lilaciel

You know the story of the Little Red Hen, who found a grain of wheat and go about asking her neighbours to help bake a bread but none of them did? In the end, she baked the bread by herself and shared none of it with her neighbours who came knocking on her door to ask for a share.  Yes, I am that Little Red Hen now and the moral of the story is that, if those around me cant be bothered, then neither am I.  This is fair game as such.

Some ppl sure are a fickle lot.  They get all pompous over their ROM/Wedding/Baby 1st Mth/Baby Birthday/watever else and then for the rest of the time, just promptly overlook the well-meaning efforts of other friends who actually bother to organise gatherings/meetups.   Yes, your family and such events are very important to YOU but pls dun forget that you have other frens who put in efforts for organising other shit that you dun care enuff.

And if you expect me as a fren to drop everything just to attend any of the above stated, then sorry, you have clearly overvalued me as a fren and as a person cos I dun see why I need to give a damn just as you dun give a damn bout the stuff I organise.  Pls be fair and dun be selfish and so self-centered.   If you think you deserve better then pls ask urself if your frens deserve better form you as all.  I am already polite enuff to turn down your invitation for a valid reason that I have something on this weekend and I clearly dun appreciate you retorting that I could just pop by for a while to attend an event all the way in Punggol from a very ulu sama chalet location in Tanah Merah.  Have you thot bout my convenience?  Are you paying for my cab fare?  Why do you think I would bother that much?  What a joke seriously.

P/S  I am not going and I cant be bothered to bao an ang pow or give a gift whatever even out of goodwill and courtesy cos I dun think you will really bother yeah?   And at least I replied, I cant say that much for you when it comes to your non-replies or just even drop a line for confirmation when it comes to the meetups/gathering I organised.

I guess that sometimes, i dun expect ppl to change, not that I dun need to change that much too but yeah, there are stuff that I felt and relate to and thing never change.  So now is the time, I take it upon myself to change so that I do not need to be on the receiving end of such crap any more.  The thing bout friends is always a tricky issue, I treasure them as much as I could but at the end of the day, I am but a fren of a lowly status in comparison to everything else around them.  I have been with enuff frens to know that I am the kind of fren that everyone and anyone can drop me at the drop of a hat.  It is not the first time, neither will it be the last but I am hoping with this, it might as well be the last time cos I am not going to be here to take such abuses forever.

The ppl and frens around me can take me for granted for all they care but there is a time when I will have enuff of this shit and pack up and leave.  I can really do without these kind of crap in my life really and this wont be the first or last time that I get enuff of this.  I love my frens but I felt that I need to love myself more than them and make the correct decisions.  And I can live without such misery in my life really, friends or not.  Even if things change or not, most of the time, it is just too late.

It is not something that I made a harsh decision over, it is something that I would have considered for a long time, and when this is repeatedly done to me, I dun want to take the disappointment time and again.  I have enuff frens who do this shit to me time and again, and I really need to cut short on my losses and move on.  For ppl who wont change, I will change.  The amount of disappointment and indignant I felt over this is really overwhelming to this extent, and yes, it is too late now.  I always seem to make this kind of decisions a step too late cos I always want to tell myself that it is easier to forgive and forget but some stuff, I think is easier for others than for myself to get over.  Yeah, and so that there wont be a next time and another time and a next next time.

The very idea of being a friend and the notion of being helpful is really over-rated.  Oh yes, it NEVER ever fucking pay to be nice or help out for the sake of others.  Not even for the sake of a fren cos it is not even worth it in the end when all you get back is shittiness as such!  For the last time ever, I am not gonna have anything more to do with helping or assisting others.  So pardon me, no wait, I am not even sorry that I cant be bothered with watever cos any fren can claim otherwise, but end of the day, you only want something from me and you dun give, you only take.  So I am not gonna fall for this shitty friendship game anymore which my kindness and willing to help is taken for granted and then thrown back into my face.

Goes to show how much one regard friendship and all hur?  Then this is the level I stooped to play this game then!  

