okay, so this whole substitute teaching thing? maybe not the best idea i've ever had. not the _worst_ idea (of which we shall never speak), but not so good.
was abandoned by the administration with basically an esl class with 15 minutes of work for the high school students to do in a 45 minute period. fun fun fun. things i learned throughout the course of the day?
1. when you know that you cannot get to a bathroom for four hours at a time (no leaving the children unattended, no leaving the open classroom unattended - they don't give subs keys, no teacher next door who could keep an eye out), suddenly you really really really want to go to a bathroom even though you haven't had anything to drink all day because you kind of thought the system would fuck you over like that.
2. i know more spanish than i thought i did. i can identify which conversations are about classwork, which are about sex, which are about what a bitch i am, and which are about other random high school trauma. go team me.
3. high schoolers are so fucking young. seriously. they're like seven years old. "miss! miss! miss, the phone's ringing!" "miss, i have to go to the bathroom!" "but miss, why do i have to put my cellphone away? miss!" omg. sit down, stfu, and fill out the damn worksheet. hell, sit down, stfu, and go to sleep for all i care, just stop wriggling!
4. in addition to being young, high schoolers are also smelly. almost every girl in each class had on some sort of lotion, hair spray, body spray, and flavored-smelling lip gloss. ick.
5. classrooms should have an atlas, a thesaurus, a dictionary, and a set of encyclopedias. possibly several of each.
6. i am, at heart, not a lenient person. alas. each student who asked got a two minute pass to get water or a seven minute pass to use the restroom. my theory? anyone who needs more than seven minutes should instead take a hall pass to see the nurse. the shock on the 17 yr. old macho men's faces was kind of awesome.
7. people are strangely conditioned. when the class wouldn't stfu and read their books, i told them that they had to read until the last five minutes of class when they'd need to write up a summary of what they'd read and could then talk quietly with each other. they did it. this makes no sense to me. why would you give up 25 minutes of talking quietly for five minutes at the end of class? it was obvious they didn't really want to read, and quite honestly, there was no way that i could make them read. but give them an if...then statement and they're fine. fucked up, man.
so, yeah. none of us died, so i suppose the day was a success. joy. tomorrow and monday i'm filling out applications for crappy retail jobs. also, trying to find back plastic purse handles for the my new creation - halloween is coming, which means i get to buy lots and lots of fabric and notions! glee!
was abandoned by the administration with basically an esl class with 15 minutes of work for the high school students to do in a 45 minute period. fun fun fun. things i learned throughout the course of the day?
1. when you know that you cannot get to a bathroom for four hours at a time (no leaving the children unattended, no leaving the open classroom unattended - they don't give subs keys, no teacher next door who could keep an eye out), suddenly you really really really want to go to a bathroom even though you haven't had anything to drink all day because you kind of thought the system would fuck you over like that.
2. i know more spanish than i thought i did. i can identify which conversations are about classwork, which are about sex, which are about what a bitch i am, and which are about other random high school trauma. go team me.
3. high schoolers are so fucking young. seriously. they're like seven years old. "miss! miss! miss, the phone's ringing!" "miss, i have to go to the bathroom!" "but miss, why do i have to put my cellphone away? miss!" omg. sit down, stfu, and fill out the damn worksheet. hell, sit down, stfu, and go to sleep for all i care, just stop wriggling!
4. in addition to being young, high schoolers are also smelly. almost every girl in each class had on some sort of lotion, hair spray, body spray, and flavored-smelling lip gloss. ick.
5. classrooms should have an atlas, a thesaurus, a dictionary, and a set of encyclopedias. possibly several of each.
6. i am, at heart, not a lenient person. alas. each student who asked got a two minute pass to get water or a seven minute pass to use the restroom. my theory? anyone who needs more than seven minutes should instead take a hall pass to see the nurse. the shock on the 17 yr. old macho men's faces was kind of awesome.
