The Legend

of

Chewy Sunset

by Cloyd Campfire

(2000 A.D.)

~

~ 1 ~

Chewy Sunset come floatin’

out of a desert mirage

riding Spanky,

    his old faithful mule ~

~

They topped the rise

with

one drop left

   of fuel ~

~

And glided down into those

coastal lands

of Star Trek dreams

   and computer folly ~

~

Where they landed on

the edge of

Imperial Beach,

    by golly…

~

~ 2 ~

Now Chewy was stoked full

of

desert

  know-how ~

~

Taught him by a seductive

white widow who’d been

a Papago’s wife on the Rez

    for 20 years some-how ~

~

She had taught Chewy without

saying a word

She schooled him

   with just her eyes ~

~

Blue

like

desert

  skies ~

~

For graduation

she

kicked him out of

    the little Sonoran Desert town ~

~

So here he was with a

new mission in life

that

   he found ~

~

Under

a

rock

   on the beach ~

~

His new mission was to support

the City Council of IB with all

that a blonde desert goddess

had done teach ~

~

With

her

magic

   eyes ~

~

Beneath them

distant

stretched out

    desert skies…

~

~ 3 ~

But first Chewy

had to

sell

    poor faithful Spanky ~

~

Which made

them

both

     thorn-pricking cranky ~

~

‘Cuz it was

un-

lawful

   in Californeee ~

~

For the old

beast

to

    be ~

~

A-

live

&

    free ~

~

Without a smog device

crippling

his

    fragile dignity ~

~

Chew sold Spank

for just enough

to buy

    a candy bar ~

~

 Heart-

y

 har!

 har!

~

So to the

City Council Meeting

afoot

   Chewy Sunset wearily went ~

~

A homeless man

with-

out

    one cent…

~

~ 4 ~

An aura of concern

glowed

around

    the Mayor’s head ~

~

“Thrift stores & tatoo parlors

should

be

    banned,” she said ~

~

The City Manager, with

his forehead

ablush with

    a thought, speedily replied ~

~

“If we invoke

’eminent domain’

we can get national retailers

    to perhaps reside” ~

~

“To attract them here

it should be illegal to have

unkept yards,” a Council Lady

   did duly say ~

~

“And cars that do not run,”

another said, “must

all be

towed away!”

~

“Yes!” exclaimed the Mayor

halo-ed

in the verily verily bright

    flourescent ceiling light ~

~

“We must increase the

city revenue and

all of this

  seems to be quite right!”

~

The City Attorney woke-up

and drawled, “I’ll make sure

there’s no

    incriminating legal faction” ~

~

The City Manager added,

“And I’ll

come back

  with hyper formal action!”

~

“Great!” said ‘de Mayor ~ & all ‘de

City Council smile benignly at

little crowd in

    IB  City Hall gov’ment room ~

~

But all the City Council

could see were the eyes of Chewy

Sunset glaring back a

   deep desert glooooooom…

~

~ 5 ~

Some of the folks agreed

with their local gov’ment’s

proposals ~ and

   some did not ~

~

Some of them voiced their

intelligent opinions ~ and

some were

   exceptionally hot ~

~

But it was the eyes of

Chewy Sunset

that the City Council

   could not ignore ~

~

The old boy’s eyes

did not blink or move

they just

   bore n’ bore ~

~

Into the very souls of

the local gov’ment people

sittin’ on

   the platform up front ~

~

Sittin’ there like helpless

prey

in a merciless

   hunt ~

~

‘Til they felt themselves falling

down a rabbit hole

like the one

Alice had once fallen down ~

~

A hole full of Indian spirits

and dust devils

spinnin’ and

   spinnin’ around…

~

~ 6 ~

Finally the City Council

ended up

so mixed up

   in the head ~

~

The Mayor

in a

hollow voice

    she said ~

~

“Let’s drain the ocean

make it

into a

     desert instead” ~

~

The only

male Council Member

tilted

    his head ~

~

And said, “We’ll beach an

aircraft carrier ~ make it

into a pueblo

    for the homeless” ~

~

“I’ll look into the

legalities,” drawled

the City Attorney

    in a voice that was toneless ~

~ 

The pretty City Clerk who

was wearing

a neck brace

   this historical night ~

~

Added in a voice

that was

far

    away and light ~

~

“Let’s outlaw cars that run

and turn cars that don’t

into plant pots

    for native shrubs” ~

~

“Bravo!” cried a

Council Member who

had already been planting

    roses in old bath tubs ~

~

“Then we won’t need

traffic lights ~ especially

those

     that are red” ~

~ 

And yours truly

refuses to report

all else

    that was said…

~ 

~ 7 ~

Chewy blinked and

left early

feeling like one of

the walking dead ~

~

He’d meant to support

the heros & heroines on the

City Council but made

fools out of them instead ~

~

More or less like the gal

in the desert

had done to him

with her stunning eyes ~

~

He sadly trudged away

below the

dark & accusing

   California skies…

~

~ 8 ~

However, there might

be a moral

here ~ yes, I be-

lieve it’s true ~

~

If you keep an eye

on your Local Gov’ment

it just might

perform for you.

~

###