i may be a bird in a cage but at least it's your cage
miss punk rock star of stage and screen
07:53 pm March 5th, 2014
i think you're missing an opportunity, fandom
Some of you will have seen this on Facebook AND Twitter, but, seriously, I love 33 1/3 open call proposal list day more than many, many things. (Things I do not love it more than: a particular super swank leather couch that is, alas, not mine; naps; baseball; live music; my Pentax K1000; and that thing where I flew to Atlanta to shoot Panic! and the crowd broke the venue. But more than lots of things.) The list is always a million miles long and so fucking RANDOM and DELICIOUS. This year, it is here.
Infinity On High is on there! Did one of you write that proposal? CONFESS. Honestly, bandom, you're missing out here: we spent so many goddamned words on some of those records, why aren't you bombarding Bloomsbury with your proposals for books on Cobra Starship? I AM DEAD SERIOUS.
I am not bombarding them because I like getting advances in the mail to write about more. The Exile In Guyville book comes out in May, I think, and it's fucking killer so far.
Hello! I am really not in 2014 so far, but I guess it's looking up.
I’ve been making what I call a Christmas mix — that is, not holiday songs but a mix made at the holidays — since 1997; first they were tapes, then for a few years cds, and finally, in the digital age, the last seven years have been downloadable zip files, and this year is no exception. These are songs — frequently but not necessarily released in 2013 — that meant something to me this year, for various reasons, and they are for you. The whole shebang is available as a zip file [here] (166MB, .zip). It's a Spotify playlist here.
Happy holidays, happy 2013, happy these are great songs — whatever floats your boat. This is from me to you. 2013 was some kind of year, good and bad both, and I was repeatedly reminded how much I am loved, which I sometimes forget, but I shouldn't. That's all you can expect: good, bad, love. Joy to you, baby.
If you creep about lurking and you only comment on one post all year, this would be a good one. I’m just sayin’. ♥
"Cups" -- Anna Kendrick: i've got my ticket for the long way 'round / two bottle whiskey for the way / and i sure would like some sweet company / and i'm leaving tomorrow what'd you say
"No Debts" -- Wooden Wand: no debts / no liens / no postponement of dreams / no more moving around / no burdens / no loads / nothing promised, nothing owed / only smooth sailing now/ smooth sailing now
"F Off" -- Elin Ruth: and i've turned myself inside out for you / and i have bent over backwards for you / now there's something that you could do in return for me / get yourself together and leave
"10 O'Clock" -- Little Green Cars: i don't want to have a bright idea / i just want to be able to think
"Joy To You Baby" -- Josh Ritter: joy to the many / and joy to the few / and joy to you baby / joy to me too
"Go Thru It" -- GriffinHouse: you can never get around / what you gotta go through
"Bless This Mess" -- Doc Feldman & the LD50: bless this mess of a heart / it's come apart at the seams / with hollowed out dreams scattered around / sometimes this town will drive you drink / if it don't drive you crazy
"Oh, Darling" -- San Fermin: oh darling don't be difficult / i can't abide
"Chapel Hill" -- Goodnight, Texas: i’m not like the kid you’d remember / i’m relaxed and satisfied
"Oh My Sweet Carolina" -- Portastatic: i was trying to find me something / but i wasn't sure just what
"Follow Your Arrow" -- Kacey Musgraves: so make lots of noise / kiss lots of boys / or kiss lots of girls / if that's something you're into
"Good Enough" -- Rachel Kiel: i'm good enough for you and you're good enough for me / and baby i think that's good enough
"Waiting On The River To Rise" -- Kingsley Flood: i got faith in faith / because the other choice / is no choice at all
"Super America" -- Bad Bad Hats: i want a sweet tea and a heart that won't break if you leave me
"Rewrite Our Lives" -- Ha Ha Tonka: i said that i don’t want to quit / i want a heart that’s synthetic / i want you to have one too / then we could try this all again
"New Year's Resolution" -- Camera Obscura: new year's resolution - to kiss you like i mean it
"Tells Me So" -- Boxed Wine:i just want to let you know / oh she says she tells me so
"Young Volcanoes" -- Fall Out Boy: it's all over now before it has begun / we've already won
"Four Simple Words" -- Frank Turner: somebody told me that music with guitars / was going out of fashion, and i had to laugh / this shit wasn't fashionable back when i fell in love / so if the hipsters move on why should i give a fuck
"Cups (You're Gonna Miss Me)" -- Lulu & the Lampshades:you're gonna miss me by my walk / you'll miss me by my talk / you're gonna miss me when i'm gone
LJ, you are all posting so much! It makes me really happy even though I'm still not posting.
Here are some things:
I am buying a townhouse here in the Thrill! I close the week before Christmas. Buying a house, if you have never done it, is completely terrifying and requires you to sign your name to six thousand and four things, and aside from hearing that at the end of it they give you a house, I am still not quite sure why anyone, let alone me, does it. I am so tired of my own name.
I had an idea and started curating a series on the music / photo blog called The First Album I Ever Bought. You can read them all thus far here, and see how to submit in the first post. You should write one! I am having so much fucking fun reading the submissions and seeing what people were influenced by. And take your time, I'm all set through mid-January. No rush.
I am really glad that Extra Hot Great came back this fall, and I still listen to the Eggybread Wonderlatch mini episode, like, twice a week.
The only TV I am currently watching: Grimm, Major Crimes, and Brooklyn Nine-nine.
Because over the summer I got really obsessed with The Closer and Grimm because they were free on Amazon Prime and I could watch them in bed via the Roku, which is possibly the greatest invention of modern technology.
So Grimm because it's still on, and Major Crimes because eh, I can take or leave Captain Detective President Roslyn, but the supporting cast that carried over from The Closer is great.
I went to RiotFest with press credentials, and it was pretty much the most amazing thing I've ever done to date, even if three days of walking and standing and rain on Sunday did literally peel three layers of skin off the soles of my feet. Standing two feet from Joan Jett, Debbie Harry, and Exene Cervenka in one weekend, plus bonus Frank Iero in the rain with Reggie and the Full Effect? SOLD.
Reggie & the Full Effect are playing one of the tiny clubs in the Thrill in January and I want to go but I also kind of worry that Frank might accidentally maim someone on a stage that small.
