It took me longer than expected to write the final day up. I think part of me isn't ready to finalize this vacation. But it had to be done.

I hope you enjoy perusing the photos.

https://squixtography.blogspot.com/2022/06/inca-trail-day-4-machu-picchu.html

I know you have all been awaiting this.. LoL.. https://squixtography.blogspot.com/2022/05/inca-trail-day-3.html

Instead of recapping my day 3 walk I put together a shutterfly book.
Here is the virtual copy if you want to check it out!
https://www.shutterfly.com/share-product/?shareid=1b5e9496-eaa3-4308-b7fd-680dee7fd3f4&cid=SHARPRDWEBORDLNK

This was the long day. 16km and over 12 hours of hiking. I get exhausting just remembering it lol.. Rain, hail, cold and then the sun came out. 2 peaks highest elevation 13,779 feet.

https://squixtography.blogspot.com/2022/05/inca-trail-day-2.html

Over the next several days I will be recapping each day of my Inca trail hike over on my squixtography blogspot. If you are interested in the details with photos check it out: https://squixtography.blogspot.com/2022/05/inca-trail-day-1.html

In about 30 hours I will finally be in Peru!
I have dreamed of visiting Peru and Machu Picchu since I was a teenager. I had this trip planned sept 2020. I am excited to finally be going but man international travel has gotten so tedious. There is a ton of paperwork and documents you need now including covid vaccine proof and health declarations.

Anyways, I hope to update here when I get back in a few weeks. until then!

I often have every intention of sitting down and blogging but I get distracted so easily. ver the past 5 years my life has changed so dramatically, I got married, I joined the YMCA, I started running, etc etc. My life focus is so different that I don't even know what to say.
I am so proud of my husband! Sunday he ran his 4th half marathon and a personal record. He is amazing and I am blessed to have him by my side!

I volunteered at the finish line for the Xenia half and full marathon. This was my first time volunteering and my first time ever being at a marathon. I cheered in every runner and watched the myriad of emotions as they crossed the finish line.

It was amazing! There is something really powerful and magical about seeing people run/stagger across that finish line.
Makes want to see a gallery of photos of non-elite athletes crossing finish lines after endurance runs. That moment of elated exhaustion relief and accomplishment seems almost zen. Like No other thoughts but I'm here. Several of them actually threw their arms around me and just hugged me. They were so excited they didn't even care that we were complete strangers.

More Musings About Endurance Runs:
-Everyone has a story, a journey
- everyone has advice unique to their journey
- every journey is worthy and worth telling (I wish I had time to hear them all)
-arm warmers have a benefit in cold weather that turns warm then cold/breezy
- everyone deserves to have someone be it a stranger or friend/family to cheer them in and congratulate them when they finish


I am nowhere near ready to run a full but I have renewed passion to get out there and go long!

October 23, 2022 Niagra falls - We got this!

I just want a break from work and life stress. I just want room to breathe and have hope that people will stop being assholes.

Working patient facing in the medical field is so horrible right now. There is no break. A vacation is just an interlude and I never know what new crap I'll be facing when I return. I Love my job. I love helping people. However I am so over the top done dealing with the hate from patients. Deep down I know they are stressed to too. We are all at the end of our ropes, treading water, or whatever analogy you want to make. It is hard to put on a smile and try and be positive regardless of what every news article says. My boss says 'this will end' she has been saying that for a year.

I only ask that we try and be nice to each other. Stop spewing hate. Stop picking sides and just be nice. Smile even when you don't want to. Say thank you even when you feel like crap. Stop adding to the hate and problems.

I told a co-worker I was trying to be a find solutions and not be a part of the problems (referring to the stress levels and low work morale of my employees). She laughed and said "how is that going for you?" It is like no one even wants to be happy. I'm all alone fighting to make things a little better and no one else seems to care.

Beautiful. A long time ago I came to the realization that I'm not the type of pretty that I'm attracted to, I will likely never look in the mirror and see myself as beautiful. Beauty is really in the eye of the beholder everyone is beautiful in their own right no matter what anyone else says.

As a little girl I would dress up and twirl pretending that I was beautiful. As a teenager I was angsty and no one really was looking. I didn't have anyone to encourage me to care about my appearance but every once in awhile I would try. I recall putting on a fancy dress and doing my makeup. I really tried and I proudly went up to my dad and asked him if I was beautiful my dad said 'No, you are cute like your mother' I knew in that instant no matter what I did I wouldn't be beautiful.

I was devasted but realistic. My dad married my 'cute' mother I convinced myself I didn't need to be beautiful. I would always be short, freckled and thick.

Several years later my dad told me he regretted saying that and that I was beautiful but the damage was done, I knew he spoke the truth because my father always spoke the truth to me (I was 6 when I asked about santa, it was my brother who tried to keep that magic alive).

I know that my heart and soul are beautiful. I see myself as strong, independent, and determined. But I still have that secret little girl dream of being beautiful.

Work - Well it is super stressful and I have a hard time from not bringing it home. Being a team lead means I have a lot responsibilities and find I get called or dragged into things on my days off. We have 2 employees on medical leave and it most everyone else are taking vacations and we just don't have staff to cover when they are gone. this is the nature of the beast working at a hospital but it is emotionally rough missing patients and working over daily.

