When It All Goes To Hell
Title: When It All Goes To Hell (2)
Rating: To be safe, nc-17
Summary: "Pete was just so innocent. Innocent and deeply in love. It wasn't fair what happened to him, but does that really matter?" -- Patrick goes through Pete's old diary, hoping to find some answers to that unexplainable night.
Notes: I really want to thank
clippedwings for beta-ing this, because my grammar is just that terrible sometimes :D
Warnings: Death. If you don't like death-fics, please don't read this.
Previous:
http://community.livejournal.com/patrickxpeter/581168.html#cutid1
Peter Wentz Jan 30 2006
The days have been growing longer and colder. My only blanket has been Patrick. He's shielded me from the harsh realities I fail to accept. Fall Out Boy is quickly going downhill and I don't want to believe it. I know it's entirely my fault, why wouldn't it be?
Lately everything I've written has been complete crap. Crap enough for the guys to turn down, at least. I'm actually starting to lose sleep over this again. I thought I was out of that stage, but I guess I'm not as far out as I thought.
Maybe things would look up if I could just simply get out of this mood. I don't think that's possible, though, at this point in time, because I'm so fucked up I can't even begin to explain it.
Anyway, Patrick called about five minutes ago. I'm supposed to be meeting him at the park right now. I hope I have a good time tonight. Patrick is taking me out to dinner, then to a secret place behind the park he's been babbling on about. I should go though; he's probably waiting.
Pros: Patrick
Cons: LIFE
--Wentz.
Oh, Pete. I was there for a reason! Why didn't you talk to me? For crying out loud! I thought you were happy, I really honestly thought you were…
Peter Wentz February 6 2006
It's times like these that I really and honestly wish I could have Patrick to hold me. It's not often I actually ask for him to hold me, cause normally I'm the one doing the holding. It's just, right now, I'm so out of it. Patrick is at home for our week-long break. I wish I could say the same, but I can't go back there. My dad is furious about my relationship with Patrick, and now I've learned so is my mom.
I'm so fucking sorry I can't be perfect. So fucking sorry…
Patrick, my baby, I need you more than my lungs need air right now. Their attitude towards me really makes me feel so bad. Wash away my pain; take me away with you, Patrick. Take me back to that little field behind the park you showed me a few days ago. Back where we can lie in the tall grass in front of the hidden pond and I can just listen to every echoing beat of your heart as you fall asleep below me, angelic eyes fluttered shut.
You captivate me, darling. If only life had a remote that I could hit the rewind button on. I'd reverse back to that night. Everything was perfect, and our bodies melted into each other in the moonlight. There was actually a point where I felt our hearts beating as one…and right now that's all I need.
Pros: Nothing…
Cons: I'm still alive, aren't I?
--Wentz
Oh god, If only life really did have a rewind button. I promise I'd bring you back Pete, back far enough so I could stop this murder. I would relive everything and give my life for yours if it came down to it.
Slowly, I wipe the tears from my cheeks and glance out the window where I notice it's starting to snow.
Snow…
Peter Wentz February 16 2006
It's raining right now. I know that was useless information, but it kinda sets the mood I'm in. Negativity always seems to be the most of what your pages suffer from. I'm sorry, diary. I'll be happy today, I promise.
Our break is over today, so I get to see Patrick again. Things didn't go as bad as I'd thought with my parents, and I actually had a bed to sleep in. Life just gets overwhelming sometimes.
I only want to put in a tad bit of negative before I drown you in the positive. My parents took it upon themselves to go around and tell the whole family I have a relationship going with Patrick. Jerks. Now my whole family hates my guts. Just what I need.
Back to the point. I saw Patrick all day today and he was nothing but amazing to me. Maybe life can turn around sometimes. I'm in a particularly good mood now. I think I'm going to try and get Patrick to have sex with me again tonight. It's been almost two weeks, and masturbating isn't quite getting the job done. I can tell Patrick is tense as well, so I'm off to try and seduce the little bastard. I'll let you know how it goes.
--Wentz
Ps: I'm baaaackkk! If you couldn't tell from my cheerfulness, I just got laid, bitch. I honestly wouldn't mind sex like that every night.
Pros: Life, love, Patrick
Cons: Still not sure I want to be fully alive at the moment.
I can't help but smile. I remember that night all too well. Pete was very demanding when he wanted something. I remember he came up to me, shirt-sleeves cut to a tank top, pants on extra tight with a large smile across his face.
"Patrick," he had said, wrapping his arms around my neck. "Make sweet love to me?"
Now how do you resist that?
I didn't.
Gently, I place Pete's diary down, throwing my arms into the air in an attempted stretch. Once my muscles loosen, I let my arms fall back to my sides and yawn, suddenly noticing my dry mouth. I guess some water wouldn't hurt anything.
As I exit Pete's room, my eyes roam up to the clock in the hallway.
10:30 PM.
Pete wouldn't mind if I stayed the night, would he? I'm sure it wouldn't be too much of a hassle. He knew how much I loved his bed after a long day.
Well, whether I have his consent or not, I'm staying. I've got a murder mystery to solve, and I'm not going to give up that easily.
Pete, I'm a few steps closer to putting this case to rest.