7. people are strangely conditioned. when the class wouldn't stfu and read their books, i told them that they had to read until the last five minutes of class when they'd need to write up a summary of what they'd read and could then talk quietly with each other. they did it. this makes no sense to me. why would you give up 25 minutes of talking quietly for five minutes at the end of class? it was obvious they didn't really want to read, and quite honestly, there was no way that i could make them read. but give them an if...then statement and they're fine. fucked up, man.
so, yeah. none of us died, so i suppose the day was a success. joy. tomorrow and monday i'm filling out applications for crappy retail jobs. also, trying to find back plastic purse handles for the my new creation - halloween is coming, which means i get to buy lots and lots of fabric and notions! glee!
- where:tx
- diagnosis:
cynical - what:94.7 webstreaming
of the many differences between pdx and sa (and oh are there so very very many) i think the most day to day crushing glaring jesus fuck why problem is music.
yeah, you heard me.
there are zero, count 'em ZERO, radio stations worth listening to in this cultureforsaken place. seriously. it's either cockrock (and don't misunderstand, i do love me some loud hard cockrock for say roadtrips or traffic from hell, but it gets a bit much 24/7) or tejano or eighties or whinypoprock (they played backstreet boys yesterday. i am undecided as to whether i am more horrified by the playing of backstreet boys or the fact that i recognized the band as the backstreet boys. either way, i am undone.)
is it too much to ask for some jimmy eat world? silversun pickups? foo fighers? death cab? hell, ramones? bowie? iggy pop? sex pistols???
apparently so.
i do not approve.
thank god for internet streaming and downloading.
i hate it here.
yeah, you heard me.
there are zero, count 'em ZERO, radio stations worth listening to in this cultureforsaken place. seriously. it's either cockrock (and don't misunderstand, i do love me some loud hard cockrock for say roadtrips or traffic from hell, but it gets a bit much 24/7) or tejano or eighties or whinypoprock (they played backstreet boys yesterday. i am undecided as to whether i am more horrified by the playing of backstreet boys or the fact that i recognized the band as the backstreet boys. either way, i am undone.)
is it too much to ask for some jimmy eat world? silversun pickups? foo fighers? death cab? hell, ramones? bowie? iggy pop? sex pistols???
apparently so.
i do not approve.
thank god for internet streaming and downloading.
i hate it here.
- diagnosis:
cranky - what:rhcp 94.7
- where:sa
Bon voyage, Haku & Pet.
At 6 am my mom & aunt catnapped them and started the long drive to Texas (doesn't that sound like a band name - Long Drive to Texas? I bet they would play a startling mix of stream of consciousness emo and country - with armadillos. I should never be involved in any sort of naming process. sigh)
It'll take about five days to drive them down - for some odd reason, Mom doesn't want to drive more than 8 hours a day. They have a Dodge Grand Caravan stuffed with all my comic books, cds, & dvds, as well as most of my clothing and framed artwork. Of course, this means that all I want to do is read comics, watch old dvds, and listen to the cds that I don't have on my ipod now. alas. what i actually get to do is write two research papers in the next 30 hours in between classes. i should have done them last week, but i seem to be overwhelmed with the crushing apathy of depression from which there is no escape, only daytime television.
it's fun. really.
see, i didn't get into any of the grad school programs i applied to (3 confirmed rejections, 4 all but the final letter rejections). kind a of a combination of being out of school too long without a research job and being too narrow in my research interests. so, um, yeah. i have nothing. no home, no job, no school, & no significant other. i think if i had at least one of these things, i wouldn't feel like i'm completely wasting my life. but i have none of them, so on with the depression and panick attacks and not giving a fuck about the two stupid papers that are just busy-work and don't matter at all anyways.
it's fine. i need to completely restructure my five year plan, find a research job, & find an apartment. not completely overwhelming. just, y'know, mostly.
i think i may scream.
