Being a billionaire doesn’t mean you’re not totally nuts

The ‘The Richest Person on the Planet Hat’ is passed around from time to time. When I wrote my ‘open letter to all billionaires, everywhere‘ post in September 2020, Jeff Bezos had the hat. Forbes World’s Billionaires List 2023 now shows Bezos as #3, with Elon Musk at #2, and some geezer I’ve never heard of (I don’t know if that’s a good thing, or a bad thing), Bernard Arnault, holding the hat.

The thing is, at least from where I sit, far too many people seem to believe that ‘being a billionaire’ is synonymous with ‘being incredibly brilliant’. That’s not the way I see it. Smart, well, yes (in some ways). Hard-working, certainly. The factor few take into account is blind luck: some will succeed, others won’t.

Not long ago, Elon Musk was reported as saying the following:

If people don’t have more children, civilization is going to crumble. Mark my words.

Elon Musk (as reported by CNBC, 07Dec2021)

Really.

I reacted to this on Twitter, and was attacked by a dimwit who clearly believed the myth that ‘billionaires must be smart’. Interspersed with suggestions that I was ‘dense’, he wittered on about how the Earth’s ‘carrying capacity’ has been increased, and suggested that I ‘google productivity’. Another moron adjured me to, “Look at statistics – birth decline is real. World need young people.”

I have indeed looked at the statistics. Here’s one example, where you can see in real time that the numbers of the members of the species homo fatuus brutus are going decidedly up, minute by minute. Not down.

Yes, human fertility is declining. But it is in no way crashing. The net increase of births over deaths at present is approximately 1.3% per year. That equates to a doubling time of ~53 years (if you doubt that, you need to watch Professor Albert Bartlett’s lecture ‘Arithmetic, population and energy‘). Or, to put it another way, there are now ~8 billion people on our planet. In less than one human lifetime, if things continue as they are (which, given the climate crisis, is impossible) there would be twice as many people on the planet, ie 16 billion. The United Nations estimates that our numbers will peak at 11 billion (and, barring mass starvation and/or genocide on a horrific scale, I cannot understand how they arrive at that figure).

And, yes, of course the world needs young people. However, there are in fact a great many right now, and far too many are suffering, badly – but far away, and, to far too many, they simply don’t count, as they’re not ‘our own’, and so the eye that turns to them is blind. That we’re not collectively doing far more about their plight than we are sickens me to the core.

Pink Floyd – On The Turning Away [HQ] (Live 1988)

Back to Elon Musk and his bizarre assertion, which all too many are willing to believe simply because “he’s a billionaire, and therefore ‘a really smart guy’.” His statement is not wrong, per se: if nobody were to have any more children, then humanity would disappear, duh. To my mind, he’s just rationalising his own selfish behaviour. He already has nine – at least? – children of his own: if he were really so concerned about the fate of civilization, it would, surely, be better all round were he to adopt starving orphans instead (he can’t claim he can’t afford to do that). But, no, instead he wants to procreate; over and above the prehistoric urge to spread one’s own seed, no doubt he believes that his genes are far superior.

If you are on the fence about Musk’s credentials as some kind of genius, then I urge you to read the article ‘Elon Musk’s Shadow Rule‘. It’s pretty long, but I found it compelling: my take-away from it is that, while we should all be concerned about AI in the long term, there’s a much more serious danger in the near term, and its initials are EM.

One of the ‘genius’ things that Elon Musk has done of late is to rebrand Twitter as ‘X’. The first I knew about that was when my pinned tab featuring a blue bird icon vanished (‘twould have been nice if the Chief Twit had let his userbase know in a more friendly way). Meanwhile, the BBC and others still refer to it as ‘Twitter’; go figure. I have to ask myself what kind of idiot thinks it’s a good idea to rebrand anything with, of all things, an icon that commonly means ‘close’ / ‘shut’ / ‘end’ / ‘finish’ / ‘terminate’. Or, indeed, ‘deactivate’.

Well, I’m about to deactivate my Twitter – sorry, ‘X’ – account. The ‘X Help Center‘ assures me that, ‘After your 30-day deactivation window, your Twitter account is permanently deleted.’ I did try, briefly, to determine whether ‘deleting the account’ is synonymous with ‘deleting all of the personal data held about me by that arm of Big Tech Controlled By Mr Musk The Genius’, but I failed miserably on that front (I’m clearly no genius as I’m not a billionaire), and since I wouldn’t believe any of its assurances anyway if it were to give any, I didn’t bother wasting my time further on it.

Posted in ... wait, what?, balance, Core thought, People, Phlyarology, Rants, Science | Tagged , , , , , | 34 Comments

Politicians: we demand better!

My bro sent me a link to this ‘open letter to (UK) politicians’ this morning.

I agree wholeheartedly with every word, and, though I don’t believe that petitions do very much (or voting, for that matter, given that our political system is so badly flawed), I certainly don’t want to be accused of apathy.

Adding my name bumped the total signatories up to 98,430 – so there’s still a long way to go to achieve the million Greenpeace is aiming for. If you agree, please sign (link at foot of letter), and perhaps comment to say what the total is when you do?


