Okay people... there are like four plastic tree fics out there.. and I think I have read them all like 15 times.  So... its times like these you must make one yourself.  Now... lets see if I can remember how to write.

Also it occurs to me in fiction i'm a total pervert.. hee hee! 

I have a drug problem, but not the way you usually expect. I am tired of the medications that run my life,  no one should need a medication to inhale with out issues.  I take three different meds for my asthma,  another for ocd and depression.  The most frustrating is the asthma because when I have trouble breathing it makes me anxious which makes my ocd go off, and causes me to itch and pull at my hair... which makes me shy, and anxious about being noticed which  makes me more frustrated and harder to breathe.. and it starts again....

frustrating. 

I know it's a drop in the bucket compared to what some of my best friends have... Its petty but... its frustrating none the less. 

Rebounding from Holiday exhaustion. I have spent the last three days sleeping, relaxing and doing nothing but things I want to do.  I have been working on scaling down some outfits from Gadget Grow to fit one of my dolls.  So far so good, I sold one of my dolls to a friend in trade for money I owed her for a ferret emergency and a new Littlefee Lewi. He probably wont arrive for months but thats okay I'm also working on finishing up a long overdue commission. But I'm running very low on MSC  so I'm going to have to suck it up this weekend and buy a six pack of msc and some tamiya gloss. 

I have been spending a lot of time in Kurage and surfing around on line.  Money has gotten tight, but then again I can't complain because I'm employed, as thankless a job as it is.  A tooth which had cracked almost 10 years ago, broke 5 years ago, finally broke off entirely last week.  So I have to get a bridge, I'm kind of glad, because with the bridge it will cover the surface of two more teeth which I am very shy about as the fillings inside of them make them appear kind of gray when I smile too wide.  I have an irrational fear of the dentist.  No that is not true I have a very rational fear of the dentist, I had at one point over 14 fillings after my braces were removed and they found the cement never really sealed well and there were pockets.   Apparently my strange physiology makes it so that I don't process the anasthetic quite right, and it takes about twice as many shots. 

As such.... every time I go to the dentist I steel myself against it. I tell myself its an irrational fear. that I need to just get over it.  I sit down and tell them I'm fine.  I lie.  and then they start and the next thing I know the Doctors have slapped a mask on me,and I don't remember much after that.   When I finally wake up or rather come around I ask why.... and the dentist tells me. "You put up a brave front... but I can tell your terrified..." 

Okay... time to get to bed... Its snowing outside... I love the snow. 


~あ

Yesterday was kind of made of fail, I was still exhausted from the weekend. I have decided to trade my custom LTF Bisou to my friend Darla, who adores her much more than I do. Shes a very sweet doll but like many of my project dolls I feel like shes finished and I'm not sure what else to do for her, I feel like shes compleated, and then I have my friend Darla who always wants to borrow her, who treats her like shes the most amazing thing she has ever seen. So I think its a good trade.

Also it allows me to work on "Smudge" the little fee lewi I am getting. Inspired heavily by Ryutaro from Pura.

December turned in to a disaster with everything going wrong, and or being sick. I'm finally feeling better and back to work on dolls. Huge huge huge meet happened this last weekend. I should write something up about it but i'm still recovering.  Things of note.

 1) my friend drug me kicking and screaming in to Sherlock Holmes but now damnit i'm hooked.

2) Why does Plastic Tree fanfic not exist... sob.  even bad fic..... sob.

Its been a strange week for me, I have had a case of the blues but if it makes sense its not exactly the blues. I'm down but I think mostly its because my office is moving.  Now I am excited for the move, I don't like the current office, I really am excited to be back down town, but it's still a huge move and I react oddly to major changes.   I haven't felt much like working on dolls this week, I finished up one set last week so he will go home today. 

I'm bored and want to rp.... go me. 33 and i'm still rocking the rp love.

I really need a new layout... My birthday is next week and i'm kind of pondering over what to really do. I already had my sort of party with the halloween gathering, but now i'm trying to figure out what I want to do.  it usually means just chilling out and relaxing at home with some friends.  The weekend before halloween was insane I went out on friday to see Miyavi in concert with some friends, it was a very good time.  Also a halloween party the next day and kind of passed out on sunday.   

I'm currently on a Plastic Tree kick... pondering spoiling myself for my birthday with a limited cd....   not sure yet. 

I finished up the Luna plates from Darla last night, I will get some photos today, I am now working on a long overdue Shiny doll with beautiful butterfly ears, I'm excited to work on her. I also need to work on Busted, a Bisou from the same storyline as R-22 and Prototype.

here is another photo from my little halloween gathering. over 20 littlefees