Day 2, nightmare persists.

It's a horrible, wretched thing to be struck with the thought: thank goodness my mom didn't have to live to see this. And I would do nearly anything, nearly any-fucking-thing, to have her back. But she was spared this. She would have been horrified too.

I'm trying to think proactively. Other people are so much better at it. I've never been strong, but I am always willing to fight for what I believe in. And the harder the push, the harder I push back.

And I'm not delusional. I live in a state that, statistically, stayed blue. But I know damn well that blue status was thanks to Philadelphia and Pittsburgh. My part of the state is much redder. So it should not have surprised me that our state went red Tuesday night. But it's another small disappointment on top of the much larger, much scarier one.

Even under President Obama, I've been afraid of many things. For example: simply holding my girlfriend's hand while walking down the street. Even in metropolitan areas. Under Trump (a joke, right? how is this still not a joke??), under the president-elect, that fear escalates beyond measure.

But I know we're not alone.

Regardless of how close the numbers, Clinton won the popular vote.

We have our voices. Quiet as I generally am, I refuse to be silenced.

And the map for the youngest set of voters was so beautifully blue. Like an ocean surging forward to wash away the hate. It offers hope.

I'm trying. I'll keep trying. Let's all keep trying to fight against the destructive thoughts and actions of the people who voted for Trump... and, most of all, against the arrogant, self-interested king of the bigots himself.

Thought some of you (who haven't pimped this already) might be interested. :)

It's only a number, but...

Here's to a better year.

May there be a little more light, a little more laughter, more joy and love in all our lives. May we fill them as full as we can bear. And let us be strong enough to share the load for others when their lives overflow beyond their abilities.

I hope you all are well. And will be well.

<3

Thank you aerynsun5, arcadiaego, desertgoddess, and modmerseygirl for the cards! <3333

I had true intentions of doing cards this year, but spazzed completely. Same with a mix. Maybe I can send out some random mid-winter cards. I might also still try a mix: a simple "best of 2013" kind of deal.

In other news, here is the last fic I wrote:

Title: Bottleneck
Pairing: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Spin the bottle, improv style.
Featuring a rather frisky Christmas tree and a complete disregard for rules.
Word Count: 2,348
Disclaimer: This stuff is made up.

I'd post the thing here, but I'm unaware of any Dan/Phil communities on LJ. So linking to AO3 seems the better option. If my muse for other fandoms (like SPN or Sherlock) ever returns (*crosses fingers*), I will post those here. I've not abandoned ship. (Pun pretty much intended.)

Oh, and this is the previous Dan/Phil, which I don't believe I linked to over here either:

Title: Morning Anatomy
Pairing: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Phil wakes Dan up. And possibly vice versa. (Sleepy human alarm clock fluff and porn.)
Second person POV. First time.
Word Count: 1,015
Disclaimer: Also made up.

If I don't post before Wednesday, I hope all of you who celebrate have a very Merry Christmas. Happy Yule as well. ♥

• Currently going mad with the itchiness of bug bites. Just three, all of them on my ankles. Flipping ankles. What the hell, insects?

• I'm almost caught up with Welcome to Night Vale, which I highly recommend, especially to those of you with a dark sense of humor. You can listen to it via any of the links on their website or here.

• Also, Summer in the City (a YouTube convention) happened this weekend in London, and there was an excellent panel based around Ben Cook's Becoming YouTube series. The first part of the panel lives here. I'm not sure how much appeal it would have to anyone who hasn't really watched any YouTubers. But then, I'm terrible at keeping up with most of the ones I like, with the exception of Dan and Phil. Anyway, the panel features Dan, Ben, Hank Green, Emma Blackery, Chris Kendall, and others.

• Music: Still in love with the new Toad and Civil Wars records. (I actually had a dream about Toad last night, but an unhappy one, as they were split up again because Todd wanted to do some project in Jordan or Jerusalem or someplace possibly starting with a J. Meanwhile, Glen was walking around with a banjo and then, later, he made this sculptural replica of Todd's favorite tree — something cypress-esque, made out of interwoven brown vines — to mail to him. I don't know where Randy and Dean were.) Also very much looking forward to the new Neko Case album.

