The Journal of a Mousie Bean

Dear My Author:

SQUEEEEEEE!!! ^o^

Okay. Now we’ve got that out of the way, let me just dive right into this whole you-are-writing-fanfic-for-me-(BECAUSE-YOU-ARE-FABULOUS)-so-here-are-some-things-that-I-like! business. Right. Let’s dive into that.

(^o^!)

THINGS I LIKE IN FANFICTION

Honestly I’m really pretty open to whatever you feel comfortable writing in terms of genre. I’m not really much for wacky AUs. However, I don’t mind messing with time -- jumping forward or back a lot of years. I like porn but not PWP, and I also like non-porn, so... basically, do whatever you want as long as it contains a plot. :)

Oh, and: I don’t think rape is sexy. Sometimes it has a place in fic, but that place is a dark place, you know what I mean? I'll get into this a little more in the specific pairings part of things.

Which is now!

THE SPECIFIC PAIRINGS PART OF THINGS

The Devil Wears Prada: Andy/Miranda or Emily/Serena

So... I love Miranda. Love love love Miranda. OMGLOVE! Miranda. Did I make the point yet? Because I love her. I do. Anyway, so, yeah, Miranda!love, and thus Miranda!want-in-fic, but... it’s difficult, right? Because Andy works for her and that’s weird and sexual harassment and stuff. So I don’t know exactly how you want to handle that. Post-movie fic, when Andy’s quit? AU where Andy is Miranda’s professional equal, maybe at a different magazine or something? Some sort of unrequited crush on one side or another? I don’t know, it’s your story! Oh, I am being bossy! I am sorry. But basically I’m just trying to say sexual harassment ain’t how this mousie bean rolls. Or squeaks, or... sprouts. Or -- yep! Moving on. To... on Emily/Serena: you know what? The two of them are crazy hot. I really just don’t have any thoughts beyond that. THEY ARE SO HOT. ANYTHING THEY DO WILL BE SO HOT.

West Side Story: Anybodys/Anita

This was a pairing that I put in near the end of the ficathon and I don’t even know if it’s allowed by the rules because I don’t know if Anybodys would be considered to “canonically identify as female.” I don’t even know if anybody volunteered to write this fandom -- if you didn’t but you’ve seen the movie and you’re curious, Anybodys is the really butch girl who wants to run with the guys in the Jets. They sort of let her hang around with them but she can’t really be a Jet because she’s a girl, or that’s how they see her. And I don’t know if she could even be written in this ficathon, because she uses female pronouns and stuff but I think she feels like a boy and wants to be one, at least in some ways. Whether she just knows on a deep-down level that she is a boy -- like, whether she’s trans -- I don’t know because back then she wouldn’t have had a larger movement to identify with and help her understand the issue, you know? Anyway, so if the assumption is made that she’s not trans and so she can be in the ficathon, my whole thing about Anybodys/Anita is -- well, first of all, I think romances that cross battle lines are hot, and if the romances are queer that makes them even more transgressive. I like that a lot. And I always wondered about what Anybodys’ role is in that scene where Anita is attacked by the guys in the Jets. What is Anybodys feeling towards Anita at that moment? What does she do? This is sort of what I mean when I say rape has a place in fic but it’s a dark place. Anyway if you do want to write this pairing (which you probably don’t) I also really just like the idea of them having a romance, whatever kind of romance you want to write them having.

Desperate Housewives: Gaby/Edie, Katherine/Bree

This show is so amazing for femslash. Why isn’t there more of it out there? About the pairings, mostly I saw Gaby/Edie in that episode where Edie died, when they were all telling stories about their memories of her. Gaby’s story about the night she and Edie went out drinking? SO MUCH GAY, AHAHAHA GAY. And Katherine and Bree? All last season? ALSO SO MUCH CRAZY GAY. I think the characters would take these stories where they need to go, and as long as there’s focus on keeping the characterization true, either of these fics would be AWESOME.

Narnia Chronicles: Aravis/Susan or Aravis/Lucy

I love Aravis! I love how smart and butch she is. I could see her either going for a really beautiful femme (Susan) or a spunky, brave halfway-between-butch-and-femme girl (Lucy). On this one I have no specifications about anything at all. Go fluffy or angsty, sexy or plotty (or both) -- totally up to you.