To Political Party Leaders:

Our country is broken. For too long politicians have chosen the interests of big business over ordinary people. We’re sick of getting poorer, whilst companies trash the natural world and line their pockets from our inflated bills.

We face many crises – climate, cost of living, energy security, inequality and the challenges to our economy. The clear solutions to them all lie in more ambitious climate policy, not less.

We’re joining together to demand a safe climate and a future where the next generations can flourish. You have to invest in good quality, affordable homes powered by cheap and clean renewable energy. We want safer, quieter streets and cleaner air through reliable and accessible public transport. And you must restore our nature-depleted land – this is vital for our food security and to ensure young people inherit a country rich in wildlife.

We have the answers, what’s lacking is your political leadership. 

Fossil fuels need to become a thing of the past. That means no new oil and gas and no more unjust profits for fossil fuel bosses. The biggest polluters must be taxed for the destruction they’re causing to our planet. And workers in polluting industries must be supported into good green jobs.

We will judge you at the next election, you have to step up. Securing a liveable planet hinges on actions taken by the end of this decade. The failure of successive governments has got us into this current mess, but your decisive actions can get us out of it.

A brighter future for all is within our grasp if you are bold and brave enough to deliver it. 

We are fighters, we are voters and we demand better.

With power and unity,

[Sign the petition if you agree!]

Posted in Climate, Economics, Energy, Environment, Food, GCD: Global climate disruption, Health, News and politics, Strategy | Tagged , , , , , | 11 Comments

Knowing there’s a trap is the first step in evading it

Normality is slippery. What’s ‘normal’ for me is very different from what’s ‘normal’ for many in other parts of the world. Normality also shifts over time.

My home often featured a fine haze when I was a child. My parents both smoked; that was ‘normal’ for them; smoking was far more culturally acceptable than it is now. The tobacco industry had done a fine job of pulling the wool over everyone’s eyes about the health hazards of their product. Their grip, though, was beginning to loosen. It wasn’t, however, ‘normal’ – it wasn’t legal – for children to smoke. The idiot box subjected me to regular government warnings about its dangers. I remember nagging my parents to stop – and one day, they both did. I don’t know why, or how, they managed it.

When I was a teenager I had a best friend. He smoked, and I nagged him about it. Understandably, he got fed up with that and eventually challenged me, “Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it.” That seemed fair to me, so I accepted his challenge, and the cigarette he offered me. I still remember feeling light-headed and having to sit down as I smoked it. What also seemed fair would be to pay him back for his gift, so I bought a pack of cigs and gave him one. Of course, I then had the rest of the pack, and, naturally, I smoked those. That was ‘all she wrote’; I was addicted.

I still knew it was bad for me. I tried to give up several times. I recall making a deal with myself to give up when the cost of a pack rose above £2 – but I don’t recall what reasoning I used to persuade myself that it would be OK to break the bargain I’d made with my younger self. I now recognise that as typical delaying tactics. Kicking cans down roads is pretty normal for everyone, I think.

In my mid-twenties, I actually did kick the habit. Once. Three months later, there was event at work. It feature a free buffet, and (as was ‘normal’ at the time) there were cigarettes on offer, too. Foolishly, I persuaded myself that I had kicked the habit, and convinced myself that I could have just one and remain ‘a non-smoker’. You know what happened.

As I think back now over the past forty-odd years, I try to estimate how much money I’ve sent up in smoke; probably in excess of fifty thousand quid. How incredibly stupid of me.

Dune (2000) – Knowing there’s a trap is the first step in evading it.

The thing is this:
I am well aware that my smoking is poisoning me. And yet, for whatever reason, I have, for decades, been unable to do anything to change that.

Scale it up:
Humanity has been aware, for much the same period, that our collective activities are poisoning our home planet. And yet, for whatever reason, we have, for decades, been unable to do anything to change that.

I’m pretty sure that I’m not as smart as I like to think I am. But then, I forgive myself for that, because I am a member of a species that is very clearly not as smart as it likes to think it is.

It’s one thing to know that there’s a trap, and, yes, that is the first step in evading it. But it does no good at all if the next step is one that’s never taken.

Posted in ... wait, what?, Core thought, Phlyarology, Strategy | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments

Why on Earth is there laughter in slaughterhouses?

The vast amount of land used to rear animals for the meat industry is a major contributor to climate change. You might think that it therefore makes sense to minimise land use by employing factory farming techniques. If you’re comfortable with crowding our food beasts into tiny spaces, accept the inhumane practices these places employ, and condone the often inhuman attitudes of the humans who choose to work there, well then, you can continue to chow down with a happy heart.

I’ve seen many video clips, often created at great risk to those who film them, of what goes on in factory farms. ‘Chick-sorting’, for instance, sounds innocuous; but what actually happens is that, as male chicks are unwanted – they can’t lay eggs, duh – they’re dumped en masse into gas chambers or chucked, cheerily chirping, into unfeeling machines that chew them up.

These poor innocents are ‘sorted’ by hand by (equally unfeeling) people, who I suspect probably argue that they have no choice but to accept this kind of work to earn a crust. The bean counters in charge, pursuing their heartless profit motive, probably just shrug it all off as the cost of doing business. Perhaps it’s not quite the same as Nazis defending their actions by claiming that they were ‘just obeying orders’, but, to my mind, it comes pretty close.