I'm still trying to decide if I want to brave the Neko show alone. I do finally have some other (definite) shows on the concert calendar, which is happy news as this year has been concert-free thus far. Besides the aforementioned Fall Out Boy show scheduled for next month, future concerts include: Colin Meloy, Toad, and Neutral Milk Hotel. I'd also really like to see Bastille, but that would be another go-it-alone show. And Mark Lanegan is coming back to Philly in October, but it's during a working weekend. :/ Given that I start at 6:30 on weekends (as opposed to 8 a.m. on weekdays), it makes me very hesitant to go. It's guaranteed I'll be worn out before the show even starts and then barely get any sleep for work the next day.

• Three of my SPN fics were apparently nominated for No Rest For The Wicked awards. Being generally clueless, I've never heard of those awards. But still, that's pretty damn cool. Never the less, it feels rather weird as I've been in a dry spell for well over a year now. This long-term creative impotence disturbs me, but finding the motivation to overcome it has been difficult.

• I wanted to post some St. Augustine photos today, but not feeling ambitious enough. So. *procrastinates*

• I hope you all are well.

• Finally saw Star Trek: Into Darkness today.

( slight spoilersCollapse )

• After watching the first two episodes of Game of Thrones, I bought season two off eBay. So, obviously: hooked. I have two episodes left of the first season, which I'll likely watch tonight.

( a few thoughtsCollapse )

• I think the season finales for SPN and Doctor Who being so close together was basically an emotional pummeling. I loved both. But I don't feel like speculating on either. Just going to wait and see where the ride takes us from here — my usual approach. I will say that, whatever happens with Who, Matt Smith's acting has been remarkable. Same for Mark Sheppard, Misha, Jensen, and Jared. I love my shows.

• I hope you all are well.

I wrote this a year and a half ago for a Blindfold prompt, putting off posting it in the hopes that I could write a sequel per a request from sychononny. However, at this point, I don’t see myself being able to get any more out of this little story. So, here it is, as is.



Title: Of Winchesters and Wombats
Pairing: Jensen Ackles/Ben Edlund
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Ben brainstorms a new monster and bares his inner Deangirl.
Set prior to season 8.
Word Count: 2,070
Disclaimer: This stuff is made up.
Notes: Originally posted in response to a blindfold_spn prompt here.
Also at AO3.


(  More grayed-dark curls come loose, covering Ben's face as he ducks his head, grinning at the images coming from his own twisted brain. Jensen reaches out, brushes them back. It's reflexive, really — something he does for Jared automatically now.Collapse )

1.) Oh man, it feels so good to have a weekend off. Especially after working nine days straight. Nine stress-filled, maddening days as we integrate a new system that's supposed to make things better, more efficient. So far, not so much.

2.) Not much else has been going on. Been feeling disconnected a lot and have had hardly any time to talk to anyone — anyone important to me, that is.

3.) I believe Supernatural has been on an upswing. I've really enjoyed the last few episodes. ( potentially spoilery for those not caught upCollapse )

4.) What else? Enjoying the new Frightened Rabbit album, Pedestrian Verse. I wish I could see them when they come to town in April, but it's not only during a working weekend for me but it's also on my mom's birthday. So, nope.

5.) Still spending most of my online time on tumblr. Because, you know, it's actually active.

6.) Spending way too much time lately looking at dresses I can't afford and would have nowhere to wear on ModCloth. Like this one, and this, also this, and also this.

7.) Over the holidays, I received quite a few fragrances, and I don't think I ever reviewed them, although I wrote up notes on them (because I'm a nerd like that). So here.

( SPN smelliesCollapse )

( Harry Potter smelliesCollapse )

( and some other random fragrances from delightfulriotCollapse )

My favorite recently-acquired scent remains Saltwater by FirebirdBathBody @ Etsy, which is meant to capture the nostalgia of the ocean/seashore... and it does so perfectly. <3

8.) Finally, for those of you who didn't see Neil Gaiman and Amanda Palmer participating in Amoeba Records "What's In My Bag?": watch it and fall in love with them even more.

Wishing a beautiful Christmas and happy Yule to all of you who celebrate.

♥

Holy shit, The Hobbit was fucking amazing!!!

Despite some trepidations after reading several reviews, I'm so glad I saw it in IMAX 3D. Full-on immersion in Middle-Earth! What could be better? :D

Also, got to see Benedict Cumberbatch's head about three stories high. The Star Trek preview wasn't half bad either. ;) (Seriously, I'm really excited about that movie. And not simply because of the Cumberbatch voice porn and eye candy.)

Maybe I'll collect my thoughts and write more about The Hobbit later when others of you have seen it.

Or maybe I'll wait until after I see it again. (Right now seems like a good time.)