True Romance

Days go by. Some are good, some are worse, but they all pass quicker than the dates move on the calendar. Sometimes the shadows engulf me. Other days, I chase the sunlight and wonder at the horizon, jump through puddles on Tito's square and fall asleep laughing.

Her love coloured everything, and I marvel at it. I have been blessed in life, I have known love and tenderness. My boys, my roomies, they have all been marked by their first love, broken and stitched back woefully. For me, the memory of us is the foundation my world is built on. In dark days, the lack of a soft voice in this new hard world tears me apart, and sometimes I wonder if I will ever stop comparing everyone else to her, but lighter days come, and her love is a shield from the stones in my belly.

Sometimes people are too hard for me. Their wounds eat at me like poison, and I wonder who they are fooling with such harsh words.

Sometimes we laugh. Sometimes the world is majestic and my heart becomes whole again, it bursts with love and laughter. I was lucky once, yes, to meet love, but I am lucky now too. To have such people... It is a gift. I would have withered in this stone city, but they give it colour and purpose. Not friends, for they are more and less than friends. I share my home with them and so they are my happiness and my family. For a flutter in the spirals of time. For a beat of heart. They will go, like others went before them, but like before, others will come after. And deep in me, they will remain seated in their chairs even when in reality the rooms empty and we leave this house, like Alja said.

Life wants to teach me to be happy by myself, but perhaps sometimes life is wrong too. I am at peace with myself, but sunshine on their lips and in their hearts makes life worthy.