The 4 (or 5) Characteristics of Evil.
Family gatherings did not used to be filled with misery the way they are now. They are filled with hate. I can't explai how weird it is, because there are things I cannot talk to the rest of my family about becasue they are things my mother did that they would not believe, that I know about but cannot remember. Things I'm sure would embarrass me too, because I never wanted to get married or have kids, but then someone in my system decided to get pregnant, based on my father urging me to get pregnant outside of wedlock when I was a teenager.
He is a sick puppy of course, but I didn't remember the things he used to say until the last few years. I know there's more, but I have only memories of what he said to me over the phone, not what he did. Others hold those memories for me.
My mother said she does not speak to him anymore, because he is afraid of what she will do to him. Which is a continuation of the fantasy that she has that when he first started physically abusing him, she fought him off, slapped his hands away and told him to just stop it.
I have no idea what she really did, maybe knelt and whined like a dog for pity, but she sure didn't tell him anything, put him in his place, fight him off or in any way cause him to respect her. He's an unrepentant baby fucker as far as I know, a college educated, I'm-going-to-get-what-I-want-no-matter-w
Which brings me to M. Scott Peck's book, People of the Lie. He names four characteristics of evil people:
1. They lie
2. They're stupid
3. They're cheap
4. They're confusing
I wonder if simply indifference isn't also a marked characteristic.
My mother is the one who I'm concerned with here, the father of origin was horrible, but she never had whatever it took to be any better than him. She does not have persistence or character.
The thing to do now would be to list the characteristics in order and then support them. I'm feeling better having got this far, and I'm kind of stressed because of the heat and other stuff, so maybe I can continue this another time.
Out of order, CHEAP: everything is about money, saving small amounts of it, spending inordinate amounts of time worrying about small amounts. Which tends to rub off on me, but at least I feel like I recognize it. She actually writes notes about it if she finds a piece of tinfoil from a Hershey's kiss in the wastebasket at Christmas. IT doesn't matter to her than time and people are worth more than money. She doesn't realize that relationships with her kids would improve if she would stop nagging about jobs and money, and that if she...
Eh, I'm tired.
STUPID:
He is a sick puppy of course, but I didn't remember the things he used to say until the last few years. I know there's more, but I have only memories of what he said to me over the phone, not what he did. Others hold those memories for me.
My mother said she does not speak to him anymore, because he is afraid of what she will do to him. Which is a continuation of the fantasy that she has that when he first started physically abusing him, she fought him off, slapped his hands away and told him to just stop it.
I have no idea what she really did, maybe knelt and whined like a dog for pity, but she sure didn't tell him anything, put him in his place, fight him off or in any way cause him to respect her. He's an unrepentant baby fucker as far as I know, a college educated, I'm-going-to-get-what-I-want-no-matter-w
Which brings me to M. Scott Peck's book, People of the Lie. He names four characteristics of evil people:
1. They lie
2. They're stupid
3. They're cheap
4. They're confusing
I wonder if simply indifference isn't also a marked characteristic.
My mother is the one who I'm concerned with here, the father of origin was horrible, but she never had whatever it took to be any better than him. She does not have persistence or character.
The thing to do now would be to list the characteristics in order and then support them. I'm feeling better having got this far, and I'm kind of stressed because of the heat and other stuff, so maybe I can continue this another time.
Out of order, CHEAP: everything is about money, saving small amounts of it, spending inordinate amounts of time worrying about small amounts. Which tends to rub off on me, but at least I feel like I recognize it. She actually writes notes about it if she finds a piece of tinfoil from a Hershey's kiss in the wastebasket at Christmas. IT doesn't matter to her than time and people are worth more than money. She doesn't realize that relationships with her kids would improve if she would stop nagging about jobs and money, and that if she...
Eh, I'm tired.
STUPID: