The Christian life is about relationship. The very way that God reveals himself is through the person of his son Jesus, who came to be with us. At the start of this revelation, God comes as a baby named Emmanuel, which means “God is with us.” As the disciples are being given their mission after his death, Jesus reiterates this truth: I am with you always, until the end of the age (Matt 28:20). If our motherhood is modeled after Christ’s own gift of life, so too should this mode of being “with us” be incorporated into our lives with our children. 

Balancing the healthy tension between “being about relationship” and “doing the things of motherhood” for me is like walking a tightrope. Lean too far to one side or the other, and I lose my balance. On the one extreme, I can enjoy the kids’ company all day long and not even think to move the laundry forward, have anyone attend play practice, or issue reminders to finish homework. While just enjoying each other’s company, I can let “being with kids” be the excuse for not fulfilling the duties of my state in life. 

However, the other side of the tightrope is the place I fall the most—being so busy doing for my family that I miss being with them. It sounds like, “Sorry, Love, I can’t read to you. Mommy has to make dinner, wash the dishes, prepare the homeschool lessons, and finish folding laundry.” Or, if I’m really entrenched in the work and burdened by the demands, it can sound like, “Can’t you see how much Mom has to do? I’m doing all these things for you!” (Spoken with clenched jaw and with exasperated breath).

A few weeks ago, we watched two of our friends’ kids as the couple went away for an anniversary weekend. I was simultaneously making a wedding program for another friend. (I know, falling off that side of the tightrope). In the middle of typing the bride’s name on the computer, the little four-year-old came up and sat on my lap. Contentedly, she sucked her thumb and let me hold her as I changed fonts and resized text boxes. It was a sweet moment for me. I often feel pulled to either be fully present to my kids or send them off so I can get something done. This little moment felt like a “God with us” moment, a good balance of being and doing, entering into relationship by being together, but also by doing for another. 

When I began typing this, my own six-year-old woke up and came to snuggle on the couch with me. I moved my computer so I could type and wrap my arms around her. My little sanguine daughter is all about people and relationships, and she’s teaching me how to better balance my two extremes.

God is with us.