I think I have fallen in love with this guy but unfortunately, my bank account is gonna hate him so much!!!!   *Sigh*  I haven really fancy dolls that much after my Date Masamune but here come along SDGr Saitoh Hajime and you know how the story goes.....  Well, I really fancy him cos he is on a Volks SDGr body and not SD17, I only have a thing for SD13 and SDGr sized boys!  And for some reason, he kinda remind me of Makishima from Pyscho-Pass. IKR. Do not judge me.  And if it is not bad enuff, I have actually named him already, you know you want something when you actually even named a doll who is not even in your possession!!!! But then I am totally a sucker for Shinsengumi and it is a given right?

Oh well, gonna try for the Volks AE lottery again, and still remembering the Date Masamune fiasco, I shall just remind myself that the more I want something, the more I wont get him ~_~  It is true, I only hve the luck to win dolls for others but not the ones I want for myself, my frens have to win it for me!  It goes a full cycle!

That said, somehow I am just very amused that I took so long to mull over the Mulberry Alexa bag and yet I wont even bat an eyelid over some resin guy.  Now really.....

While on MC tdy for my persistent cough and sore throat, I finished watching the hit Jdrama for 2013, Hanzawa Naoki.  There was really much hype over this series when it was aired last year and I can understand what the fuss is all about after watching it through.  I would have thought that a series about banking and all to be all boring and number crunching , ala the excesses of Wall Street and the likes but the series turn out to be of a very basic concept that anyone in the working society could have understand plainly and simply.

First thing first, Masato Sakai who acted as the titular main character is an amazing actor and I always enjoy his roles in the series I watch.  I first saw him in Shinsengumi! acting as Yamanami, who was later ordered to commit seppaku and I cried my heart out over that.  His animosity with Hijikata was so intense that you cant even cut it thru with a katana and as much as I love the character Hijikata, his protrayal of Yamanami won me over!  Then he was Hagu's uncle in Honey and Clover and Atsuhime's husband in Atsuhime.  I watched a bit of Legal High but it was a bit boring for me though he is at his brilliant best in the series as a lawyer.  Maybe I should get back to it someday!

And the best thing bout his character Hanzawa Naoki is his famous tagline "Double Payback" which  I guess resonate with most ppl.  He would not take the blame quietly and spineless and is unafraid to speak up against his superior and the higher management.  He fight back for the values he believe in and despite all the crap thrown upon him to disrupt his course of work, he still managed to overcome them all and retain his integrity as a banker, a human being and most of all, a friend.  In such times, as we get overwhelmed by meeting sales targets, KPI and all, sometimes, I think we would have overlook on the finer aspects on the work we should really be doing.  The overall vision get distorted too readily and easier all in the quest to meet that sales target and the means to get to doing so overshadow all other needs.  I think one would loathe to be that kind of worker, but sadly, in too many industries, this is the case.

The casting for the series was quite remarkable too!  Personally, my fave characters are Hanzawa Naoki and his megane best frend Tomari played by the actor who played Nobunaga in Nobunaga no Chef.  It takes me a few episodes to unsee him as Nobunaga and I was sceptical of his role initially cos he has this wily sly look and I was under the impression he is out to exploit his good fren.  But he tirelessly toil and worked the groundwork for his fren and helped him out of the binds many a time.  I find the gay Tax Inspector Kurosaki really irritating though he is quite the riot everytime he appear on scene.  I thot he look familar somehow, turned out he is some stage actor and I think he is pretty damn famous cos I saw his posters everywhere in Japan back then!  Best villain role had tp go to the guy who played Owada the executive director of the bank whom Hanzawa pitted himself against.  His was a bipolar role, menacing and conniving executive banker who mercilessly discard his subordinates once they outlive their usefulness to him.  I love the intense enmity between Hanzawa and him towards the end, as the former tries by all means to bring him down and expose his doings.  I am not too fond of Aya Ueto who play Hanzawa's wife in the series, I just felt her exaggerated hand gestures really irritating and her chemistry with her husband is more like a brother and sister equation more than anything.

Also, I guess Hanzawa character is one you would never wanna step on his tail, lest he unleash his fury upon you.  Screw him over and he will screw you back, double the payback, what a scary man not to be messed with!  I quite like his dark side as well, and his revengeful nature might not sit well too well with those forget and forgive camp of ppl.  His is a flawed character, you cant pin pt him good or bad, but in normal circumstances, you need to be a saint to be that good really.

That said, I hope there is a 2nd season cos I find the ending a bit weak and underwhelming.  The element of dissatisfaction is not a nice one to undertake!