. . .

What.. am I?
I guess, human..
But, I'm serching for something..
Well, I think so..
I don't know what's what most of the time.
I seem to question a lot of things.
Myself.
Other people.
Other creatures.
I hate being human.
Human's are such wierd things.
I hate being liek that.
I hate having so many feelings.
I hate that so many feelings and thoughts and humans contradict themselves.
I hate how the humans though are so complicated are also so simple.
I hate a lot of things.
I don't like it.
I don't like hating things and people and myself.
I want to like things, and people and myself.
I'm very confused.
And, due to not likeing the fact I'm human and due to the fact I hate humans, I want to end my life.
But, I don't as well.
I want to believe their is shreds and shards of light and hope.
That, in time, will spread and light a way..
But, I guess that only happens if you chase the light..
Instead of sitting here and just watching the light carry on.
Like the world.
The world, carries on.. Always..
The sun will rise, the sun will shine, the sun will fall and give light to the moon..
And then, the cycle repeats.
No matter what the humans do.
They fight for justice.
They fight for belief.
They fight for greed.
They fight for jelousy.
They fight for a future.
They fight for whatever they think is right.
But then there are those who agree and disagree.
Those who agree fight along the side they obviously agree with.
And those who disagree make up their own sides and fight against the others believing their right.
But, if both sides believe they are right, then who is truly wrong?
Just one side?
Maybe both?
Or is it neither?
But, doesn't someone have to be wrong?
Isn't that what people say?
"Oh, I can't believe that, they're wrong."
But, are they really wrong if they're fighting for what they believe..
And, it's not always just the humans..
All sorts of creatures..
Insects, mamals and living things alike..
Human, vampires, demons..
As long as they believe what they are doing is right, then they can continue.
But, everyone continues creating a never ending cycle.
Even if they want peace, no matter what they do, nothing is ever truely piecfull..

I think, I hate humans the most.
And I hate myself even more.
But, why..
Why is it that I can not just stop here..
Just continue to dream.
Why must life have rules..?
Why can't people get along?
Why can't it all just end.
And maybe then..
Maybe then, we can start over again..

People say humans have been devloping over many centries, but we haven't at all..
That is what I think..
We as humans have not evolved at all..
We just created things that made life 'easyier', 'better'..
That is not true devlopment in my eyes..

Sorry.
When I started typing, I didn't know what to put, I just, felt like putting down my feelings.
Even now, there is probably so much more I could write..
But, I don't want to..
I have a pain in my chest, it's not nice..
I get it so often for all reasons, but..
I don't want the pain..
And, why can't I just forget things and be a normal person?
Who gets on with life..
Who strives hard..
Why can't I be what everyone else wants me to be?
Seen as I feel like I've already truely lost myself..

I just, don't know anymore..

I'm just glad I got something out.
Sorry, if this inconveiniences anyone..
And sorry for any spelling mistakes or typo's, but I can't be bothered with them..