Well then my lovely American chums - I can't begin to imagine how you're feeling right now. I was stunned to see the result. Shouldn't have been so surprised I suppose, shouldn't have had such faith. It is terrifying from where I sit, so truly can't imagine the view from there. You have my hugs and love and sympathies.

And now it's October - and that only just and it's been so long.

Hello.

I won't try and summarise months of a terribly dull life.Well, I will, but very briefly. So. Work continue sto be shit and unbearable and people have left - some for babies, some for relocation purposes, and more are going - babies and relocation and it is horrible and we are all on a minimum of 150% workload and it is undoable and awful and yuk.

Perhaps related, I failed badly at not being on antidepressant medication and have been represcribed and am starting the road upwards again. Happy pills, happy days. Something.

But I have a new kitty. She is beautiful and playful and sooooo snuggly and. Her mother walked into my mother's house and had babies. So we had the joyfulness of 6 kittens for a while. (Mixed with the strife of 6 kittens, rehoming six five kittens and the mother, and my mother bemoaning the trauma everyday, despite the fact it's her house the cats come into and she who feeds all the strays in the neighbourhood and .... anyway. There were six beautiful bundles but only one little girl and she's now mine. She's called Delilah and is bouncy and brilliant. Bruce hates her, but Bernie and Rufus think she's fine. Bruce hates everybody though, except me.

Hello.

Here are some things that are happening/have happened/might happen.

Work - ( Read more...Collapse )

Oh and to add insult to injury, I work in a seaside town and we have seagulls nesting on our roof. We have been watching the nest get built and the mother sitting, tending to her eggs for the last three weeks. Awaiting the hatching and the babies. 'They' announced on Friday that Rentokill were coming this weekend to "get rid" of the nest. I HATE it. I'm so sad - I'm just hoping that rentokill failed to turn up as most of our contracters do. :(

( viewingCollapse )

What else? ( weight stuffCollapse )

Erm, anything else? I'm having some problems with emotions at the moment - Doc advised me to stop anti depressants, so I've done so, but am not doing brilliantly on it. Not sure how long the adjustments is supposed to last, or whether I should go back on them. I'm crying over utterly random things (a plant dying, spilled drinks), moderately saddening things (movie, the seagull, my hair) and truly awful things (shooting in Orlando par example), as well as a generally increased level of anxiety (if Paula and I do a vintage sale in August I will have to speak with people...I can't do that...) It's all rather tiring.

But I can still see!

I can see :)

It's been an interesting week, but my eyes are settled now and I can see.

The day itself was okay - my friend drove me to Norwich (about an hour away) for the op, and we did lunch etc beforehand, then she went shopping and I went to be lasered. I was there about 2.5 hours all told, but there was a lot of sitting around waiting. I had my eyes checked over again, handed in my doctor's note and had a 5 minute conversation (well, a listen really) with the surgeon. Then waited...

I stayed calm and serene all the way through, until I was laying on the bed and then I panicced internally a little and really wanted to hold someone's hand.

When it was my turn... I was ushered in to the theatre and laid down upon a bed, they jiggled my head about a bit till it was in the right position, then my eyes and brows were swabbed. While I was waiting I could hear everything that was being said to the people having their op done - I must have had some weird stress deafness though, 'cos when it was my turn I really struggled to hear anything they said to me.

They clamped something into my eye (it applied some form of suction to hold things tight) I couldn't feel suction, but it was like someone was pressing on my eye. This lasted 15 seconds per eye. At this point I lost vision and all I could see was a tiny flickering light. The laser thing happened. I could see flashing and I felt what seemed like tiny drops of water - this lasted 30 seconds per eye.

That was it. They had me sit up. Then had me lay down again quite quickly when I nearly passed out (!) I did breathing exercises for a bit, then was taken through to have my eyes looked at - literally a quick scan with hand held lens. I was told to call my friend for a lift, given a bag with some eye drops and ( the most sexy goggles you've ever seenCollapse ) and sent on my way.

At the time I was surprised, thinking there woul dhave been a greater "lay back and relax and get over things" scenario going on, but in hindsight, I think they thrive on people walking out of the doors, under their own steam, smiling and "phew, that was better than I thought"ing. Which is what I did.

10 minutes later however, ie before I'd even got to the carpark, my eyes were fused shut and I was blind and in agony. I literally could only open my eyes by prising the lids apart with my fingers. The journey home was horrendous - not least because my friend announced she'd "never driven this way before" and kept asking me for directions. When I explained that I. Could. Not. See. She tried to help me out with landmarks like "there are lots of trees" and comments such as "aren't the fields pretty" (!) - I gave her directions through my home town by memory and felt my way to my Mum's front door. I needed pampering!

I stayed at Mum's that night - I went to bed as soon as I got in for a few hours, then ate, then went
back to bed - I couldn't open my eyes for over 6 hours (trying to put in eye drops was fun!).

Next day though, I could see. Not perfectly and my eyes stung and felt gritty - but I could see. I had another visit to the surgery and was declared "better than 20/20 vision" and fit to drive (This eye exam took 10 minutes, including getting in, going up to the third floor and waiting to be seen.)

I've needed eye drops for the week (expected) and have had to get used to
a) pushing non existent glasses up my nose
b) trying to take off non existent glasses to see close up
c) having to don reading glasses to see close up
d) searching for glasses when I wake up before remembering I don't wear them anymore.