Why the egg industry shreds newborn baby chicks

Another example is highlighted in a recent article on Vox entitled ‘A new investigation exposes the stomach-churning practice that goes into making your bacon‘ which reveals the monstrous practices involved in pork production. There’s a video embedded in that; it’s less than five minutes long. I dare you to watch it. Let me know if you can eat a bacon sandwich afterwards. (I’m sure some folk really don’t know where bacon comes from.)

Our ‘civilised’ society has clearly learned no lessons from the stupid practice that gave rise to mad cow disease.

There’s a YouTube version of that video. I’d embed it, but it can only be watched on YouTube as it is, entirely understandably, ‘age-restricted’. After all, it simply wouldn’t do to give easy access to such material to children who might then incessantly nag their parents to eat less meat, now would it? It’s pretty much a given that Big Ag and the meat industry would lobby hard to ‘protect the mental health of children’ (such is the nature of creative lying marketing). Their livelihoods depend upon us all turning a blind eye to these horrors and continuing to behave as we’ve been brought up to habitually do.

There are powerful forces at work to convince us that plant-based meat is unhealthy. Organisations with disingenuous, clever names such as the Center for Consumer Freedom have much experience pushing persuasive perspectives. These folk have honed their skills over decades through defending rogue pesticides and tobacco, pushing climate change ‘hoax’ memes, and even attacking science itself.

The meat industry really made a concerted effort to make people think plant-based meat is not healthy. They do a great job. They’re good marketers. They’re good lobbyists.

What happened to the thrill of plant-based meat? – Grist, 03Aug2023

Such education woke me up (oh, no, shock, horror: I’m ‘woke’!) a long time ago, and I resolved to become a wannabe vegan. Though I’m getting better at reducing the amount of animal product on my plate, I am still just in the ‘wannabe’ stage, because, after a lifetime of habituation, saying “no” isn’t at all easy. I’ve grown up eating meat. It’s normal† to eat it, right? Despite knowing how much harm it does me, I’m still unable to quit smoking, either. Addictions suck.

Individually, we’re smart, but when surrounded by other humans, we can be incredibly stupid. A critical mass of cultural thought is necessary to sway a crowd, and it’s especially tough changing the habits of a lifetime when ‘truth’ itself being challenged. When some even go so far as to passively-aggressively defend their meat-eating by phlyarologistically claiming to be ‘carnivores’, it pretty much limits the conversation.

Chart of global land use for foor production, highlighting how much is used for livestock.
Global land used for food production (source: Our World in Data)

Almost half of the habitable land surface of our planet is used for agriculture. Of that half, more than three-quarters is devoted to rearing livestock; meat and dairy (which yields less calorific and protein value per hectare of land used than does plant-based food). Yet it’s still not enough: many of the eight billion of the members of homo fatuus brutus here on Spaceship Earth are malnourished or starving.

The world’s forests – and the biodiversity they provide – are being decimated to make way for still more agricultural land. Some of that ‘growth’ (oh, how I hate how that word is abused by the bean-counters) is subject to deliberate clearance by humans, and, increasingly in this climate emergency, vast tracts of forest are also being lost to wildfires. (I’ve no doubt that Big Ag rubs its hands behind closed doors at the new profit sources being opened up for them – without them having to lift a finger.)

I get a kick out of killing two birds with one stone (metaphorically, of course). In this situation, we can ‘kill’ not two, but three: climate change, biodiversity loss and factory farming could all be addressed to a substantial degree if enough of us were to simply choose to change our ways, and eat less meat.

What do you think?

Stand up for animals every time you sit down to eat by keeping them off your plate.

† Meat… that comes in neat packs, from supermarkets:
call me a big softie, but I wouldn’t hurt a fly, and
– because, for me, it’s thoroughly abnormal
the only way I could ever slaughter a pig
would be if I were starving hungry.
And perhaps not even then.

Posted in ... wait, what?, Core thought, Culture, Food, Health, perception, Phlyarology, Strategy | Tagged , , , , , , | 10 Comments

The only solution to the unfolding catastrophe

It’s all about belief.

Not even the flawed so-called ‘democracy’ ‘enjoyed’ by the ‘free world’ can steer the Titanic away from the iceberg if too many believe utter nonsense and vote in favour of those who would continue on the current course. And even in the mounting evidence of the climate emergency, in the form of ever more frequent ‘once-in-a-lifetime’ (or longer!) floods, droughts, heatwaves and wildfires across the globe, that still seems to be the case.

TruthOut explains it well in their recent article entitled ‘There Is a Climate Conspiracy — But Not the One Climate Denialists Are Peddling‘. I’d add my own tuppence, but, like the rest of us, I have too many non-Earth-shattering tasks I have no choice but to focus on right now. Which, of course, makes me complicit. The fact that you are probably also in the same boat doesn’t make me feel any better, as the ‘boat’, AKA Spaceship Earth, is fast becoming a foundering lifeboat.

In the face of inevitable doom, there’s only one thing to do – and that is, of course, to laugh*.

I Will Survive – Alien Song

* Best to do it without sounding overly maniacal, though.

Posted in ... wait, what?, Climate, Core thought, GCD: Global climate disruption, perception, Phlyarology, Strategy | Tagged , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Your call is SO important to us!