Fall Out Boy + Frank Iero this year, and working out credentials for Panic's tour in the winter, and it's kind of like I had a 2008 head injury all over again.
On Twitter I mostly talk about how being a grown up sucks and our cats, but it's there.
Jason Isbell's new record is in my top ten of 2013, which let me tell you is totally the biggest example of how loads of therapy is good for your forgiveness mechanism.
The 17th Annual Christmas Mix is coming in two weeks. It's good, guys. And I'll get the link right the first time this year.
THOSE ARE SOME THINGS. Those are most of the things.
rock and roll don't give her nothing but bad dreams.
Remember how fandom invented an archive where you can download fic as .mobi files and how in 2007 we all suffered a collective Pete Wentz related head injury and oh my god you guys there is so much bandom fic on my Kindle right now I can't even.
I was going to say that I'm getting into bed to watch The Closer and be ashamed to know myself, but fuck that, in the last month I've been credentialed to shoot FOB and the National, and I didn't get into a Twitter fight with all the haters who picked on my FOB photos on the srs bsns music blog I shoot for, and I'm fucking awesome, so I'm going to get into bed and read Patrick Stump/Bob Bryar fic like it's 2008 until I pass out.
Fall Out Boy pictures are here, the National photos are only in one place and if you want to see them, you can message me because I still keep a tiny distance between LJ and my real life. (Plus I adore my editor and co-writers but they don't need to know about the time I wrote Pete Wentz dub con fic, okay? Okay.)
In September I'm gonna go to Chicago to shoot Riot Fest which means I get to see and photography FOB twice this year, and I can't even over that, either. I would say how is this my life but this is my life because I worked really fucking hard to make it my life, and I am proud of it. It's 2013, I'm 33 years old, and I can tell you that I sincerely like myself just how I am for the first time basically ever.
So kisses to all of you, and sweet dreams.
PS if you feel like it you can like my FB photo page here and get photo updates on the reasonably regular. If you feel like it, nbd.
So it's 2007 all over again except that it's really 2013 and I had photo credentials for last night's Fall Out Boy show in DC and so yeah, this happened.
-- I am going to read Pete Wentz's novel for you, bandom. I will report reports as I have them.
-- I need to replace my 5-year-old Mac Book. I actually replaced it last year with an iMac, far better with its lovely large screen for editing photos, but I need something more reliable to travel with when I'm on a photo job, or, well, just traveling and shooting at all, like last week when I was on vacation at the beach and the left side of my laptop's touch pad stopped working. Right now I am leaning towards an iPad, because it's cheaper and smaller than any of the current Apple laptops, but the fact of the matter is, I have a Kindle to read ebooks on, and a smart phone I love for the internet surfing, so I'm hesitating on pulling the trigger on buying ANYTHING, really.
What I want to know, people who use both iPads and Mac computers is, if I edit photos on an iPad (I am not asking about the capabilities of that, I have done that research, I know there are adapters for my SD cards, etc) -- will my edits etc autosync to my iMac photo library? I use ratings to manage which photos are best, which get posted, and notes about what gets sent to clients, etc. I really basically just want a device that will sync any photos I edit away from my desktop to my desktop when I get home, without fuss or muss, and an iPad seems best for that.
So: advice? I can always hold off on the purchase a few months and save up for a laptop if that's a better idea.
In other news, my bracket is busted, and I am longing to run off to Southeast Asia after reading too many travel books.
Fall Out Boy made a new record, just when I'd basically given up hope of ever having the chance to shoot them from a photo pit.
It was kind of a shock to the system this week, as I'm pretty sure it was for everybody except Pete Wentz, who is laughing all the way to the bank and the #2 spot on iTunes. I'd been planning my summer -- Black Keys in Atlanta in May, maybe the Shaky Knees Festival the same weekend, Black Keys again in Raleigh in July, they were about the height of my plans on the pyramid of bands I'm important enough to get review tickets to -- and Fall Out Boy was nowhere on my radar, and now BOOM. Fall Out Boy. A show in May, in DC. The Charlotte show sold out in approximately 67 seconds, most of the tickets appear to be on StubHub for $100+, and I'm spoiled and I hadn't missed the drama of buying bandom tickets to highly coveted shows one single bit. The venue also seems unrepentant about the scalping, which irritates me immensely.
Look, I know I'm spoiled. I like emailing publicists and getting what I want. It's 25% of the perks of being a concert photographer, the free music. The other 75% is getting to do what I love. (In case you were wondering, you don't just wake up and get press passes. I have been told no more in my professional life than in my dating life the last five years, and I got dumped by the same guy three times in 2011. I AM JUST SAYING, HARD WORK SUCKS. Also, so does that ex.)
Fall Out Boy is still the band that made me want to work as hard as I have the last four years, though, so thanks, Pete Wentz, you asshole. And thanks for getting back together so I can shoot y'all for real; you're not out of my press pass range, Peter.
I will probably talk a lot about Pete Wentz and Patrick on Twitter, if you want to follow me. I don't do auto-follows blah blah blah because my Twitter is public; if you want to read what I say, it's right there, go for it. I talk a lot about what I'm eating, what I'm listening to, what I'm reading, and baseball. I keep my follow list pretty close to photo pro stuff -- bands, labels, photo blogs, music blogs -- and that's simply because I can only consume so much information before I explode. Doesn't mean I don't love you. I probably totally do love you. I love everybody, especially you! (I listened to a lot of Lyle Lovett yesterday.)
This is the local record I'm totally stoked about right now. Crazy good. Ryan is a genius. I'm gonna go eat wings and go to his release show now. It costs $5. That is $81 less than I paid for FOB tickets yesterday.
I’ve been making what I call a Christmas mix — that is, not holiday songs but a mix made at the holidays — since 1997; first they were tapes, then for a few years cds, and finally, in the digital age, the last seven years have been downloadable zip files, and this year is no exception. These are songs — frequently but not necessarily released in 2012 — that meant something to me this year, for various reasons, and they are for you. Consider it a list of my favorite songs of this year, if that helps. The whole shebang is available as a zip file [here] (135MB, .zip).
Happy holidays, happy 2012, happy these are great songs — whatever floats your boat. This is from me to you. 2012 was a bad year with great moments, and here's hoping that 2013 is better.
If you creep about lurking and you only comment on one post all year, this would be a good one. I’m just sayin’. ♥
LINK SHOULD BE GOOD NOW, FYI.
