So I was doing this Russian essay contest, in an effort to get my professor to not hate me after I royally fucked up the study abroad thing (and also to practice essay writing I guess)

and I'm just writing along, agonizing over not knowing how to say anything and repeating the same verbs like three times a paragraph, when I realize I have just written the following: "музыка была ун парте импортанте де ми жизнь,--"

I only stopped when I hit the "hasta que" and realized there's no H or Q in Cyrillic.

I blacked it out as dark as it could go to hide the evidence of my shame, but guys. Guys. Code switching is only cute when other people do it.

(needless to say my essay was pretty awful)

edit: tomariq, what the fuck happened here

This is mostly a "hey look I didn't fall off the face of the planet*" post but if anything earth-shattering has happened in your life in the last month or so, you can tell me in the comments if you want

and then I can flail around feeling like a shitty friend because that's my response to everything these days

As for me, I'm back at school, and really the less said about that the better. Otherwise I have done absolutely nothing for a month. Unless you count "boiled in the hellish stewpot of my own angst," which I don't, because all it means is "ate so much soup it's taken over my body and seeped into my awful metaphors." And because it really is an awful metaphor and I don't know why I'm leaving it here.

I SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWED TO WRITE JOURNAL ENTRIES AT FIVE IN THE MORNING

*and also am an insomniac loser but that's irrelevant

I was going to break my habit of posting only once a month, but then I got high sick. (this isn't a real excuse)

I feel like my life is one long dialogue between Socially Awkward Penguin and Socially Lazy Sloth. It's like they're halves of my psyche locked in conflict over the battle-scarred landscape of my SOUL, except they never seem to get to the punching bits. (I was going to say something about my ~feelings~ of late here but I couldn't figure out any way to do it that didn't sound a) more ridiculous than the above and b) excessively self-pitying. some "writer" I am

maybe I can't do dialogue anymore because I can't talk to people anymore)




--In other news, my historiography teacher has Kate Beaton comics on her office door and I kind of want to say something about them, but I probably won't. by the way, this class is so cool--there's Old Stuff! I'm allowed to touch it! SO COOL (also punctuation seems to have been optional in Civil War Illinois, it's like I have discovered the true home of my SOUL)

this entry is all ME ME ME and my SOUL, sorry 'bout that

and it's mostly a way to procrastinate on chem. screw division requirements man щ(ಠ益ಠщ)