Oh, thank you, dear fic writer! You are very excellent and I love getting fanfic written for me! ^o^

Oh oh oh! I just got an email about the femslash09 ficathon! Now I am going to have to remember that I have a LiveJournal, again! Uh-oh.

Really, I am way excited about the ficathon. I have never done such a thing before, but how cool is that concept, I ask you? I write someone a story, and someone else writes me a story! 'S awesome. (Actually, it lured me back to LiveJournal after months of trifling with Facebook notes. No one ever writes fanfiction in *those*.)

Hey, awesome person who is writing me a story: You are awesome! I know this journal tells you precisely nothing about me except that I like cats, aluminum foil, and meerkats (none of which, I hasten to assure you, are necessary in my fanfic). I will write one of those Dear Author note dealies though! I promise.

In the meantime. Thank you for being awesome!

Also! Glee was amazing! Amazing amazing amazing. Amazing!

Don't stop believing!

I would like all of you to know my kitten Button. But my digital camera is broken and I cannot take pictures of Button! This is sad.

Sophia Petrillo, on cats and lesbians:

"Jean is a nice person. She happens to like girls instead of guys. Some people like cats instead of dogs. Frankly, I'd rather live with a lesbian than a cat. Unless a lesbian sheds... that I don't know."

I would prefer to live with a lesbian and a cat, myself. Fortunately, if you break the demographics down, it becomes clear that if you are going to live with a lesbian, there is almost certainly going to be a cat moving in with her as well.

I'm baa-ack!

And I have discovered The Golden Girls in the interim. That's a hell of a show, folks. I ain't playin'.

You know what I really like?  Writing 5s. 

5s, in general, did not used to be much fun for me to write.  I didn't like how many strokes it took. Down, then back up and around, and then add the little hat; what a pain. 

I have recently decided to start writing 5s in one stroke.  Suddenly it's fun!  It's gone from an awkward, halting, tripartite series of movements to one long, smooth, stroke. 

Granted, half the time when I do it in one motion, it looks like an S.  It's still early times for me and the single-stroke 5.

But I shall persevere, and I will make better 5s than I have ever made.  And I will have fun doing it!

I like 5s.

I found a survey.  I think you call them "memes".  Now, are they "meems", or "meemees"?

1. Can you cook? A little bit.  Not very much.
2. What was your dream growing up? I wanted to be a famous singer, because I was delusional.
3. What talent do you wish you had? I wish I had more singing talent.  I also wish that I could draw, and that I had ESP.  The ability to fly would also be nice.
4. Favorite place? I have a book hammock.  It is enjoyable.
5. Favorite vegetable? Carrots.
6. What was the last book you read? I read a Babysitters Club book, because I am silly.  I still think that should be Babysitters' Club, with the apostrophe, but Janine decreed otherwise. 
7. What zodiac sign are you? Gemini.
8. Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? A coupla piercings.  Pondering a tattoo.
9. Worst Habit? I don't eat very well.
10. Do we know each other outside of Livejournal? I do not know who you are.  As far as I know, you *are* LiveJournal.  This question does not make sense to me.
11. What is your favorite sport? Volleyball, to play.  But basketball is fun to watch on TV.
12. Do you have a Negative or Optimistic attitude? I have an Attitude that random Capitalization is Irritating.  Other'n that, I am, as I think I mentioned before, generally a cheerybean.  But then I have my dark secretive side too.  Oooo.
13. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me? With... with LiveJournal?  I would make a post saying "Help!  I'm trapped in an elevator!  Someone let me out!"  Then no one would let me out, because I have three LiveJournal friends, and even if you saw it you would be like "What elevator?  Where?  How am I supposed to let you out when I'm thousands of miles away?"  And so on.
14. Worst thing to ever happen to you? This comes under the heading of things I keep to my dark secretive side.
15. Tell me one weird fact about you. I like meerkats and aluminum foil.
16. Do you have any pets? I have a kitten.  His name is in transition.  He's black.
17. Do you know how to do the Macarena? Oh, um, God, I probably could do it if you played the song and started doing it.  I mean, I could follow along. I can't remember how it goes now.  I think it's kind of a Pavlovian response thing, I can't remember it without the silly music.
18. What time is it where you are now? 9 pm.
19. Do you think clowns are cute or scary? Clowns are scary.  Nun-clowns are terrifying.  If you haven't seen the nun-clown, I will not traumatize you.
20. If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be? I would like a stronger chin.  If I could change two things, I would like higher cheekbones.  If I could change three things, I would make my face less round.  If I could change four things...
21. Would you be my partner in crime or my conscience? I don't know why LJ needs either of those things, but I am far more likely to be a partner in crime.
22. What color eyes do you have? Greeny-bluey.
23. Ever been arrested? It's a long story.
24. Bottle or Draft? Martini glass.
25. If you won $10,000 dollars today, what would you do with it? EVERYTHING.  I WOULD DO EVERYTHING EVER.  First I would pay off some debts though.
26. What kind of bubble gum do you prefer to chew? I prefer not to chew bubble gum.  But when I was a kid I liked to chew a whole package of grape Bubble-Yum at one time.
27. What's your favorite bar to hang at? Milky Way.
28. Do you believe in ghosts? I know people who've met them.
29. Favorite thing to do in your spare time? I like to turn on FOX and watch whatever version of American Idol they are airing at that particular moment.
30. Do you swear a lot? Like a motherfucker.  Except not really.
31. Biggest pet peeve? People who waste a lot of time fussing over pet peeves.  I'm quite chill, and I expect you to be, too.
32. In one word, how would you describe yourself? Silly.
33. In one word, how would you describe me? ...
34. Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you? HOW ARE YOU GOING TO FILL THIS OUT.  YOU ARE NOT A PERSON.