"Why" - Josh Ritter: why spend your only life waiting / to do what you know you can do?
"I Want My Seven Years Back" - Chelsea Crowell: you can retell your same old story / and maybe some new girl won't think it's lame
"I Don't Mind" - Defeater:i will beg and steal and borrow / to keep you safe your whole life
"Nothing's Gonna Change The Way You Feel About Me Now" - Justin Townes Earle:i know it's wrong but i've got to admit / i said some things that i shouldn't have said
"If I Needed You" (Townes Van Zandt) - Mumford & Sons:if i needed you would you come to me / would you come to me, for to ease my pain?
"Giving Up Redheads" - Leland Sundries: well that girl didn't even catch my eye, boys, until she dyed her hair
"Flowers In Your Hair" - The Lumineers: it takes a man to live / it takes a woman to make him compromise
"Pick Me Up" - Air Traffic Controller:have a seat, grab a drink / try not to give a fuck what anybody thinks
"Working Titles" - Damien Jurado: you wrote about me on every new record / i'll show up in the title of your song / i only hope that somebody requests it
"That Old Black Hole" - Dr. Dog: i was not prepared to lose it all the moment that i found it
"King of the World" - First Aid Kit: well i'm nobody's baby / i'm everybody's girl / i'm the queen of nothing / i'm the king of the world
"Smothered In Hugs" (Guided By Voices) - Cuff The Duke: i'm gonna leave with you / you can teach me all you know
"The Happy Song" - Alex Chilton: sing us a happy little song and we can do the rest
"Cinder Blocks" - Onward, Soldiers: where have you been / come back to Carolina
"Nice Things" - The Menzingers: are you happy, are you sane, are you rich, are you thin?
"Nothing Is Anything (Without You)" - Wintersleep: if it was easier to leave it alone / why did you come here?
"Never Have To Fall In Love Again" - Eleni Mandell:but if you have to gamble on a better life than ramble / and i’ll start by falling out of love with you.
"Isn't This World Enough??" - Admiral Fallow: from your first exhale to your very last breath / isn't this world enough?
"Still Not Home" - Tift Merritt: i try so hard, but i'm still not home
"Someone You Used To Know" - Wylie Hunter & the Cazadores: you can say that's the voice of someone you used to know
It has been an amazing few days, and I'll write it all up once I get home and sleep for a week. Today we shoot at 7th Street Entry and then I head for the airport; I don't want to go home, but I guess I have to.
The Twin Cities have been working on me; I have been deeply smitten with everything about both St Paul and Minneapolis. I keep reminding myself, though, about that thing that I hear people call ~~~~WINTER~~~~ and how much I hate it, so sorry, kids, a move back to Mpls is probably not in my future. But more visits, if plane tickets come down, are definitely in my future.
So, yes: thank you to everyone who donated to my drive for this; you are all awesome, and I hope you have gotten my email about your mix CD, and if you haven't, please let me know. Thank you to the rest of you for just being awesome, though if you'd still like to kick in, my initial post is still available in my journal. You'll even get a belated mix!
Y'all: thank you. I met my donation goals, and surpassed them, and I will be spending three days in August in Minneapolis, hanging out with Grant Hart and a film crew.
Thank you all so much for your donations, and your words of support, and being awesome. You are awesome.
I don't have the words to say thank you bigger, but it means the world to me.
(Also: Gaslight Anthem was amazing on Thursday, and photos are here. You can follow my August trip on Twitter, @brandnewkindof. It is really, really hot in the NC.)
in my heart: amazed
in my head: 'Breaking Bad' And A Little Sad -- NPR -- NPR: Pop Culture Happy Hour Podcast
cataloguing: personal:photos
Last winter I had the fantastic opportunity to get to know, and become friends with, filmmaker Gorman Bechard, when I organized a screening of his documentary about The Replacements, Color Me Obsessed, in Chapel Hill. We just screened his concert documentary about the Archers of Loaf, What Did You Expect?, at the Cradle over this past weekend. He's currently working on his third music doc, a film about the life, times, and music of Grant Hart, called Every Everything, and the crew going to be in Minneapolis for 10 days in August, filming the initial footage.
Gorman has invited me to come out and shoot both stills and video while he and his crew are working, and I would desperately love to do that, but here's the rub: I don't have the money to afford the travel costs. Between incorporation costs and my terrible car problems this spring, I'm just flat broke. I don't have the cash or the credit to front these costs.
So what I'm about to ask you guys -- I'm going to ask you if you can do it for me. Everyone who reads my LJ has supported me relentlessly while I've pursued the pipedream of becoming a full time rock photographer, and I'm asking you to do it one more time (or continue, if you'd like, but also feel free to wash your hands of me after this. <grin>). There's a donate button below. I need about $600 to afford a flight and transportation in the Cities for four days of shooting, and if you have five bucks that you can spare, and you think I'm worth it, please please please hit the donate button. If I manage to surpass that $600, any money above that amount will go straight back into my photo business, for business costs, for gear, for other travel -- with gratitude.
You guys have supported me as photography took me away from writing, from fandom, and into strange new places -- LJ is one of my oldest online communities, and I can't tell you guys how much I appreciate you.
If you've ever loved a photo I took, discovered a new band because of something I wrote, watched the College World Series with new eyes, and you've wondered how you could give me something: this is how.
Owing to the fact that I'm this broke, I can't offer fabulous individual rewards for helping me out, but I can offer you a handwritten thank you note after I get back from Minneapolis, on a postcard printed with one of my shots from the trip, and a special music mix only available to donors. One day, that postcard might be a collectible! The music mix will just rock.
Thanks. Y'all mean the world to me. (And if you think this is worthwhile, please don't hesitate to share this post on your social media network of choice; that would mean a hell of a lot to me, too.)
in my head: Episode 69: Meatballs -- Matthew Amster-Burton and Molly Wizenberg -- Spilled Milk
Tomorrow I will pay my beloved, trusted mechanics $1200 to have replaced my radiator and my water pump. Azula the Little Red Toyota Of Doom is a 2009 Corolla. Last summer she had her entire power train replaced. The hits just keep on coming.
My guys assure me that a) this hasn't been going on for more than two days and b) unless I was in the habit of looking under my car for leaks daily, I couldn't have caught it sooner. I'm lucky I caught it when I did. (The water pump is fried, leaking copiously, and thus radiator damage.)
