Live in Fiction

 How Jewish are you? Even if you're not, it's fun anyway!

It sucks.  University of Delaware's whole spring schedule sucks.  Since I didn't do the winter session, my winter break didn't end until February, I'm just on Spring Break, when most people only have a few weeks of the semester left.  My friends and I were going to go to Ocean City right at the beginning of the summer, but I will still be at school.  And for most of my winter break, and spring break, absolutely no one else is home from school except other people at Delaware. 

As much as I love University of Delaware and everyone I've met there....Andrew, Melinda, Alyssa, especially Alex...I can't help but thinking about what it would be like to go to University of Maryland College Park or University of Miami.  College Park is so much bigger than Delaware and even closer to home.  And even though not a lot of my close friends go there, I know a ton of people that go and it's such a fun place.  Every time I'm home I want to go to the Thirsty Turtle, but it hasn't happened yet.  And I really like how close to home it is.  But what's weird is that what I like about UMiami is how far away it is.  I guess the only reason I'd be able to put up with it is because...well its Miami! And while I wouldn't be close to home, I would still be close to family.  They have a scuba club, I think that is the coolest thing ever.  I've always wanted to learn how to scuba dive.  I love marine biology and aquatic life...when its not scary lol

This was a Facebook note, but I want to put it here too.

1. If I could, I would have like 15 majors. There are so many areas I'm interested in, so many jobs I want to have, and would love to find a career involving them all. I've wanted to major in Fashion Merchandising (DUH), Communications, Journalism, Interior Design, Dance, and HRIM (for my dream of being Lorelai Gilmore? :-P) and I've also wanted to learn how to sew, bake and cook, and so many other things. I actually love learning, I just don't like it as much when it's formalized and mandatory. But one of the things I love about college is that there are so many subjects I can study.

2. I actually don't believe I watch too much TV. It's not something I do just to pass the time, for idle entertainment. I love shows. I don't really know what it is, but watching movies and television makes me happier, and I think it can give you more insight into your life than anything else. When I have a problem, I'd rather watch movies that either have similar problems or are similar to what I want to happen than talk it out. I talk it out after I've watched a few movies.

3. I love purses. I have way too many. But it's so much more useful to buy a lot of purses than a lot of clothes. My favorite purses are my I Love Lucy one from a flea market in Florida (but I don't use it much anymore since it's gotten dirty and worn and is a weird size and shape), my Betseyville, and everything Vera Bradley.

4. I am a Vera Bradley addict. I don't care how many 45-year old women have Veras now, I still love most of the designs. I wish I could decorate my room in everything Vera, especially Mod Floral Pink

5. I don't eat anything healthy and am a very picky eater. I can't even get into the extent of how much of an understatement this is.

6. I love writing. I've always had a diary that I try to write in everyday (but end up writing in once or twice a month) and still have a Livejournal, even though I rarely update it and mostly use it to look at communities and for Sam to hack into :-P

7. I tend to ramble about miniscule details and overthink things, which is why I've only written seven facts and have been at this for, like, an hour.

8. I tend to like people older and younger than me more than people my own age. I've always been like that, and I don't know why. Maybe because parts of me are mature for my age, and parts of me are less mature, so I relate better to people that aren't my age.

9. I was really scared of dogs when I was little, so we got a do so I'd be forced to get over it. For the first year or so, I couldn't be in the same room as Bailey and wouldn't touch him for another year after that. Now, one of the hardest parts of being at school is being away from him, especially since he's in such poor health and I am always the last to find out about his latest trip to the vet.

10. I still don't really like any other dogs. Not enough to pet them or play with them. But I'm not scared of a dog unless it's really big, so I guess the plan still worked.

11. I love being Jewish. Although I'm not very religious, I love the cultural aspects of it, and the traditions. Becoming involved with SYTI is one of the best decisions I've ever made and I wish I had done it sooner and been more involved..

12. I like dancing more now than I ever have, because I know that I can basically do anything on my ankle and although it might hurt, nothing permanent will happen. And after two years of not having something I couldn't live a day without, now every time I dance is a whole new experience, realizing how far I've come. A year ago today, I could not even stand up on my own.

13. I hate my small hands and feet. Part of my whole ankle thing was that my feet and ankles were literally too small to support the rest of my body. And I never got past a certain point in playing guitar because my fingers couldn't reach the top string without blocking the first one or two and I couldn't spread my fingers far enough to play a lot of the chords.