At 6 am my mom & aunt catnapped them and started the long drive to Texas (doesn't that sound like a band name - Long Drive to Texas? I bet they would play a startling mix of stream of consciousness emo and country - with armadillos. I should never be involved in any sort of naming process. sigh)
It'll take about five days to drive them down - for some odd reason, Mom doesn't want to drive more than 8 hours a day. They have a Dodge Grand Caravan stuffed with all my comic books, cds, & dvds, as well as most of my clothing and framed artwork. Of course, this means that all I want to do is read comics, watch old dvds, and listen to the cds that I don't have on my ipod now. alas. what i actually get to do is write two research papers in the next 30 hours in between classes. i should have done them last week, but i seem to be overwhelmed with the crushing apathy of depression from which there is no escape, only daytime television.
it's fun. really.
see, i didn't get into any of the grad school programs i applied to (3 confirmed rejections, 4 all but the final letter rejections). kind a of a combination of being out of school too long without a research job and being too narrow in my research interests. so, um, yeah. i have nothing. no home, no job, no school, & no significant other. i think if i had at least one of these things, i wouldn't feel like i'm completely wasting my life. but i have none of them, so on with the depression and panick attacks and not giving a fuck about the two stupid papers that are just busy-work and don't matter at all anyways.
it's fine. i need to completely restructure my five year plan, find a research job, & find an apartment. not completely overwhelming. just, y'know, mostly.
i think i may scream.
- what:eleni mandell
- diagnosis:
numb - where:PSU Computer Lab
i'm bored.
this is not a good thing.
i've been sick for the past week (missing 3 & 1/2 days of classes) and the previous week there were snow days and absent professors.
so psu classes, which i find incredibly difficult to take seriously anyways, are now overwhelmingly hard to care about.
but they still exist, assignments and all, so i guess i'll pay attention to them...at some point...later...over there...or something.
it'll be another month at least before i have answers from grad schools, so the feeling of "this is all just a holding pattern and doesn't matter and is totally depressing and oh god what am i doing" won't clear up for at least that long. in an effort to keep from spending the next 30 days sleeping and being emo, i've decided to make plans to do things (and, y'know, follow the plans).
some of these things are useful:
- plan out Texas Deathmarch: The Journey Home
- get a haircut
- do my taxes
- sort through my possessions for trash, storage, or ride-along
some of these things are constructive fun:
- finish knitting my mother's scarf
- shoot/put together a photo album of portland/reed
- create/bind an address book and fill it out for postcards from TDm:TJH
others, however, are just wacky:
- design button tattoos, find tattooist, get tattooed
- dye hair
- shoot/create tarot deck from holga images
- design & sew futon cushions/throw
- watch entire Twin Peaks series + Fire Walk With Me in one sitting (obviously to be postponed until after April release of season 2)
- find decent handcuffs and carry for no discernable reason at all times except in airports
- memorize the World's Nations song from animaniacs, sing at inappropriate times
- learn to cartwheel
- combine the last four items into unsettling madness and spread about Texas
this is why i shouldn't be left to my own devices for so long.
this is not a good thing.
i've been sick for the past week (missing 3 & 1/2 days of classes) and the previous week there were snow days and absent professors.
so psu classes, which i find incredibly difficult to take seriously anyways, are now overwhelmingly hard to care about.
but they still exist, assignments and all, so i guess i'll pay attention to them...at some point...later...over there...or something.
it'll be another month at least before i have answers from grad schools, so the feeling of "this is all just a holding pattern and doesn't matter and is totally depressing and oh god what am i doing" won't clear up for at least that long. in an effort to keep from spending the next 30 days sleeping and being emo, i've decided to make plans to do things (and, y'know, follow the plans).
some of these things are useful:
- plan out Texas Deathmarch: The Journey Home
- get a haircut
- do my taxes
- sort through my possessions for trash, storage, or ride-along
some of these things are constructive fun:
- finish knitting my mother's scarf
- shoot/put together a photo album of portland/reed
- create/bind an address book and fill it out for postcards from TDm:TJH
others, however, are just wacky:
- design button tattoos, find tattooist, get tattooed
- dye hair
- shoot/create tarot deck from holga images
- design & sew futon cushions/throw
- watch entire Twin Peaks series + Fire Walk With Me in one sitting (obviously to be postponed until after April release of season 2)
- find decent handcuffs and carry for no discernable reason at all times except in airports
- memorize the World's Nations song from animaniacs, sing at inappropriate times
- learn to cartwheel
- combine the last four items into unsettling madness and spread about Texas
this is why i shouldn't be left to my own devices for so long.