I think I'm getting there now though :)

I was going to type "eep" - but the nerves haven't really kicked in yet. Most of my time has been spent trying to get my doctor to sign the letter that I need before they'll do the op. The letter was a pre printed thing that had two tick boxes either to say: patient medical conditions are stable or patient medical conditions are unstable.
One tick is all he needed to do and my doctor refused to do it. Instead, he printed out a list of my medications, involving effort worthy copy/paste and resizing before signing that but refusing to sign the form itself. I've had to get the thing he printed scanned, then sent to the surgeon to see if he'd accept it. He said no. So then I had to get it emailed to work, printed, faxed to the surgery with a covering letter basically begging him to sign it. (I've been in Hampshire, so couldn't take it in person.) I went yesterday to collect it and he *still* hadn't done it, so I had to beg the receptionist once again. He finally signed it this afternoon! I haven't had time to be nervous!

Ask me tomorrow morning and it may be another matter...

Hampshire was nice - family visit and relaxation. We went to The Spinnaker tower and I stood on the glass floor. ( proofCollapse )

That was fun.

I nearly had my eyebrows waxed, but chickened out at the last minute (not for pain, just didn't feel comfortable going into the salon) so I bought some DIY strips and then nearly blinded myself trying to get excess wax off my eyelids...

oh! And in the picture above you can see - I bought jeans!!!! So excited by this it's ridiculous!

And that's January done. Not quite sure how time is passing so ridiculously quickly. Work, work has been continuing with its joyfulness, but at least it continues.

I've managed to meet my "book a week" target ( Read more...Collapse )

I've watched hardly any television - Hawaii Five-O, Sherlock, erm, a couple of Big Bang Theories and that's about it.

Erm. I have spent more time with friends, which is good, I've been pub quizzing a couple of times and am trying to be a little more sociable. (not trying very hard if I'm honest.)

Hey Ho.

First week back at work after a holiday - work sucked big time. I've had so many meetings and been away from my desk for more than 50% of my working week, had to go in on my non working day to be talked to by some Cambridgeshire Police officer and colleagues like I was an inept little girl who had no right to impose on their air. I'm already behind on a hundred and one things and it looks like it's gonna get worse for the next few weeks at least.

We had the funeral of a much loved and respected work colleague, which was really tough, plus of course,the loss of Bowie and Alan Rickman. I've had an inner soundtrack of Bowie all week, which is a mixed blessing.

On a more positive note, the chap I went to see in prison on Monday, announced at the end of the visit that he was please to say I "wasn't the old witch he'd been told I was." So that was nice wasn't it...

Now I'm off to buy myself some Doc Martens in the sale.

So yes.

I bought this print today - after seeing it in a gallery in the summer and talking myself out of it then - but I've saved up and decided to treat myself :)



If this is huge I'll try and remember how to do a cut...

It's by Clare Curtis and I love it. It's called Barbara's Garden and is inspired by Barbara Hepworth's garden.

I wish I could create such beauty, but I'm happy to enjoy the work of others!

Hello,

Seasonal Greetings! Some lovely people sent me cards and I do do do appreciate it and loved them and Thank you! Thank You! There are (yet again) written cards sitting on my side, that never quite made it to the post office. I am quite rubbish in many regards.

I hope those who do Christmas had a good one? Mine was incredibly quiet (and utterly unfestive) - I stopped with Mum, who was entirely anti Christmas this year and well, presents were about the only acknowledgement of the day there was - we had breakfast, returned to my house to visit and feed my cats, then went for a drive. We had crackers and cheese for lunch. Presents came at around 3pm and later we had baked pots and chicken for tea. It was - it was a pleasant day in itself, lazy and relaxed. What it wasn't, was *Christmas* and that's left me feeling rather flat and sad.

Conversely, my birthday (the day before) was lovely. I had breakfast with one friend, returned home and promptly went out with another friend for lunch. I got back from that at 4.30, and by 5 was at Mum's meeting with another friend and her family. They left and my brother and sister in law arrived. Whilst they were there friend arrived and she stayed for the rest of the evening. It was non stop loveliness, seeing friends and family and for that I'm mightily grateful.

And now it's Monday and it's a day off from work and it's Sunny and... I'm sitting in in my pjs, with a massive fluffy dressing gown, a hot water and (in a minute) I'm returning to my book. Small pleasures.

x

I have one hair on my chinny chin chin that I *cannot* get with the tweezers, and it's driving me wild.

In other, unrelated "news" (I use the term reservedly):

I completed Fire Marshall training last wek, watched a disturbing and terrifying video of a fire in New York, learned which extinguishers go with which fire and embarrassed myself ridiculously when I misunderstood a question. (You know, one of those faux pas that the trainer then comments on and quotes for the remainder of the session...)
It was still fun though.

I went on another 'training ' event - a Health and Well-being day in London. I left my house at 6.45am and returned at 8.30pm. The event lasted 2.5hours and consisted of: A woman, probably a size 20UK sizing, announcing how even though she was so horribly FAT, she was still a runner and anyone could do anything they set their mind to, and the wilder and more unrealistic the goals the better. A man, who wore a camouflage jacket and glittery trousers performing a "psychodrama" about his life in the forces. A variety of stalls (tables with leaflets on and salesmen) trying to sell us Health care, social club membership, union membership and secure donations to charities. And 30 minutes of yoga.

The yoga was fun (even though it still ended with the lead pointing out that his company's services could be hired), but as relaxing as it was, it wasn't worth the day, my time or the cost to the company of getting me there. There wasn't even tea or coffee!!!!

Erm, yes. It calmed me no end.

Anything else? Probably. I'm behind on all the tv (Except Walking Dead, I'm watching Walking Dead) and I'm rereading Harry Potter, because I need stress free reading and I'm cold, but my hot water bottle and cat are helping to overcome that.

:waves: