So I just made it a month completely and utterly smoke free, and I am now on a mission.

Acutely aware of how everything smells, I am interested in finding a perfume that just says me, in a whispering tone, preferably. My mother has all of these little sprays with cute names like “Ocean Breath” and “Summer Love.”

The one I came across was “Seduction.” It’s one of those after-shower sprays or some such nonsense.

I swear, it could not have smelled any more like a half-empty and over-sugared pitcher of Tropical Punch Kool-Aid.

I’m trying to figure out who on earth might possibly find this stuff seductive other than a six year old in Vacation Bible School at cookie time.

I’ll let you know if I come up with anything.