- where:apartment
- diagnosis:
bored - what:evanescence
Lost:
One voice, female aged 24 years.
Mid-range vocals, tendency to drawl when tired and curse in several (mostly real) languages.
Permanently set on sarcastic.
Abducted three days ago, current suspects include Horrible Winter Plague, Cough Of Doom, and General Malaise.
If found, please return to the sulking girl in the corner desperately repressing the urge to tell her classmates exactly what she thinks of them using the Universal Signlanguage of Fuck Off and Violence.
No reward is being offered at this time, except for removal of your name on the "People to Kill Come the Revolution" List for at least the next thirty days.
One voice, female aged 24 years.
Mid-range vocals, tendency to drawl when tired and curse in several (mostly real) languages.
Permanently set on sarcastic.
Abducted three days ago, current suspects include Horrible Winter Plague, Cough Of Doom, and General Malaise.
If found, please return to the sulking girl in the corner desperately repressing the urge to tell her classmates exactly what she thinks of them using the Universal Signlanguage of Fuck Off and Violence.
No reward is being offered at this time, except for removal of your name on the "People to Kill Come the Revolution" List for at least the next thirty days.
- where:apartment
- diagnosis: cranky
- what:studio 60
it's now 3:45 a.m.
for the past hour, my neighbors have been drunkenly shouting and listening to goddamn james brown.
i fucking hate james brown.
asking them to shut the hell up has accomplished nothing.
i fucking hate my neighbors.
damnit.
i am so looking forward to moving in two months.
for the past hour, my neighbors have been drunkenly shouting and listening to goddamn james brown.
i fucking hate james brown.
asking them to shut the hell up has accomplished nothing.
i fucking hate my neighbors.
damnit.
i am so looking forward to moving in two months.
- what:off-key drunken revelry
- diagnosis:
enraged - where:apartment
http://www.amazon.com/Twin-Peaks-Second-Season/dp/B000M3439E/sr=8-1/qid=1169276952/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/104-3814092-3002317?ie=UTF8&s=dvd
Twin Peaks Season Two is set to be released in April. Now you can watch all the episodes of Twin Peaks in the comfort of you own home sequentially. But, if you watch them all at once, do it on a day that you don't have to interact with the outside world too much. leads to ... inconveniences.
Twin Peaks Season Two is set to be released in April. Now you can watch all the episodes of Twin Peaks in the comfort of you own home sequentially. But, if you watch them all at once, do it on a day that you don't have to interact with the outside world too much. leads to ... inconveniences.
- diagnosis:
sick - what:in a graveyard
- where:apartment
recap of today:
earliest: woke up, coughed
earlier: woke up, coughed, cursed
early: woke up, coughed, cursed, coughed
late: woke up, coughed, cursed, coughed coughed coughed, gagged, coughed, retched, sobbed, showered, sobbed, cursed
mid-morning: went to class. v. sad. professor strangely absent, abandoned with only the TA's: scruffy, mckay, hottie, and dopey. experienced mckay trying to explain to a group of upper division psychology students that non-linear dynamic theory was not, in fact, a theory regarding linear static systems.
laughed, coughed, laughed, coughed, excused myself from class, coughed coughed gagged, considered reprising this morning's A Very Special Emo Shower Scene, decided that psu was scary enough without a jury rigged shower, returned to class.
watched scruffy and hottie eyefuck while dopey rattled on about the difference between a loop interaction and a dilineated interaction.
