era went. Anyway Ive seen them live, big deal. One point for me.
But months away before that happened there was this stupid announcement from this stupid band that change my life for the last 9 years straight. Oh what an irony ! You got to see your number two favorite band and lost the chance to see your number one forbloodyhellever. They broke up man, My Chemical Romance broke up. Kids in the future will only remember One Direction or Bieber. You're missing the point of your life here. March 22nd 2013 will forever be marked as a satan day on my calender. FUCK YOU MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE !
But I guess 2013 was a good year again for our lovely Toma. Yay ! Tons of movies, dramas and a song ! Way to go sunshine !
To be honest I kind of afraid of what the future will hold me but also excited really. I dont know, I feel like this year is going to be huge for me but hey I said that too last year you know so..
Anyway this year lets have a less over analyze shits too much yeah ? Its getting hard to live in your mind when it starts to eat you alive with shits you dont even know exist. My mind is like playing tricks on me, its like it lives on its own and made up its own story. Its fucking scary believe me. I begin to question my sanity few times a day for the last couple months. I think about therapy though. Lets not went back to that.
I still have to working on my self esteem, self hatred, depression, anxiety and other serious shits because its getting old and I yet not get over it. I dont know if I want to get over it actually because sometimes I feel like they've become permanent part of me ? I dont know what Ive become without them and I never imagined my self that way. Im weird.
So looks like 2014 will be another long way to go with surprising up and down hills, confusing left or rights turn and thick times to stop at the gas station to fill the gas.
Its the same game that seek for sense of belonging that have been longing for the past few years. Who am I ? What Im gonna do ? What do I want ? How to make myself useful ? Its about survive loneliness, be more wise at decisions, work harder, more money, set the priority. Family comes first.
This year tho I wish to get band members tweet me back. Just please acknowledge my existence.
A Ryden wont hurt because wow it's been 4 years since I ship them and I stil do. I thought it was a phase it's hurt much. And RYAN ROSS GO RELEASE SOME FUCKING REAL ALBUM OKAY. Oh I wish to go see some shows again this year. I dont know who maybe new bands with new stuffs or old band with new rad songs.
A little more Tomapi please.
But the top list of course about going home this year to see the family and hope for a change.
My Chemical Romance Best Hits on January 21st. The last album the band will ever be released. Prepare some tissue.
2014 will be rad.
Just listen to: Shadow Moses - Bring Me The Horizon
Just feeling: 
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