I saw this, and it reminded me of my 2007 post ‘Let’s Play… talk to a human‘. Although of course I’m fooling myself, I do like to think that Matt Green stumbled upon that post and thought, “Hey, that’s a good one, I’ll do my own inimitable take on it.” In reality, of course, he’s simply mirroring what we’re all thinking; to wit, “Why the [expletive deleted because my eldest bro objects to expletives and I like him too much to risk upsetting him] don’t these greedy corporate bar stewards employ more folks to provide proper support to people who at the end of the day are funnelling our munny to their shareholders?”

Your call is SO important to us! – @MattGreenComedy

Hello. Thank you for calling. Your call is important to us. I’m afraid we are currently experiencing very high call volumes, so there may be a delay. Have you tried our website? It’s the quickest way to get help. Just go to our website and we’ll be able to help you right away.

We’re sorry that we haven’t been able to answer your call. We’re doing literally everything we can to get to you. Call volumes are unusually high and have been for several years now. Unusually. In the meantime, how about checking out our website or stay on hold and we’ll be with you as soon as humanly possible?

Me again, I’m afraid we’re still far too busy to answer your call, even though there is simply nothing we’d love more than to speak to you. The calls – you wouldn’t believe the volume. We’re talking gallons. If there was anything we could do to speak to you more quickly, your goddamn sure we’d be doing it. Apart from employing more people to answer the phones or improving our service so you don’t need to talk to us, that’s not on the table. Why not see if you can find the answer to your question online.

Your call is deeply meaningful to us in an almost sexual way. You’re in a queue. I’d give you a number, but it would just make you sad. Why don’t you go on our website? We’ve got a live chat function on there, which is definitely a real person and not just a bot.

Still here? Well done. Most people have given up by now. Trust me when I say that we are so desperate to talk to you, it’s almost embarrassing. Our website is still out there if you want to give that a try. Let me spell it out for you: H, T, T, P, colon, slash, slash, w.

Okay, I’ll be honest. There’s only one person answering the phone, and he’s quite a slow talker, so this could take a while. Why not pop along to the Internet and look at our website?

Why are you doing this to yourself? Are you a Luddite? Do you simply not understand the glories of the information superhighway? Why do you want to speak to a human being? Are you weird?

Matt Green: Hello? Oh. Oh, hi. Oh, sorry. Um, I need to update my details, but your website is down.

Underpaid Flunky: Oh, yes. All of our systems are down. Can you call back later?

The transcript above was made with the help of Sonix, which did most of the donkey work for a tiny fee (I did have to spend some time tidying it up). Note that I do not have the copyright owner’s permission to publish this transcript here. I’ve investigated the copyright rules regarding transcriptions (more about that here), and one thing I’ve learned is that it’s no defense to make a disclaimer like “these aren’t my words, no copyright infringement intended.” However, I offer the transcription here as a service to society (especially the deaf community). I do hope the copyright owner won’t object. And I hope that you find this video as entertaining and/or interesting as I did.

Posted in ... wait, what?, Communication, Computers and Internet, Core thought, Just for laughs, Ludditis, Phlyarology, Rants | Tagged , , , , , , | 25 Comments

Where are our rich influential people? – revisited

TL;DR: They’re laughing (at us), all the way to the bank.

Just over a decade ago, I posted a wibblette entitled ‘Where are our rich influential people?‘. A few days ago, I stumbled upon an article on Wired: ‘Millionaires Are Begging Governments to Tax Them More‘. Although I do find that encouraging, it’s entirely possible I’m being more than a little naïve.

We, as a whole, have plenty of money to solve the problems we face. Unfortunately, the vast majority of society’s wealth is being hoarded by a miniscule proportion of us. While most struggle to pay the bills, those few get ever richer. Wealth inequity – and, yes, I do mean ‘inequity’, not ‘inequality’ – has been rising for decades; despite the pandemic that hit so many so hard, in the UK alone the number of billionaires rose by 24 in 2021, and rose again by another six last year, to 177. The richest 250 people in the UK last year were worth over £710 billion in total. That’s worth repeating:

The richest 250 people in the UK last year were worth over £710 billion in total.

Yet our politicians (who, I believe, must be in thrall to the elites – after all, our Pri’Minister Rishi Sunak and his wife Akshata Murthy are #222 in that list of the ‘top 250’) continue to insist that there is no money to spare and that ‘we’ all have to continue to tighten our belts.

Many wealthy folk make a great song and dance about their philanthropic activities. Call me a cynic, but my gut feeling is that they do this mainly for two reasons: to enhance their reputations, and to avoid paying tax. While most UK citizens pay tax at the basic rate, the wealthiest pay a far smaller percentage rate than that due to loopholes in the barmy taxation rules – and, on top of that, much of their wealth gains aren’t even taxed at all, as they’re not classed as ‘income’.

And then there’s the matter of CEO remuneration, which continues to escalate to ludicrous multiples of that of the lowest paid in their companies. These ‘captains of industry’ conveniently ignore that their industries rely upon the infrastructure imagined, developed and built by those who came before us, and maintained by us. ALL of us – but, mostly, those of us who have the least broad financial shoulders.