made list of reasons why still not king:
1. no dick
2. no noble blood
3. no kingdom
4. no psychotropic drugs
decided i was sufficiently dumb enough to rejoin class. watched mckay try to kill a student with his mind. v. impressed. left class upbeat.
late-morning: attended another class. coughed. used purple pen to take unnecessary notes. coughed. suppressed urge to use purple pen to shiv classmates. created v. disturbing doodles. scared table-mates. left upbeat.
mid-day: battled with computer lab. vanquished pc, fought printer to a stalemate. coughed. retreated to gather resources for the final battle next monday. need ammo.
mid-der-day: accidentally found bus stop. was verbally accosted by an old man in a red & black plaid hat. coughed. scared old man with cough - ha! go go super secret plague ninja powers!
afternoon: returned to lair. coughed. drank tea. attempted to reach zen-as-zombie stage in enlightenment. failed. coughed.
sigh.
cough.
earliest: woke up, coughed
earlier: woke up, coughed, cursed
early: woke up, coughed, cursed, coughed
late: woke up, coughed, cursed, coughed coughed coughed, gagged, coughed, retched, sobbed, showered, sobbed, cursed
mid-morning: went to class. v. sad. professor strangely absent, abandoned with only the TA's: scruffy, mckay, hottie, and dopey. experienced mckay trying to explain to a group of upper division psychology students that non-linear dynamic theory was not, in fact, a theory regarding linear static systems.
laughed, coughed, laughed, coughed, excused myself from class, coughed coughed gagged, considered reprising this morning's A Very Special Emo Shower Scene, decided that psu was scary enough without a jury rigged shower, returned to class.
watched scruffy and hottie eyefuck while dopey rattled on about the difference between a loop interaction and a dilineated interaction.
made list of reasons why still not king:
1. no dick
2. no noble blood
3. no kingdom
4. no psychotropic drugs
decided i was sufficiently dumb enough to rejoin class. watched mckay try to kill a student with his mind. v. impressed. left class upbeat.
late-morning: attended another class. coughed. used purple pen to take unnecessary notes. coughed. suppressed urge to use purple pen to shiv classmates. created v. disturbing doodles. scared table-mates. left upbeat.
mid-day: battled with computer lab. vanquished pc, fought printer to a stalemate. coughed. retreated to gather resources for the final battle next monday. need ammo.
mid-der-day: accidentally found bus stop. was verbally accosted by an old man in a red & black plaid hat. coughed. scared old man with cough - ha! go go super secret plague ninja powers!
afternoon: returned to lair. coughed. drank tea. attempted to reach zen-as-zombie stage in enlightenment. failed. coughed.
sigh.
cough.
- what:even gods do
- diagnosis: sick
- where:home
david lynch is batshit insane.
also, he made a brilliant movie that is a bit over three hours long and makes you want selective brain bleach. seriously.
i have no idea how i'm going to sleep tonight.
it's worth the experience of seeing it on the big screen, as there are films within films and cinema symbolism, but i would have been far more comfortable at home with a pause and rewind button at hand.
possibly also with pinky and the brain or animaniacs on standby for when my brain exploded.
i just watched part of an episode of firefly and river made perfect sense. damn you, david lynch. simon, however, was incomprehensible.
also, he made a brilliant movie that is a bit over three hours long and makes you want selective brain bleach. seriously.
i have no idea how i'm going to sleep tonight.
it's worth the experience of seeing it on the big screen, as there are films within films and cinema symbolism, but i would have been far more comfortable at home with a pause and rewind button at hand.
possibly also with pinky and the brain or animaniacs on standby for when my brain exploded.
i just watched part of an episode of firefly and river made perfect sense. damn you, david lynch. simon, however, was incomprehensible.
- where:home
- diagnosis:
confused - what:rhcp
Comments
She's 25, though. 26 way too damn soon.
We are here for you. Feel free to call and scream if you so desire/need. We even have room for an air mattress, and floor space in the…
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