Adulting: how to become a grown-up in 468 easy(ish) steps, by Kelly Williams Brown. Subjects covered include domesticity (finding an apartment and furniture, cleaning), cooking, some useful social rules, finding and keeping a job, money, maintenance etc- in great detail. (This book wasn’t specifically written for an autistic audience, but I can imagine giving a book like this as a reference to my children as they approach independence). Some of the specific references are American, but the general principles are useful everywhere.
Not faking
Doing what you must and feeling like you’re faking. Real disability often looks nothing like stereotypical disability (eg some wheelchair users can walk, some people with service dogs can read etc)- and being seen as a fake can result in loss of much-needed accommodations. People with disabilities are often forced to pretend to meet stereotypes in order to get their very real needs met.
Welcome to Italy
Why I hate “Welcome to Holland”, by Momma Dulock (Autism, or something like it blog). “Welcome to Holland” by Emily Perl Kingsley seems to be mandatory reading for parents of newly-diagnosed special needs children – all about how our parenting journey is different from what we’d planned and expected, but nonetheless beautiful. While “Welcome to Holland” does help to make sense of the deep emotion many parents feel after their child’s diagnosis, Momma Dulock makes the valid point that for all parents, in some way or another, their expectations didn’t quite match up to their reality, because their expectations were about them, not their child. Special Needs parents have unique struggles and challenges, but all parents end up in Italy – because we chose to be parents.
Chronologically out of step
Chronologically out of step, by Cynthia Kim (Musings of an Aspie). Interests that aren’t considered “age appropriate”, always feeling “behind” her peers, and wondering into adulthood when she would “catch up” – before finally realising she was different, and that was okay. “The typical developmental milestones are useful as a diagnostic aid, but beyond that they are simply a distraction- we are each literally our own developmental milestone chart.”
Support, not judgment
Extraordinary, by Heather (Raising Dystonia blog). How a humiliating and hurtful encounter with a judgmental stranger made a lasting impression on her – she now feels compelled to offer words of encouragement to any publicly struggling parents she sees. We rarely have the full story- many people are facing something extraordinary, and need support, not judgment. A very encouraging article!
Difficulties with writing
Please don’t make me write, by Kathy Oehler (Autism Aspergers Digest). Detailed explanation of the neurology involved with writing, and how that makes it hard for people with autism.
Meltdown or tantrum?
Autistic Meltdown or Temper Tantrum? by Judy Endow. A very thorough, clear explanation about the differences between the two.
Sensory Processing Progress
Sensory Processing Issues – how far we’ve come, by Shawna (NotTheFormerThings blog). I identified with this article from the beginning – how many times people have seen us doing something “odd”, which was a sensory accommodation that we’d forgotten was unusual! Or the times we need to brainstorm the accommodations we do automatically, so we can tell teachers and other significant people? Accommodating our children’s sensory needs has made such a positive difference in our family too.
Neurotypical? Who exactly?
Neurotypical? Who exactly?, by Sharon Morris (The Tumultuous Truth blog). Another post about language (some of the comments are interesting too) – if “neurotypical” is used to mean “not autistic” – then where do people with mental health diagnoses, brain injuries etc fit? I’m starting to think that “not autistic” is probably a more accurate descriptor.
What’s your function?
What’s your function?, by Cynthia Kim (MusingsOfAnAspie blog). She explains her need for routines as saving brain-power for more important things, by limiting options for less important things. A good explanation of how tiring options and decisions can be for people with impaired executive functioning.
lovenlearning 