Me, I’m a basic rate taxpayer. Out of my puny net income I donate 10% to numerous charitable causes. I don’t know about you, but I for one am fed up to the back teeth of being constantly subjected to those adverts on the idiot box that pull at my heart strings to encourage me to contribute to this or that worthy cause. I’d much rather be taxed a few percent more so that the State could actually, you know, DO something about these issues, rather than leaving them all up to charitable institutions who have no other choice than to use guilt tactics to try to persuade a few of us to cough up. Sadly, the ‘small government is best’ meme seems to have invaded the hearts and minds of most.

And then there’s that failed capitalist experiment: privatisation. Don’t get me started on that, or I’ll be ranting about how my MP (Anthony Browne, Conservative, emphasis on the ‘con’) responded to my request to do something about the sewage discharge into our rivers and shores by explaining condescendingly that: (a) it was all due to a lack of foresight by the Victorians; (b) that the problem is one that’s been kicked down the road by successive governments (ironic, that, given that the Tories have been in power for over a decade and have also twiddled their thumbs ineffectively for all that time); and (c) that the problem is too expensive to fix. I find that last particularly odd, given that privatisation of the water industry was sold to us on the basis that the sewage system the Victorians built was no longer fit for purpose and required massive investment in order to improve it. And yet, here we are, decades later, and we find that the money that should have been invested as promised has instead been syphoned off into shareholders’ pocketses, my precious. Reminder: most of that money has come from those paying basic rate tax, ie us mugginses.

Rinse and repeat for the privatisation of the UK’s railway system. (I saw Ben Elton’s ‘The Great Railway Disaster‘ documentary not long ago, and it was a real eye-opener, I can tell you.)

Oops. Sorry, got distracted onto that sub-rant, and didn’t really mean to (honest, gov).

Addressing wealth inequity would bring many benefits. It would reduce crime. There’d be fewer homeless folk. I’m reasonably confident that we’d all be more content (even the wealthiest, as happiness plateaus after a certain point; more money doesn’t make you happier). The current system is simply not fit for purpose, and it must be fixed. It will take time to reverse the trend, but there’s a simple answer in the shorter term: Tax the rich!

Posted in ... wait, what?, Core thought, perception, Phlyarology, Rants, Strategy | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

Finally: climate science humour goes viral

‘Chevron Ad’ by Hyperobject Industries

We at Chevron believe that nothing is more precious than life and that the most precious life of all is the dead kind that has been compressed for hundreds of millions of years under massive rocks until it magically becomes oil – oil that we can refine and sell as gasoline. So a cool-ass tank can crush a clay hut or an airplane can take a businessman 3000 miles to have dinner with someone, or whatever, all the while releasing greenhouse gases that are transforming the planet right this second into a hellish George Miller film.

Because at the end of the day, we at Chevron straight up don’t give a single fuck about you, your weird children, or your stupid ratty-ass dog; and we have billions and billions of dollars to pay for this commercial time, this cheesy footage, and this bullshit music. Also that you will be lulled into a catatonic state that makes you forget one singular fact: Chevron is actively murdering you every day.

See, the human brain can only deal with so many things at once, so these emotionally-loaded scenes will always push aside other thoughts like, “Chevron is murdering me.” It’s just how our brains work, you meat puppet who exists only to feed us profits.

Chevron. It’s hard to even comprehend how little of a fuck we give about you.

And this commercial also applies equally to Exxon, BP, Shell, our delinquent lapdog media and any hack politician who is trading a future of life on this planet for filthy money and oil stocks.

Truthout reports this as a ‘viral’ video, although, coming up to a year later, YouTube is showing a mere 13k views; a number that I believe to be far short of what’s necessary. The same guys, Hyperobject Industries, created another in a similar vein a few weeks back. That one, however, has garnered a mere 226 thumbs-up to date (not including mine, as it’s pretty lame, sadly). I do hope they’ll keep trying.

‘A Love Letter from Darth to Exxon’ by Hyperobject Industries
Join the Rebel Alliance at ExxonKnew.org

And now a message of love and admiration from the Dark Lord of the Imperial Military, Darth Vader.

Greetings, fools and trembling servants of the Empire. Recently, I have become aware of deeds so treacherous that I became envious.

In the late 1970s, Exxon scientists knew that continuing to drill and sell oil would lead to mega droughts, fires, floods and the destruction of the Earth’s entire livable climate. And rather than warn humanity – and this is the good part, and by good I mean fucked up – they kept it secret so they could keep making billions of dollars.

I have murdered dozens of Jedi toddlers with my own hands; but Exxon, that is some unlock-the-secret-bonus-level-cheat-code evil shit you pulled. Mad respect! But here’s the moldy cherry on top: Exxon waged a campaign of lies for years to create doubt, even though they and 100% of climate scientists know for sure it’s happening. And Exxon’s current CEO, Darren Woods, is doing exactly what I would do: cashing checks and murdering life 24/7. Darren Woods, whenever we meet, I am going to dap you up like we haven’t seen each other since middle school. Seriously, ExxonMobil – and I mean this from the bottom of my blackened heart – thumbs up from Darth Vader. Mwah!

Thanks and a hat tip to Bill Zeigler.

