Quote Investigator® – Tracing Quotations

Proverb Origin: A Fish Wouldn’t Get Caught If It Kept Its Mouth Shut

Carol Mangiaracina? R. S. Bond? T. J. Ruddy? George Korber? Anonymous?

**Illustration of a Common Perch from The N. Y. Public Library Digital Collection**

Question for Quote Investigator: The following humorous proverb encourages a person to remain silent:

A fish wouldn’t get caught if it kept its mouth shut.

Would you please explore the provenance of this saying?

Reply from Quote Investigator: This saying is difficult to trace because it can be expressed in many ways. Here is an overview with dates which summarizes the evolution:

1891 Nov: Man is a good deal like a fish. You know, the fish would never get in very serious trouble if it kept its mouth shut.

1902 May: A fish can avoid a lot of trouble by keeping its mouth shut. So can the house furnishing buyer.

1915 Jul: A man like a fish can generally avoid being caught by keeping his mouth shut.

1920 Jun: Consider the fish; he never gets caught so long as he keeps his mouth shut.

1921 Oct: Even a fish won’t get caught if it keeps its mouth shut.

1923 Nov: Even a fish would not get caught if it would just keep its darn mouth shut.

1934 Mar: It’s when he doesn’t keep his mouth shut that a fish gets caught and that’s when some people get into trouble, too.

1958 Jan: What did one fish say to the other fish? Keep your mouth shut and you won’t get caught.

2020 Aug: Even a fish won’t get caught if it keeps its mouth shut.

Below are selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: They Should Have Sufficient Arms and Ammunition to Maintain a Status of Independence

George Washington? Philip M. Crane? W. Cleon Skousen? Paul Broun? Apocryphal?

**Illustration of a pistol with Romanesque ornamentation**

Question for Quote Investigator: The following statement about armaments has been attributed to one of the Founding Fathers of the United States:

A free people ought not only to be armed and disciplined, but they should have sufficient arms and ammunition to maintain a status of independence from any who might attempt to abuse them, which would include their own government.

Although these words are usually credited to George Washington, I am skeptical because I have never seen a solid citation. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1790 George Washington delivered an address to the United States Senate and the House of Representatives. Washington promoted the domestic manufacture of weapons and ammunition. Washington had experienced great difficulties obtaining supplies for the Continental Army during the Revolutionary War, and he wished to avoid procurement problems in the future. The following passage from Washington’s speech partially matched the target quotation but differed significantly. Boldface added to excepts by QI:¹

A free people ought not only to be armed, but disciplined, to which end a uniform and well-digested plan is requisite; and their safety and interest require, that they should promote such manufactories, as tend to render them independent on others, for essential, particularly for military supplies.

The words of George Washngton were remembered. For example, 185 years later in April 1975, Congressman Philip M. Crane of Illinois delivered a speech during which he presented a slightly modified version of the statement spoken by Washington:²

In writing his draft of the Virginia Constitution Thomas Jefferson stated:

No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms.

Similar expressions were forthcoming from men like Patrick Henry, George Mason, and Samuel Adams. And, in 1790, George Washington said:

A free people ought not only to be armed and disciplined, and their safety and interest require that they should promote such manufacturies as tend to remind them independent of others for essential, particularly military, supplies.

Palindrome Origin: Was It Eliot’s Toilet I Saw?

T. S. Eliot? Samuel Beckett? W. H. Auden? Vladimir Nabokov? Gloria Goddard? Clement Wood? J. L. Thompson? Tom Congdon? Alan Bennett?

**Bathroom with two sinks, a toilet, and a shower from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: The name of the major literary figure T. S. Eliot has inspired entertaining wordplay. A bookseller who visited the London headquarters of Eliot’s publisher, Faber and Faber, supposedly emerged with the following palindrome:

Was it Eliot’s toilet I saw?

This tale is probably apocryphal, but it would be fun to know who constructed this palindrome. Wordsmiths have also created anagrams for T. S. Eliot such as litotes, toilets, and toilest. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Poet T. S. Eliot was born in 1888 and died in 1965. Here is an overview of the wordplay together with dates and attributions:

1937: toilet – T. Eliot spelled backwards from Samuel Beckett

1938: toilets – anagram of T. S. Eliot in a book by Gloria Goddard and Clement Wood

1953: toilet – T. Eliot spelled backwards from J. L. Thompson

1962: toilest – T. S. Eliot spelled backwards from Vladimir Nabokov

1969: Was it Eliot’s toilet I saw? – palindrome from Tom Congdon

1975: litotes – anagram of T. S. Eliot attributed to W. H. Auden

This overview represents a current snapshot based on published evidence, and it may change as additional evidence is uncovered. Below are selected citations in chronological order.

Anecdote Origin: “I Can Hear the Donkey Bray” “Do You Believe Me or the Donkey?”

Mulla Nasreddin? Khodshah? Khoja Nasr ed-Dîn Effendi? Harry Charles Lukach? Anonymous?

**Picture of grazing donkeys from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: In the past you have examined a family of humorous anecdotes about credulousness. The punchline of these tales was:

Who you gonna believe, me or your lying eyes?

There is another anecdote of this type which seems to be older: A neighbor wished to borrow a donkey from a person who was reluctant to loan the animal. The person indicated that the donkey was located elsewhere and unavailable. A moment later the donkey began to bray in the nearby stable. The neighbor exclaimed “Do I not hear the donkey’s braying?” The person responded angrily:

“You fool! Would you believe me or the donkey?”

This punchline has been credited to the international folklore character Nasreddin (or Nasruddin). Would you please explore the provenance of this tale?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest match in English found by QI appeared in 1885 within a Buffalo, New York newspaper which acknowledged a newspaper in Vienna, Austria. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

A Turkish joke—One day a man came to Khodshah and said: “I need a donkey to-day; won’t you lend me yours?” “I no longer own a donkey,” was the answer. At the same moment the donkey began to bray in stable. “Oh,” exclaimed the man, “do I not hear the donkey’s braying?” “What?” retorted Khodshah angrily, “would you sooner believe a donkey than me?” — Wiener Fremdenblatt.

QI conjectures that earlier instances exist in the Turkish language. This folklore tale circulates in many countries including Türkiye and Iran. The Nasruddin character is usually dated to the 13^th century, but the chronology of the many associated anecdotes is highly variable.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: One of the Symptoms of Approaching Nervous Breakdown Is the Belief That One’s Work Is Terribly Important

Bertrand Russell? Apocryphal?

**Depiction of three tired figures from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: Many people are forgoing holidays and overworking themselves. Here is a pertinent quotation:

One of the symptoms of approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.

These words have been attributed to British philosopher Bertrand Russell. Would you please help me to find a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1930 Bertrand Russell published “The Conquest of Happiness” which included a section about the causes of unhappiness. A chapter within the section discussed fatigue. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

The more tired a man becomes, the more impossible he finds it to stop. One of the symptoms of approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important and that to take a holiday would bring all kinds of disaster. If I were a medical man, I should prescribe a holiday to any patient who considered his work important.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: It Actually Doesn’t Take Much To Be Considered a Difficult Woman. That’s Why There Are So Many of Us

Jane Goodall? Karen Karbo? Apocryphal?

**Abstract representation of a difficult person from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: Shortly after English primatologist Jane Goodall died in October 2025, I repeatedly saw the following quotation attributed to her:

It actually doesn’t take much to be considered a difficult woman. That’s why there are so many of us.

Yet, I have been unable to find a solid citation, and I suspect that this is a misattribution. Would you please trace this quotation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: You are correct to be skeptical of the attribution to Jane Goodall. The correct ascription is to the U.S. writer Karen Karbo who delivered the remark during an interview. Karbo authored the 2018 book “In Praise of Difficult Women: Life Lessons from 29 Heroines Who Dared to Break the Rules”.

In May 2018 the “National Geographic” website posted an interview with Karbo who discussed the women who were profiled in her book including Jane Goodall who was one of Karbo’s childhood heroes. Karbo also discussed reviews of her book. Karbo employed the quotation while discussing a reviewer. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

A woman who believes her own needs, goals, and desires are at least as important as everyone around her risks being called difficult. One of the first reviewers said, “That’s a pretty low bar.” I said, “Thank you for making my point for me.” Because it actually doesn’t take much to be considered a difficult woman. That’s why there are so many of us. [laughs]

The misattribution to Jane Goodall appeared in 2019, and QI conjectures that someone misread the interview article. Goodall’s name is mentioned within the interview article both before and after the quotation. An inattentive reader may have assumed the quotation was from Goodall.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: I’m Not Crazy. My Reality Is Just Different Than Yours

Lewis Carroll? Cheshire Cat? J.C. Penney Department Store? Sue? Apocryphal? Anonymous?

**Illustration of the Cheshire Cat by John Tenniel**

Question for Quote Investigator: The famous English fantasy author Lewis Carroll has been credited with a statement about nonconformity. Here are two versions:

(1) I’m not crazy; my reality is just different than yours.
(2) I’m not strange, weird, off, nor crazy, my reality is just different from yours.

