Let's talk about parents who can't stay out of their children's marriages.
Why do some parents feel entitled to control a marriage they didn't build? This pattern has quietly destroyed homes and broken people who never saw it coming.
Here's what's ironic — these same parents would never tolerate anyone meddling in their marriages.
Your role as a parent shifts the moment they say "I do" — but it doesn't disappear, it just looks different on the other side of it. What you owe them is prayer and godly counsel before they choose, not control after they have chosen. Pour into them early, guide them with your words and prayers, then trust God with what you've planted — before your presence becomes a source of pain in their home.
Look at Abraham. He was intentional about ensuring Isaac married right — and after that? Scripture goes silent on his involvement. He did his part and stepped back.
Look at Samson's parents. They voiced their concerns, did their best to guide him, and when he made his choice, they didn't interfere. That's maturity. Do the work early — pray, counsel, guide — then hand them over to God and step back gracefully.
I remember a monthly singles meeting where one of the sisters shared what she was going through. Every time there was a misunderstanding in her relationship, the young man would run to his mother. His mother would then call the young lady to "settle" the matter.
That is not love. That is a man who never left home — emotionally.
Ladies, if you find yourself in that kind of relationship, especially if your peace of mind matters to you, take it as a sign and leave.
Another lady at that same meeting shared how she handled a similar situation. Her partner couldn't make a single decision in their relationship without first consulting his mother. She spotted the red flag early — and wisely chose safety over sentiment.
So, how do you avoid raising that kind of parent?
Build a strong marriage of your own. Children learn what partnership looks like by watching you.
Respect your sons and daughters-in-law. They are someone's beloved child — treat them that way. And remember, if you interfere, you're giving the other in-laws permission to do the same.
Put yourself in their position. If your son or daughter were treated the way you treat their spouse, how would that sit with you?
Understand what marriage means for your family. When your child marries, you don't lose them — you gain a child. The moment you see a daughter or son-in-law as a rival, you've already lost.
Finally, consider Ruth and Naomi. The Bible doesn't give us a detailed account of how Naomi treated Ruth — but Ruth's response tells us everything. A woman doesn't leave her homeland, her people, and her gods for a mother-in-law who made her feel like an outsider.
Be the kind of in-law people choose to stay close to.
© Adebimpe Obafemi
Why do some parents feel entitled to control a marriage they didn't build? This pattern has quietly destroyed homes and broken people who never saw it coming.
Here's what's ironic — these same parents would never tolerate anyone meddling in their marriages.
Your role as a parent shifts the moment they say "I do" — but it doesn't disappear, it just looks different on the other side of it. What you owe them is prayer and godly counsel before they choose, not control after they have chosen. Pour into them early, guide them with your words and prayers, then trust God with what you've planted — before your presence becomes a source of pain in their home.
Look at Abraham. He was intentional about ensuring Isaac married right — and after that? Scripture goes silent on his involvement. He did his part and stepped back.
Look at Samson's parents. They voiced their concerns, did their best to guide him, and when he made his choice, they didn't interfere. That's maturity. Do the work early — pray, counsel, guide — then hand them over to God and step back gracefully.
I remember a monthly singles meeting where one of the sisters shared what she was going through. Every time there was a misunderstanding in her relationship, the young man would run to his mother. His mother would then call the young lady to "settle" the matter.
That is not love. That is a man who never left home — emotionally.
Ladies, if you find yourself in that kind of relationship, especially if your peace of mind matters to you, take it as a sign and leave.
Another lady at that same meeting shared how she handled a similar situation. Her partner couldn't make a single decision in their relationship without first consulting his mother. She spotted the red flag early — and wisely chose safety over sentiment.
So, how do you avoid raising that kind of parent?
Build a strong marriage of your own. Children learn what partnership looks like by watching you.
Respect your sons and daughters-in-law. They are someone's beloved child — treat them that way. And remember, if you interfere, you're giving the other in-laws permission to do the same.
Put yourself in their position. If your son or daughter were treated the way you treat their spouse, how would that sit with you?
Understand what marriage means for your family. When your child marries, you don't lose them — you gain a child. The moment you see a daughter or son-in-law as a rival, you've already lost.
Finally, consider Ruth and Naomi. The Bible doesn't give us a detailed account of how Naomi treated Ruth — but Ruth's response tells us everything. A woman doesn't leave her homeland, her people, and her gods for a mother-in-law who made her feel like an outsider.
Be the kind of in-law people choose to stay close to.
© Adebimpe Obafemi
Let's talk about parents who can't stay out of their children's marriages.
Why do some parents feel entitled to control a marriage they didn't build? This pattern has quietly destroyed homes and broken people who never saw it coming.
Here's what's ironic — these same parents would never tolerate anyone meddling in their marriages.
Your role as a parent shifts the moment they say "I do" — but it doesn't disappear, it just looks different on the other side of it. What you owe them is prayer and godly counsel before they choose, not control after they have chosen. Pour into them early, guide them with your words and prayers, then trust God with what you've planted — before your presence becomes a source of pain in their home.
Look at Abraham. He was intentional about ensuring Isaac married right — and after that? Scripture goes silent on his involvement. He did his part and stepped back.
Look at Samson's parents. They voiced their concerns, did their best to guide him, and when he made his choice, they didn't interfere. That's maturity. Do the work early — pray, counsel, guide — then hand them over to God and step back gracefully.
I remember a monthly singles meeting where one of the sisters shared what she was going through. Every time there was a misunderstanding in her relationship, the young man would run to his mother. His mother would then call the young lady to "settle" the matter.
That is not love. That is a man who never left home — emotionally.
Ladies, if you find yourself in that kind of relationship, especially if your peace of mind matters to you, take it as a sign and leave.
Another lady at that same meeting shared how she handled a similar situation. Her partner couldn't make a single decision in their relationship without first consulting his mother. She spotted the red flag early — and wisely chose safety over sentiment.
So, how do you avoid raising that kind of parent?
Build a strong marriage of your own. Children learn what partnership looks like by watching you.
Respect your sons and daughters-in-law. They are someone's beloved child — treat them that way. And remember, if you interfere, you're giving the other in-laws permission to do the same.
Put yourself in their position. If your son or daughter were treated the way you treat their spouse, how would that sit with you?
Understand what marriage means for your family. When your child marries, you don't lose them — you gain a child. The moment you see a daughter or son-in-law as a rival, you've already lost.
Finally, consider Ruth and Naomi. The Bible doesn't give us a detailed account of how Naomi treated Ruth — but Ruth's response tells us everything. A woman doesn't leave her homeland, her people, and her gods for a mother-in-law who made her feel like an outsider.
Be the kind of in-law people choose to stay close to.
© Adebimpe Obafemi
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