I found this by link-surfing randomly.  I have no idea from whom I got it.  Apparently that is not the right way to do these memes.

I think I would like to make a post in praise of aluminum foil.

Oh, sure, you're thinking "that's random."  Oh sure.  But is it?

I have just used aluminum foil.  I used it when I heated up a frozen pizza.  It kept me from having to wash the pan I heated the pizza on.

But aluminum foil does so much more, and yet its praises go unsung.  You call it random; I argue that this would not be random if people praised aluminum foil as frequently as it *ought* to be praised.

Example 1. You can giftwrap presents in aluminum foil.  It's true!  Oh, you think it's tacky, but really!  Aluminum foil is shiny, and it looks really pretty if you tie a bow around it and draw on it with markers.  Marker drawings look really cool on aluminum foil, especially if you use thick-tip markers and draw a lot of abstract wavy lines.  And you know what the best part is?  You don't need any tape.  Or anything.  You just press the edges wherever you want them to go, and they stay there.  Amazing.  If you do not recognize how wonderful this is, you must have been in present-wrapping school since birth.  Because I don't just mean you can wrap books and CDs in aluminum foil; you can wrap irregularly shaped vases, you can wrap children's toys that are flat on one side and the shape of a water gun on the other side, you can wrap bath salts or Russian matrushka dolls or whatever. It's all just as easy as wrapping a book.  Try *that* with six-dollars-a-roll Christmas paper you ordered from your neighbor's kid's school catalogue sale.

Example 2.  You can ward off alien rays with aluminum foil.  Important stuff.

Example 3. You can make your own Jennifer Hudson Oscar Night bolero jacket out of aluminum foil.  It's true!

Example 4.  You can make a makeshift mirror out of aluminum foil.

Example 5. You can crinkle aluminum foil into a little shiny ball and make your cats very excited.

You can twist it into any shape you want.  You can let it catch the light and stare at it for awhile (shinies are important.)   You can use it to cover food, or you can put it under food so the food doesn't dirty anything but the foil, or you can wrap individual pieces of food in it.  Saran wrap, wax paper, it's all just a pale, pale imitation of the real thing.  Aluminum foil.

All for a couple bucks a roll.

It's great stuff, I tell you.

::nods::

Hello!  I am a mousie.  And also a bean. 

I am usually a cheerybean, but sometimes I am a hiding mousie. 

Sometimes I can be both, and that's when I do things like making a LiveJournal. 

Do you like meerkats?  Because I do.  I like meerkats. 

Have a nice day!