You had better believe I won't stop until I do.
End Two
Rating: To be safe, nc-17
Summary: "Pete was just so innocent. Innocent and deeply in love. It wasn't fair what happened to him, but does that really matter?" -- Patrick goes through Pete's old diary, hoping to find some answers to that unexplainable night.
Notes: I really want to thank
clippedwings for beta-ing this, because my grammar is just that terrible sometimes :DWarnings: Death. If you don't like death-fics, please don't read this.
Previous:
http://community.livejournal.com/patrickxpeter/581168.html#cutid1
Peter Wentz Jan 30 2006
The days have been growing longer and colder. My only blanket has been Patrick. He's shielded me from the harsh realities I fail to accept. Fall Out Boy is quickly going downhill and I don't want to believe it. I know it's entirely my fault, why wouldn't it be?
Lately everything I've written has been complete crap. Crap enough for the guys to turn down, at least. I'm actually starting to lose sleep over this again. I thought I was out of that stage, but I guess I'm not as far out as I thought.
Maybe things would look up if I could just simply get out of this mood. I don't think that's possible, though, at this point in time, because I'm so fucked up I can't even begin to explain it.
Anyway, Patrick called about five minutes ago. I'm supposed to be meeting him at the park right now. I hope I have a good time tonight. Patrick is taking me out to dinner, then to a secret place behind the park he's been babbling on about. I should go though; he's probably waiting.
Pros: Patrick
Cons: LIFE
--Wentz.
Oh, Pete. I was there for a reason! Why didn't you talk to me? For crying out loud! I thought you were happy, I really honestly thought you were…
Peter Wentz February 6 2006
It's times like these that I really and honestly wish I could have Patrick to hold me. It's not often I actually ask for him to hold me, cause normally I'm the one doing the holding. It's just, right now, I'm so out of it. Patrick is at home for our week-long break. I wish I could say the same, but I can't go back there. My dad is furious about my relationship with Patrick, and now I've learned so is my mom.
I'm so fucking sorry I can't be perfect. So fucking sorry…
Patrick, my baby, I need you more than my lungs need air right now. Their attitude towards me really makes me feel so bad. Wash away my pain; take me away with you, Patrick. Take me back to that little field behind the park you showed me a few days ago. Back where we can lie in the tall grass in front of the hidden pond and I can just listen to every echoing beat of your heart as you fall asleep below me, angelic eyes fluttered shut.
You captivate me, darling. If only life had a remote that I could hit the rewind button on. I'd reverse back to that night. Everything was perfect, and our bodies melted into each other in the moonlight. There was actually a point where I felt our hearts beating as one…and right now that's all I need.
Pros: Nothing…
Cons: I'm still alive, aren't I?
--Wentz
Oh god, If only life really did have a rewind button. I promise I'd bring you back Pete, back far enough so I could stop this murder. I would relive everything and give my life for yours if it came down to it.
Slowly, I wipe the tears from my cheeks and glance out the window where I notice it's starting to snow.
Snow…
Peter Wentz February 16 2006
It's raining right now. I know that was useless information, but it kinda sets the mood I'm in. Negativity always seems to be the most of what your pages suffer from. I'm sorry, diary. I'll be happy today, I promise.
Our break is over today, so I get to see Patrick again. Things didn't go as bad as I'd thought with my parents, and I actually had a bed to sleep in. Life just gets overwhelming sometimes.
I only want to put in a tad bit of negative before I drown you in the positive. My parents took it upon themselves to go around and tell the whole family I have a relationship going with Patrick. Jerks. Now my whole family hates my guts. Just what I need.
Back to the point. I saw Patrick all day today and he was nothing but amazing to me. Maybe life can turn around sometimes. I'm in a particularly good mood now. I think I'm going to try and get Patrick to have sex with me again tonight. It's been almost two weeks, and masturbating isn't quite getting the job done. I can tell Patrick is tense as well, so I'm off to try and seduce the little bastard. I'll let you know how it goes.
--Wentz
Ps: I'm baaaackkk! If you couldn't tell from my cheerfulness, I just got laid, bitch. I honestly wouldn't mind sex like that every night.
Pros: Life, love, Patrick
Cons: Still not sure I want to be fully alive at the moment.
I can't help but smile. I remember that night all too well. Pete was very demanding when he wanted something. I remember he came up to me, shirt-sleeves cut to a tank top, pants on extra tight with a large smile across his face.
"Patrick," he had said, wrapping his arms around my neck. "Make sweet love to me?"
Now how do you resist that?
I didn't.
Gently, I place Pete's diary down, throwing my arms into the air in an attempted stretch. Once my muscles loosen, I let my arms fall back to my sides and yawn, suddenly noticing my dry mouth. I guess some water wouldn't hurt anything.
As I exit Pete's room, my eyes roam up to the clock in the hallway.
10:30 PM.
Pete wouldn't mind if I stayed the night, would he? I'm sure it wouldn't be too much of a hassle. He knew how much I loved his bed after a long day.
Well, whether I have his consent or not, I'm staying. I've got a murder mystery to solve, and I'm not going to give up that easily.
Pete, I'm a few steps closer to putting this case to rest.
You had better believe I won't stop until I do.
End Two