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Mock The Face
for the satirically minded
13 May 2011 @ 11:17 pm
Edit 1:
A young, teenage girl was standing and looking down at a large stainless steel bowl. Beside that bowl were two more large, stainless steel bowls. In the three bowls were three large mud crabs, and although they were securely tied up, the girl kept her distance from them and dared not touch any. She asked her mother whether they were guys or girls and her mother replied that they were all males.
"Why?" the girl blinked, ever curious as to why the males were the only ones to be eaten for dinner.
"Because it's illegal to eat the females; if we eat all of the females, who's going to make babies?" her mother replied as she swept into the kitchen.
The girl thought for a moment before asking, "Who's going to have China's babies?"
A young, teenage girl was standing and looking down at a large stainless steel bowl. Beside that bowl were two more large, stainless steel bowls. In the three bowls were three large mud crabs, and although they were securely tied up, the girl kept her distance from them and dared not touch any. She asked her mother whether they were guys or girls and her mother replied that they were all males.
"Why?" the girl blinked, ever curious as to why the males were the only ones to be eaten for dinner.
"Because it's illegal to eat the females; if we eat all of the females, who's going to make babies?" her mother replied as she swept into the kitchen.
The girl thought for a moment before asking, "Who's going to have China's babies?"
Current Mood: 
awake
awake18 April 2011 @ 04:41 pm
EDIT 1:
A man was walking over to his favourite crepe stall. He was a suited, good looking man with a pleasant smile on his face. On his way a rather sullen, squalid looking man sat cross-legged on the concrete path with a cardboard sheet beside him that read ‘will sing for a meal’. Now, the man who wanted a crepe slowed as he strolled passed the beggar and stopped to watch all the men and women that hurried past him, without giving the poor man a second glance.
He frowned and looked up at the bright, cloudless blue sky and decided that he would do some good that day. After he bought two crepes, he went back to where the beggar was and squatted in front of the man.
“Excuse me,” he smiled, white teeth glistening in the sunlight. “Would you like a crepe?”
The beggar, delighted, nodded and began singing in an awfully tone deaf voice the song “Happy Birthday”. The business man winced but managed to keep smiling and after listening to the full melody, gave the crepe to the beggar and walked away.
The next day, in the recesses of the newspaper and obituaries, the business man noticed a tiny article on page 4 about an acclaimed crepe entrepreneur, whose company was near bankruptcy, dying from anaphylactic shock as a result of eating one of his own crepes.
A man was walking over to his favourite crepe stall. He was a suited, good looking man with a pleasant smile on his face. On his way a rather sullen, squalid looking man sat cross-legged on the concrete path with a cardboard sheet beside him that read ‘will sing for a meal’. Now, the man who wanted a crepe slowed as he strolled passed the beggar and stopped to watch all the men and women that hurried past him, without giving the poor man a second glance.
He frowned and looked up at the bright, cloudless blue sky and decided that he would do some good that day. After he bought two crepes, he went back to where the beggar was and squatted in front of the man.
“Excuse me,” he smiled, white teeth glistening in the sunlight. “Would you like a crepe?”
The beggar, delighted, nodded and began singing in an awfully tone deaf voice the song “Happy Birthday”. The business man winced but managed to keep smiling and after listening to the full melody, gave the crepe to the beggar and walked away.
The next day, in the recesses of the newspaper and obituaries, the business man noticed a tiny article on page 4 about an acclaimed crepe entrepreneur, whose company was near bankruptcy, dying from anaphylactic shock as a result of eating one of his own crepes.
12 April 2011 @ 04:22 pm
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11 April 2011 @ 10:35 pm
If you don't happen to live in Australia, I will explain what AAC Day is. It is on the 25th of April and is a day to celebrate the brave servicemen and women who have served and protected Australia countless times in countless wars and conflicts. The first AACs, with anxiety and excitement, reached the shores of Gallipoli, Turkey in 1915, to protect and aid the motherland, Britain, from definite peril and disaster during World War I.
Now, I'm sure for those of you who do know what AAC Day is think I've got it all wrong. "It's not AAC Day," you say, "It's ANZAC Day!" Now, is that really the case? ANZAC stands for Australian and New Zealand Army Corps. Nonetheless, Australians, either out of pure arrogance or ignorance, forget that the New Zealanders did serve alongside them 96 years ago. Over "7571 casualties, 2431 dead"[1] were of New Zealand origin/birthplace/ethnicity and yet Australians do not acknowledge this fact.
( Further sophisticated ranting ahead...Collapse )
Now, I'm sure for those of you who do know what AAC Day is think I've got it all wrong. "It's not AAC Day," you say, "It's ANZAC Day!" Now, is that really the case? ANZAC stands for Australian and New Zealand Army Corps. Nonetheless, Australians, either out of pure arrogance or ignorance, forget that the New Zealanders did serve alongside them 96 years ago. Over "7571 casualties, 2431 dead"[1] were of New Zealand origin/birthplace/ethnicity and yet Australians do not acknowledge this fact.
( Further sophisticated ranting ahead...Collapse )