It's time for an update. Last night I was trying to write a few lines here, but the outcome was miserable. When it comes to writing or talking about your feelings, it's just so hard. Sometimes it would be just good to let something out, but I always face the problem of it. Last night my mood was just going up and down. When I think of it now, I might know the reason. My life is looking good right now, but I feel the insecurity of new things.
But well, I wanted to tell about yesterday. I've been thinking of buying a new cd-tower because the ones I have are already full, and there are CD's lying all around my tables. We had planned on going to a second hand shop with my mom, and because she had a free day from work, we decided to go. I really like going to second hand shops. You can find anything, but I don't buy much stuff I don't need. This time there was one black cd-tower which I was thinking of buying but it wasn't what I wanted after all. But well, I bought two car magazines and a tie. I just couldn't resist buying this tie. I'll tell you later why.
We came back home and my dad had warmed the sauna, and it was enjoyable to go there. When I went back home I decided to watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. What a great movie by Tim Burton once again! It really put me on a good mood. I felt fine. But then something happened and I began to feel distressed. I was thinking about my life, my friendships, and everything. I cried. I tried to find ways to get out of it. Writing here didn't work. I know I get happy and sad easily. I found the happiness again and went to bed. I saw dreams of my friends. Alarming dreams. Do my friends really care about me? Do I even have real friends? Times are different now when I'm not a child anymore, and that's sad. Friends are different. I'm different. Everything is different, but why am I so pathetic? I feel I can't make any new friends anymore. I've become old and boring and I don't believe in myself. In a mental level I can't have my friends close to me, but I'm socializing with my old friends more than before. It makes me feel good. If my family would suddenly die, I'd be alone in this world.
These are dark times but I feel better now. I don't want to keep those thoughts killing me inside. If I'd write here everytime I'm happy, I'd be flooding.
I'd like to talk about something else also. As you all know I bought a car some time ago. It is just so nice to drive anywhere I want while listening to good music. The gas prices aren't that nice though, and in this weather the car eats gas 10 litres / 100km. Especially when most of my driving happens in the city. So far there hasn't been much problems. Only few days ago I saw that the fuel tank is leaking a little bit. It's not that bad, only a drip once in a while. It's not that unusual with old cars. There are ways to fix it, and I'll try if I can. Only one time the car has stopped without my permission, and it was when I ran out of gas :D I was wondering what's happening when the car suddenly began to act funnily, and then it stopped. I managed to turn it on again, but it stopped again. Luckily there was a big downhill and at the bottom there was a gas station =D For once I was really lucky. Althought I couldnt manage to drive the car at the place where you get gas, I luckily had a canister in my trunk. And ta-daa, soon I was back on the road again. I really did a big misscalculation with the fuel. I didn't think my tank was so empty, and even the meter didn't say so. But now I know how much it eats the gas and my friend who has same car also, admitted the fact. 7l / 100km it should take at summer. It's getting quite cold and slippery so I have to change the winter tires soon. You have to have them before December.
Talking about December, my favorite month of the year, there will be once again some nice happenings waiting for me. My grandma turns 85 years 16th of December and my mom and her siblings decided to have a great celebration this time. Her 80-years birthday party wasn't organized that well, because all the people didn't have seats, but this times they have rented some place where the party is beign held. My sister has already planned that we are going to read a poem together to our grandma. We'll see how it'll be. I also have to be there at the door with my cousins husband to take peoples jackets off. LOL. There will be of course lot of old people. Oh, and the reason why I bough the tie is of course this party. I've only owned one tie before, and I've been wearing it every time with my suit. In this new tie there's a picture of those Loonie Tunes characters Sylvester "pussycat" and that Tweety Bird. That bird is on Sylvester's head and trying to hit a golf ball. Then there's a text. "Where's the birdie?" I thought it was hilarious.
The party should be over around 5pm, which gives me enough to get ready to Nightwish gig at Caribia, Turku at the same day! I'm going there with my friend Jussi and my sister, and Jussi's sister. I've been watching the youtube clips of their US-tour and I have to say that the clips has been really convincing. Now they are are real band again, and it's been a long time since the band has been that good live. Anette was a very good choise after all. Tarja's own album just hit the stores and there are some good moments in it, but as a whole it's still far from brilliant. Still I have to admit that I was waiting for something much worse. Most of the songs are mid-tempo which gets a little tiring at the end. The album is good in when listened in small amounts. Those songs that were meant to be rough they're produced soft, so the peaceful songs stand up. Poison cover was just a bad idea. I have to say that the song she made all by herself, Oasis, is amazing. Minor Heavean gives a few chills also. The problem is that there's just no structure in this album. None song is longer than the radio length. It's more like a set of songs with emotions sung by Tarja. It's understandable if you think how many people there were making it. Well, these are just my first thought, but I don't think it'll change a much. Next week a new Primordial album will be released and I'm not expecting anything else than amazing album. :)
Lately I haven't been playing the guitar that much, but now I really have a reason to play it because I decided to make a song with my friend. He has very good equipments in recording and I took my guitar to his place once and I was amazed by the sound. He already made one song and I'm going to play some guitars in it. I don't know what to play yet. He also offered me a chance to record anything I want with his equipments. So if I'll make a song in the future, I'll record it at his place :) My own computer microphone is lousy.
I should end this writing soon, because one of my friends is going to visit me tomorrow, and I decided to vacuum clean my house today. We're going to a restaurant to eat pizza or kebab also. He has never been at my apartment, so I though it would be nice to show it to him. I usually see him only in school, and I've known him since elementary school.
My boss from my summer work company phoned me and asked if I could do the work next weekend. I'm more than happy to do it. Extra cash is always welcome.
Then ice hockey. Here are last games of TPS:
I've been happy and proud to see that TPS has been playing very well lately. Now they are fighting with all their heart. We are 1st or 2nd if you look how many points we've gained in last 10 games. Last time we beat Pelicans, they're leading the series. *happy* Heh, and one of my friends with whom I was quite close something like 5 years ago is now graduated from School of Economics. We used to go play ice hockey almost every day. We also got a lot of ice hockey sticks from TPS junior team as you see:
Sticks from Vahalahti, Seikola, Joseph, Eronen, Forsell, Shearer, etc. Mainly former TPS players. This pic is old btw.
Anyway, I was more than amazed when I found out that this my friend has already found a job already, and I read it from the homepage of another hockey team in Turku. My friend is the new marketing manager for TuTo (Turun Toverit)!! :D WHAT A JACKPOT FOR HIM!!!
He said that when they ordered new sticks to one TuTo player (Forsell) the sticks were wrong for him and now they have loads of them. My friend might give one of those to me. Nowadays those sticks are worth 300 euros a piece. Forsell plays right hand down like me, which is great. I can use the stick also. ;)
I'm going to an interview next monday. If they choose me, then my future will seem more clear. :) I'll tell later more about it.
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