Tag Archives: The Program

Eat Pray Exercise, Weight Loss Journey

Personal Power and Stumbling Blocks

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So I’ve been having a bit of problem with “The Program.” So much so that I’m thinking of not going to any more meetings.

The weird thing is that I don’t want to stop working it. I have no intention of stop working the steps. I just don’t want to go to meetings. And I haven’t run it past my sponsor yet, but I wonder how she’ll react.

I went to my first meeting back in November, and I won’t lie, I had this little voice in the back of my head saying, “It’s a cult.” I’m not sure where I got it from other than my brother who was forced to go to another version of The Program, but honestly, given his DUIs and his refusal to stop drinking, I took it with a really, really big grain of salt.

Now, I’ve seen people for whom it has transformed their lives. People from church. People I’ve watched over a period of months lose fantastic amounts of weight. So, there’s this, “But it works,” thing in my head, too.

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Eat Pray Exercise, Weight Loss Journey

First Official Week (14 January 2008)

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Saturday mornings are rough for me. I work grave shift and between flipping between my “real life hours” (school, second job during the week AND general ‘real life’ stuff) and “work life” hours, (my main job, Friday and Saturday nights), the weekends are just plain exhausting, and it seems like the rest of the week I am just trying to play catch up.

Meetings are apparently three times a week within a 30 minute drive, in different places and at different times. With my current schedule, I could attend either of the other two meetings far more easily.

But I really like this group. I like the energy of this group. Maybe that will change; maybe it will fade over time, or maybe I’ll just get tired of staying up past my shift when all I want to do is crash into bed rather than staying up and driving an hour round trip drive plus meeting time.

Hmm. I sound cranky. I think I am tired.

Scratch that, I know I’m tired.

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Eat Pray Exercise, Weight Loss Journey

Still the Beginning (08 January 2008)

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It’s been a crazy week, life-wise, and I haven’t had a lot of time to do much of anything, really.

I don’t have a food plan; I don’t even have a sponsor yet.

On the other hand, I do have smoke-free lungs. That was my big accomplishment this week, quitting smoking. I managed to do it last year, too, but it just didn’t “stick.”

I’ve also prayed and meditated every day without exception. This is probably for me, just as big an accomplishment as quitting smoking. Seven days. In a row. I know that this is key for me to move forward with my life. When I lose my sense of center and connection with God, I am all over the place, and an utter mess. This is something I have to keep up with for so many more reasons than JUST getting a handle on my eating.

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Eat Pray Exercise, Weight Loss Journey

First Step

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My footsteps are taking me in very strange places these days. Very strange. And now I’m over here…

…but I’m not sure what the point of talking about over here since I started ……out……….over………there.

Of course, deep down, I wonder what the point is of talking about anything after all.

Except for learning, I suppose. It seems all of my communication, regardless the medium, seems to be about learning these days.

And I’m not talking about anything I wanted to talk about, so I’ll just get to it. (Although, I really think it’s impossible for me to mentally ‘just get to’ anything, now that I think about it.)

I started another blog. A separate blog. A blog in which I could talk about something that has become so pervasive that I simply cannot ignore it any more. I wanted a separate blog for a couple of reasons. One, that I could talk about what I wanted to without censure because it was completely anonymous (important for what I’m doing, actually). But it wasn’t the most important reason.

Because, nick name or not, I’m no longer anonymous here. Classmates, and (I still strongly suspect) professors read this blog. Teachers read this blog. Friends read this blog.

People whose opinions of me matter read this blog.

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