But this fucking sucks, guys. For once, thanks to jarrow's budget spreadsheet, I can afford it -- barely. I have to wipe my savings to do it, but I can do it. That doesn't change the fact that it sucks absolute sweaty balls, this wasn't how I wanted a five day weekend, especially now one where I can't afford to go out of town like we'd planned. I can't even fucking afford to go to Greensboro for the ACC baseball tournament championship game.
If you could give me some bucking up, or some love, or some flat out telling me I'm wonderful, I could use it. I am just so fucking tired of working so hard and getting punched down every time I make forward progress.
Sigh.
in my heart: frustrated
in my head: IOT: Marco Polo 24 May 12 -- BBC Radio 4 -- In Our Time With Melvyn Bragg
Hey, internets, remember how bad I am with money? Like, occasionally lose hundreds of dollars because I forgot I paid a bill bad? Like, never manage to save anything because I'm never prepared for unexpected expenses bad? Like, perpetually maxed out credit cards bad?
I am still bad with money, internets. I am still really bad with money, but I am getting better, and that in and of itself is a miracle.
I am still, almost, living paycheck to paycheck, it's true. But I've been using the spreadsheet since February, and this month I got whacked with my annual car tax bill, an event that is usually cause for great angst and rending of clothing and, generally, paying really late because it takes me forever to scrape up the money.
Sure, paying my car tax bill on time is going to crunch me a little financially over the next two weeks. But for the first time in my life, a one-time bill of several hundred dollars (GDI, AZULA, DEPRECIATE FASTER, YOU BITCH; the state of North Carolina only charged me 60 bucks a year for Patrick's raggedy ass!) isn't going to wipe me out. Because thanks to J, I was prepared for it. I knew it was coming. I knew I had to account for it. And I did, and now I can pay it on time. Early, even.
My savings account is actually gaining money. Not lots of money, but some money. My credit cards are creeping down. (I mean, really, creeping. Barely moving at all. But moving. A little.) I paid off my undergrad loan in March. It's gone. The State of Minnesota sent me four official letters telling me so.
J's spreadsheet is horrifying at first, if you are bad with money, because it puts all your bad habits right there in black and white and little colored boxes. But for me, it has been worth it, and it will be worth the eventually $$ I send him for it -- in a month where my car tax isn't due, because I'm still not that good with money -- it will be worth it ten times over.
I want to buy a house, see. And you have to have money to do that. You have to be vaguely decent with money. So that's what I'm trying to do.
THIS SPREADSHEET IS MAGIC. I cannot recommend it to everyone, obviously, because it might not be your thing. But, oh, it has so been my thing. It is changing my life. And that is incredible.
in my heart: successful
in my head: Ep. 819: As Expected -- Score Media -- The Basketball Jones (Audio)
I need to pick ONE PHOTO for a festival portfolio. traveller helped me narrow it to these three from the Chili Peppers show a few weeks ago. Vote for your favorite and/or the best!
Hey, so, you know, at the beginning of April I shot the Red Hot Chili Peppers from the photo pit at the RBC Center in Raleigh. The entire evening, save the 15 minutes of shooting, was basically a long mantra of don't puke don't freak out don't be intimidated by the other photographers, but it turns out that after four years of this, even when faced with Flea sweating on you, my body and my brain can autopilot through a shoot. I killed it, too, some of the best shots of my life. I didn't puke on Anthony Kiedis' shoes.
I did, however, walk out of the arena after our allotted three songs and boot in the parking lot. I am, if nothing else, classy. (That set is here, btw.)
the Alpha Site is throwing a Superhero Movie Extravaganza tomorrow, all five Marvel movies in order of release -- yes, even The Hulk, which shep. and I both love -- so when I got home today, I spent a couple of hours cleaning and cooking and cleaning some more. Then I edited my photos from last night's Lumineers show (fucking amazing), answered and sent some emails I'd been procrastinating on, and then I put a frozen pizza in the oven, made myself a drink, and sat down at my desk, where I promptly realized: this may quite literally be the first weekend night I have had entirely off from anything since … October? Last July?
A really fucking long time, is the answer.
And you know what my first thought upon realizing this was? It wasn't, oh, good, I can sleep. It was well, there's that show at the 506 I could probably make, or I could drive over to Broad Street to see Jay and Deep Chatham, or I think the Cave had a decent bill …
Which is why I've been absent: my photography has turned, finally, into a full-time job, after years of ass-busting, doubting myself, and sleep deprivation, and on top of my day job, I just don't have time to say more than I need to. I read every day, and I try to comment, but mostly it's work nap ride the exercise bike eat dinner shoot edit take care of the boring business shit of photography fall back into bed lather rinse repeat. I could stand to sleep more. But I'm happy, and that's more important.
My favorite albums so far this year are, in no particular order, Micah Schnabel's I'm Dead, Serious; Damien Jurado's Maraqopa; the Lumineers' self-titled; Justin Townes Earle's Nothing's Gonna Change The Way You Feel About Me Now.
The other day I was emailing with Bill Beckett's publicist about something entirely unrelated to him, though it had originally been about him, and she asked if I wanted to interview him when he is in Chapel Hill in a few weeks. I politely declined, because if you tell a publicist "No, thank you, I laughed until I peed myself a little at that, so probably it's a bad idea", it wins you zero points. The phrase "I was emailing with Bill Beckett's publicist" no longer phases me at all. My life is so weird it's normal.
I got a new tattoo, my birthday gift to myself: a Nikon F2.
As always, Twitter is the best place to keep up with what I'm listening to, things that places smell like, and Evan Longoria's mullet reports: @brandnewkindof.
I thought of plenty of things I could do with my evening. I decided to stay home and re-read Christopher Moore novels. I've earned a night off.
Hello there. :))
in my heart: content
in my head: Pop Culture Happy Hour: 'Veep' Talk And Spoilery 'Cabin In The Woods' Chatter -- NPR -- NPR: Culturetopia Podcast
cataloguing: life or something like it
christmas mix 2011: something as simple as rock and roll
(I'm a couple days late posting this year; mea culpa! Download! Merry merry!)
I've been making what I call a Christmas mix -- that is, not holiday songs but a mix made at the holidays -- since 1997; first they were tapes, then for a few years cds, and finally, in the digital age, the last six years have been downloadable zip files, and this year is no exception. These are songs -- frequently but not necessarily released in 2011 -- that meant something to me this year, for various reasons, and they are for you. Consider it a list of my favorite songs of this year, if that helps. The whole shebang is available as a zip file [here] (110MB, .zip).
Happy holidays, happy 2011, happy these are great songs -- whatever floats your boat. This is from me to you. 2011 could have been a hell of a lot worse.
If you creep about lurking and you only comment on one post all year, this would be a good one. I'm just sayin'. ♥
Frank Turner -- "I Still Believe": now who'd have thought that after all/something as simple as rock and roll would save us all
The Horrible Crowes -- "Go Tell Everybody": and i just fell to pieces on the night that you said you were leaving/you can't come back to the heart that you left
Kasey Chambers -- "Guilty": i'm guilty of all these things
Jesse Malin -- "You Can Make Them Like You": there's always other boys/and you can make them like you
The Booze -- "Hit Me Where It Hurts": honey, just kick me where it hurts (it's gonna be alright)
The Hold Steady -- "Cheyenne Sunrise": and we're all living for that one sweet fleeting feeling
Dave Hause -- "Time Will Tell": you say there's not a god god damn it i could a little faith to keep from crawling right out of my skin
Slingshot Cash -- "We've Come Undone": but i'm bound by what i found on new year's day
Kate Bush -- "This Woman's Work": i know you have a lot of strength left
Ha Ha Tonka -- "No Great Harm": carried my own weight just as long as i could/but it never did me any good
The Old Ceremony -- "Day That I Was Born": you know the poetry/i just know the poem/you woke up next to me the day that i was born
Release the Sunbird -- "Best Thing For Me": i may make myself promises that i will never keep/but you're always the best thing for me
The Decemberists -- "All Arise!": baby wants a new spin/baby wants a broken heart
Mason Jennings -- "Bitter Heart": our world is filled with only what we see
Blitzen Trapper -- "Love The Way You Walk Away": for the things that i never really said to make you stay/'cause i love the way you walk away
R.E.M. -- "Oh My Heart": it's sad and it's sweet and it's true/how it doesn't look bitter on you
Scythian -- "Dance All Night": dance with me by the firelight/we don't got long but we got all night
1. You guys, I feel like December should be all wrapping up the year, but instead for me, this year, it's all about barreling through prep for 2012 and my photography. I want to shoot a festival in Spain, so I have to get my shit in order to renew my passport in January. I'm applying for one of the volunteer photographer positions at New Orleans Jazz Fest, so I finished that application yesterday. I have a show on January 1 and a promo shoot booked for the first week of January. Hell, my calendar is starting to fill up with concerts into February. I keep expecting things to calm down, but I guess life never does, huh?
1a. Someone come over and fill out this passport application for me.
2. Here are some things I've shot lately that you might like to look at:
Full backstage access to a CD release show at the Cradle for a beloved local band. Doing this again for another band's Christmas show next Friday, also cannot wait.
3. I switched from Delicious to Pinboard in the last few weeks; I'm brandnewkindof over there if you want to follow me. Mostly it's recipes and DIY/crafty shit; my photo and music links tend to go to Twitter. Twitter is also where I spend a lot of time talking about weird covers I need people to make me; recently, a female-fronted cowpunk cover of "I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You" and an electro-dance-pop cover of "Maggie's Farm".
4. I have become obsessed with vintage clothing and housewares, as sundancekid will attest to. (I owe you an email!) I remain obsessed with the Band, the Rolling Stones, ladies taking rock photographs, Zach Condon, bokeh, photos of people's feet, Bloodshot Records, and whiskey.
4a. Speaking of whiskey, I quit drinking beer and cut my soda way back and started watching what I was eating and actually exercising at the end of September, and you know what? That shit about eating less and better and exercising more fucking works. I've lost 13 pounds since then. Mostly the first five were beer weight.
4b. And speaking of Bloodshot Records, y'all know how much I love them -- and this fall, I've gotten a chance to work with their publicity team repeatedly, shooting their artists and writing about their music in a capacity beyond just "fan". As a professional. That has been one of the biggest, most proud things I've done this year. I also learned how to (mostly) stop being afraid of asking for things I want, which was big. And who has the most awesome (anyone working with Girlie Action, Maggie at Good Cop, everyone at Yep Roc and Bloodshot) and the rudest publicists (spoiler alert: the artist whose publicist replied to my press pass query with "No." and nothing else).
4c. Next year's working-with-my-idols goal: Continuum Records, who puts out the amazing 33 1/3 series. My parents sent me a check for Christmas, so I bought a new iPod and then a million used books about music, including half a dozen 33 1/3 books. So excited. (I had Music from Big Pink already, I bought: Exile on Main Street, Highway 61 Revisited, Pink Moon, Horses and Radio City.)
5. Our cats are still assholes.
6. In October I read all of the Nora-Roberts-as-JD-Robb Eve Dallas mysteries. All of them. It was awesome. My brain just took the month off.
7. This is why I don't post more. I start posts and then they sit for two weeks -- this one has sat for only two days! -- and then it's like, well, why bother?
8. It is cold here. Cold for North Carolina. Cold for ME.
in my head: Ep. 203: Bone Manor with Maria Thayer -- The Sound of Young America -- Jordan, Jesse GO!
cataloguing: numbered and lettered lists
I've been banging my head against this creative wall for ... weeks now, since the Cowboy and I split, really, because he was my best collaborator and ideas-bouncer-off-of, where I wasn't getting really what I wanted from my work (networking-wise; I've been really really chuffed on my shooting lately) and I didn't know what to do about it. Didn't know if I should work harder, or smarter, or just sit back and let it go and hope that something happened.
I had this moment yesterday, sitting in a packed bar on Franklin Street eating potato chips and re-reading Natalie Goldberg's Long Quiet Highway for the millionth time, spurred by a conversation the night before, that I just needed to let all that head-banging go. That I could control the personal situations making me uncomfortable and upset; that with my work, I needed to just keep doing what I was doing, even when it was weird or out of the norm or strangers thought it was a bad idea. If I let it go, if I followed my heart, the stuff I wanted would eventually follow.
And then I went and had my hair dyed pink again, and ate calzones with shep., and went to bed early because I was exhausted.