Posted in ... wait, what?, Communication, Core thought, Environment, GCD: Global climate disruption, perception, Phlyarology | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

So encouraging to know that peaceful protest is being made illegal in other countries, too…

not. Kind of gives credence to thejuicemedia’s allegation that Those In Power are indeed actually the captains of the fossil fuel industry, at the helm of the SS† Spaceship Earth :(

† SS = sinking ship

Honest Government Ad | Anti Protest Laws (SA) – thejuicemedia

Zoë Amanda Wilson/ Lucy: Hello. I’m from the South Australian Government, here to introduce our new law to put an end to peaceful protests in our state. That might sound like a bad law; and civil rights groups, legal experts, even our unions are saying it’s a bad law. But here at the South Australian Government we reflected on it and said, “Are we out of touch? No, it’s the people who are wrong.”

Introducing the Obstruction of Public Places Bill. If passed, this law will impose huge increases in fines and even jail time for obstructing a public place. What constitutes ‘obstructing’ is super vague. That’s because we bashed this bill together in 20 minutes with help from the shit party and rushed it through with no consultation, which means it’ll pretty much target anyone:
– unions and workers protesting for better pay
– students striking for climate action
– even someone handing out flyers.

We realise this might discourage many of you from attending any protest ever again. But we’re here to reassure you: that’s precisely the intent. Which might seem odd coming from a party whose roots lie in the protest movement. But it makes total sense once you realise we’re now the party of the oil and gas companies who own our arse, and those companies are really unhappy that some of you sprayed paint on the Santos building and peacefully protested outside a conference where they were discussing how to keep making more money from killing the world, to which we literally told them, “We’re at your disposal.”

And to prove it, this guy, who is Santos’s bitch, introduced this new law the very next day. But rest assured, it definitely has nothing to do with the fact that Pete’s brother works for Santos as head of government relations. Cool and normal. Also, no conflict of interest with Santos sponsoring police cars in this country. With this new law, South Australia joins other states that have recently passed laws to punish peaceful protests. Sure, our penalties will be the harshest in Australia, but be grateful, because as this dickhead said, “In some countries, you’d get your head chopped off for protesting.”

Visit South Australia, land of freedom, where protesting only gets you bankrupted and jailed for three months. If you’d like to support this shitfuckery, please blame the –

Deluded moron: Greenie lefty losers.

Zoë Amanda Wilson/ Lucy: – for inconveniently disrupting traffic instead of the c*nts who are killing our mother. We love it when you fight each other instead of us. And if you don’t support our new law, well, now would be the time to say, “Fuck this shit”, and peacefully protest in the streets. Or tomorrow it’ll be illegal.

This has been a message from the government of Santos. I mean South Australia. Fuck you.

Authorized by the Department at the Disposal of Gas Companies.

Thank you to all our patrons for making the honest government ads possible, especially our patron producers. If you want to help us keep governments honest, you can do so at Patreon.com/TheJuiceMedia or you can grab some merch from our store. You’ll find all the links in the video description. Till next time.

The transcript above was made with the help of Sonix, which did most of the donkey work for a tiny fee (I did have to spend some time tidying it up). Note that I do not have the copyright owner’s permission to publish this transcript here. I’ve investigated the copyright rules regarding transcriptions (more about that here), and one thing I’ve learned is that it’s no defense to make a disclaimer like “these aren’t my words, no copyright infringement intended.” However, I offer the transcription here as a service to society (especially the deaf community). I do hope the copyright owner won’t object. And I hope that you find this video as entertaining and/or interesting as I did.

Posted in ... wait, what?, Capitalism, Core thought, Energy, Environment, GCD: Global climate disruption, Just for laughs, News and politics, Phlyarology, Rants, Strategy | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

The BIG Big Bang Theory Trivia Quiz – Part Two

Given that ‘Part One‘ of this quiz must be, by any measure, one of the least popular posts I’ve ever created, I really, really don’t understand why I bothered to make a ‘Part Two’. But I did (and it took me ages), so, I could either chuck it into the trash or hit ‘Publish’…

Questions

Q101: How many MySpace friends does Sheldon have on the day Penny moves in?

Q102: What is Penny’s home city?

Q103: When Leonard and Leslie Winkle had their first kiss, how far did the Earth move?

Q104: When Penny holds a Halloween party and Sheldon’s outfit is ‘The Doppler Effect’, what does Leonard suggest that he say he is instead?

Q105: Leonard’s middle name (see Part One, Question #2) was chosen to honour a scientist. What type of scientist?

Q106: When Leonard encountered alien life, what did he discover?

Q107: Which of our heroes is surprised to discover that he has a half-brother of whom he wasn’t previously aware?

Q108: When Raj and Sheldon discover an asteroid, what do they end up naming it?

Q109: Who does Penny meet in the online game ‘Age of Conan’ that finally convinces her that she needs help to recover from an addiction?

Q110: What words did Leonard think he’d never say?

Q111: When Penny tries to unlock her apartment door with her car keys, for how many months has she lacked coitus?

Q112: What are the last four digits of Penny’s ‘Social’?

Q113: What is Leonard’s birth month?

Q114: Does Leonard use a date of birth as a password?

Q115: What is the name of the guest celebrity Howard meets in the soup kitchen?

