Wish Journal by Apple is more robust, features I'm looking for is shareability, anonymous accounts maybe that can be exported to an online journal of some sort. Looking at Day One app. Hasn't really changed much in the last few years and it's a paid service, too.
Dreamt that Lucy Liu was Tom Cruise's adopted daughter and she only came out now about it.
Just realized that there is no LiveJournal app in the US Apple App Store. Strange. That's one of the best apps for journaling out there, really liked how stable it was, the right buttons in the right places.
Went to Ballard today. Not really sure what to expect there. Went to go to this highly recommended records (vinyl) shop. Was not disappointed.
Not really a Friday yet but I feel like doing this today!
1. Ten years ago, what did you think you would be doing now?
I never thought I'd be 46. Like that number seems so far away! I probably thought that to reach this age is unforgivable. At 36 I was being a bum, in limbo. Just attending yoga classes, crossfit and enjoying city life. But yeah I probably believed I'd be working here in the States and at least I got that part right.
2. Where do you think you will be five years from now?
Maybe California? Hopefully with my own house but let's see.
3. Do you live life one day at a time or look to the future?
I tend to keep looking to the future when I start daydreaming. When I was back in the islands I told myself, I'd spend a morning lying on the floor, looking at the ceiling and just breathing. I have memories of this as a child or even as a baby. Just clear your mind and look at whatever catches your attention. No overthinking. That would be so awesome, I thought, to not feel any responsibility or fucking deadlines. Listen to the sounds outside and just letting go. Looking back I would have this feeling after a yoga class during meditation.
4. Do you wish you could go back in time and undo something in your life?
Maybe if I started working earlier in my profession I would have been earning real money by now. I was just so fucking lost when my childhood dream of becoming a doctor didn't happen.
5. If you could send a message back in time and give a younger version of yourself some advice, what would it be?
Follow your heart!
I don't know how to make links to communities anymore. https://thefridayfive.livejournal.com/
I miss miss the good old Livejournal days where I had enough friends online who can see my stuff--not too much and no HR staff lurking around.
Livejournal still feels like a safe place. But it's like being alone on an island or maybe Chernobyl. You can scream all you want, say all what you think and feel without fear of offending anyone.
Reading the book Klara and the Sun. It's 2 days before I fly to Michigan. This also means I have to work for 2 days more.
Okay let me just say I find LJ’s iphone app awesome!
Meanwhile I just woke up from a post jack off nap and it’s 20min past midnight. I love this. Temporarily, I have no care about the world. No work schedule to think off. Finished my clearance from work yesterday finally. Payroll didn’t make it easy.
Sneezing. Do I have covid, I wonder. I’m going to get swabbed possibly on Monday.
Things not going smoothly as planned. Delays as usual. Passport tentative date of release on Monday. If it does get released, then it’s covid swab time. Then mnl-lax flight on Tuesday and possibly not return to this country in the next few years.
Letting go of my car. I’m crushed. Although I’m getting a car in US and it’s already been arranged.
End of an era. It’s hard to swallow, hard to move on. Feels like I’m 21 again with all this uncertainty. Now in my 40’s, seems like nothing has changed.
I didn't think that one day I'd say this but, sorry LA. I misunderstood you.
The last time I was in LA was a couple of years ago. I went there alone which was an opportunity for me to get to know the city. That's what I like about traveling alone--you learn to adjust and you find yourself in a situation where you have to put your preconceived ideas about a place aside and try to accept the vibe, mood, culture and energy of the place with open arms. That didn't happen with LA for me and it's probably because I was there before and what I thought I knew about LA got stuck. LA with my Filipino relatives is so much different from LA with me alone.
I never really understood LA until the last few weeks. But I did have a moment when I was right by some coffee shop near the Grauman's Chinese Theater. I looked around and saw the big Hollywood sign and nearby an Ugly Betty billboard. That made my heart race! I knew at that moment that I can make it there! The Hollywood bug bit me! And then I turned around and sipped my coffee. Then I was reminded by my relatives and all their drama and forgot about my Hollywood dreams.
Maybe it's because I'm more used to the Midwest and East Coast that being in LA caused a lot of confusion to me. LA was definitely San Francisco, not one bit.
After watching this Louis Vuitton presentation about LA, and seeing Rock of Ages, it made me realize about the things that I chose not to see. I remember the madness that was LA, the bus full of Spanish-speaking people. Waiting for the next bus in the bus station right smack in the middle of the freeway. Taking the subway. The homeless. The tourists. And the energy! It's a big city after all and I thrive in big cities.
Speaking of big cities, 3 weeks from now I'll be in New York City! I hope the AirBnB thing works out or I'm screwed!
I have taken this test a few times and I don't remember my past results. Anyhoo, reading the description of the result I just got which is INFJ, I think my personality was described pretty well.
So this morning I've been reading-ish about INFJ and here's something that hit the mark:
INFJs have uncanny insight into people and situations. They get "feelings" about things and intuitively understand them. As an extreme example, some INFJs report experiences of a psychic nature, such as getting strong feelings about there being a problem with a loved one, and discovering later that they were in a car accident. This is the sort of thing that other types may scorn and scoff at, and the INFJ themself does not really understand their intuition at a level which can be verbalized. Consequently, most INFJs are protective of their inner selves, sharing only what they choose to share when they choose to share it. They are deep, complex individuals, who are quite private and typically difficult to understand. INFJs hold back part of themselves, and can be secretive
I talk about this with a lot of people but not many understand it. It's more than a gut feel about things, usually more specific emotions about people and places which very few can relate to. Sometimes I can feel that I have a psychic connection with someone, sometimes with a group of people. I've always seen it as a form of emphatic ability. Maybe it's already been 10 years since I've noticed about that so I had 2 options: severe those connections or surround myself with positive people. Since connection usually happens randomly these days because of my lack of repeated 1:1 interaction with anyone, I just would just avoid negative people. And that's keeping me sane.
INFJs are gentle, caring, complex and highly intuitive individuals. Artistic and creative, they live in a world of hidden meanings and possibilities. Only one percent of the population has an INFJ Personality Type, making it the most rare of all the types.
Counselors (INFJ's) are highly intuitive and can recognize another's emotions or intentions - good or evil - even before that person is aware of them. Counselors themselves can seldom tell how they came to read others' feelings so keenly. This extreme sensitivity to others could very well be the basis of the Counselor's remarkable ability to experience a whole array of psychic phenomena.
I used to have this exercise with my friends in college. We would sit down face to face and I'd say, "I'll tell you something specific about yourself that you haven't told anyone." I pride myself in being always correct in whatever I'd say and my classmates would call me some sort of fortune teller. It's something we do when the teacher didn't show up or there was a long break between classes and we didn't have anywhere to go.
This empathy can serve as a classic example of the two-edged nature of certain INFJ talents, as it can be strong enough to cause discomfort or pain in negative or stressful situations, For instance, there can sometimes be a "tug-of-war" between NF vision and idealism and the J practicality that urges compromise for the sake of achieving the highest priority goals. And the I and J combination, while perhaps enhancing self-awareness, may make it difficult for INFJs to articulate their deepest and most convoluted feelings.
INFJ after all means Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Judging. Intuitive and at the same time, Feeling. Almost opposites.
Xoxo.
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