And I got up this morning, and flipped through my greader, and in the mess of wanky in-fighting and advertisements for guitarists for Christian rock bands that is community/musicians on the Raleigh Craigslist, there were two people looking for photographers. It was 7am. No one else had seen those ads. I shot them both emails; I got emails back within the hour.
I let it all go, and it came back to me. My chest feels lighter for the first time in weeks.
I have spent almost four years building a photo business, starting with the SLR that algernon_mouse gave me in early 2008. I have busted my ass, repeatedly, in ways that only a handful of you have seen. I have not slept, I have done things that scared me, I have had my heart broken a couple of times in a couple of ways.
But I have worked hard, and I have been lucky, and I have been persistent and charming and very good at what I do. And when I threw up my hands and decided that I was going to just trust my work, stuff happened.
Which is the whole tenet behind Natalie Goldberg's writing books, to begin with. Trust the writing, at its core, and it will take you where you need to go. Trust my camera, and it will take me amazing places.
I am drinking coffee and watching GameDay and later today I'm going to interview Frontier Ruckus and then see them play an amazing set. It is sunny and cool. My heart is light, and happy, and I want to share it. Can I lighten the world for anyone else?
in my heart: peaceful
in my head: For Pluto -- Adam WarRock -- TrackLog
cataloguing: personal:photos
Hello, LiveJournal. I had today off, and I am grateful for that. I am not grateful to Columbus, just that I didn't have to go to work today. Tasks today alternately involved photo business work and cleaning the house in preparation for lovely nerdcore hiphop artist houseguests. Personally, I have had some bumps in the last six weeks (some big ones, some really devastating ones) but I am trying to stay buried in work and I'm mostly pretty happy.
Here is photo business stuff that I want your opinions on, if that is okay with you!
I am trying to work up a couple of pitches for bands, and I am just stymied creatively. What do you do to jump start your creativity?
I have a couple of basic research jobs -- looking for images, mostly -- that I don't have the time or the focus to do. Anybody interested in taking them on? I couldn't pay much, but I could probably swing $20 for one or $35 for both; I can PayPal it to you when the job's done. Email me with Photo Research as the subject at minervacat AT gmail if you're interested. ETA: Thanks, y'all! Got a couple responses and will work through them; feel free to email me if you're still interested, but I should be okay.
Those of you who are creative pros or semi-pros who have a non-creative day job, how do you balance your creative work with your day job? My photo work is taking up more and more time, which is great, but there are only so many hours in the day and only so much time I can sneak at work-work for handling photo business.
Does anyone in the Triangle area have a claw foot bathtub I can borrow for two hours on a weekend afternoon for a photo shoot? Non-destructive, I just want to fill it with a musician and popcorn. Time negotiable based on your schedule; I can pay in gratitude and beer, or food items if you don't drink beer.
I totally thought I had more things to say, but I guess not! What's up with you guys? What amazing things are you making these days?
in my heart: restless
in my head: For A Little While -- Langhorne Slim -- Be Set Free
cataloguing: personal:photos
I had a really bad week, so I dyed my hair pink. Well. My stylist dyed my hair pink. Whatever.
AND, and only janet_carter will understand this, but this morning Brian Fallon delivered a leak of his new side project to my doorstep, and IT'S ABOUT FUCKING TIME YOU GOT YOUR DELIVERY ACT TOGETHER, FALLON, NOW WHERE'S MY COFFEE AND MY DONUTS.
Life can't be terrible, guys, even if I'm sad. I'm interviewing the Meat Puppets in a few weeks. I just scored a shoot with the Head & the Heart. Hopscotch Music Festival is next week! AND I HAVE PINK HAIR. NOTHING CAN BE SAD WHEN YOU HAVE PINK HAIR.
So back in mid-May, when the Cowboy and I were broken up for the first time1, I suffered what can only be considered a greivous head injury and decided to get rid of, like, most of my shit. I started with epic amounts of old photos -- I saved the ones I wanted to, and had some scanned! Don't worry! -- and have moved on to purging books and clothing as though I was preparing to live out of my car for a year.
(Right now, there are five boxes of books to give away on my bedroom floor. I boxed them up at 7:30 AM on a Sunday, because I am insane.)
Then I started reading personal design blogs, and basically I have lost my mind. I want to be AB Chao, y'all, so so so badly. Her gorgeously designed house! Her adorable clothes! Living in Louisiana! Her personal style is not my personal style, but I love the way she goes about her life. So: design blogs to start, and then when I epically purged my closet of everything that didn't fit or that I hated yesterday morning, I looked at what was left and realized that, totally by accident of purchasing items from the sale racks at Belk and TJ Maxx and Ross Dress For Less, I have, at 31, actually developed a personal style.
Then I spent two hours getting rid of more books, dusting, arranging my jewelry in a pretty fashion now that I had space on top of a half bookcase, and looking at the J. Crew sales listings, because I am a crazy person.
(Really, what happened was this: I went back on meds and into therapy for my anxiety in January, and having the meds relieve the literally 24/7 crushing panic attacks I was having has led to my brain being in overdrive; except it's not in overdrive, it's just that I am no longer so anxious that I can't think. I can hear my own thoughts again! That's pretty big.)
Wait, where was I going with this? OH RIGHT: honestly, I started reading design blogs for inspiration in styling band photoshoots, but then it turns out that I probably would be happier with a clean and well-pulled together house/bedroom/what have you. So now I have to figure out what I want to do with what I have -- because I am always broke, and also I'm saving my money to go on a ridiculous clothing spree at Crabtree Valley next weekend when the NC has tax-free weekend -- and also, the most important question, what sort of design concept goes with an inflatable dinosaur?
Because the dinosaur and I have been together even longer than the iCat and I have, you guys, and I can't really give him up.
So this is a call for you guys: show me pictures of your pretty things! Recommend design blogs! Talk to me about your personal style! Because basically all I've been doing since May is reading books about badass ladies in rock and roll (also trashy books about werewolves), taking photos, hanging out with shep. and the Cowboy, watching baseball, and suffering from terrible, terrible head trauma involving an obsession with home and personal design. So I could really use some people to talk about that last one with. I'll even share my plans to make a lamp out of a big glass jar and buttons, and how I'm going to spraypaint my ugly IKEA dresser into looking like a Mies van der Rohe painting!