Q116: According to Amy, how long does it take a hagfish to fill a bucket with mucus?

Q117: What must one insert into the divot in Amy’s spine to make her leg kick?

Q118: Which notable Harry Potter character dies in episode #7? (Spoiler alert!)

Q119: Which notable Harry Potter character dies in episode #6? (Spoiler alert!)

Q120: What is the name that Sheldon gives to the planet he rules in his mind?

Q121: What is the name of the being with whom Howard has virtual sex under the Bridge of Souls?

Q122: What is the word that Sheldon uses to describe Raj’s desk?

Q123: When Sheldon recites a list of star names that are closest to Earth, which does he say is the closest?

Q124: Raj loses a ‘patang’ in a fight, what does Howard buy him to replace it?

Q125: Which one of our heroes is known to be lactose intolerant?

Q126: Which sport does Sheldon know as well as Quidditch?

Q127: What nickname does Howard try to get the other astronauts to call him?

Q128: What nickname do the other astronauts give Howard?

Q129: What is Leonard’s father’s profession?

Q130: What is the name of the man who has potatoes in his suitcase?

Q131: What did the puppeteer who did ‘Gino the Neutrino’ also do?

Q132: What does Professor Proton say when Penny asks if it would help to plug his pacemaker into a potato?

Q133: What is the name of Raj’s dog?

Q134: When Leonard brags about the sound effects he has done in D&D sessions, these include a unicorn and… ?

Q135: How long does it take Howard to make a Valentine’s Day gift for Bernadette that’s 1/1000th the size of a grain of sand?

Q136: Where did Bernadette hide Howard’s Xbox on Valentine’s Day?

Q137: Whose Valentine’s Day catchphrase is “Romance Ninja! Woh!”

Q138: When Raj gives a great speech on Valentine’s Day about ‘community’, what does he say when he leaves with Lucy?

Q139: Why was it appropriate for Elon Musk to appear as a guest celebrity on The Big Bang Theory?

Q140: Where is Leonard from?

Q141: When Sheldon is giving gifts to the tenure committee, to whom does he plan to give The Complete Works of Jackie Chan?

Q142: When Sheldon is giving gifts to the tenure committee, what does he give to Janine Davis, the head of Human Resources?

Q143: What is the name of the employee who dies, freeing up a tenure position?

Q144: When Sheldon tells Leonard he won’t be attending Professor Tupperman’s wake, he says it’s because the train store will be doing what?

Q145: What name did Raj always think he’d have had if he were white?

Q146: What is it about Barry Kripke that makes children ‘waugh and waugh’?

Q147: What is the name of the new friend Sheldon makes when he takes Amy onto a train for Valentine’s Day?

Q148: According to Eric, in what year did the ‘4-10-4’ train make its first appearance?

Q149: Which D&D scenario do our heroes play while their other halves go to Las Vegas?

Q150: Who is Barry’s favourite superhero?

Q151: When Professor Proton dies and shows up as ‘Sheldon’s Obi Wan’, what is the first piece of advice he gives to Sheldon?

Q152: What is the name of the Beach Boys song that Sheldon gets as an earworm?

Q153: What is the name of Penny’s first pet?

Q154: According to the (dead) Professor Proton, do the guardians of the galaxy (jedi) wear underwear?

Q155: When Sheldon suggests that he might have coitus with Amy, what does Penny break?

Q156: What is Howard’s house number?

Q157: What is Raj’s favourite movie?

Q158: When Sheldon (sr) watches the videotape made by Sheldon (jr) for Sheldon (sr) to watch when he reaches a crisis, what test phrase does he use to prove that it’s actually him?

Q159: When Sheldon has his ‘three strikes’ system in play, on what date does Penny commit her first strike?

Q160: On what night is ‘Halo Night’?

Q161: What (in the US) is the most common street name?

Q162: What, according to Dr Gablehauser, is the answer to the question “What is the purpose of the university”?

Q163: At what age does Penny acquire an addiction to an online role-playing game?

Q164: In what city is Leonard’s Halo opponent (when Howard tries to get him, Leonard, to go to see Blade Runner to get him, Leonard, out of the apartment so that they can prepare for his, Leonard’s, surprise birthday party)?

Q165: When Raj first begins the course of experimental medication that promises to ‘overcome pathological shyness’, which part of his body starts to misbehave?

Q166: When Sheldon has a dream of travelling into the future, on what date is he approached by morlocks in a forest?

Q167: Who was the President of the Tenant’s Association in the building where Leonard, Sheldon and Penny live?

Q168: For whom did Leonard scrub radioactive barrels (as a favour for Barry)?

Q169: Who is Sheldon’s best friend?

Q170: What device does Sheldon suggest one might use to measure humour?

Q171: When Penny blackmails Sheldon into agreeing to throw a ‘kick-ass birthday party’ for Leonard by threatening to draw a symbol – in ink – on one of his mint comics, what symbol does she propose to draw?

Q172: Who gave Leonard his first kiss?

Q173: Where do Penny and Leonard (first) get married?

Q174: When Amy tells Sheldon that she ‘needs so time to think’, to whom does Sheldon first turn for advice?

Q175: What is the real name (according to Sheldon) of the man in the unmarked white van who sells helium to Leonard and Sheldon?