14. I have wanted to learn how to surf since I was seven, but still to the date have not taken a lesson.

15. That brings up another thing about me, I procrastinate a lot. Like how I have to get tagged in a note thing at least three times before I actually follow the directions and do it myself.

16. I never liked football until a year or two ago. I still went to games and kept up with what was happening, but I didn't actually care about the games. But I've always had spirit for my school, my town, my community, and now football has finally grown on me.

17. I eat Goldfish constantly. I like buying the big cartons and sitting it on it's side next to me so the little fishies just pour on out and I don't even have to reach my hand in.

18. I'm extremely, extremely, extremely emotional. I cry, like, three times a week, even though in a normal week I probably don't experience anything that would normally elicit tears. I still cry watching movies and TV shows I've seen a hundred times, and can't even watch a commercial for the last episode of Friends without tearing up. I've only watched the last few episodes a few times, even though I've watched the rest of the season like 10 times and the rest of the series like 50. I REALLY AM EMOTIONAL.

19. I get really nervous speaking in front of people or to a person of authority. But I could act, sing, or dance in front of an entire city and be fine.

20. Three of my best guy friends are gay. And I love it.

21. Most of my friends, I've been friends with my whole life. At any given time I'll have a bunch of close friends, but the same five or six have been there through anything and everything.

22. Writing this is hard to do because I don't like opening up to people. That's why all of these things have been random and topical.

23. A few months ago, I met this guy Alex. He's pretty much amazing.

24. I think I like my sister a lot more than she likes me :(

25. My grandmother is absolutely awesome. I am exactly like her, only 50-some years younger. She's always sending me ridiculous forwards and emails with hilarious quotes from one of the various TV shows we both like. And I am really close with the rest of my family, too. We are one of those families that can't go a week without seeing each other, and a few days without talking to each other.

This weekend I went up to school since it's so boring at home.  But I must say, it wasn't much more fun there.  The drive felt weirdly unfamiliar, like the first time I drove there.  At one point, I thought I passed the exit, because I didn't recognize anything, but I hadn't.  I got to school around 3 and called my RA to come let me in the building (she's SO nice to have given me my key on the DL).  I really wanted to just lay down and take a nap, but my bed was stripped so I had to unpack all my bedding and make the bed first.  I hate how high up my bed is.  I have to either jump up or use my desk chair as a step :-P.  It also makes it a lot harder to make.  I can't do it by myself without actually getting on the bed.  I'm wondering if I can get a new set of bed risers that are a little lower than the ones I currently have.  If I just set the bed on the floor, there wouldn't be room for the drawers I have under there.  I can't wait to live off-campus.  That's still a big problem though, which I'll get to later.

So Karen let me into Rodney, I made the bed, and took a nap.  After, I walked to the student services center to get the forms I needed to get the credits from HCC transferred.  I had some questions, but the clerk just gave me the form and sent me away, so I guess I'll be going back when I'm there next.  For a few hours I watched TV and worked on my psych homework while texting with Alex and Andrew to try to find plans for tonight.  Andrew's boyfriend was there in the afternoon and then Andrew went to some party off campus for a little bit.  So when Alex finally got to UD, he came and got me and walked me back to his house.  Only three of his roommates are doing winter session, and the only people at the house were Matt and their friend that lives somewhere else.  It was just a beer pong night, nothing that fun.  Andrew, Lexi, and Tyler stopped by for a bit and some of Alex's other friends came later.

At one point, Alex sat down next to me and I just sort of snuggled into him =)  His friends started hassling him, asking if we were 'facebook official' and stuff.  I knew that he didn't want to become official until we were back on campus for spring semester, but the way he reacted to them for some reason made me doubt us.  At around 2:30, I asked him to walk me home, even though he wanted me to stay over.  I did want to, but I felt bad having my RA technically break rules to let me in and then not actually staying there.  He came inside for a little, and I was feeling brave so before he left I asked him about becoming official.  He said he would talk to me about it tomorrow, which I thought was a bad sign.
But when we met up to say goodbye and for him to help me put my stuff in the car, he asked me out =)  It felt amazing.  I didn't answer him, because didn't need to.  I can confidently say I've never felt this way about a guy before.  A month ago I was dreading winter break and the thought of not seeing him for almost two months.  But I ended up seeing him three times, one of which was seeing his hometown and ringing in the New Year together.  The weekends with him made the rest of my boring break better.  And he might be moving back to Newark next weekend, as opposed to in two weekends when the semester starts.  So I might be able to go watch the Superbowl with him :D

So of course I woke up ridiculously early, probably 8 or so.  At ten I went to Main St.  I missed it.  I got to Dunkin Donuts, ordered my breakfast, and discovered when I went to pay that I left my wallet in my room.  So I had to walk back :( It's only a ten minute walk at the most and I never usually mind it but I didn't have a jacket and I was wearing slippers, so I was cold and it was hard to walk.  Andrew let me in and I went up to my room and decided to drive back to I got my keys.  In the parking lot I realized that I still didn't have my wallet, so Andrew had to let me in again.  About 45 minutes later I actually got to eat.

I wanted to buy my textbooks in person because if I reserved them online I would have to pick them up the same time the rest of the campus was picking up books and I wanted to beat the crowd.  At the first place I went, they only had the books for my English and Chemistry classes, not Fashion 218 or Communications.  They had the book for Fashion 110, but I already had it.  But the other bookstore on main only had Chemistry and Communications.  I got those, then went back to the other place for English.  Neither place had the book for FASH218.  I drove to Perkins (where the main university bookstore is), but it was closed.  So I went back to my room and ordered the book from the bookstore online, and will have to pick it up during the pandemonium.  But it's whatever since I had no other choice left.  I took another nap, packed, and met with Alex to say goodbye and was on my way.

So at the beginning of the summer I made a list of things that I wanted to do this summer...hahahahaha let's see how that went...

1.    *********** <--DONE. &hearts; senior week 08
2.    Stay up all night   NOPE
3.    Sneak out             WELL SORT OF...
4.    Go camping        NOPE
5.    Go to Cascade Lake   IF I DON'T HAVE TO WORK TOMORROW
6.    Go to Georgetown    NOPE
7.    Go to the Inner Harbor     NOPE
8.    Go skinny-dipping       HAHA HALFWAY
9.    Go clubbing           NOPE
10.    Go on a road trip with friends        NOPE
11.    Learn how to surf           NOPE
12.    ************
13.    Kiss a total stranger            YES
14.    Kiss in the water                 NOPE
15.    Have a picnic                      NOPE
16.    Go to a bonfire                    NEGATIVE
17.    Go to New York                   SADLY NO
18.    Spend a day playing board games       NOPE
19.    Write everyday                    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
20.    Tie-Dye                               NADA
21.    Spend a night playing poker or blackjack         NO
22.    Get another piercing             NO
23.    Ride a rollercoaster              NO
24.    Go to Warped Tour                FINIALLLY I DID ONE! YES NOT THAT I REMEMBER IT LOL
25.    Watch movies for 24 hours straight            PROBABLY WILL SOMETIME THIS WEEK...
26.    Watch everything on the list of movies I want to see       PSHHHH
27.    Read everything on the list of books I want to read         HAHAHAHA NO
28.    Go to Madame Tussaud’s Wax Museum in D.C.            NOPE
29.    Go to a carnival or fair                                                  NEGATIVOOOO
30.    Go whitewater rafting                                                  NO, OR AS THEY SAY SOUTH OF THE BORDER, NO!
31.    Tailgate and go to a baseball game                                NO
32.    Go to a drive-in movie                                        NO
33.    Host a theme part y                          WASN'T ALLOWED TO
34.    Go paint-balling                                      CHICKENED OUT
35.    Have a picnic on a roof                   NOPE
36.    Meet new people                         YEAH
37.    Fly a kite                                              NOPE
38.    Have a water balloon fight               NOPE
39.    Go Hiking                                NOT OFFICIALLY
40.    Go tubing                                    HAHA ONLY AT SIX FLAGS...
41.    Lose 10 pounds                     I'M SO CLOSE!
42.    Play with sprinklers and a Slip ‘n Slide          NAH
43.    Get more people to participate in International Dress-Up Day!           OOPS FORGOT ABOUT THIS ONE...
44.    Bake all day                                    HAHAHA OMG DEPENDS ON WHAT VERSION OF BAKE...
45.    Finish all the craft projects I’ve started in the past year               HELL NAW THAT WOUDLVE TAKEN THE ENTIRE SUMMER
46.    Have a parking lot dance party                                  IDK
47.    See ***** and not flip out or cry afterwards                YES!!!!!!!
48.    Play my guitar more often                            WASNT TOUCHED ONCE
49.    Go out for breakfast in crazy pajamas                YEAH
50.    Visit a karaoke bar                     NO :(
51.    Have a real conversation with ******               NO BUT THERE WASNT AN OPPORTUNITY
52.    Hang out with people from SYTI more           JUST SAM BUT THATS STILL GOOD
53.    Clean out and organize my room                   WORKING ON IT
54.    Spend 24 straight hours outside                     NOPE
55.    See a waterfall                         NO
56.    Find myself         STILL SO FAR AWAY...

A few days ago, MTVu's VMA tour came to the local Six Flags them park, bringing along with them Katy Perry, The Metro Station, All Time Low, and Boys Like Girls.  Boys Like Girls was the featured artist, playing the majority of the concert.  The best part? It was free with admission to the park for the day.  I'm not an amusement park person, so for just one of the above bands, I would not have sacrificed the gas for the drive, time, or money, but with all of them playing together, it was a show I had to see.  I was willing to buy a day-pass to the park for $49.99, but I never even had to! My friend's mom got hold of a coupon for buy one, get one free at McDonalds.  Haha she's so cute she went around to different McDonald's until she found the coupons that were apparently all over the place.  While we were at the park, she noticed that the offer was printed on all of the soda cans in her house.
The park's quality was even worse than the last time I had been there, in elementary school.  I've always been scared of roller coasters and a lot of other rides, but loved waterparks.  So I went there thinking, at least there's a big waterpark so we won't be bored all day.  I was most excited to relax on the lazy river.  They have always been my favorite.  It's just so relaxing floating in circles in the sun for as long as you wish.  Except when there's a line for innertubes so they make you get out after one loop.
While Sam stood in line to get into the park, I went to the line to purchase the tickets for the day.  There was only one group in front of me, but it still took 10 minutes for their purchase.  The attendant had trouble counting how much money she was handed by the group.  Granted, it was a group of about 7 14-year-old girls that were handing her crumpled bills, but she kept losing track and counting twenty dollar bills as ten dollars and so on.  The person in line behind me must have been so relieved when I payed with a credit card.  After we got into the park we had to wait in line to get wristband passes for the concert.  The park opened at 10, and we got through the gates around 10:15 but a huge line had already formed.  It took about another half an hour to get through that line.  We were so worried that they would run out and we would be stuck for the whole day at the park.  But we got our wristbands and headed off to the water park.
Oh, the waterpark.  I had fun regardless of the conditions.  We started out going on one of the smaller slides a few times.  That was actually really fun.  The middle half of the slide is completely enclosed and dark except for bright blinking lights on the top.  It reminded me of a starry night :-P
After that, we set off towards the wave pool.  But the waves weren't actually on.  Surprise, surprise.  We just went in to get wet.  It was so hot out.  We then ate lunch: horrible chicken tenders that were overly spicy and undercooked with burnt fries.  We saw that the wave machine was on so we ran back into the pool, but waves were only forming in one corner, which was crowded, so by the time the "wave" rolled down to us it was nothing.  The lazy river was closed, along with all of the other rides I was looking forward to.  We spent most of the morning just walking around and sunbathing.  We were told that the concert started at 5 and security wasn't going to allow people for form a line to get in the arena until 4.  So we thought that going over to that general area at 2:30 would be plenty of time to get good seats. WRONGOOOO
After being very rude and pushing our way to a good spot on the bleachers, the emcee came on.  He was really great.  He had hip-hop on during the breaks between bands and got people who looked like they hated hip-hop to dance a little bit.  I, on the other hand, was going crazy.  Haha I really wanted him to notice me so I was in my bathing suit, dancing and running around the arena.  It was so much fun.  I haven't danced like that in so long.
Katy Perry was the first performer.  SHE WAS AMAZING! She has such a great energy onstage, dancing and yelling but still managing to sing and play guitar without doing too much.  She's so small, too, everything she does is so cute and she's so spunky haha.  And I love her cute little Lolita dresses.  I wonder wear she finds them.  I've always lived in Columbia, where there are no vintage stores and only 1 salvation army.  Cute old clothes are so hard to come by.  Now that I'm older, I want to start going to D.C. and New York and other cities with vintage stores.  I've never gone because my mom hates thrifting and wouldn't let me go alone.  Anyways, I guess I'm a real Katy fan now because in line when we were talking about what we wanted her to play, I predicted that she would open with fingerprints then one of the boys, then play ur so gay hot and cold and if you can afford me and waking up in vegas and a few others then close with i kissed a girl.  She didn't play Waking Up in Vegas, unfortunately because I love it.  She played Mannequin instead but my predictions were dead-on otherwise.
The Metro Station was next.  I had only heard Seventeen Forever and Shake It, none of the songs they hadn't released, but I bought the CD the second I got home.  One thing, Trace Cyrus is awesome.  He looks more like his father than I thought, I was expecting him to look more like Miley.  I really liked their performance.  They are going to be back here on Halloween and I think I might come home for the weekend to see them.
All Time Low was great too, but I've seen them many times so the impression wasn't huge or surprising or anything.  We had to leave before Boys LIke Girls performed because Sam wasn't feeling well and my ankle was starting to hurt and I needed an ice pack.  But it was a great day :)