And if somebody wanted to buy me these, in exactly that color pack, I WOULD NOT SAY NO. I WOULD EVEN SAY THANK YOU IMMENSELY.
P.S. My favorite photos from this year are here, and also, this is the Cowboy. I love his dumb face.
P.P.S. I am going to finally start cross-posting from DW to LJ, so if you're not following me over there and you prefer to be, go for it.
P.P.P.S. I am going to clean my desk now.
1: the Cowboy and I have broken up twice -- three times if you count the time I accidentally broke up with him while we were having a fight, but we got back together four minutes later when he realized I meant "I cannot cope with you doing this particular thing SO STOP IT" and not "I cannot cope with dating you at all" -- in the seven months we've been dating, because we are both super high-strung people who are hyper sensitive and have trust issues. But we keep getting back together because ultimately, we're very good for each other and we like each other loads and also we're mutually in love with each other's dumb asses.
Livejournal! I am not dead. I am currently so exhausted I want to die, but I am not dead! I just kind of ... acquired a life, I guess? Started doing ill-advised things like going to five shows in the same week? I don't know.
What I have been doing:
-- Taking photos. You can see how busy my year has been, a lot of it contract work for pub companies and a music blog I started working with, here. Or here, which features one bathroom self-portrait for every show I've been to. Which is, as of right now, 61. Uh. My goal of 100 shows this year is going to be blown right past, I suspect.
Slightly less overwhelming is here, my personal favorites set for 2011.
-- Watching baseball. The UNC baseball team has had a quietly, surprisingly excellent year, and while they are no rivals for the 2007 or 2008 or 2009 teams in my affections, they are a good deal of fun. They scored a totally random national seed in the NCAA tournament and will hopefully make a serious run at getting back to Omaha this year.
-- Dating. Met a dude New Year's Day, got serious, broke up, starting over with him, slowly. Dating takes up a lot of time, you guys.
-- Watching Doctor Who and Game of Thrones. I gave up on How I Met Your Mother and Bones when I started dating the Cowboy in January, because I had no time all of a sudden and also I really wasn't enjoying either season, frankly, but Who and Game of Thrones are really doing it for me lately. I love everyone on Who, but especially Rory, and Game of Thrones is so fucking gorgeous and fucked up, so I'm loving that, too. The violence makes me cringe -- less spurting, please, HBO -- but I'm digging it.
The Cowboy and I are watching The Wire, too. It's awesome, as everyone told me it was. I'm just slow.
-- I am home today and thus able to post because my car died on I-40 last night. Only upside: I have the savings to fix it, it died in a completely convenient non-dangerous spot on the highway, and I have the vacation time to take today off unexpectedly. I am listening to podcasts and reading YA novels while I wait for the mechanic to call me back and tell me what's wrong (the mechanic and my father both THINK it's the alternator, but neither was positive).
-- My Flickr PRO account is about to expire and I have no money to renew it because see also DEAD FUCKING CAR GODDAMNIT LIFE.
-- I also have no money to buy art on Etsy like I want to but that's less of a pressing professional problem. Fuuuuck being broke. And also living somewhere that I love but where I have to own a car.
-- I made a really good pot of coffee this morning.
-- So far my five favorite albums of 2011 are: Ha Ha Tonka -- Death of a Decade; the Booze -- At Maximum Volume; Dave Hause -- Resolutions; the Smith Westerns -- Dye It Blonde; the Low Anthem -- Smart Flesh.
-- I am going to have a caprese salad today for lunch.
-- I am on Twitter as brandnewkindof. I mostly twitter about stupid baseball player hair, beer, music and photography. I don't autofollow back -- I use it professionally, to follow people I know IRL, and to get college baseball info -- but if you feel like following me for short album reviews and griping about mullets and opening bands, go for it. If I don't follow you back, I promise it's not personal.
-- That's all I've got! Need more coffee.
-- How are you guys? What are your favorite albums of 2011? What's taking up your time this year? I miss you. I keep trying to post and then just ... not. But I will do better.
1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before? Saw the motherfucking Avett Brothers in a tiny club. Shot at Koka Booth on a photo pass. Watched TJ Yates win a bowl game, what is this madness. I went to an NHL game for the first time in ten years, I mean, not ever, but that's a long time!
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Sure? I resolved to be happy, and mostly I was.
This year I'm resolving to be kind, and be awesome.
(Cross-posted, sorry if you've already seen it, etc etc etc. ♥)
I've been making what I call a Christmas mix -- that is, not holiday songs but a mix made at the holidays -- since 1997; first they were tapes, then for a few years cds, and finally, in the digital age, the last five years have been downloadable zip files, and this year is no exception. These are songs -- frequently but not necessarily released in 2010 -- that meant something to me this year, for various reasons, and they are for you. The whole shebang is available as a zip file [here] (110MB, .zip).
Happy holidays, happy 2010, happy music sharing -- whatever floats your boat. This is from me to you. 2010 ended up being not half bad.
[the Drive-By Truckers -- "(It's Gonna Be) I Told You So"] now one day it's gonna be "i told you so"/i'm all full up from the shit i was fed
[the Gaslight Anthem -- "The Diamond Street Church Choir"] and who who who does it better than we do
[Two Cow Garage -- "My Great Gatsby"] this is not an alibi, baby, this is who i am
[Tim Barry -- "Thing of the Past"] i've been lit up before and i've bounced right back/made mistakes and i've learned to laugh/tonight i'm getting drunk and simply living
[Frank Turner -- "Photosynthesis"] i won't sit down, i won't shut up/most of all, yeah, i won't grow up
[Glossary -- "No Guarantee"] i laughed and said "i won’t stop now but there's no guarantee."
[Frightened Rabbit -- "Living In Colour"] i, i am weathered by the winter of mixed drinks
[Superchunk -- "Learned To Surf"] i can't hold my breath anymore/i stopped swimming and learned to surf
[Eels -- "Hey Man (Now You're Really Living)"] do you know what it's like to care too much/'bout someone that you're never going to get to touch?
