Presume competence, in me

lovenlearning Autism - Parental Mental Health , , , , , ,

Presume competence, in me (Autism Bubble blog).

I’m tired of seeing great, loving parents, who never stop looking for ways they can do better for their kids being beaten down, and feeling like they can never be who, or what their children need.

We struggle to accept compliments, or encouragement as parents without feeling obligated to be offended on our child’s behalf, when usually all the person is saying is, “Hey, you’re doing a great job, keep it up” without meaning anything derogatory about our kids, or about autism for that matter. I say that all the time to my friends with neurotypical kids, because parenting is hard, and their response is usually ‘Thank you, I really needed to hear that today.”. So why is it so wrong for us to need and accept the same validation as parents from others?

Female adult diagnosis

lovenlearning Articles from Autistic Adults, Autism - Girls and Women, Autism - Newly diagnosed, Autism - Parental Mental Health, Autism - Therapies and Therapists

Parents often become aware of their own Autistic traits following the diagnosis of their children, when they realise that they share many of the same characteristics. Some identify strongly with what they’re reading and learning, and self-diagnose; others seek a psychologist for an official diagnosis. Clinical understanding of the female presentation of Autism is still very much a work-in-progress, so finding a clinician with skills to diagnose adult women can apparently be quite challenging!

I was very impressed with this article by Tania Marshall – Adult Autism Assessment in Females. It gives some good background information, details about what’s included in an adult diagnostic assessment (and why!), and “What’s Next” after diagnosis.

While it may be tempting to check out some of the online Autism tests, most of them are only indicative at best, and often gender-biased. Cynthia Kim, from Musings of an Aspie blog, has written good critiques of some of the more popular tests, including Autism Quotient, Empathising Quotient, Systematising Quotient and Aspie Quiz.

Brave program online

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The BRAVE Program is an interactive, online program for the prevention and treatment of childhood and adolescent anxiety. The programs are free, and provide ways for children and teenagers to better cope with their worries.

We were quite impressed with it, as it used many of the same effective strategies we’d seen in our daughter’s OT sessions- and is online and free!

ASD in Qld

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My child has Autism Spectrum Disorder (information for Queensland families of children aged 9-17) is a succinct but thorough booklet with information about ASD, the diagnostic process, financial support, access to specialists and financial support for people in rural/remote areas, how to find therapists, services and support available in Queensland, school options, and transition from school. While some of the information is Queensland-specific, it is still useful as an overview to people in other states.

Disability Expos

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There are two big disability expos coming up soon in Brisbane/Ipswich.

Ipswich Fresh Futures Market (“Connect with local resources and support for your future”) is on Wed 26 August, with over 60 stallholders, workshops etc.

Disability Awareness and post school Expo is on Wed 16 September at Chandler Theatre & Arena (Brisbane), with over 100 exhibitors, plus workshops and demonstrations.

Siblings and acceptance

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In Jesse’s Shoes, by Beverly Lewis. Written from the perspective of the sister of a boy with special needs (most likely autism)- from embarrassment about how her peers see them both, through to literally walking in his shoes. She learned to appreciate him and his interests, and to stand up to and educate the troublemakers. Great story for promoting understanding of both autism, and sibling issues. The book does contain some Christian content.

Children’s book about trauma

lovenlearning Books for Children ,

A Terrible Thing Happened, by Margaret M Holmes.  This book is about helping children to process trauma.  The main character is a raccoon, who has seen a terrible thing, that upset and scared him.  He decided not to think about it, but eventually started having physical and emotional effects. His parents took him to someone who could help him figure out his feelings, who played with him and encouraged him to draw pictures, then talked about them. He felt stronger, and much better. At the end of the book are notes for parents and caregivers. Nice simple language, and general enough to be used in many different difficult situations.

Stigma of invisible disability

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6 things you must know about the disabilities we can’t see, by Julie Zeilinger.  The needs of people with invisible disabilities aren’t always considered, their experience is frequently questioned, and sometimes they are accused of lying or making excuses.  This can lead people with invisible disabilities to downplay their experiences, which perpetuates the invisibility and stigma.

Focus on positive

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Reclaiming the dignity lost in a diagnosis, by Cas Faulds (We are like your child blog).

My son is autistic, and I know what it is like to sit with professionals and be told how limited your child is.  

Her recommendation: Rewrite the professional report using positive (neurodiverse) language, rather than negative/deficit (pathology) language- and she includes an example.

You are going to have to introduce your child to teachers and therapists and you’re going to have to do that more than once.  When you do, you want to do that from a place of strength rather than a place of weakness.  You want to highlight your child’s unique potential rather than place limitations on them.