Well, I just said finished saying goodbye to the first of my best friends leaving for college.  I think it will be the worst one.  Julie, Haley, Kate and I have been friends for about 15 years and we were always together.  We went to summer camps together, school together, hell our families even went on most of our vacations together.  Well, Kate's family didn't always jump on the bandwagon because they don't really like vacations at all.
But I still don't think I've ever gone longer than two weeks without seeing her.  The exception would be the year that she went to sleepaway camp during the first session with Julie and Haley while I went with a different friend during the second session.  But after that year I always went with the three of them until I outgrew the camp.

For our last hang-out, we thought it would be cute to see the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2, since we're kind of like the characters with being best friends in the same neighborhood our whole lives.  But in this movie, it was less like them being apart for the summer and more how hard it was to stay close in college.  Just what we needed to see the night before we start to split up.

We weren't too emotional in the movie, for that reason anyway.  There were sad parts and it was just really good so of course I was teary eyed pretty much the entire movie.  But on the ride home, we realized how far away Kate is going to be.  We were talking about how Haley and I can easily get rides to come home for the weekend and Julie can just take a train.  Kate has to "cry and book a flight."  We dropped Haley off and she said goodbye to Kate in the backseat.  But when Julie and I got out of the car at Kate's house, things fell apart.  Kate is probably the most unemotional person I know when it comes to being vulnerable, but even she let her tears fall.

Once Julie took me to my own house, I couldn't stop picturing all the other goodbyes I will have to say in the next few weeks.  I tried to take my mind off of it by just having fun tonight, but it didn't really work.  I've always felt like I haven't had enough good friends, and I still feel that way.  But there are a lot of friends that i love, even though they are not as close to me as I would like them to be.

It really saddens me that it is already July.  I'm really excited to start packing and head off to Newark, but I cannot believe another summer is going by without having actually done anything.  Hell, I haven't even blogged in at least 2 weeks.  When I returned from Senior Week, I was confident that I was going to have a great summer.  What a false start.  I wanted the whole summer to be one big party...isn't that what summer is all about for teenagers?  But aside from working and laying in my bed on facebook watching tv, the only thing I really do is sleep.
At the end of spring and into the beginning of summer, I was doing so great.  I had my share of problems, but I didn't have more than my share and I didn't overanalyze, which is what I always have.  I got over the problems I had with drifting apart from my friends and feeling left out.  After years of feeling left out and trying to make new friends, I actually had new friends.  I felt so close with everyone in SYTI and had my friends from work and school this year.  I have always wanted to be part of a group, and spent my whole life trying to be in a clique.  But this year I realized that I'm not happy having a small group of friends to spend all my time with.  I enjoy having many groups of different people to fit with different parts of my personality.  But I still feel slightly left out wherever I go.
Last night, I went to a fireworks show in David's neighborhood, though he's not even in town.  But there was a community festival this weekend or something.  I was with Julie, Kate, Ayeeshik, Surya, and Nathan.  After the show, we ran into Wei and Rachel, and then David's brother.  I know this sounds cliche, but I was alone the whole time.  They all have this bond from being in classes together and being so close.  I love Julie and Kate for occasionally including me in their plans, but I've been hanging out with their friends for two years and I stil don't quite feel accepted.  An important part of that is that their favorite thing to talk about is the good ole times, which of course I wasn't a part of.
Now the same thing is happening with SYTI.  It was realy hard to feel part of the group since I never had time to be completely involved.  Towards the end of the spring, I felt really close with everyone.  Now that it's summer and there are no organized events, I only see one or two people.