Q176: Which episode of Star Trek was the first one that Sheldon watched?

Q177: Where is the security camera in Sheldon and Leonard’s apartment?

Q178: How many fingers does Sheldon’s great-great-grandmother have?

Q179: While crawling under the house with his father-in-law, Howard sees what he thinks is a seashell. What, according to his father-in-law, is it?

Q180: When Sheldon reveals to Amy that the singular of ‘confetti’ is ‘confetto’, what part of her anatomy does he indicate features one?

Q181: What do Howard and Bernadette find in their new hot tub the night that Bernadette plans to reveal to Howard that she’s pregnant?

Q182: What does Howard sit on that makes him believe he’s gone deaf?

Q183: On the night that ‘Fun with Flags’ goes live, how many callers does it get? (Bonus point for who.)

Q184: According to Leonard, if Sheldon’s testosterone dipped, what would he become?

Q185: When our heroes are trying to get into the online queue for ComicCon tickets, who succeeds – and what position does he get in the queue?

Q186: How long is a Galactic Year?

Q187: Which Archimedean solid has 20 regular triangular faces, 30 square faces, 12 pentagonal faces, 60 vertices and 120 edges?

Q188: How is Sheldon certain that he’s not in the Matrix?

Q189: What does “Come on, Sandwich, build me a Lemon ‘coz Froggie wants to come home” mean?

Q190: What was the wedding gift that Leonard & Penny gave to Sheldon & Amy (the same one that Rajesh gave to Howard & Bernadette for their wedding)?

Q191: What Chinese dish does Denise have a hankering for as a result of Stuart making a series of bad decisions?

Q192: After donning spectacles (to look like a scientist), what word does Penny use that triggers Leonard’s sexual urge?

Q193: When the girls play hookey and go to Disneyland, who gets to be Cinderella?

Q194: When Cinnamon eats Penny’s chocolates and is taken to the vet, what is the name of the vet who takes care of her?

Q195: How many years ago did a box drop on Eric’s head?

Q196: What was Sheldon clutching while sitting on top of a Ferris wheel with James Earl Jones?

Q197: Who was pre-med in college and almost became a doctor?

Q198: With whom did Sheldon sing ‘The Lion Sleeps Tonight’ in a karaoke bar?

Q199: Whose favourite city on Earth is Tijuana?

Q200: Who was it who voiced the opinion that Leonard sounded like “a real weenie”?

Answers

The answers are white text: you may need to highlight them to reveal them.

A101: 212

A102: Omaha, Nebraska

A103: 383 miles

A104: A zebra

A105: An anthropologist

A106: Not to sit in its spot

A107: Howard

A108: Amy

A109: “Sir Howard of Wolowitz”

A110: “Come on, nose-spider!”

A111: Six

A112: 7621

A113: May

A114: Yes

A115: Elon Musk

A116: One minute

A117: An AA battery

A118: Dobby the Elf

A119: Dumbledore

A120: Sheldon Alpha Five

A121: Glissinda the Troll

A122: brobdingnagian

A123: Proxima Centauri

A124: A ‘Hello Kitty’ kite

A125: Leonard

A126: Football

A127: ‘Rocket Man’

A128: ‘Fruit Loops’

A129: An anthropologist

A130: Professor Proton

A131: Professor Proton’s wife

A132: “No.”

A133: Cinnamon

A134: Bats

A135: 12 hours

A136: In the washing machine

A137: Leonard’s

A138: “Later, losers!”

A139: I have absolutely no idea.

A140: New Jersey

A141: Professor Wu

A142: Roots

A143: Professor Tupperman

A144: holding a cotillion

A145: Gavin

A146: ‘Something’

A147: Eric

A148: 1944

A149: The Dungeon of Mofooskay-Heeko!

A150: The Retractor

A151: “Always get a pre-nup.”

A152: Darling

A153: Pepper

A154: No.

A155: A wine glass.

A156: 845 (… I think?)

A157: The Princess Bride

A158: “Robot monkey butler.”

A159: March 18th

A160: Wednesday

A161: Second Street

A162: Money

A163: 22

A164: Copenhagen

A165: His right hand

A166: April 28th 28,701

A167: Sheldon

A168: Sheldon and Amy

A169: Leonard

A170: A humourmometer

A171: A tiny little happy face

A172: Geraldine Coco

A173: Las Vegas

A174: Gollum

A175: Kenneth FitzGerald

A176: The Galileo Seven

A177: Aquaman

A178: Nine

A179: A rat skull

A180: Her nose

A181: A rabbit

A182: The TV remote

A183: Two (bonus: ‘Rajesh and Bawwy’)

A184: A butterfly

A185: Leonard, 15211

A186: 250 million [Earth] years

A187: Rhombicosidodecahedron

A188: If he were, the food would taste better

A189: “Come on, Bernadette, build me a rocket ‘coz Howard wants to come home”

A190: A crystal chakra wand

A191: Orange chicken

A192: Molecules

A193: Bernadette

A194: Yvette

A195: Six

A196: A big teddy bear

A197: James Earl Jones

A198: James Earl Jones

A199: James Earl Jones

A200: James Earl Jones

Posted in ... wait, what?, Just for laughs, Phlyarology | Tagged , , | 17 Comments