Dear Jane, the press are being poo-poo heads and saying mean, untrue things about me just because I want to make some changes around here. How do I get them to stop? Yours, Left of Islington Dear Left Islington, Oh my dear, it seems the fourth estate has you in […]
By Jane Sillybottom, Expert in Everything (Especially the Impractical) My dearest dandelions of destiny, People often stop me in the street, or rather, they stop because I’ve blocked the entire pavement with my magnificent tower of millinery. “Jane!” they cry, “Why are you wearing so many hats?” And I simply […]
By Lady Jane Sillybottom, Unaccredited Thermologist and Hat-Based Survival Expert Darlings, do you feel the sun breathing down your neck like a sweaty tax collector in July? Is your forehead shinier than a toad in moonlight? Fear not! I, Lady Jane Sillybottom, am here to teach you how to thrive […]
Dear Jane, I’m in a club that runs the world. We take lots of money to keep me in the life I desire in exchange for lip service to their wants or something. We did the opposite of what they asked, and now the cads refuse to pay us. What […]
Dear Jane, I’m devastated. All my lovely white socks got washed with my multicoloured tie-dyed shirts and now none of them match. I’ve got an important interview tomorrow. Help! Bad-wash-day of Wolverhampton. Oh, you poor, tragic turnip tart of textile turmoil! This is a catastrophe of the highest cotton blend. […]
Dear Jane, everything is terrible, the world is super-heating, there’s a heatwave on, and they just cancelled my favourite show. I’m a glum chum. Glum of Gillingham Oh, Glum of Gillingham, you poor, steamy pudding of despair, First of all, let’s agree that when the world is on fire, both […]
Dear Jane, I’m in a really important gang; I’m the leader they elected. Everything was going great – I was enjoying bossing them about. Then I made up a new rule to try and attract the racists and bigots to support my gang. The gang rebelled, saying that this was […]
Dear Jane, my parents keep giving me loads of chores to do and saying something about “responsibility” and “being a grown-up”. I mean, what are they on about? I only just turned 30. How can I get out of all these boring household tasks? Unhappy from Hampton
Dear Jane, I think that my wife has found out about one of my girlfriends. What should I do? Serial cheater of Kent Dear Serial Cheater of Kent, Oh my, you’ve really dipped your biscuit in the prune juice this time, haven’t you? Now, I don’t like to judge—I once […]
Dear Jane, which of your books do you suggest I start with? Yours, Addicted to Books
