So I apparently tried to kill myself last weekend...


I had an Angelo show Friday, and a Micro Head 4n's show on Sunday...then my friend/awkward nanpa boy asked me if I wanted to go see his friend's band on Saturday...





and like a dumbass I did @_@





The lives were all awesome.
Angelo is always good (and Takeo, once again, can do NO wrong)


マイフォ was very fun, light, happy, and I was having creepy highschool crush feels.

DISGUST (friend's band) was surprisingly enjoyable.



Angelo pics for this time



I have decided, however, that I am getting too old for this stand around for six hours in a tiny smokey livehouse thing. Just too old -_-;;







In real life news, it's almost 2013 and I'm a little shocked.
I've been trying to fathom the future recently and it's making my head hurt.

How long do I want to do this?
How long do I want to stay here?
What the fuck is happening?



I'm still having feels of wanting to make more of a permanent life somewhere but the implications of choosing to do that here are still a little scary.





Madison, my niece, turned three the other day.
I'm way freaked out by that as well.
The whole of everything back home is so different to me now that I'm scared to go back...and it's only been a little over a year DX



Hmm...I feel like these thoughts are all the same though and they just resurface every few months.
So it goes.





I've decided that I need to start by trying to organize my life a little better.
I'm not overly concerned with the fact that I live in a chaotic hole, that's never going to change, but I feel like if I can remove some of the extraneous chaos I might feel better.
I still think I may want to move too o.O


I borrowed a book from mynameisdish about style and life and it's very...motivating I guess.



Maybe once I figure out day to day I can figure out month to month and then year to year?
I dunno...maybe...

I posted in my ameblo






I feel so accomplished even though it was like...7 lines.




These are the things I do when I should be sleeping.

Holy shit....

dude, I saw Kisaki


in PERSON D8





No lie, I was excited.
I am not a fan of his but I was so enthralled by seeing someone that has been basically whoring all over VK since...well since ever.



I'm fairly certain he lives in someone's basement.
...and we saw him in a basement...




He also has ginormous horse teeth.
That made the night hilarious~


That and Rame singing a Phantasmagoria song in what was basically live karaoke XD



Unfortunately I didn't get a picture of any sign outside of the club (because I'm a dumbass and forgot)

I did, however, get this lovely, blurry picture of the inside of the venue as everyone was leaving.


perspective: I was leaning on the bar at the front left corner of the stage when I took this.
Yes that IS the back wall there on the right.
We were standing right in front of that blue line, all the way to the side opposite from the door.

No, there was nowhere in that room to hide from the judgemental stares of every single band member on stage @_@

It's raining.





Again...




Two days of work left before the weekend.
I have a live to go to on Tuesday but it doesn't FEEL like I'm going to a live on Tuesday.
What is gonna happen???


I've been awake for a while just listening to the rain and waiting for the KuroNeko man to deliver my tickets that I missed yesterday.


Sitting in a dark room listening to the rain does weird things to my brain...
I think next year I'll start a journal.
...like a real journal.


I was just thinking about some old journals my mom wrote when she was in boot camp that I found last summer before I moved...
I feel like it would be a good idea but I also feel like I can't rely on myself to ACTUALLY keep up writing in it.






Hmm...
In other news:

Take your damn sunglasses off you stunted freak!!

Also, Kirito, I feel like we need to talk.
This may change your life...
Noone ever told you...but I think you're a gay midget.

No, I haven't listened to it yet.
I am currently slaving over a hot DVD ripper grappling with difficult audio and video input and output settings while categorizing everything meticulously and....

fuck it, I'm sitting on the couch like a college boy drinking Dr.Pepper and I'm sure if I had any I'd be scratching my balls. I apologize for the disgusting visual but that's my feel right now





As I wait for the DVD to slowly rip, I want to make a few pre-listen predictions.


The booklet is uninteresting and the packaging is...well a little uninspired and unartistic.
Not that it looks like crap or anything...it's not really what I was expecting.


Every page looks like this.
Same black page with white text.
Different boring picture.
NOTHING else...


As usual, Kirito is the sole lyricist, I wasn't expecting anything else and honestly would have been kinda meh if he wasn't.
Karyu has scooted right on into songwriter position with exactly half of the music on this album crediting him.


Giru has yet to give anything beyond his adorable stage presence and apparent fear of Kirito.
I don't even expect anything from Takeo since I'm convinced he's secretly the CEO of some huge ass company somewhere and this is actually just his side gig XD




As for pre-listen thoughts...
I'm a little weirded out by how Kirito has been going recently.
All of his music has been...well...happier.
It's not bad, FAR from bad but...just different.

I think all of his rage is finally gone.


Karyu, on the other hand, has been consistently writing heavier stuff for them and while I can tell that is has a distinct cohesive....feel, it's still all different enough that it's exciting.






In closing, if this album sucks I'm divorcing them all for at LEAST a week.

except Takeo.

Takeo can do no wrong.

Ever.

You guys...

ChildFOOD.




That is the back of my lovely new used copy of Hyde's book.
Title: the HYDE

My title: Childfood DEATH




I haven't read much but it is fascinating
....and I also need to work on my kanji skillz D8






I'm off to the good ole' Land of the Free and Home of the Brave in around three weeks.

Can anyone explain to me why I am both really excited and really not?











I want to grow my hair a little longer but the growing out of the last cut I got is not gelling.
I need some style cut into it...some layers or something.
I need to resist cutting it off again.
I need to stop coveting boy hair.



I also need someone to tell me where I can get leopard print hotpants.

Oh HAY I never posted about Fukuoka.





So there was KxK goodness.
Karyu is an Ero Terrorist.
Kirito has a crush on Giru,
while Giru has a crush on Kohta.
Kohta cried *wibble*
...and Takeo stoically takes in the boobs.




Tomorrow is the Osaka show at the Hatch, followed by the instore on Friday.
I'm a little disappointed that only Kirito and Karyu are coming...
but really more than that I'm just wondering what the fuck everyone else is doing.



....also I wanna know if FM Osaka allows visitors to their radio shows....

So, does anyone want to tell me how intensely stupid I am right now?



That damn piece of paper cost me 5,040 yen (getting close to in the neighborhood of $70 US)









So yeah, I am 12.
But I don't feel so bad because elektrajolt and jadesun are right with me.





June is Angelo month now and forever.
Take that loserface Jun.

mynameisdish and I went on an impromptu shopping day today.


The plan was Loft.
Loft for bath salts...that is all


So, we got the bath salts...





but how the HELL did this happen???

....they have Superman too...
I kinda want to go get more >_>

After a stupidly long time spent in Hep 5 and Loft we had parfaits







I'm gonna go eat a banana now and pretend like my room is not an utter mess.
Somebody suggest some new icons for me...I'm bored with my six ;_;

My whole being hurts but in a kinda good, weird, live workout kinda way.



Anyway, been a while, oops >.>...
Japan has finally "settled" for me a little (after half a year) and work really doesn't bug me too much. I'm not getting screwed half as hard as some other people so I'm just going to ride it out until the contract is up and then see about moving on or sticking around. At any rate, my job is easy as fuck and doesn't require even half of my attention most of the time so I figure I have a sweet enough deal for the time being.




As far as life outside of work...been to a few lives recently, gone and done some shopping, generally need to stop spending money.
ALL of the lives were fun (regardless of knowing the band or not) but really I'm mostly looking forward to Angelo's Summer tour.
elektrajolt and I are travelling to Fukuoka to meet jadesun for the show there (the day before Kohta's birthday ♥). I'm stupid happy to 1) see them again, 2) see them with my beautiful, wonderful, magical Pierrot lovelies, and 3) see what they're gonna do to torture poor baby brother as he turns 37.
A week and a half later will be the Namba Hatch show with elektrajolt again and mynameisdish. I'm excited for her to see Kirito in person XD

On the Kyushuu note, I am also going to spend a lovely long week away from Osaka, in Kawatana and the surrounding area, with my darling lovely wonderful dearest jadesun. I am ridiculously excited for vacation times and friend times and just fuckin' YAY!!!!



ライブ記念プリ～☆♪