pleh. again, there’s too much in my mind that i can do absolutely nothing about. “…you ache to fix me.” it was a line in one of her poems, and it was a nice surprise awhile ago that someone felt that same way, for me.

communication. it always boils down to that. but i’ve always got negative feedback, and that’s difficult to learn from. a kid needs some positive as well, if they’re to grow.

i want out of here. it’s nice to go back, but it’s not mine anymore. homes are times as well as places. as well as delusions.

what am i doing?

half a year more, then… i need a job. i need one now, of course.

but really, who cares?

see, i wish i could communicate properly. but maybe, just maybe, all i need is someone to listen properly?

i’m not sure if i just take ages to process things, or its just easy for me to make me go numb. compartmentalize. otherwise people might guess i’m losing the plot.

bahahahahaha! quote from an American, from a long time ago: “you care too much.”
Maybe i should stop caring. maybe it would be better for me.  or maybe, it would feel like death.

i want arby’s.

bend, buckle, break
tuck, tackle, take
quell, quandry, quake
why wander? Wake.

oh. it’s backwards. just backwards, that’s alright then, everything’s backwards for me.

little black box, where did you go? i need to give you something, but i just can’t let it go.

what’s that you were saying about sleep?