*sigh*

What I'm really, really, really, really scared of is that it won't be so much easier in college, like everyone says it is.

I know it's cliche, but I want this to be the best summer ever.  I had a really hard year, academically, emotionally, and physically and I want to have some fun before college.  So I'm making a list of things that I want to do this summer.  I started it a while ago, but now I'm actually going to try to do the things on it.  At least 1 item per week.  Some are too personal to show on here so I starred them out.

I just want to have fun...


1.    *********** <--DONE. &hearts; senior week 08
2.    Stay up all night
3.    Sneak out 
4.    Go camping
5.    Go to Cascade Lake
6.    Go to Georgetown
7.    Go to the Inner Harbor
8.    Go skinny-dipping
9.    Go clubbing
10.    Go on a road trip with friends
11.    Learn how to surf
12.    ************
13.    Kiss a total stranger
14.    Kiss in the water
15.    Have a picnic
16.    Go to a bonfire
17.    Go to New York
18.    Spend a day playing board games
19.    Write everyday
20.    Tie-Dye
21.    Spend a night playing poker or blackjack
22.    Get another piercing
23.    Ride a rollercoaster
24.    Go to Warped Tour
25.    Watch movies for 24 hours straight
26.    Watch everything on the list of movies I want to see
27.    Read everything on the list of books I want to read
28.    Go to Madame Tussaud’s Wax Museum in D.C.
29.    Go to a carnival or fair
30.    Go whitewater rafting
31.    Tailgate and go to a baseball game
32.    Go to a drive-in movie
33.    Host a theme party
34.    Go paint-balling
35.    Have a picnic on a roof
36.    Meet new people
37.    Fly a kite
38.    Have a water balloon fight
39.    Go Hiking
40.    Go tubing
41.    Lose 10 pounds
42.    Play with sprinklers and a Slip ‘n Slide
43.    Get more people to participate in International Dress-Up Day!
44.    Bake all day
45.    Finish all the craft projects I’ve started in the past year
46.    Have a parking lot dance party
47.    See ***** and not flip out or cry afterwards
48.    Play my guitar more often
49.    Go out for breakfast in crazy pajamas
50.    Visit a karaoke bar
51.    Have a real conversation with ******
52.    Hang out with people from SYTI more
53.    Clean out and organize my room
54.    Spend 24 straight hours outside
55.    See a waterfall
56.    Find myself

The American Film Institute's counting down the greatest 10 movies in 10 movie genres. They've only six movies into the first categories and I'm hooked. I'd like to know how they picked the celebrities doing the comments though. Isabella Rosellini for animated movies? I wouldn't see her as an expert in that category... But so far it looks like all of the guest celebrities have either guest starred on Friends or Will & Grace. I can't believe I actually noticed that. Anyways I'm going to recap them here, maybe include my opinion on the movies I've seen on a pick here and there.
Please comment with what you think of the countdown!















I'm not going to try to write something about each of these movies because I've seen them all except for Adam's Rib and City Lights.  I don't think Moonstruck should have made the list.  There was not enough comedy in that romantic comedy.  I also think that When Harry Met Sally should at least be in the top 5.  And personally, the thing I love most about romantic comedies is hearing the expressions of love, those long monologues full of passion.  And the awkward conversations at the beginning of the romance brings a lot to the comedy.  So personally, I don't understand how a silent film like City Lights could be the greatest romantic comedy.  Please correct me if I'm wrong.  I probably won't watch it unless someone can convince me that I'd like it.



Well on the top of the list of things I want to do this summer is watch more classic movies.  I hadn't really thought about which ones, or what type of movies.  I think the first ones I will tackle is all the movies on this list that now seem really interesting.
Please tell me your favorite movie, so I have more to watch!