Running - I run a fair bit. It help me stay focused and keep distracted from the crazy. I run 4-5 days a week typically I run about 5 miles a day with a long run of 8 - 10 miles once a week. Though the summer heat/humidity has been keeping me down. Recently It has been all about the races. I started trail running which is exciting as it is variable terrain and uneven surfaces lots of hills too. though most of my weekly running is paved or on the street. I've run 2 half marathons this year ( April and June) with another 2 planned (sept and Dec) and a ton of 5km

I never planned to be a runner it just kinda happened and then I met a female runner at the YMCA who introduced me to She runs this town and the local chapter on facebook. Now I have a group of women who all run and it is exciting to go out with them. It is also something Bastian and I can do together that isn't going out to eat or watching movies (our other two favorite pastimes)


Hubby and I run together often. I liked this photo of us because we may run together but he is faster than me so we kinda do our own thing and meet up before and after LOL.


Cinco De Mayo 5K in California next to the beach. My mom was there to cheer me on and take photos.


Fourth of July 5K in Ohio.


April Half marathon with a friend in California. It was a dry hot day.


June 12th Half Marathon. Bastian was able to capture a photo of me crossing the finish line on the Jumbotron! It was way to hot and humid to be running.


Some of my running friends post half marathon


Me post half marathon finally finding shade in the car. This is a great photo showing my utter exhaustion but that true accomplished euphoric feeling I had too. Again it was close to triple digits and like 70% humidity.


This was taken yesterday 7/11/2021 (incidentally 17 years to the day that I met Bastian). Pre 5K Trail run moment of Zen. It is my new favorite photo capturing that moment before I run when I'm just relaxing taking a breath getting focused, you know finding my zen.

Social: I have a core group of friends that we get together semi-regularly mostly to see movies. i am working to expand and see other friends but mostly they are busy with their own stuff and our schedules don't meld well. I am hopeful to host a SteamPunk themed party late Sept/early October as I am itching to host a gathering and have people over again. (anyone interested in visiting Ohio to attend?)


I was in California late April/early May Here is mom and I


Dad and I. Dad grew a beard during Covid for the first time in his 78 years of life. I really dig it on him.


Some of my local movie loving friends


Bastian and I were invited to an underground dinner party. It was quite fun with amazing food and wine!


A friend of ours captured this candid photo of us hiding behind a fan. (The hostess handed out fans to all the ladies)


I have a hard time updating on LJ. Often I type up a post and it errs out.

I hate to say it but I've become a regular Facebook updater what with my running group and family being on there it is just more gratifying and easier to post to. I am also the occasional Twitter and telegram updater too.

If you want to keep in touch I recommend E-mail Squixen(at)gmail(dot)com
and if you find yourself in Southern Ohio let me know.

I'm truly curious who still lurks around here? - what have you all been up to? - what keeps you on LJ? Comment so I know you are alive?

I made this little video as a birthday gift for my mom. I thought I would give those that still check out LJ a laugh. This was filmed over a 4 mile run around. Also, running Karaoke it is a thing. https://youtu.be/PQWKbM652ZA

Is emotionally and physically draining in a way I never could have imagined.
On the days that I work I have a constant headache - probably from the hours of being in negative pressure with a spacesuit on. My face physically aches from the pressure points of wearing a face mask. Changing clothing at work is now common place. I'm an expert at getting a shirt and pants on/off with never touching the outside. My hands are cracked and dry from the endless hand sanitizing. I come home leave my shoes in the garage and toss my clothes in the laundry and go straight to the showers. On particularly busy days I soak in my tub and breath.

With all that said the positive patients are the most rewarding patients I have ever had. They truly need my services and they are so thankful afterwards. They are weak and everyday I have to convince them to get up, to move, to just try until one day they get it and they start trying and then they walk and they say things like "You are the most important part of my day." or "without you I'd probably be dead." I have never seen myself as someone who could change lives. I go in do my job and move on. But right now, these patients, I feel they need me and that makes me feel special. But they are also needy and they take a lot and I need to remember to re-energize so I have something to give the next day for the next person.

As it stand I am only on our positive unit for 2-3 hours/day 4 days a week. I cant imagine what the staff up there a whole shift are going through.

Lastly - Let me know what you do to re-energize?

Prior to the sheltering at home and general lockdown of anything interactive and fun on April 19th My husband and I were set to perform a ballroom dance in our fursuits. I wonder if we will ever get around to performing or get back into dancing together.

But I feel like I'm failing.

I live for planning my next big vacation I had just booked the flight and put the deposit on our big adventure when the coronavirus began to make big news. Then it hit America and things shifted. We are suppose to go to Peru late August. I was to walk the Inca trail and see Machu Picchu a childhood dream of mine. Currently Peru is closed down. However Late August is almost 4 months away anything can happen. I can postpone the trip for free but to when? October? Next year? If the country is open and my tour is still going then I see no reason to change anything but I don't know when I'll know if it is open and if I'm going to change things up I need to do it by late July. If you know me well you know I plan my big trips and this 'wait and see' just depresses me.

In other news I will be travelling July 1 heading to Los Angeles to see the family. At least that trip seems final regardless of lock down.

All my convention plans (up to October)are cancelled. All my races turned virtual or postponed/cancelled. Virtual is eh, I enjoy seeing my running buddies and getting that face to face encouragement.

It is like all the joy and happiness has been sucked out of my existence.

Everyone is saying 'nothing will ever be the same' what does this even mean? Nothing is ever the same. Tomorrow can't be today literally every day is different than yesterday.

I decided to Donn my Bunny ears and tail and run around a 5K around the local park. It was fun. Not many people out but I think I made the few around laugh (from a socially appropriate distance of course).