it has been ages and I just randomly clicked the link in my favorites and this is still here
and still working.

so mayve I will use it again, not sure who is here anymore but whatever.
life is veru odd at the moment, I have had a problem with my back for a couple of months and yesterday got injections to try and relieve the pain.
up to the point it flared up I had b een doing well on the pokemon diet, cut out most all carbs, was walking 5 to 10 kms per day, dropping weight like a madman. and then the pain, sciatica is not something that is at all forgiving. it cripples me, I can work as long as I am sitting on a heating pad, I can drive as the seat in the car provides that same function. but beyond that movement is limited.
the shots do not seem to have really eliminated the pain, its not as bad but still there.
hopefully that will improve or it will be surgery next.
I find that I am missing things in my life, I live alone, which some would say is a glorious state of being. I miss people around me, I miss human contact, I miss just hearing someone else in the house somewhere. Johnny is good but he stays in his room for the most part and I only see him on bathroom trips and when he comes or goes.
maybe more later, I need to think

and as the nights continue to be dark it gets hard to keep focus
I lay in bed today watching the grey skies out my window
all I wanted to do was crawl further under the covers
and hunch into a smaller ball
I feel as if there is nothing I can do
the phone never rings
the door is not knocked upon
the list of people who I come in contact with dwindles
lights extinguish one by one
soon darkness inherits the land

There are days I just hate my life
I look at all the stupid choices I have made over the years
The lost opportunities
The wrong place wrong time happenstance
The willful bad mistakes
There are days I sit on the edge of the bed when I should be getting up for work and just wonder who would truly miss me when I’m gone
That if it were over the pain I feel daily would be done
It’s not a good solution but it is a solution and then has great temptation
The pangs of loneliness rip through me causing tears to run down my face
And there is no one to notice
It could be days after I do this that anyone even starts to wonder
Most of the time there is no joy, no touch, no warmth.
I can go days without speaking to anyone beyond work
Weeks without touching another human being
Years without intimate contact
They say the pain gets easier and it gets better
They lie
It does not get better
It stays bad or gets worse
Today while working I spaced for a few minutes during lecture and the students wondered if I had a stroke
I wish I had
I wish I got something that killed my brain and body so that it would just be over.

So where is out intrepid hero?
This week I am in the office in Denver.
I dont spend a lot of time out here, just a week or two a month is the plan.
The rest of the time will be on the road or working from home.

Home,
Well Mel and I are still roommates and have not killed each other yet.
In fact we are getting ready to move to a new place.
renting a house next to Framingham State College, 4 bed room with space
for a home office for me, a spot for a carving garage and even a forge.
Also space for her to do her massage stuff.

Faire stuff,
I went to KRF on opening weekend and bittersweet is the appropriate word.
so many that I remember are not there anymore
so many i remember that are still there.
it has changed and it is still the same.

other than that I am just getting along, day at a time type of thing.

once I have the address to the new place it will be available.

and because I will have a decent size place, the Yule Party is back on.

So I have been working for the new company since labor day.
one week in denver followed by now two weeks at home.
I find this to be both odd and difficult.
I am looking for interaction with other people.
and there really is none here.
Cats unlike dogs are really not good companions, they seem to like sleeping all day and only interacting at the middle of the night.

Is there no help for hte widows son.

I have a friend in great distress.
Contact me

williamlchapman@yahoo.com

for my new company name.
I am going to be doing training, consulting, presentation coaching for executives.
any suggestions, as just being the Evil Duke is going to communicate a negative perceptions.

thanks
Bill

So I have been "unemployed for one week"
I have re-done the resume
I have had phone interviews
I have more set up
I have talked to lots of people at MS about partnership opportunities
I have Courses headed for the Courseware library as we speak
Opportunities abound
I am mostly packed in the apartement, and am moving back to the house in Florida
I will start the drive of the y'allhaul and drive east until I am too tired, pull over into a truck stop, sleep until I wake and repeat until I am in Riverview.
I am hoping three to 4 dayas to go from one corner to the other.
I may spend time on the phone calling people to kill the time and set up things
much to be done so that there is a cash flow and more opportunities than i had last week.

Today was my last day at Microsoft.
Caught up in various re-organizations, such a nice neutral term for it.
I am now figuring out what comes next.

that is all for now

sometimes the question really is, why bother

wait thats completely the wrong direction
I am heading back to seattle today for 6 more weeks apart
the plague from prague is starting to subside but i am anticipating many long hours of discomfort on the plane
and then much work to be done
or rather being seen to be doing work
often a better thing
other than that not much to report of late
other than the Wife is working for the Stuporbowl here in town.
woot and fun

Buying a Harley Davidson because it gets 50 MPG
is like using biology to explain sex, accurate but it takes out all the fun

so this weekend I made a new meal

Modified Chicken Kiev
Take flattened chicken breast(pound flat in a large bag to about 1/4 to 3/8 inch thick)

in a sautee pan,
1 small onion, diced
1 teaspoon minced garlic
1 package (3x6x9) baby spinach chopped fine
1/2 cup cashews chopped fine
melt butter and slowly sautee all ingredients to a moderate paste.

spread paste on flattened chicken


in a seperate bowl,room temperature melt 2 sticks butter and add shredded gorgonzola, shredded meunster, and shredded parmesan and mix thoroughly.
chill again until mostly solid
make good size cannells and roll this on top of spinach inside chicken

floor. egg and bread crumbs onto the rolled chicken

fry lightly in a pan to sear the edges

back at 325 for 25 minutes

mmmmmm


side dish,
shredd 2 apples, and 2 cups carrots
slow cook in some butter, salt and pepper

add at the end of cooking rissotto

mmmmmmm

i made a casserole of cheeseburger macaroni
sort of
started with
2 onions chopped fine
table spoon minced garlic (too lazy to mince fresh)
cup of mushrooms shredded
olive oil
salt and pepper

heat this until the aromatics are starting are clear and looking like they might brown soon

add 1.5 lb lean ground beef and brown

add 3 cups water
1.5 cups beef broth
2 cans cheddar cheese soup (I just like it ok?)
1 lb pasta( elbows for me)
2 cups shredded broccoli crowns

bring to a boil
simmer on medium until cooked stirring regularly


then i put it into a casserole dish covered it with grated parmesan and cheddar cheese and cheezy breadcrumbs and baked for 20 minutes to set and solidify.

it is nummy

and it contains 4 vegetables

its actually a clear and beautiful day out here in the western edge of the world.
today I got to do laundry, clean the apt and make food for the week.
today was making of meatloaf and risotto
the difference is that in the meatloaf were 4 cups of spinach shredded and 2 cups of shredded carrots.
in the risotto was parmesan and shredded cauliflower
look real vegetables in the food

for Voting for Barack

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/cc65ed650d

the pod is emptied and there is now furniture in the house.
not a lot of it but at least some
i need to get a co-ax cable to be able to move the tv to the other side of the living room
and now announcing



The Yule Party 2008

Thats right, its back.
In the state where it should be, Florida.
12/20/2008
If you are a friend and want to come, let us know.

Bill

that is all

on my way to TPA
and then three weeks in Florida with wife
there is a trip to the mouse
furniture to unload
lawns to mow
looking forward to it all

3 hours of ironing later
it is all done and i have a closet full of nicely pressed or starched shirts
always a good feeling
and today has been about 12 hours of cleaning work
in a small apartment
it seems a bit much