[Dr. Dog -- "Later"] but i can't sit around and wait/can't sit around and wait for you
[The National -- "Bloodbuzz Ohio"] i never thought about home when i thought about love
[Ha Ha Tonka -- "Close Every Valve To Your Bleeding Heart"] thick skinned, hard headed/you're better off closing every valve to your bleeding heart
[Bright Eyes -- "Southern State"] so now you are giving advice as if you had the right to use a word like love
[Ryan Bingham -- "The Weary Kind"] pick up your crazy heart and give it one more try
[The Old Ceremony -- "Wither On The Vine"] and i don't want to wither on the vine
[Vic Chestnutt -- "Flirted With You All My Life"] but i found out with time that/really, i was not ready
[Good Old War -- "That's Some Dream"] i know everyone would want me to say/that i'm not afraid to be alone/i'm gonna live, i'm alright/i'm gonna die, it's alright, i'm okay
[Josh Ritter -- "Lantern"] if there's a book of jubilations/we'll have to write it for ourselves
I am really bad at posting these days, but as always: if you download this, this is always a good place to say hi, even if it's the only time you do all year.
LiveJournal, I know I don't talk to you enough these days. I'm sorry! I'm just really busy. Running around after bands, mostly, but then also sleeping in huge chunks when the huge amounts of time spent running around after bands are finished. I will update you more often. Or at least I'll think about it.
I'm working on an interview project, finalizing a series of generic questions that will then be furthered tailored to each interviewee, and I could use some help brainstorming things I'd like to ask these people. So first; If you could ask any musician any question about baseball, what would it be? (I realized that my niche market is the intersection of music and baseball, and I'm trying to capitalize on that.) And second: musicians or music bloggers who are also vocal baseball fans. I have a pretty nice start to a list, but I could use more, if you can think of any. Yes, Craig Finn is on my list. Yes, if I land an interview with Craig Finn, I will fall over briefly before regaining my composure.
Got a great question? Got a great musician suggestion? Leave 'em in the comments. I'll give you credit if it comes to fruition, this project. (Especially good if you have contact info. Like, if you have Brian Fallon's email address, leave it here, please.)
The last time I asked you guys for recommendations of books about music/music history, you were awesome. Time to play that game again! Books about music (specific bands, memoirs, whatever) or music history (genres, scenes, etc) that you'd recommend.
Recently and not so recently I have read and loved: Our Band Could Be Your Life; Please Kill Me (well, I'm still in the middle of that; I carry it in my camera bag for solo shows); Love Is A Mix Tape; Dixie Lullaby; Across The Great Divide: the Band and America; Just Kids; Miss O'Dell: My Life With The Beatles etc; Positively 4th Street. Girls Like Us is on my to-read list.
I'm not really picky about subject material as long as the writing's good, though I'm also not really interested in anything re: metal. ALRIGHT GO.
I will trade you those recommendations for this list of the 10 Best Music Documentaries of the past decade. :D? :D?
I think that the Truckers' two-night stand at the Lincoln still tops my list of shows for the year, but the Two Cow Garage show at Kings three Sundays ago was also phenomenal, for me at least, and this is one of my favorite photos I've taken this year. The National at Memorial Auditorium a few weeks ago is also handily in the top five. Probably my top five shows of the year are as follows: Truckers' two-night stand at the Lincoln, 02/2010; Brian Fallon & Dave Hause at the Black Cat, 01/2010; the National at Memorial, 10/2010; Superchunk at the Cradle, 05/2010; Two Cow at Kings, 10/2010. Ha Ha Tonka this past Tuesday would come in at 6.
But ask me again next week, it might change.
I am also working on my year end top 25 albums list. It is harder than I expected it to be; the top ten was pretty easy, both objectively and subjectively, but after that, it gets murky. I shall have a lot of re-listening to do in the next two months. Nobody else release anything good, I can't cope.
But also: hey, what's YOUR favorite album of 2010? I don't promise to listen to it, but I do promise to not judge.
Two Thursdays ago I pitched a million publicists, and then when I was done, I still had to do my day job. It was simultaneously exciting and depressing. I love my day job, but sometimes it is just not what I want to, you know, do every day. Then I got ignored by publicists and it made me cranky.
College football teams I am invested in this season: Auburn, and everything Cam Newton has thrown out of windows; Iowa, and their fine-lookin' Proud American Patriot Quarterback Ricky Stanzi, even if his hair is bad; Oregon and their Offensive Death Machine of Death; Boise State, because Boise State.
Everyone else can go hang. LSU was interesting until they lost. I am mad at Butch Davis. Even the Beam and VaTech are boring this year. Oregon, though. Man. That offense. I don't even know.
I wrote this post like 10 days ago and keep not posting it. Um. The only other things that have happened have been a) having a total meltdown at work two Mondays ago (I'm fine now), and b) Frank Turner is ruining my life. My Christmas mix was SO CLOSE to being done and then he released a new single and it was REALLY GOOD but I already had one of his songs in the mix, have for months, and I don't put two songs from one artist on the mix, so now I have to decide if I want to replace the song that was already there or save the new single and build the 2011 mix around it. Also ruining my life because he's not my boyfriend, but that one is less solvable. ALAS. FRANK TURNER, I LOVE YOU, BE MY BOYFRIEND.
That's all I got, y'all. What's up with you?
in my heart: restless
in my head: BRACE FOR CUMBERBATCH. ON THE TV.
cataloguing: numbered and lettered lists
Back in the spring, rossetti roped me in to thinking about getting involved with the OTW; she stayed on me and on me over the summer; I spent three months reading epic Harry Potter fics on Archive of Our Own in July; and in August, I let her rope me in, and I've been serving as a staffer on the Development & Membership committee since then.
The OTW is in the final days of our October fundraising drive, and in the last months, I've gotten to work with some of the most brilliant, driven, funny women I've had the pleasure of meeting in fandom. I love reading fic on AO3 because it's all just there and easy to find and it doesn't disappear. If you post on the AO3, or love fandom, or just have a whole whackload of extra cash lying around that you'd like to get rid of, click that graphic up there and think about donating it to OTW. It's a damn good cause. DO IT.
in my head: October 23, 2010: The Splendid Table -- American Public Media -- APM: The Splendid Table
cataloguing: fannish:miscellany
I think it; I say it. It's my way. - Cordelia Chase on Angel: the Series
I walk. I talk. I shop, I sneeze. I'm gonna be a fireman when the floods roll back.
There's trees in the desert since you moved out. And I don't sleep on a bed of bones. Now give me back my friends. - Buffy the Vampire Slayer, 4x22, "Restless"
backward 