I am skeptical of this attribution because I have never seen a solid citation. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: QI has found no substantive evidence supporting the ascription to Lewis Carroll.

The earliest match located by QI appeared in January 2008 within a Usenet message posted by a person using the handle Sue in the newsgroup alt.fiftyplus. The remark was part of the signature block of the message. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

I’m not crazy, my reality is just different than yours.

It is possible that Sue crafted the remark, but QI conjectures that Sue was repeating a remark that was already in circulation. Thus, the originator remains anonymous.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Dialogue Origin: “How Do You Like the Cricket Match?” “It’s Great. When Does It Start?”

Groucho Marx? Neville Cardus? Godfrey Smith? Donald Trelford? John Gale? Michael Davie? Apocryphal?

**Abstract representation of cricket from Pixabay**

Question for Quote Investigator: A popular anecdote states that a famous U.S. comedian was taken to a cricket match. The comedian watched the field intently but without comprehension. The hosts attempted to explain some of the complicated rules of the game. After thirty minutes of dull action on the field the hosts asked uncertainly:

“How do you like the game?”
“It’s great. When does it start?”

This punchline has been attributed to Groucho Marx. Does this anecdote describe a genuine event? Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest evidence found by QI appeared in “The Spectator” of London in 1964 within an article by English critic and sportswriter Neville Cardus. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

A few summers ago, Groucho Marx was taken to Lord’s, during the course of a dull immobile county match. Through the windows of the Long Room he looked on, while a friend instructed him about the game’s rules and know-how. ‘Six balls bowled from this end, then six from the other.’ ‘If the batsman hits the ball where a fieldsman can’t stop it, they run.’ And so on.

Groucho listened attentively. ‘I think I’ve got it. The field changes over. They run. Yeah-—I think I’ve got it.’ He watched the game in silence for five minutes, then said, ‘Say — when does it begin?’

Citations presented further below indicate that the journalists John Gale and Michael Davie invited Groucho Marx to witness a cricket match. Marx accepted and delivered a variety of jokes, but there is no direct evidence from a witness that Marx used the punchline above.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: We Only Need To Be Lucky One Time. You Need To Be Lucky All the Time

George Plimpton? Vance Whitt? James Grady? Margaret Thatcher? Mel Justice? Anonymous?

**Picture of five rolling dice from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: The repercussions of activities can be asymmetrical. For example, a chronic thief must be successful in every crime, whereas a pursuing detective must be successful only once to catch the thief and initiate legal consequences.

Also, the target of a group of assassins must be repeatedly successful in thwarting plots to survive, whereas the assassins must be successful only once.These situations inspired the following ominous warning:

We only need to be lucky one time. You need to be lucky all the time.

Would you please explore the provenance of this type of remark?

Reply from Quote Investigator: A thematic match appeared in 1939 within the “Council Bluffs Nonpareil” newspaper of Iowa. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

They know that if they are cleverer than the opposing players, in time, regardless of how the cards come out, the average will be in their favor. You may be lucky once or twice but you can’t be lucky all the time and every day of the year.

In 1970 the participatory journalist George Plimpton joined a circus as an amateur trapeze artist. Plimpton compared the luck needed when authoring books versus the luck needed when performing in a trapeze act:²

“Flying in the circus was an ideal marriage of the visual with the story. It was also the most exhilarating experience I ever had; it beat them all.”

“On a trapeze you feel like you’re hanging above an abyss. With a book you have to be lucky once in a while. With flying you have to be lucky all the time.”

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quip Origin: They Buried the Hatchet, But in a Shallow Grave

Dorothy Walworth? Abe Martin? Kin Hubbard? Thomas Kirby? Dave Ball? Anonymous?

**Picture of an axe buried in a tree truck from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: The phrase “bury the hatchet” means to end a dispute and make peace. A humorous twist on this figurative phrase highlights enduring hostility:

They buried the hatchet, but in a shallow grave.

This statement suggests that the hatchet might be retrieved and the conflict might resume. This quip has been attributed to U.S. writer Dorothy Walworth. Would you please explore the provenance of this modified expression?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest match found by QI appeared in November 1901 within “The Surrey Mirror” of Reigate, England which published a letter from Thomas Kirby. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

What kind of olive branch was extended? of which we have heard so much. How shallow the grave of the buried hatchet! It seems rather that the latter has been exhumed, ground, and presented with a new handle.

Two weeks later “The South Bend Daily Tribune” of Indiana printed the following short item:²

It is said that Croker and Hill have buried the hatchet. It is in a shallow grave, however, and will be resurrected at the least provocation. These two chiefs are not the ones to long keep a truce.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.